Chapter Eight

"Well, that settles it," Mr. Fudge said. "You see—no dark mark on his left ankle. This man is not your previous guardian, and he is most definitely not He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

"Says you," Ron sputtered.

"He could easily be using a concealing charm!" Hermione cried.

"Oh, really," Mr. Fudge said. "You're being unreasonable, children. I'm not going to go charming perfectly honest-looking assistants just because you think they look familiar."

Nicholai's eyes widened when Mr. Fudge described him as "honest-looking" and after Mr. Fudge was done speaking he said, "Yes, children. You must be so tired and confused after the horrible death. How about I take them to a hospital to see if someone can come and pick up Hagrid?"

Mr. Fudge nodded sadly, then said, "Don't bother; I have a mirror. We can speak directly to the hospital."

"Please don't let us go with him, Mr. Fudge," Hermione cried.

"I'm not going anywhere with that horrible murderer!" Harry exclaimed.

"Ditto!" Ron said.

Mr. Fudge shook his head, and began walking toward the house. "Now children, let's come inside and I'll make you all a sleeping potion to help you relax. Nicholai and me will work this out."

"That's 'Nicholai and I'," Harry pointed out. Then he looked startled and smoothed his black hair which was sticking out, "Now why am I obsessed with grammar all of a sudden?"

"Teenage identity crisis?" Ron suggested.

"Plot purposes?" Hermione purposed.

"Stress," Mr. Fudge said firmly. "Now, we're almost to the house."

Suddenly, for the second time within the past ten minutes, someone appeared in the yard, almost bashing into Harry.

"What the-?" Harry cried.

It was a tall, stern-looking man with long brown, silky hair and a thin nose. The man's cold eyes and sneering mouth reminded the Potters of someone else, but they couldn't quite place him.

"I'm from the hospital. We heard there was a…." the man glanced toward Nicholai, then continued, "…mishap…with a…lizard?"

"Dragon," Mr. Fudge said.

"Close enough." The Hospital man smiled thinly. "Big, ugly, dangerous. Yeah, same diff. Anyway, can you show me the man?"

They were at the front door of Hagrid's house and Nicholai gave directions to the hospital man how to get to the dungeons and then followed Mr. Fudge, who was going into the kitchen.

"Now, while I'm making some calming potion, we have to decide what to do," Mr. Fudge said. "Nicholai, where did Hagrid keep the bat wings?"

"No idea."

"Third cupboard from the left," Hermione answered. "Under the powdered hens' teeth."

"Now," Nicholai began, "I really must insist on taking the children to Romania- uh, umm, the hospital. We have a portkey to catch- I mean, they look ill."

"Don't worry," Mr. Fudge said. "This potion should help just fine."

"But they are quite distressed about this murder," Nicholai argued.

"Murder?" Harry asked, pretending to look surprised. "Why, Nicholai, I didn't know this was a murder! I thought Hagrid was burned by a dragon! I thought it was an accident! Oh no! This means somebody is a murderer and-"

"I misspoke," Nicholai interrupted. "I sometimes make mistakes." Then he leaned toward Harry and whispered, "Not killing you the minute I saw you was another one of my mistakes."

"Of course you misspoke," Mr. Fudge said cheerfully. "But, since Hagrid seems to be out of every single ingredient except for rocks and anything to do with dragons, might I suggest that I take the children to the hospital? I can Apparate them right there and, with my being the minister of magic, nobody will ask any questions."

Nicholai glared at Fudge, as if he wanted to strike him dead with daggers from his eyes and said, "I would really, really like some time alone with the children. As soon as possible. I think I should Apparate. Being the minister, you should make sure that hospital guy gets Hagrid to Saint Mungo's."

Harry, Hermione and Ron looked at each other, displaying the kind of telepathy that three orphans can sometimes use. They knew that as soon as they were alone with "Nicholai" they would be whisked away via portkey and broom to Romania where he could kill them and steal all their galleons. Their best chance was to either be sent to the hospital with Mr. Fudge, preferably, or with the hospital man if necessary. Or better yet, they really should just stay home and not have to go to the hospital at all. They needed to find a way to send Nicholai to the hospital, and get Aurors to wait there for him and send him to Azkaban. But this would take an enormous amount of luck, so the children decided to work first on the carpooling aspect of it.

"We really would rather go with you, Mr. Fudge." Harry said. "If we have to go to the hospital at all."

"Awwww, you children are sweet. But why?" Mr. Fudge asked.

"Because…?" Harry glanced at Hermione.

"Because…we've always wanted to experience Side-Along Apparation," Hermione added. "It sounds so…?" She looked to Ron.

"Terrifying!" Ron exclaimed. But then he looked at Mr. Fudge and quickly added, "In a good way."

Just then the hospital man came back from the dungeon and announced, "I have concluded that it was definitely the work of a dangerous igunana-"

"Dragon," Nicholai said.

"Sorry, that's what I meant," The hospital man continued. "A dangerous, evil dragon. I have levitated Hagrid outside and will bring him with me back to the hospital."

"And we can go with him!" Harry said. "We don't need to take a Portkey to the hospital."

"Yes, you do," Nicholai said, through clenched teeth. "Side-Along Apparation is dangerous, children. I am only concerned for your safety."

"Yes," Mr. Fudge said. "Going with Mr.-," he turned to the man from the hospital. "I'm sorry, what is your name?"

"Uhhh. Dr. Remold Voltrod," The hospital man replied.

"Yes, well Dr. Voltrod….Volt-rod?...shouldn't take the children because it's enough work to take the body to the hospital. We can't expect him to also take three children," Mr. Fudge explained.

"Very wise, Mr. Fudge," Nicholai sneered. "I completely agree and-"

"So I should take them," Mr. Fudge finished.

"But-" Nicholai began.

"We can't go with him!" Harry cried. "Lord Voldemort's a murderer!"

Everyone but Nicholai gasped at that name and Mr. Fudge hissed, "Please, Harry, don't say that name! Why don't you kids go relax in another room? I only wish I could get the ingredients to make a sleeping potion."

"I'm sure I could…whip something up." Nicholai smiled fiercely, gazing at the children.

"That's okay," Hermione said hastily. "We were just going."

"We were?" Ron asked, as Hermione grabbed both boys by one arm each and dragged them out of the room. "Just tell us when you've decided who's taking who, and where!" Hermione cried to the three men.

"That's who's taking whom, Hermione," Harry corrected. "But I guess you're too busy to care about grammatical-correctness."

Hermione just rolled her eyes.

"Why did we leave, Hermione?" Ron asked. "We need to make sure You-Know-Who doesn't get us alone. Then we'll go to Romania with that Portkey."

"We couldn't solve anything arguing," Hermione replied, pursuing her lips and looking toward the door of the dungeon. "Arguing never solves anything."

"Yes it does," Both boys replied simultaneously.

Hermione rolled her eyes again. "No, we are going to have to get to work. Right now."

And with that, she led them back into the Dragon Dungeon.

REVIEWERS

tonkasean- I'm glad you liked my last chapter. Thanks for reviewing!

Queenofinsanity- Sorry it took so long! Thanks for being such a faithful reviewer for Alania's and my story. Makes me wonder if you even have a life….

Kelliedolarhyde- Well, here's the return of the Potter orphans. Thanks for commenting and reading, as always!

elvengirl9- You can't remember why he doesn't have a tattoo because I haven't written it yet! His reason is different than Count Olaf's reason. By the way, I love your penname.

Visualpurple- Call me anytime! I hope we can get together this Christmas Break. My family's going to see Narnia together. It came out yesterday. Yesterday was also a Snow Day. Hee hee. I love snow!

iluvwill16- I'm glad you think it's original, even though I don't think it's that original since, after all, the plot is already pretty much made up. I just have to twist it a little bit.

AnGeloOfMErCeY94- Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I finally got around to updating this story!

Harry-is-a-Prat- I have not seen the movie spaceballs, but my friend, Visualpurple (that's her pen name) told me about a lot of the funny parts, so I kind of copied it.

Carlotta's twin- I STILL haven't read the twelfth book because I'm getting it for Christmas! Ugh! I can't wait that long!

Radszilla- "incorporating"? I'm impressed. Usually reviewers use really short, tiny words like "lol" and "ur great". Thank you for taking the time to spell and use a nice vocabulary. Not that I don't like reviews with chat speak, because I'll take any reviews I can get, but I really appreciate it. This is the update you asked for.

PLEASE REVIEW MORE! I LOVE IDEAS AND OPINIONS!