Good Morning! erm...well at least it's morning now. o.o So how is everyone doing? I'm fine thank you!
(Eriol comes over: I don't think anyone asked...)
Uhh, so what did I want to say...let's see...another flaw in my story huh? I know Sakura was Syaoran's best friend, but he kept a lot of stuff hidden from her. (You'll learn why later) As a kid, he wasn't supposed to have any friends, or at least his parents told him not to make any close relationships. It's only later when he is older that he starts using the name Li. (It'll all be explained. Because this was written from Sakura's view point, I can't reveal everything to the reader because she herself shouldn't know the answer to everything regarding Syaoran.)
Hmm...Oh yes! Second, an apology to all those people out there who actually study Japanese history and read what I made up in the last chapter. How accurate was I? That's what I'd like to know! I just went to a random (professional looking) site and absorbed some info and transferred it to my story with a few twists. (BOWS to people offended) Other than that I really don't know much of Japanese history. I'm sad like that, yes...Anyways, sorry for that and now it's time to give out my thanks!
(these are those that reviewed for chapt 2, I didn't forget anyone did I?)
karincherry: hi karincherry, I hope I answered your first question above. . in regards to the quote "Maybe I am not the one who loves you the most, but you are the one I love the deepest, with all my heart." hmm...(scratches head) how to explain..."Maybe I am not the one who loves you the most" refers to the idea that of all the people who do love you, I may not be able to compare with the love someone else can offer you, "but you are the one I love the deepest with all my heart" shows that regardless of how much more someone else may love you, I love you with my own capacity and although it may not match to another person's love, it is as much love as my own being can provide. Does that make sense? When I first read the quote I thought the same thing you did, but I found the quote like this and I wondered if I was missing something. I derived the meaning on my own so it may be wrong. Meh, hahaha (Trust me, you may be right too!) Thanks for letting me know what I had to clear up! I like it when reviewers point stuff like that out! .
Sakura Li 2389: It's great that you brought up the fact that Sakura could've just mentioned Syaoran's name because I was thinking about that when I was writing.Then I went to thinking that I wanted to make things more interesting and keep Li in the dark...And YES! he knows she's looking for Syaoran but he doesn't want to totally reveal who he is until a little later...it isn't as long as I intended for him to wait, but let's chock it up to him being to excited that he found someone important from his past. Wow, you're good at this guessing the plot thing! . (heh, eriol did seem to be a little too knowing didn't he? I'll explain that later on in the story...eriol will explain himself.)
a little someone: WOOH! Enjoy this chapter! More for you right? haha
Wite AnEjUl oV hElL: haha, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I wanted to make Li kind've eccentric. Did it work? I'm really scared in writing his character because I want to keep his personality intact...IT's So HaRd! Sometimes, he's too cruel for his own good...but, yeah was it really emotional? Awe, I'd hug you for saying that if I could!
kimtarboi622: And what do you know? They do get together in this chapter! I'm telling you, everyone is so good in guessing what's going to happen next!
Light in the Darkness: oh, light in the darkness, I just love your reviews! I'll update quicker! I will! And yes, I don't want to drag this on very much, so he better start remembering a few things soon! Amnesia, smanesia!...heh
Majah: Yeah, I'm sort of bad at ending my chapters...they always seem to end like that. I hope Li's reaction is a good one for you. ARGH! It's so hard to keep him in character...I swear I still don't know what it is! Anyways, please enjoy this chappie. .
youkaigirl64: My motto, you can never say thanks enough! (or sorry, but Li seems to think otherwise huh?) Anyways, haha thank you for leaving a review and enjoy!
Christine: Okay wow! That's good. Syaoran is supposed to be a kind person. I'm glad you were able to see that and I hope everyone else does. He's not just a mean cocky creep, he really isn't! (Li butts in: Damn right I'm not!) But everyone seemed okay with him comforting Sakura so it turned out fine I think. I hope this chapter is better than the last! Thanks so much and I'll shut up to let you read now haha.
the nadja: Haha I loved making Li say he had headaches whenever he saw Sakura's face! But yes I was trying to hint to everyone who he really was and that's why I got Eriol to explain some background info of him to Sakura. Did it work? Or did I just manage to make Li look like a kid with mental problems? haha Thanks for taking the time to read!
sakuraluv24: That is SO true. Here Li thinks Sakura was just chasing after his friend, Eriol-kun, but he realizes she thought he was someone else...Syaoran in fact, and to top it off, him! (as that is his name) I tried to mix together the emotion of surprise and anger together in his reaction and ended up with angprise! haha I'm lame, I know...but you're right, I didn't make him recall her immediately. Like how predicatble would that be? haha . So I hope I'll be able to clear things up as this story goes on and about the history assignment...I hope it wasn't too farfetched. (and I would like to include other characters in the story...probably Tomoyo.) Thanks!
You guys are so great!
Part III
"What do you want?" his voice was patient, but still strangled as if every word spoken hurt him. I wanted to know if he came here frequently. My opinion of him was starting to change.
I didn't answer for a moment, forcing my tears back down. Looking at the ground I answered truthfully. "I-I want Syoaran."
I watched as his body froze. I looked up and tried to make out his expression. The tension grew thick as the only sound was from the rustle of cherry blossoms.
Then, finally "W-what did you say?"
I shook my head thoughtfully. For a moment, I almost thought he knew someone named Syaoran. That he knew my Syaoran. My heart crashed hard against my ribs. "Syaoran. To be happy…I want to see Syaoran." I shook my head. "Sorry. I'm just saying things."
"You…who are you?"
His voice was beginning to lose it's kindness and once again, I was reminded of who I was with. "I'm sorry, I can't stay." I got up from the swing, and took a few steps away from Li, until I was completely out of his reach. "I'm sorry, I didn't listen to you earlier…Li-san. You were right. Eriol-kun wasn't Syaoran."
I gave a small wave even though I knew he wouldn't be able to see me. This was the last time I would ever see him. Eriol wasn't Syaoran.
During lunch period the next day, I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't catch colds easily, but I couldn't stop sniffling the whole day. I desperately wanted the day to end.
Other than that, things went back to normal. I was invisible again. I suppose I should have felt lonely, but I was in a way happy. Before all this, I never had a reason to cry. I spent my days admiring Eriol and wishing to once again be reunited with him. I realized then that the hope I had back then had been enough. It kept me going day after day. I went to school, looking forward to catch a glimpse of Eriol, angry that Li was always at his side.
It wasn't my place to enter their lives. Even if Eriol was Syaoran, I had no right to re-enter his life just because I wanted to. Wherever he was now, he knew nothing of the past we had spent together. I wasn't going to give up on Syaoran. I just wanted him to know that if we ever did encounter each other, I wouldn't force myself into his life.
What I really wanted wasn't Syaoran to be in my life again. What I really wanted was to see Syaoran happy; to see if he was still that sad child from so long ago.
Li said he wanted happiness. I hoped he found it because I could now relate to Eriol. He was like me. Both of us wanted our friends to be happy. Li was right. Wanting to be happier than you already were shouldn't be wrong.
I walked home with a smile on my face that day. I was incredibly sick, but nevertheless I was content. However, the only disturbing thing was the fact that in history class that day, my book had appeared on my desk and no one had said a word to me about last day's events. The whole thing was oddly comforting as if the whole incident hadn't occurred.
I sneezed as I shut my locker.
"Now you're sick? Who knew one night outside would be that harmful."
I was more than surprised when I looked up and saw none other than Li. Since that day, I hadn't seen him within ten feet of me. His sudden outburst made my mind fly to that horrible night. "W-what do you want?" I asked, wanting to sound indifferent. Instead, it came out in a hostile tone.
He narrowed his eyes in distaste. "You sure know how to ruin a mood. I come here out of character to ask if you're okay, and this is how I'm treated?"
He was up to something. He was definitely up to something. I could tell that easily enough. "About the other night…" I started, carefully. "I told you who I was searching for. I thought Syaoran was Eriol-kun, but now… you seem to know something."
He was silent for a moment. "Who is he?"
"Who?" he was looking at my in a studious way, as if reading something from my face. It took a second for me to realize he meant Syaoran. "He was my friend."
"Must have been a hell of a friend, if you want to look for him even now." he seemed to think I had a second motive to finding Syaoran and that unnerved me. What I didn't understand was why he was suddenly so interested. He was pounding me for answers and it was supposed to be the other way around.
"He meant a lot to me." I wouldn't stand there and let him bad mouth Syaoran. "What's your point?" he kept looking down at me with such deep concentration that I was starting to turn red.
"Sick people shouldn't get all bothered like that. How do you expect to get better?"
I ignored him, unable to hear slight worry in his tone. "It seemed like you recognized the name-"
Li however, didn't seem to want to be pulled into a bad mood again and interrupted me. "Not only are you entirely clueless, but talking to you just caused my I.Q to drop a few notches. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm leaving." he grinned at me. "You won't do too good for my image. Look, people are starting to stare."
I flushed, realizing he was telling the truth. "Wait! So Eriol-kun isn't…"
"Nope, he's plain, old, lame Eriol-kun." he was walking off, holding onto the syllables in Eriol's name as he always did when mimicking me.
"But you know something don't you?" I called, hoping he would answer.
He hesitated slightly in his gait. In a harsh whisper that I could barely make out, he said "You're voice…I wonder why I didn't recognize it that night. Gives me a damn headache."
A few days passed and my cold wasn't getting any better. On Saturday, I was glad to get out of school early. I had the rest of the weekend to get better and as soon as I imagined myself under the warm bed covers after a hot, steamy bath, I started to feel better.
Not once did I see Li. He must have been trying to forget about everything that had happened. I couldn't blame him. I had just barged into his life.
Sneezing, I quickly turned the corner and ran to the gate of my house.
My breath caught as I opened it to reveal a face I thought I would never have to see again.
Li pushed himself off a large boulder in the backyard, placing his hands in his pocket. An awkward look was in his eye.
"Li-san…" I trailed.
"I let myself in from the back gate."
I didn't move. How had he known that I would come in from the back gate? Even if he let himself in from the back, wouldn't any sane person go wait in the front? "H-how long have you been here?"
He shrugged. "Just came."
His eyes were hard and unreadable. I sniffled despite myself. "I haven't seen you around. I wanted to say thanks for returning my book the last time."
"Yeah…" he looked at the ground. "No one's been bothering you about that day, have they?"
I was surprised by his concern. So much that I was speechless for a moment. However, I had a feeling that it had been him who had stopped all the rumours all along. "No. No one." I closed the gate behind me. "How do you know where I live?"
"Your house is close to my old-" he cut himself off. "It's close to Eriol's."
I frowned, wondering if whether that was a good enough answer for my question. I knew where Eriol lived and in reality, it was on the other side of the garden square. Still, I didn't question him further.
"Is that what you wanted to say? To make sure I got my book back?" I noticed then that not only was Li's behaviour slightly off, but he had a certain flush to his skin tone. It made him look almost…happy. Did that mean he found his happiness?
"I need to tell you something."
"Oh?" I waited patiently to continue, hoping he would hurry up because I really wanted that warm bath.
He hesitated and I realized this was the first time I had ever seen him so flustered.
"What is it?"
"Your happiness…" he began.
I looked up at him, intently.
He looked at me with determined eyes. "Did you ever find him?"
"I-no. Not yet." I smiled. "You found something that makes you happy?"
He gave a slight nod.
My heart jumped and I took a step closer towards him. "That's really great! What was it?" I leaned in so he could tell me.
That day he had appeared so distressed that seeing him happy was almost comforting.
Before I knew what was happening, Li's arms went around me. My cheek made a soft thud against his uniform as his arms clasped me tightly. I couldn't move, but my face burned.
"You must be happy. When I first saw you, you looked very happy." I babbled. "But you don't have to thank me. I didn't do anything."
"I'm not thanking you."
My face grew even hotter. "W-what do you mean?"
"Sakura."
Something felt like it was tugging at my heart. Li's arms pulled me even closer to him.
"Sakura. I'm sorry. I didn't remember you."
"W-what are you talking about?" I whispered. I shook my head against him.
"Our last conversation made me think. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said regarding...Syaoran." He released me and took a step back. "You never knew my last name?"
"I still don't know your last name." I replied. I'd never seen Li this excited.
"You don't know my first name. Li's my last name."
I cocked my head. "No one ever called you anything different. I thought only Eriol knew your first name."
Li scoffed. "I didn't think he was the only one."
"Hey, what are you talking about?"
He rolled his eyes. "You're clueless you know that?"
"I don't need to hear that from you…" I mumbled silently. He had said that the last time too.
"What? What did you say?" he stopped for a moment. "You've changed a lot you know."
His words hit me then. I looked up at him, eyes wide. "Your first name…what is it?"
He rolled his eyes. "You need me to tell you that? I'm starting to question whether we were real friends or not."
"It's…"
He smiled a warm smile. It caused my heart to slam against my chest. "Syaoran."
I couldn't speak for a time. "You can't be…liar, you can't be…"
His face fell. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? You snotty brat! If you can't recognize me…" he stopped as he must've seen my tears well up. Slowly, he came towards me.
"Sakura, I haven't changed that much have I? You said you were searching for me."
I took a step away from him. "No, you're lying. You can't be him. Syaoran wasn't like you. You're not him. Stop lying."
He advanced towards me, but I quickly retreated until my hand was back on the gate, ready to dash away if he took another step.
He continued towards me and my hand went into a fist. I avoided his hand and before I knew what was happening, my hand shot out and punched Li on his jaw.
He froze. An odd look came over his face as he stopped moving towards me. His voice returned to the way it sounded that night at the garden. "You're really going to let me run you out of your own yard?"
I remained silent.
He gave a scoff. "Damn it, my head's starting to hurt again." his fists tightened. "You reminded me of someone. Maybe I…maybe I'm wrong. You don't recognize me…what the hell am I missing?" He looked up at me, shooting daggers. "Tell me why I was so happy when I heard you say you were looking for Syaoran." His eyes flashed dangerously. "Tell me why your name makes me sick to my stomach?" his questions were like demands.
I hesitated and debated whether I should have ran at that moment. My hand hurt from the impact of his jaw. However, all I could ask was "Your name really is Syaoran?"
"Damn it! I told you it was." He gave me one more withering look before turning away. "Waste of time…"
He left me standing alone, while he went out the front gate.
I didn't believe he was Syaoran. It couldn't have been him. But he had held me in such a warm embrace that thinking back to it, my heart wanted to cry.
It turned out that the hot bath didn't actually help me at all. In fact, for all of the next week, I had to force myself to get up and attend school. Dad wasn't around much, but I had begun to think that Touya was suspicious of why I was ignoring him. I was glad that we hardly ate meals together because of his university courses taking up most of his time. Usually, I just prepared dinner for when he came home. Except, I didn't know how long I would have until Touya found out that I was sick. I didn't have time to stay at home and get better either, so the cold seemed only to get worse.
I hated the idea of catching up on homework and I was pretty sure that my cold wasn't all that bad yet. All I needed was some long rest and that would be easily accomplished, as spring break was coming up in a few days. I just had to be careful that I didn't give my sickness to anyone else.
I suppose you're all wondering why I'm ignoring the topic of… Li. Ever since that week ago, I've seen him a few times in the halls. He seemed happy enough. In fact, he seemed quite happy during the times I saw him. It made me think that he really did find his happiness. He had probably made a mistake in thinking it was me.
A part of me had wanted to believe him. His name was also Syaoran? It just didn't make sense. It couldn't have been a coincidence, but he just left after I called him a liar...after I had physically punched him. Syaoran wouldn't have given up that easily, would he have? I couldn't however, deny the fact that he was looking for someone. The question he asked me was still fresh in my head.
Tell me why I was so happy when I heard you say you were looking for Syaoran?
I wonder why he had thought I was his happiness, although he seemed to have already forgotten about the whole thing. At times, I wanted to approach him and ask him what was making him smile that warmly, but my guilt would always stop me. I still hadn't spoken to Eriol since that day and I went out of my way to stay out of his when I did catch glimpse of him.
There really isn't much else to say, besides that I had been going back to the garden square to just think. Never was Li there. The rumours about my creative writing skills were still lying dormant and I was wondering when someone would say something about it towards me. It almost made me smile to think Li had helped me with that.
It really was the end of my journey. After everything that had happened, I had nothing to show for it.
As I gathered my books, I started to make my way out of the school, but stopped when I heard familiar voices from the courtyard.
"Syaoran is a really nice name. I never knew that was your first name. It suits you."
The name tugged at my heart strings and I realized that Li was having a conversation with another girl. Why did he have to share the same name as my Syaoran?
"Syaoran-kun? Could I ask you-"
"Stop it."
"Wha- Syaoran-kun?…"
I wanted to leave, but my feet wouldn't allow it. I couldn't see them, but I could hear.
"Don't call me that." his voice was so cold that it made me frown at the way he was treating the girl.
"But why not? It's your name. Syaoran-kun, I wanted to tell you that I like you. I really like you."
I heard a small sigh.
"I told you to stop it. My name's Li. If you don't have anything better to say, I'm leaving."
At this point, he must have rose and started walking away because the next thing I heard was "Wait!" then a slight gasp.
I thought the girl had probably just latched herself onto Li and was given one of his death glares.
"Let me go. I don't want to have to say it again. I'm not interested ."
I heard a small sound that sounded like a whimper and then the next thing I knew Li was brushing past me. I'm not sure if he saw me, but again my chest felt constricted. I was unable to deny it this time. Li had said what only one person would ever cruelly say.
What only Syaoran would say.
So many times he had reminded me of Syaoran.
Without another thought I ran to catch up with him.
Why had I been so blind? What did it matter that Li was nothing like the Syaoran I once knew? That didn't give me the right to reject him.
He…he has to be Syaoran.
Past
"I've never seen your house before Syaoran. I think it'll be fun."
Syaoran didn't say anything.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters? Probably not…"
Syaoran gave her a careful look. "How do you know that?"
"Because Syaoran always seems to be so…" Sakura trailed off. "Are we getting close?"
Syaoran took Sakura's hand in his. "Hey, I don't want to go home yet. Lets go play in the park." he yanked on her hand.
"But, I want to see your house." Sakura yanked back.
"Why? Don't you like the flowers in the garden square? I don't have any flowers at my house. Stop pulling!"
"I'm not." she answered in a strained voice. "I've never met your mommy or daddy either. I want to see Syaoran's family."
"There's no one to say hi to. The house is boring. Besides, you'll probably just get lost. Come to the park and we'll play hide and seek if you want."
Sakura shook her head, trying to pull her hand from his grasp. "I won't get lost, you'll be with me." she stopped suddenly as realization struck. "Lost? Do you have a really big house Syaoran? We can play hide and seek there!"
Syaoran groaned at his big mouth. "Fine. You go then." He dropped Sakura's hand without feeling. "I'm leaving."
Sakura watched Syaoran walk off in the other direction and half expected him to come back so they could go to his house together. He didn't even look back once.
"Syaoran!"
He still continued and soon she could see his form disappearing behind the corner. Relenting, Sakura ran after him.
"Syaoran?" she bounded the corner, but he wasn't in sight. "Syaoran? Come out, I don't want to play hide and seek now. Are you mad? Syoaran!" Sakura felt guilty now at pulling on Syaoran's hand. "Syaoran! I'm sorry! I won't force you to do anything again!"
Out of nowhere, Syaoran flew down and landed beside Sakura. A look of superior suspicion dancing in his eyes. "You always do that."
Sakura jumped as she spun around to face the voice. Looking up, she saw a large tree that Syaoran had jumped out from. Turning her attention back at him, she grew uneasy. "Do what?"
"That sorry thing. I mean, geeze, it makes people feel guilty."
"Guilty?"
"Yeah, guilty." he flicked her gently on the forehead. "You say it without even thinking. Stop and think if it was actually your fault would you? I was pulling you too, stupid."
Sakura didn't say anything and Syaoran grew curious. "Hey, if you start crying, we better go somewhere else. If Touya sees you…" Syaoran cringed at the possibilities. "I'll get in trouble."
Sakura shook her head, careful with her words. "I don't think sorry is a bad word."
"It's not…it just is when it comes from you. Anyways, who cares, stop thinking about it. The world needs people like you to balance out people like me."
Sakura followed Syaoran to the garden square park. "Syaoran?"
"What now?" he eyed the swing. "You got the swing last time. This time I get it, got it?"
"No, not that. I wanted to tell you that I like you Syaoran."
Syaoran blinked, taking an awkward step away from Syaoran. "Whaa…what are you talking about?"
"I like you." she said simply. "And I want you to be happy."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Syaoran looked to the ground.
"I get sad when I'm lonely sometimes. I know you don't want me playing at your house, but if you feel lonely like me sometimes." Sakura smiled warmly. "I can come visit you like you visit me. When Syaoran is happy…it makes me happy."
Syaoran tried to open his mouth then, to tell his friend why he didn't want her over. But before he had a chance, the serious Sakura changed back into her happy self. She ran to the swing.
"Hey, get off that! I always push you. Let me on!"
Sakura just laughed. "Syaoran, you're hair matches the cherry blossoms."
Touching his hair, Syaoran blushed. Earlier today, he had let Sakura dye his hair pink.
The warm, happy colour of Sakura.
He loved that colour.
Syaoran supposed Sakura could have the swing if it was just today…
Present
"Li-san!" I half expected him to be up in a tree by the time I ran to the bus curb. I waited until he noticed me and stopped.
The surprise on his face was there and I didn't know how to take it. If he was Syaoran, I just wanted him to have the happiness that would make me happy.
Out of breath, I looked up at him. "I know it's wrong of me after what I said, but please, if you really are Syaoran…could I ask you a few questions?"
"What?" his voice was hostile. "What questions?"
"I mean, why weren't you ever able to recall who I-" I stopped. No, that's not what I wanted to say. I couldn't cause him anymore headaches. I could only make sure he continued to smile. Sighing, I asked, "Did you know someone named Sakura?
He swallowed. "How many times do I have to say it? I don't know! Damn, leave me alone." he sighed and lifted his hand to his temple. "One after another..." he growled.
I blushed despite myself. "You said you found your happiness that day. Why?"
Li looked down at me. "Why?" he repeated.
I had to tilt my head back quite far in order to look right into his eyes. "You were happy…at seeing me?"
His eyes narrowed. "I thought you were the person I grew up with. I was wrong."
I shook my head at that. "No! I am Sakura. Sakura Kinomoto!"
"Kinomoto…" he echoed as if the familiarity was starting to set in.
His distance made me wince. I was hurting him.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you who I was. I don't want to see you unhappy, but at first I couldn't believe that you were Syaoran. I know I was just trying to block you out and it was wrong. You can be angry if you want. I understand. I really didn't mean to hit you."
"You…" he started, with a tone in his voice I couldn't make out. "Why now? You probably still don't know if I really am this person you're searching for. What is this? Wishful thinking? Just because you ruined it with Eriol doesn't mean I should be next in line."
His words stung like nothing I had ever felt. This was Syaoran…never in my life had I heard such words directed at me and by the one who had protected me. It hurt to think that before I'd even known he was Syaoran, he had already made a habit of treating me like that. "This is how Tomoyo-chan must have felt…" I didn't want to cry in front of Syaoran. Not when I knew he would just laugh.
I swallowed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think that. I-I just wanted to tell you who I was. I felt like I owed that to you for causing you to remember me."
Syaoran remained immobile. Yet he continued to look down at me in a solemn way. I wondered if he thought I was lying to him. I didn't blame him. When he told me who he was, I must have done the same thing. I had rejected him.
I bit my lip and turned around so I could hide my emotional face. "Li-san. I told you once that I wanted you to be happy. Because whenever you used to smile, it made happy. Nothing's changed." I ran without looking back. In my heart, I was glad that I got out what I wanted to say.
It was quite a while until I allowed myself to slow down. I felt like swooning. I suppose I might have been more sick than I originally thought. My legs wanted to give out right at that moment.
But as I slowed my pace back down to a stumble, a pair of warm arms embraced me in a familiar clasp.
My eyes widened at the contact and I dropped my bag as I crashed into something hard. The person's warmth smothered me.
"Damn...If you want me to be happy, don't move."
I was speechless as I stood there on the street, unable to have moved if earth itself were ending. He had ran after me. The idea left me in amazement. He had chased after me?
I wanted to bring my hands to my face and cover it, but his embrace locked my arms to my side. My tears came out without warning and wouldn't stop.
The funny part was that I had never been so happy in my entire life.
"I don't know who you are, but seeing you're face...it has to be you."
He loosened his embrace and gently spun me around to face him. I brought the back of my hand to my face, rubbing away my tears. I couldn't see his expression, but I was surprised to feel his lips brush against the crown of my head. I wanted to bury my head against the ruffles of his uniform.
He didn't ask me to stop crying, just continued to comfort me.
It was then, I think that my feelings for Syaoran changed into something else.
Finally, Li slowly released me from his grasp, gently prying my hands from my face. I began to protest, turning from him quickly, in order to take off my glasses and rub the redness from my eyes.
"I'm sorry, I still have that handkerchief you gave me. I'll return it to you tomorrow." I wiped my eyes with my right sleeve.
"I don't need it. You keep it." He gently forced me to face him, placing a finger under my chin and lifting my entire face to meet his thoughtful gaze. "You look more familiar without those glasses of yours."
"I don't look familiar with them?" I was too shocked by his soft tone that I didn't know whether to feel offended.
His eyes looked pained. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. "
A quiet sob choked its way out of my throat. "I don't think…I've ever heard you say 'sorry' before."
He gave a small smile. "I never had to." his hand went to the back of my head, pushing me back to his chest. "I'm so sorry." he said in a raspy voice.
I moved closer to him. I couldn't believe I had found Syaoran. "I didn't recognize you. I always thought Eriol was…" my voice trailed. His heat was making me light headed. "I'm sorry."
"No." he answered forcefully. "Eriol isn't. Forget about him. "
I felt so hot.
"If you still like him, I won't try to get in your way anymore. But,"
I clung to Li as the streets and the cars began to swirl.
"Even after I treated you like I did, would you stay- Sakura?"
Someone was shaking me, calling my name.
"Sakura! Sakura!"
When I woke, I found myself on a warm bed. Taking a deep breath, I realized the covers smelt different. I forced my eyes open and saw that I was enveloped in the darkness. Even then, I could sense that this wasn't my room.
As I stopped to gather my thoughts, the door opened and I was startled to see Li enter the room with a small bowl of water. A small face towel hung from the edge of the bowl. What made me turn red however, was the fact that his white shirt was left opened for the world to see his stomach. I had to force myself to look away.
"Good, you're awake."
I looked around the room, feeling oddly at ease. "This is your house Li-san?"
He frowned as he took a seat at the edge of the bed. "Yes, and stop calling me that…it's creepy."
I looked at him as he dipped the towel into the bowl, most of his torso covered now because of his position. "You told me you liked being called that."
His answer was awkward. "That was before I-just stop it. I don't like it." He compressed out the excess water, and ordered me to lay back down.
Doing just that, I said "It's hard for me to change now. It's been so long since I used Syaoran." I stopped to take everything in. "I can't believe it's really you. I can't believe it." I was still in shock, unable to smile though I wanted to. It was all I wanted to do.
He was quiet for a time as he pressed the cloth to my forehead. It's warmth made me snuggle deeper into the bed. He must have decided not to say anything regarding my comment.
"Is this your bed?"
"Maybe." He placed the small bowl on the small dresser.
"Li-" I corrected myself "Syaoran…"
He relented. "Yes."
As if he knew what my actions were going to be, he placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me from getting up.
"It's okay. I took you to my house. You can use my bed. I want you to."
I allowed myself to stay on the bed, but was aware of the fact that I couldn't relax. I didn't understand why my heart hurt so much as I looked at Li. In the dark, I noticed that he looked like he had just come out of the shower. His hair appeared to be slightly wet.
"You're shirt's not buttoned." I mumbled.
"My shir-" he looked down and shrugged. "You've seen worse of me." he leaned in so he could lower his voice. "You've even seen me naked a few times, haven't you Sakura?"
I blushed, though I could not deny his claims. "We were kids." I argued, covering my face to not only hide my blush, but to keep him safe from my germs. I 'shooed' him away with one free hand. In the back of my mind, I wanted to smile at the idea that he had recalled a memory. "You're going to catch what I have." It sounded odd for Li to call me by my name. He usually just settled for You there! Brat! or Dummy!
He sat back up. "That's not good. You better get well. Don't you want to spend time with me?"
I bolted up immediately. "I do! I really do!"
He blinked in surprise.
Flustered, I picked up the small towel that fell from my face the moment I had sat up.
After the lapse of astonishment left his face, Li took the face towel from my hands and dipped it back in the bowl. "Stop making sudden movements if you want to get better faster." his voice held irritation, but I noticed something else in his tone too. He gave me a short glance from the corner of his eyes. "The water's cold, I'll be right back."
But as he started to stand, my hand grew a mind of it's own, tugging on his shirt sleeve. He turned to me in what I thought was worry.
"It's okay, I'm fine. Could you stay with me? Until I fall back asleep? You can leave when I do."
He didn't seem to know how to answer for a second, but nodding, Li sat back down on the bed. "Fine, hurry up. Sleep."
I smiled. "Could I hold your hand?"
"What?" he couldn't hide his embarrassment this time. "Why?"
"You used to hold my hand when I was sick. It made me happy." I held out my hand, in a weak gesture. My head was pounding and I sniffled.
Li looked aggrieved as he laced his hand into mine. "I-I still can't remember some things."
I just looked at him. "Does being with me make your head hurt?"
I felt slightly guilty and hurt when he didn't answer me.
"Go to bed. I'll be here."
I nodded, too tired to question him further.
My eyes closed soon after.
After all this time, I finally found Syaoran. I hope everything remains like this. And even if he can't recall our past, I'm sure we'll make new memories in the future.
To be continued…
Yay! They're together now! I like happy moments, don't you? I hope I didn't rush things though. It was believable that Sakura recalled Syaoran after he rejected that girl right? Maybe, there was a connection! Oh Syaoran, remember everything soon for Sakura won't you?
(Syaoran pulls Sakura in a warm hug: Hey! This is a relationship in the making. Give me some time to win her over!)
-silent wanderer