Hello, hello. Yes, well...School is hard neh? So many exams! Well I'm going to go finish my homework before violin. Thanks for your support and don't forget to leave a review for this little writer. .

P.s I had no idea that writers weren't allowed to answer any questions in the author's note...hehe oops! bad me...so yes yes, no more doing that. Just know I would if I could. (Thanks for pointing it out Majah! heh, I'm so oblivious.)

Stray Memories

Part IV

"What the hell are you doing? Go back to bed!" Li ran out the bedroom door, shutting it in my face.

Picking up my bag, I pulled at the doorknob. Unfortunately, he was still pushing. "Let me out! I have to go to school. I can't miss classes. I can rest when I get back home. Li-san!"

He growled behind the door. "Shut up! Stop calling me that!" he made a soft grunt as he pushed back against me, closing shut the door. "Go to bed."

I shook my head, though he was unable to see. Turning the knob, I pushed as hard as I could. The door still wouldn't budge. Li's weight must have been pushed against it.

"You're just going to hurt yourself. Go to bed. You can go to school when you feel better." he sighed. "Brat…this is how you treat people who actually take the time to care?"

"I feel fine." I called from behind the door. "Let me out. I still haven't phoned Touya to tell him where I was last night."

"I phoned him. " He groaned. "Stop charging against the door like that! You're going to hurt yourself!"

"But my homework. What did Touya say? He'll be suspicious."

"I'll go pick it up for you." he called from the barrier that was blocking me from freedom. "Just give me your schedule." He ignored the latter question regarding my brother. "This is as nice as I'm going to get, so either give me it, or I'm leaving."

"I can't. Open the door."

"No way in hell. Just slip the paper underneath the door."

I sighed and did as he asked.

"See, what are friends for. Now go back to bed. I locked the door from the outside so you can't get out. Don't try."

I didn't reply. Why did he have to keep that stubborn trait of his?

"I'm going now. If you need anything, someone will be around later to attend to you. Don't lunge at them when they open the door. Sleep well Sakura."

I clamped my lips tightly together, to resist saying goodbye. Even after what he did, it was difficult for me to stay angry.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye?"

My lips clamped tighter.

"Geeze, don't be angry Sakura. You know you need to get some rest. Fine if you don't want to say it, knock two times." it was a moment before he added "It would make me really happy."

I could hear the smirk in his voice as if he was amused. Despite myself, my hand went into a fist.

I knocked twice.

It was noon when I'd reawakened. Someone had opened the curtains and the bright light felt warm and nice as I adjusted to the brightness. Getting up from the bed, I decided I wanted to look around Li's room. I smiled mischieviously, completely understanding that I was really too nosy for my own good.

It was so plain and empty.

A small dresser near the bed. Nothing except a small white clock on it. Curious, I went to the closet and opened the sliding door. A large walk in closet with more clothes, shoes and other accessories. I must have owned less than half of what he had in there. I closed the overwhelming closet and noticed the long white desk in the corner of the room. A few papers and a lap top. The walls were white and bare. No paintings. A blue recliner sat in the middle of the room. That was it.

I walked towards the connected bathroom and flicked on the lights. A toothbrush, a rinsing cup, a few towels and quite clean. And just as empty.

I didn't know what to expect. This was the first time I had ever seen Li's house.

The door opened then, and I half expected Li to come strolling in. Maybe that was what I hoped. Instead, a young lady in some odd uniform, came in holding a set of neatly folded garments.

She smiled when she saw me. "You must be Kinomoto-san? Your lunch is prepared for you downstairs. I'll draw a bath while you eat and here are some clothes you can change into after."

I blinked at her formality. "Please, Sakura would suffice. Who are you?" did Li actually have his own maid?

"I'm Rina."

"It's nice to meet you Rina-san. But really, you don't have to prepare the bath. I can manage myself." I took away the burden of carrying the clothes from her arms.

"No, no. You are our guest." she began to usher me out of the room. "Go ahead and eat."

"Oh…okay." I allowed myself to be pushed out and what I saw caught my breath.

Hallways and hallways of rooms. I crossed across the carpet and walked to the railing. Looking down, the floors sparkled and the glass windows shone with the sun's rays, drenching the house with a warm natural atmosphere. I walked to what was probably the main staircase and awkwardly walked down the steps. There was an elderly man at the bottom that smiled up at me.

"This way to the dining room miss."

It was just as extravagant as I thought it would be. A crystal chandelier hung from the high ceiling. The table was shorter than I expected, round in shape. I wondered whether this was their only dining room. If it wasn't for the food on the table, I would have kept examining the house. Being hungry, however, I took a seat, thanked the man profusely and immediately dug in.

Is this why Li never took me to his house? He had said it was big, but it was also overwhelming. Where was everyone? It seemed to big for him to live by himself.

"Please. Once you change into these new clothes, you'll feel much better. Allow me to get rid of your old garments."

The young lady from before gathered my uniform.

"No, it's okay. I still need it for school."

"But miss. They are dirty. Would you like us to clean it for you at the very least?"

I tugged at them and she tugged back. "No, really. I'll take it home and do it myself." I was currently in a bath robe. "I can't accept these clothes." and really I couldn't. The moment I had examined them, I thought they were too...different from me. A soft creamy, long sleeved knit top and a dress that was a warm chocolate. Not frilly, but pleated. Just looking at it made me feel self-conscious. It was modest and I could see that it wouldn't be too tight, but it was unnerving to picture myself in it.

The lady tugged harder at my uniform. "Master Li said to take care of everything. Please, get some more rest miss. I will be up with some tea later on."

"M-master Li?"

When I stopped tugging, she was able to untangle the clothes from my fingers. "Yes. Before he left, he instructed the whole household to make sure you were comfortable. Please, he expects you to rest." She smiled. "You seem pale. I will bring the tea up immediately." she left with my uniform.

Master Li?

She had said it like everyone in the household listened to him. Did that make him the head of the house? Where were his parents? It was a stupid question. They were probably at work at this time. But it was such a big house. Wasn't he ever lonely? Even being as popular as he was, Li didn't make it a habit to make friends and spend his time with others. Why?

As I decided it was better than wearing a robe, I grudgingly pulled on the clothes left for me.

I looked at his room again. Why was the room so empty? Why had he not wanted me to visit him at his house? Everyone in the household was extremely courteous and kind. So why? Why did Li have to isolate himself from the world?

As a child I hadn't thought much about it, but still I had always wondered.

If dad hadn't introduced us that day, would Li have accepted me later on?

Past

"Sakura? Would you like to make a new friend?"

Sakura looked up at her father. His warm eyes smiled in that fatherly way. She nodded, enjoying the sparkle in his eyes.

"See the young boy over there?"

"Standing by that man?"

"Yes." Fujitaka nodded. "He's going to go to the same school as you from now on. It's scary when you start at a new school without friends, isn't it?"

"I think so." she answered thoughtfully, studying the young boy. His eyes were a warm chestnut, but they were hesitant. He was wearing the same elementary uniform she was. But what made her smile, was his hair. It was blue. It seemed to clash with his eyes.

"Do you think you two could walk to school together? I think he would like it if Sakura showed him around."

"Okay!" Sakura replied earnestly. "Do you know him daddy?"

Fujitaka smiled at his daughter's enthusiasm. "His parents are close friends of mine. That man beside him is taking care of him, like a babysitter. But would you like to take over?"

Sakura nodded, determinedly. "I can take care of him! We can be friends."

"That's good. He doesn't like to talk much. Maybe Sakura can understand him?"

Sakura blinked and looked at the boy again. This time he raised his gaze to meet hers. Smiling, she waved. He seemed genuinely surprised and gave almost what was a slight nod of acknowledgement before looking back to the ground.

"Okay, go ahead Sakura. I know you'll make a good friend to Syaoran-kun."

"Syaoran-kun." she repeated, smiling at its sound.

She waved to her father and approached the tentative boy. "Syaoran-kun. Let's walk to school together. I'll show you around the school!. It's a nice place." she put out a hand. "We'll go together."

Something about her soft assurance made Syaoran accept her offer. He was however, too shy to take the hand she was offering. So instead, she seemed to understand his hesitation, taking it upon herself to introduce who she was.

"My name is Sakura Kinomoto."

"Sakura?"

She nodded. "Sa-ku-ra. That's right. Let's be friends, alright Syaoran-kun?"

He was surprised at her kindness. "I don't need friends." was all he could make out.

She shook her head. "It's okay. I can still be your friend."

And as they walked to school, this girl named Sakura continued to look at him with the happy mirth in her eyes. He liked her smile. She didn't care who he was or bother to ask him about things he didn't want to answer in order to fill the silence. All she did, was talk about their interests and the memories they would create not regarding her or his past, but their future.

Present

"I'm back! Sakura!" Li gave a slight sigh as practically the whole household came to greet him. It almost looked like he was blushing too, at the idea that maybe I had been bombarded like him.

"Master Li, you are back. How was your day? Would you like anything to eat?"

"No, I'm fine Rina-san. Where's Sakura?"

"She said she would like to explore the house. I saw no harm in allowing her to do so."

"She went off by herself? I thought she was supposed to be in bed"

"I didn't have the heart to lock the door on her. I'm sorry master Li." Rina smiled, giving back the key to his room. "I was about to accompany her, but she insisted to be alone. Should I have done different?"

I watched the bustle of the house through the staircase railing and was crouched down to avoid being seen.

Li looked restless. "No, it's fine. I'm going to get something to drink. Then I'll go find her."

"As you wish, master Li. Would you like me to get it for you?"

"Nah, it's fine. You should have gotten someone else to lock the door on her." he mumbled.

I could feel myself twitching at Li's words as I watched him drop his bag by the door and walk towards the kitchen.

Earlier, I had tried to go back to bed, but I was unable to sleep. I was no longer sniffling as bad as before and I was thankful that my headaches were gone. After sipping the tea, Rina-san had given me, I had asked to look around Li's house. It didn't surprise me that the house was like a mansion, but as I went around to examine each room and hallway, I could easily tell which ones were the ones that Li spent most of his time in. They were the plain, empty ones. The rest of the house were decorated with roses and other exotic flowers. Paintings covered the bare walls and were painted with warm swarthy colours other than just the ordinary white Li had in his rooms.

I lingered while inspecting those rooms because they meant more to me when they were the ones Li liked.

Moving my position so I could catch glimpse of the opening of the kitchen, I gripped the railings and continued to watch the household. There were now less people in the house than there were in the morning. Most of the cleaning was already done and the help had left.

It still amazed me that Li lived in this house. I didn't know as much about Syaoran as I thought.

"What-the-hell-are-you-doing?"

I turned my head and looked up to see an un-amused Li. "Li-san!" I stood up abruptly, guilty at spying.

He looked at me with changed eyes then. At first I wasn't aware at what he was looking at, but then I looked down at my clothes.

"It looks weird, doesn't it?"

He stared a little longer. "No. It's fine. You look nice." he gave a short smile. And I couldn't help but smile back.

Li's smiles were rare and precious to me.

"Yay! Li-san smiled."

Li frowned, looking away. "What are you talking about. I smile all the time." he held up his bag. "Your books are making my bag heavy. And-" he eyed me. "Why are you out of bed? I told you to rest! Damn, I can't leave you alone for one second."

As I took out my books, I almost laughed. After taking out my stuff, his bag held practically nothing. "Li-san? Where are your books?"

"Huh?" he looked down at his bag. "Oh, I made Eriol carry them. I guess I forgot to get them back. Bastard probably didn't remind me on purpose." he glared at me, and grabbed my arm. "Stop changing the subject. Go to bed." he tugged me to his room.

"You and Eriol-kun are good friends aren't you?"

"Yeah, I guess. Kind of a stupid guy, but whatever, we get along fine."

I hated to think of how he used to describe me as his friend.

"Did you have a good day at school Li-san?"

"No. It was boring and people are annoying." he dragged me into his room and tilted his head towards me. "How do you feel?"

"Very well. Everyone was really kind to me. I think I can go back to school tomorrow."

"I see." he replied, as if angry at my declaration. "Sakura?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you hear what I said to you yesterday? Before you fainted in the street?"

I stopped to think. "No, I don't think I remember. What did you say?"

He looked slightly grieved. "Nothing. I'll tell you later. Go to bed"

I shook my head. "Li-san, I think I should get back home now. I have a lot of homework to do. I'm really grateful to you though. I'm not that tired right now, so I'll take a nap if I feel like it later." I hoped all those excuses would convince him to let me go.

He sighed. "Did you get to see everything you wanted? You've never been at my house before so I don't know what kind of impression you received."

He definitely was able to read me like a book. "Li-san…I don't know why we've never played in your house before. It's very nice and big like you said."

"I told you it was big?"

"Yes, and I wanted to play hide and seek with you in it. Except we went to play in the garden square instead."

"I can't remember that." he answered curtly.

My eyes clouded. What was I doing, reminding Li of his past? Even if I wanted to confront him about why he likes to be alone so much, I had no right to ask him that. Not when I didn't know how much I meant to him. Although Li meant more to me than anything in the world, he still didn't truly know who I was. All he really knew was that I had been a childhood friend of his in the past and in some way, I had meant something to him. Until he was comfortable again, I couldn't bother him about the past or say anything to make him feel hurt.

I was still one of those people who his parents thought would bring him bad memories.

"S-sorry. Li-san, I'm going to go now okay? I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"You shouldn't walk by yourself. You're still sick."

"It's okay! I want to get better, so I can spend more time with Li-san right? Don't worry. I'll get better for sure!"

He looked at me. "You haven't changed that much have you?" he walked up to me and slowly wrapped his arms around me.

I however, could only stand there in his embrace, awkwardly.

"I'm glad you were looking for me. And I'm happy I found you."

"Yep!" I tried to sound as happy as I could. "You always could." I flinched as I made another reference to the past.

"I wanted to tell you sorry again…for treating you like I did."

Alarm filled my throat. "No! you didn't know who I was. I like you the way you are. You don't have to change Li-san."

He released me, ruffling my hair. "Okay, go ahead, I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded and gave a small wave as I walked out the room and out the house.

I felt so happy. I couldn't wait to spend more time with Li. It made my cold feel like nothing.

The next morning, I opened the door of our house to find the young lady that had been so helpful at the Li mansion.

"Rina-san?"

She smiled. "You forgot your uniform yesterday. I was told to deliver it back to you."

I looked at what she was holding. It looked brand new. "Rina-san, are you sure this one's mine. I don't remember-"

"Master Li thought it was better to buy you a new uniform after seeing yours yesterday. I hope you are not angry."

"Oh, no I just wished he hadn't gone to the trouble. Please, how much did it cost?"

"Master Li specified that the cost was taken care of and for you to enjoy." she smiled and gave me the new clothes. "I must take my leave now. Have a nice day Sakura-san."

I closed the door and stared at the gift I was given. Uniforms weren't exactly cheap.

"Who was that?" Touya stepped out of the kitchen, a newspaper in his hand. "Is that new? Wow, are people just handing out uniforms now?"

"It's a gift from Li-san. I'm going to pay him back though."

"Li-san? Who's that?"

I shook my head. "Syaoran. I left my old uniform at his house yesterday and he bought me this new one."

"Ohhh…the gaki. I was surprised when I got his phone call." Touya glared at me. "Stop hanging around him. I thought he was gone for good. How did you find him?"

"Touya! It's been so long since I last saw him. He still doesn't remember much of his past. You know he was my close friend. He remembers me now."

My brother just frowned. "Well you can just go and tell him that I don't like what he's doing and I don't approve of it." he rolled his eyes. "And I know what he's doing."

"Onii-san?"

"But," he continued. "Since he phoned to tell me where you were last night, I'm going to give him one chance and he better not screw it up."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh he'll know what I'm saying. And you!"

I jumped. "What!"

He pointed an accusing finger at me. "Don't spend the night at his house anymore. Monsters and head cases like him don't mix."

"He's not a head case!"

"So that means you're still a monster?"

"I didn't say that!" I was about ready to throw a shoe. "I'm going to go change."

"Are you sure the clothes will fit you?" he called up the stairs. "Unless he was smart and ordered monster clothes!"

I could hear his cackles all the way up the stairs.

My face fell when I stepped through the back gates of my school. It occurred to me then that I would no longer have the comfortable feeling of being invisible. Not if I was going to spend time with Li. Then again, I didn't actually stop and ask him if he wanted my company during school time. I wanted very much to spend my time with Li, but there was no doubt in my mind that that would cause unwanted attention for me. Li was too popular…too handsome for his own good.

I blushed at the thought. This had been happening too frequently ever since the first time he had held me in his arms. I didn't like the thought of my liking him turn into my loving him. If he ever found out, I was sure it would make our relationship awkward. I knew I would have to hide it from him. And maybe the feeling would go away. Besides, it was probably the idea of such a handsome person embracing me that was making me feel this way.

As soon as I took my first step around the corner of the school, in order to enter through the main door, (I always came from the back and made my way around to the front because the front gates were always crowded by the students in the morning.) I noticed Li leaning against a large tree just by the gate. He probably thought I would enter that way.

It was a horrible idea on his part as I laughed silently in my head. Not only was his just standing there stirring up attention, but Eriol was standing right next to him with that warm smile on his face, almost inviting the girls to approach them.

I pitied Li, but I hesitated to walk towards them. I hated crowds and if I did approach Li and Eriol, people would probably start wondering why I was allowed to talk to them so easily. My heart raced at the thought of the rumours that would spread. However, my conscious was kicking in at this time and I wondered how long Li would continue to stand there.

I decided to make my move. It would be wrong to leave him standing there. Stealthily, I slipped into the crowd, more uncomfortable than anything. I could sense Li's apprehension even from a metre away. He was going to explode any second and even if it was me tapping him lightly, he would have thought it was someone else in his rage.

How could I get his attention!

"Li-san!" it was no use of course, everyone was calling out the same thing, rather they were calling Li-kun, but in the crowd, it all sounded the same. Before I knew what was happening, a person elbowed me hard to take my place and I stepped back in surprise. I wanted to cry…why was this so difficult? Another girl pushed against my shoulder to propel her forward and this time I fell to the ground.

I cringed at my skinned knee. I couldn't get my new uniform dirty! It had been a present…I forced myself to get up quickly, looking up suddenly when I felt a warm hand wrap around my upper arm.

Ah! No…

"Li-san, wait!" I pulled my arm from him and his death glare grew all the more intense. "Pretend you don't know me." I whispered. "I just wanted to tell you, you don't have to wait for me anymore by the gates. I better go." I shot to my feet.

"Sakura!" he called me back and as I continued to run away, I could almost feel the anger that radiated from him. I just hoped he wouldn't vent it out on the crowd.

How were we ever going to spend our time together if it was going to be like this?

"What the hell was that this morning!" Li slammed his hand against my now empty homeroom classroom and caused it to close shut with a loud piercing crash.

I jumped at his abrupt greeting. The lunch bell had already rang and as I was collecting my books, I was wondering why the whole class had left in such a hurry. Most of the class usually ate their lunches in class. It was only when they were all evacuated and Li came charging in that I realized why everyone had left.

I was somewhat glad that I knew this was Syaoran or else just knowing it was Li would've scared me.

"You're s-still angry?" I asked.

He crossed the room to me. "I was kind enough to wait for you this morning and when I see you, you're lying with your face flat on the concrete. Then I come to help and all you can say is 'pretend you don't know me'! Are you stupid!" he stared at my surprised face. "You..." he narrowed his eyes. "are too oblivious."

I opened my mouth to respond when the door reopened and I was surprised to see Eriol come walking in with two large trays of food.

"Hello Sakura-chan. How are you today?" he turned his un-amused look to Li. "And you… shut up would you? The whole school can hear you outside the door." he placed a tray two desks away from mine and placed his own tray closer to me. "That far one's yours." he said to Li.

"Eriol-kun…"

Eriol looked up at me with kind eyes, reaching out to ruffle my hair. "Now then, today I will eat lunch with Sakura-chan. Let's forget all about what happened the last time we talked okay? We'll start fresh."

I smiled at him.

Li didn't say anything, but made a big production of sitting down in his chair.

"Ignore him Sakura-chan. I didn't tell him anything that went between us that night."

I blushed at Eriol's comment. I could tell he was making it sound like something else had happened and Li's fist shook.

"Who said I wanted to know?" Li scoffed from behind. "Like I care about what you do."

"He's just angry Sakura-chan. He was very happy this morning, waiting for you to come and jump into his arms. It just didn't work out that way, that's why he's so-"

His control broke then. "Can you shut up!" Li yelled, ready to throw his chopsticks at Eriol.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. Don't get angry. I don't usually come in through the front gate. I'm not very good with crowds." I fidgeted with my fingers. "You two are so popular and crowds are always with you. If someone like me begins to spend time with both of you, others will start to talk, won't they?"

I looked up at the two unreadable faces.

Finally, Li heaved a sigh. "Who told you to spend time with Eriol? It's just me you're supposed to spend time with." he placed his chopsticks down on his plate and rested his chin on the palm of his propped up arm. "I don't like crowds either, but let them talk if they want. You said you wanted to spend time with me right? Are you going to let them get in your way?"

"I thought you said being seen together wouldn't help your image."

He tossed me a dark glare. "Well now that I'm giving your permission, stop complaining."

I blinked and sighed. He was right. I might not have been able to interrupt Li's life or hinder his popularity, but if he said it was okay, then I would do my best to make him happy. It was because I didn't know all of him yet. I didn't know what made him happy or sad because of how much time we had spent apart. But I wanted to know. He was still capable of kindness and I wanted to show him that same kindness in return.

"If Li-san thinks it's okay, then I'll try harder."

Eriol seemed to amused at hearing this because his smile grew larger. "Li-san? That's one I hardly ever hear. And to think…I only get a -kun."

I shook my head. "Li-san told me he liked it better than Li-kun because it gave more respect and-"

"Shut up!" Li frowned . "I told you to stop calling me that. Try harder to change that too. It's weird coming from you. You never called me...that." he shot Eriol a look as if to silence him from any comment he was going to make. "Spring break starts tomorrow. There aren't going to be that many crowds we have to deal with."

I nodded. The idea of spending time alone with Li made me happy.

"You're not still sick are you? You look a little red, Are you burning up again?" Eriol tossed me a look of half worry, half amusement.

"I, no I'm fine. Li-san took care of me." I had thought I was doing a good job in hiding my blush. I suppose not.

I watched as Li's fists began to tighten all over again.

Eriol placed a hand over the side of his mouth as he leaned in towards my ear. "If you call him that anymore, you're going to condemn his next class to his wrath. You should try making him happy Sakura-chan. Then he'll be in a happy mood and his next class will be thankful." he stood up and picked up his tray. "Okay, well I'm going to leave you two alone for now." he winked at me in encouragement as he let himself out the room.

"Sakura…"

I snapped my thoughts back to Li.

"I think if I spend more time with you, I'll start to recover my memory. Over the break, would you show me some of the places we used to go to?"

"Places?" I smiled. "Uh, even I can't recall some of them."

"I don't need to see them all. I think being with you will be enough"

My heart felt warm. "Okay, I'll do my best!"

He nodded and started to stand. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon." he caught the look of uneasiness I had on my face. "You worry too much. I won't bother you so much during school, but I don't care what others say, so I won't care whether or not you want to see me. I'll still come to find you."

"….ohh" I answered after some time. "O-okay." but as I watched him reach for the door handle, I got up to my feet and caught his free hand in mine.

He looked back in surprise.

"Umm, don't force yourself to remember anything if it hurts okay? I think, you've become different since you found out who I was. I don't want you to spend time with me if it hurts you."

"It does hurt stupid."

I looked up into his eyes.

"I'm going to keep trying though. I never thought much of my past before you. I used to try as a child, but the headaches started to get worse the more I thought about it. I didn't let myself think much about it after I met Eriol. But now I want to remember because I can't deny our past existed."

I didn't say anything.

"You used to smile at me and tell me that we'd make new memories together. I always just nodded, but now I can't even remember those memories. I know I can't recall all of them, but there's something missing. I want to know what that is." he raised the back of his hand hesitatingly to my cheek, and though I anticipated contact, there was none. "When you're around and I think about the past, it doesn't hurt as much. That's why it looks like I'm happier when I'm not around you, because it's only with you that I can start to remember." he sighed, and placed a finger on my head. "Don't look like that." he frowned.

"Will you tell me what was missing when you figure it out?"

He gave a small nod.

Even then, I knew there was something he wasn't telling me, but I believed he had good reason. A huge part of me admired Syaoran for the person he was, and though he kept the secret from me until the very end, he never really had a choice.

I think that there was another reason for his sadness.

to be continued…

Heh, sorry if you caught any grammatical errors. I didn't look over this chapter as much as I usually would. (My BIGGEST fear Saying Sakuradid this instead of saying I did this...)

-silent wanderer