Alternate/Joke Title: Real Gamers respect pronouns!

The title's talking about you, Kris.

Chapter 2: Ice Cream, now introducing moss flavor!

Now this is bad. I hate everything.

Noelle and I arrived at the ice cream store, I just paid for our food, and before I could even get a lick off of my ice cream cone Susie busts the door down. Walking in like she owns the place. Now she's giving me the stink eye from the other side of room while scarfing down her ice cream cup.

Ugh, that barbarian! She didn't even pay for her food! Susie forced the only Addison working to make her a moss flavored ice cream.

That's just disgusting!

Ugh, enough about Susie, the undeniably cute and fluffy goat monster Susie was traveling with approached me and Noelle at our table with a friendly smile.

"Why hello there Noelle and… Berdly, was it? I hope you don't mind us being here. It seems like all of us had the same idea! Isn't that nice?" He talked to us like we are acquaintances, which we are not!

We are enemies!

"Oh, we don't mind at all! We are taking a break from Queen, so don't worry about us attacking you or anything." Noelle responds before I do to the goat boy.

"H-huh!? You're okay with this! Noelle, those two are our rivals!" I tell her.

"Hey, give it up Berdly! It was your idea to take a break and treat ourselves. Do you really want to get in another fight?" Noelle retorts.

Oh-um-yeah, she's right. I look down and contemplate her question.

"Let's take it easy." Noelle calmly restates her point as she eats a scoop of her chocolate chip blizzard.

I think it over for a second.

"Y-you know what, you're right Noelle. I… I guess we can let them go for now. I'm just on edge from earlier, heh."

Embarrassed, I scratch the back of my head and glance at the green-clad goat.

He's giving us a cheerful smile.

"That's wonderful to hear! Well, I'll go get my treat. You two enjoy your ice cream!" Goat boy excuses himself like a waiter.

Hmm… he'd probably be the perfect waiter now that I think about it. He's a good talker, polite, cute, and has a million-dollar smile.

I look at him again as he pays for his food. It looks like he ordered a green, mint-flavored ice cream cone. Kind of a weird flavor in my personal opinion, but he IS wearing green so it makes sense.

"Thank you, Have a wonderful day!" He says to the Addison worker.

"Uhh… you too." The Addison says in a quivering voice as he fearfully glances at Susie.

"Don't worry about her. I'm sorry for her behavior, but here! I'll pay for her ice cream." The goat monster puts a few dark dollars on the desk and walks away to sit with Susie.

Woah, a true gentleman! He wouldn't just be the perfect waiter, he's the perfect butler! I could imagine him being one of Queen's butlers in a fancy suit and tie, pampering to my every need, cleaning those damn feathers I can't reach, and polishing my controllers-

"H… hey Berdly, stop staring at them like that. It's weird." Noelle whispers.

Huh what-oh. Lost in my goat butler fantasy I didn't realize that I'm staring at Susie and goat boy sitting at their table, and they noticed and are glaring at me in return.

Well, Susie is glaring at me. The goat monster looks confused.

Wait why do I keep calling him goat monster-

"UHH I'M SORRY! I just realized I don't know your name, goat boy!" I say in a rush.

"Ah… I see! I haven't properly introduced myself. Well, I'm Ralsei, nice to meet you!" Ralsei huh… that's a cute name.

Susie stops glaring at me and grumbles as she goes back to eating her "food".

Yes, I saved it!

"Heh, my pleasure, Ralsei."

With my bird butt saved from Susie's wrath and my piece said I take my gaze off of them and finally lick my ice cream cone.

Nom nom.

…

Ahhh. That hit the spot!

Nothing is more refreshing than a classic vanilla ice cream! I'm much better now! Turns out all I needed was a frozen treat and a fluffy boy to calm me down.

I continue to eat my ice cream with Noelle, and for a few minutes the room is calm. Everyone is just eating their snacks.

This is relaxing.

I look at Noelle and it seems she's in deep thought. She's stirring her ice cream with her spoon while having this fascinated look on her face. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen her this calm since we've arrived in this… world.

That's good for her, when we first met Queen she was a sputtering mess but ever since we got separated she's grown more… confident?

I look at my best friend again with a more focused gaze. Her slouched posture and pale blond, frayed hair doesn't really spell out 'confidence'.

Hmm, no she's grown to be stronger.

Stronger. Huh.

Ever since we got separated, ever since Kris. She still hasn't told me about that yet. I should remind her.

I ask her a question.

"Noelle, what are you thinking about over there?"

That shakes her out of it.

"Huh, me? Oh I was just thinking about everything that happened with Kris." She gives me an unusually straightforward answer… and she didn't even stutter once.

"Is that so? Well, I'm still waiting for an explanation for why we ended up fighting each other." I remind her.

"Oh yeah… the battle. Me and Kris fought a lot of battles when we were together… they all seem to blur together now."

"…"

Uhh okay. Noelle sidetracks herself and is starting to zone out again. Maybe she's gathering her thoughts?

I look her in the eye and I swear I can see them turning white, but then the next moment her eyes go back to their normal black color.

…

I wait for a bit and she ignores me with a blank face, like she's remembering something and she can't decide how to feel about it.

What's her deal? She acts normal until I mention anything about our fight and then she goes like this. It's like she returns to that trancelike state.

Speaking of trances, my eyes start gravitating to the thorny ring on her ring finger.

I noticed it right before we entered the building. It was just a comedic act, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and gawked in faux-awe at the "magnificent gamer club". Noelle giggled and brushed my arm off, and I had to refrain from yelping as the tiny, sharp ring on her finger dug into my skin as she did.

And even though the Ring of Thorns(+1… probably) was on her finger, I felt like I could see a swirling void in the ring's center. Tempting me to just keep staring at it.

… so captivating. I have a feeling that ring holds all the answers.

"Obviously you're too distracted by the whole 'stronger' thing. I think it's time for a twist! What's that on your finger, that Ring of Thorns?" I ask Noelle with copious amounts of smug.

Noelle eyes her ring, then she freezes like she got caught with a hand in the cookie jar as a red blush fills her cheeks.

"K… K-Kris bought this ring for me! As a gift!" Noelle nearly shouts in response. Her stutter making a reappearance.

I look across the room to see Susie and Ralsei looking at Noelle confused, but they dismiss it and go back to their food.

I go back to Noelle to see that a freaky expression formed on her face. It like she's on the verge of tears, but she's smiling like that gift means the world to her.

I'm sufficiently weirded out at this point.

"W-why? What buffs does it give you?" I inquire further.

"It makes me, well my magic, stronger!" She points it out like it's obvious. Yeah, I should have seen that coming. 'Stronger' is the word of the day.

"It looks, er… painful to wear, Noelle." I comment on the ring's spiky appearance.

Honestly if Noelle had blood she'd be bleeding profusely from wearing that ring.

"Of course it hurts to wear, but that's the price the pay to become strong." She states matter-of-factly.

Noelle becomes thoughtful for a moment.

"… Kris wants me to be strong like they are, and they bought the ring for that reason."

She says that more to herself than me.

"Is it really worth harming yourself to be powerful?" I ask her hoping she'll use some logic.

I always did think that the glass cannon strategy was too much, but the fact Noelle's been wearing the ring for so long now is worrying.

"The pain is worth it, Berdly. If Kris wanted me to wear it… then I'm sure of it."

Huh!? I feel my eyes try to bulge out of my eye sockets.

Noelle is NOT okay! What did Kris do to her!

I take a deep breath to calm myself, no need to make a scene. This is supposed to be our break. No need to attract Susie and Ralsei over there into our business.

A tinge of anxiety enters my chest.

Susie and Ralsei are Kris's friends… keeping this away from them will be difficult.

Damn it, how am I supposed to deal with this!?

I remember my last interaction with Kris. They said they didn't know why they were acting the way they were. Kris sounded pretty honest when they said that. That's more like the Kris I know, despite their strange and infuriating tendencies Kris doesn't do stuff like this.

"Uh… Noelle, I don't think Kris would really make you wear that ring. For all of their mischievous tricks, Kris won't go so far as to physically hurt you."

SWISH

… Great, I said 'Kris' too loudly.

That was the sound of Susie swerving her head to set her sights on me. I could feel her eyes digging into my skull.

At the same time Noelle narrows her eyes and she drops her voice to a hush.

"N-no! Don't say that! You don't understand what it was like!"

I lean over the table and lower my voice in turn.

"Then tell me how Kris got you that ring because I'm sure you don't see rings like that in your average jewelry store!" I hiss in frustration.

She stares me down for a solid minute, but then she takes a deep breath, and stuffs a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

Wha-

"I'm stressed... sorry." She says with her mouth full.

I… will let that go. I mentally berate myself as I, too, eat my ice cream. It's obvious she's stressed out, yet I'm still pushing her. I should just be quiet and listen for once.

I nod and stay silent. She chews a bit and swallows.

"Okay, the ring. I'll talk about it." Noelle states in a whisper.

It'll be a good idea to keep my voice down for the rest of this conversation as well. It will put a stop to Susie's eavesdropping.

Still eating my vanilla ice cream, I just nod in acknowledgment.

"Where do I start with this ring? Let's see, there was this strange… freak who lived in a dumpster who owned it, but he didn't give it to us right away."

Noelle's voice was so venomous when she said 'freak'. It caught me off-guard, I never heard Noelle speak about anybody like that. She's always so nice and timid, it was like she turned into a different person.

"He offered us the ring if we did something for him, and all he said was a number. I remember that I was so angry at his stupid offer that I wanted to freeze him, but Kris calmed me down and led me away. Then we went back to fighting enemies."

Fighting enemies? Guess that makes sense if she was following Kris. All of Queen's minions would just attack both of them.

Noelle closes her eyes to try and remember more.

"We had done that for so long even before meeting that freak." She pauses.

"Find enemies, obey Kris, iceshock, repeat." She said in a monotone voice.

Oof, iceshock. I remember how that felt.

"Is that what you mean by freezing? By using iceshock?" I quietly ask out of a morbid curiosity.

"… Yeah… it's very… literal. At the end of a fight the enemy would be nothing but a frozen statue." Noelle admits.

"Oh… interesting." I mumble nervously as I remember that she was genuinely going to do the exact same thing to me.

Hmm, freezing every possible enemy to get a ring, now this sounds straight of the mind of some indie game dev.

Fortunately, my extensive gaming repertoire has prepared me enough for this type of situation to only be mildly surprised.

I don't have any other response so Noelle moves on and continues speaking.

"Kris had it down to an art, and I was their paintbrush. After every battle, Kris and I would admire our work… we'd just look into the frozen eyes of those things… and every time they would encourage me to keep going with a pat on the shoulder or even just looking me in the eyes with those proud red orbs!"

At the end of her rant Noelle has her hands on her head, and she's crying.

I've never seen her cry before, I feel my own eyes begin to tear up. Oh god, those puppy dog eyes are too much!

I hate to think this but Noelle looks like she's gone insane. Don't worry my friend, I'll cheer you up!

"Shhh. C… calm down Noelle. Kris isn't here, they can't hurt you anymore with their nefarious plans, and you have me! Your glorious knight in glow in the dark armor! Here to protect you from foes of low intelligence!"

Noelle snickers lightheartedly from my act of bravado.

"Har har har, oh how could I forget?"

Noelle remarks humorously while she slowly rolls her watery eyes.

"… Alright then… we…"

I think about what I'm gonna say. I still need to hear the rest of Noelle's journey.

"… Should continue with the story. So after freezing all of those people-"

Noelle flinches. I shouldn't have said that.

"- you and Kris got the ring from that dumpster person?" I assume.

Noelle doesn't respond for a little bit, but eventually she picks herself up enough to keep talking.

"… Pfft, no. That scumbag wanted us to buy it from him at an outrageous price! Although Kris didn't seem to mind that much, so they bought the ring and they gave it to me. Kris said it was a gift."

She stares at the ring fondly.

"A gift only for me… a reward for my newfound strength."

Noelle sounded as if she was nostalgic in her reminiscing, especially in the way they talked about Kris. Every time Noelle said Kris's name in such fascination and reverence.

I feel this proves that Noelle is beyond messed up.

I bring Noelle back to reality.

"So that's how you got the ring then. Hmm, did anything happen after you got the ring?"

I prod her for anymore information.

"After we got the ring we… um, r-ran into you Berdly. I remember that because the city finally grew quiet." Noelle says.

That's it? She got the ring and I was the first "enemy" she ran into? That was probably for the best I suppose. Thank the Angel I was able to beat Noelle and Kris, preventing any further chaos.

Wait a minute, aha! I may be able to dispose of that dangerous ring! My confidence rises as I become sure of myself and I no longer speak in hushed whispers.

"Running into me was for the best, my beloved Noelle! Now we can put a stop to your predicament, and I believe all you need to do is remove that ring. Then we shall properly dispose-"

"No."

Noelle interrupts me and rejects my idea.

"What?" I'm baffled, why would Noelle not want to get rid of the ring?

"I'm not getting rid of the ring Berdly, I'm not budging." She states.

Noelle elaborates before I can ask another question.

"I-it keeps me focused. The p-pain keeps me grounded. Taking it off is not a good idea."

I'm skeptical at first, but the more I look at her the more I see that she has a point.

Noelle's black eyes have this look to them, not broken per se, but something close to it. Her body is so tense that it looks like she'll literally snap at any moment. Her hands are constantly fidgeting, and periodically ice would form on her fingertips until she flicked it off.

Noelle really is hanging on by a thread.

I don't know what else to do.

I sit there, thinking of something I can do to help my friend, but there's nothing. My deck of cards is empty.

A weight of uselessness sets in my chest and I start to overthink. There HAS be some other way I can help Noelle. There just HAS to!

Before I can start hyperventilating, Noelle's startled voice grabs my attention as a chair loudly scrapes against the floor.

"S-S-Susie,"

Noelle utters quietly.

"I'm done waiting for your slow eating ass, Ralsei!" I hear Susie shout from behind me.

DAMN IT! I forgot about Susie! I got to get my act together!

I turn to the side to see Susie coming directly toward our table.

"Susie! Wait! I'm almost done!" Ralsei tries to call her back.

Susie ignores him and gets WAY too close to me. She's so close I can smell her breath. Yuck, it was BAD, her failure at dental care had never been more apparent. I'm tempted to gag on the spot but I hold it in.

I reluctantly raise my head to look at her in the sickly yellow eye.

She's eyeing me like I'm her next murder victim.

Uh oh.

"Hey, couldn't help but hear you two have been saying Kris's name a lot, and your whispering has gotten my attention." She casually, yet menacingly, mentions.

"Did you two run into Kris? I would appreciate it if you told me how they're doing," Susie silently threatens me and Noelle to fess up.

Crap! What do I say! I don't want to get clobbered by Susie!

"What Susie means to say is that she's worried about Kris." Ralsei appears next to Susie while still licking his ice cream cone.

"What!? No I'm not! I just want to know where Kris is! And there is no way you finished your ice cream yet Ralsei, so… shut up!" She barks at him.

"Of course! You TOTALLY aren't worried about Kris!" Ralsei states in very obvious sarcasm.

"… I shouldn't have taught you sarcasm." She mutters.

Susie's threatening aura dissipates and using my intellect I come up with the perfect answer.

"Don't get all wound up, Susie. If you really want to know, I merely ran into Kris while I was searching for my lost friend, Noelle, here." I turn and gesture to Noelle for emphasis.

Her face is pale and she looks like she's about have a breakdown.

Hang in there, Noelle.

I slowly turn to face Susie once more.

"I assure you that Kris is well." I confirm the half-truth with the utmost confidence.

The purple dinosaur gives me a distrustful glare.

"Well, if you're so confident then…" Susie grabs my chair rotates it so that I'm completely facing her. Then she puts a hand on my shoulder with an iron grip.

"… you shouldn't have a problem telling me where Kris is. I bet you had a fight with Kris since y'all hate each other's guts, and I'm tired of listening to your usual smartass routine in class, Berdly, so cut the shit and tell me where Kris is."

"Susie! That is enough." Ralsei raises his voice.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." I reassure the goat boy.

I stand up to reach Susie's level and try to remove her hand from my shoulder, emphasis on 'try'.

"Look, my dear Susan. It's quite the assumption to think I would attack Kris on sight. I may not like Kris, but that? That's grasping at nonexistent straws! Our encounter wasn't anything life-threatening!"

Susie didn't have to know it WAS actually life-threatening. Nevertheless Susie lessens her grip on my shoulder, but doesn't let go.

"Trust me when I say that Kris is fine. In fact, they shouldn't be too far away-"

"Oh, Kris is right there!" Ralsei exclaims.

He's pointing at the entrance of the establishment.

"WHAT?!"

Susie, Noelle, and I collectively yell in disbelief as we follow the goat's direction. Sure enough, on the other side of the building's glass windows is Kris is walking to the right toward the door.

We all expect Kris to enter the building, but Kris metaphorically slaps us all silly when they straight up ignore the door and keep walking.

We all watch Kris slowly leave frame right.

…

"GOD DAMMIT, KRIS! GET YOUR DUMBASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Susie recovers first and yells at Kris to no effect.

She shoves me away and I slam into my chair. To make sure I don't collapse on the floor I grab the table for support, smacking my ice cream in the process.

Meanwhile Susie darts to the door to chase after Kris.

"C'mon Ralsei! Let's get 'em!" She calls to the fluffy goat.

"You said it, Susie! We can't let Kris escape!"

An angry Ralsei quickly falls in behind Susie. In a flash both Susie and Ralsei leave the restaurant and follow Kris's direction.

Susie and Ralsei stop before they leave my sight and they look around frantically.

"Where'd they go, Ralsei! Kris isn't down the street!" Susie's muffled voice shouts.

"Kris must have gone down this alleyway!" I hear Ralsei exclaim.

With that Susie and Ralsei chase after Kris.

…

I loudly exhale now that everything had calmed down.

I stand up straight and let go of the table I was still gripping tightly. That's when I notice that my hands are covered in vanilla ice cream.

"No, my hands! Gah! Eww… aw man."

I also see that the table has spilled ice cream all over it too. Uh oh, it looks like I spilled both mine and Noelle's ice cream when I grabbed the table.

"Uh… sorry about your ice cream Noelle." I apologize.

Noelle- who was staring at the window where Susie and Ralsei were- looks at me and then the table.

"… Uhh… um it's not a big deal. I… already finished it."

Noelle assures me that it's fine.

She looks back to the window and whispers quietly to herself, but I can still hear her clearly.

"What the fuck is happening."

Damn it, Noelle is still on the verge of a mental breakdown!

However, I have to clean up this mess I made, and I'll start by washing this stuff off my hands!

"Excuse me, my dear Noelle for I have to wash my hands. Just… stay here until I come back and clean this up, okay?" I explain to her.

Noelle simply nods in agreement.

Okay, I need to find the restroom. I walk up to the Addison cashier and ask him where the public restroom is.

"Thank goodness that purple beast is gone… huh? Oh, the restroom is down the hallway over there." He points at a hallway to my left.

I follow his directions and make my way to the restroom. I can hear a rowdy commotion from the other side of the left wall.

"Search all the dumpsters! Kris can't hide from us forever!" Susie commands from the other side.

Pfft, they still can't find Kris?

I enter the restroom and head to the sink and I turn on the water. Alright, got to rinse my feathers first. ... There, all of the ice cream is off. Now to wash with soap to get rid of the sticky feeling. As I'm washing my hands a toilet gets flushed behind me. I look up to the restroom mirror and I realize that the large stall was occupied. The stall door opens and-

WHAT THE HELL, IT'S KRIS!?

I turn my head away from the mirror. Yep, that's Kris!

"Kris! What are you doing in here!?"

"AHH!" Kris yelps.

Whoops, I frightened Kris and now they're pulling out their sword in a panic. I raise my wet hands placatingly.

"Woah woah, calm down Kris! It's me, Berdly!"

"What? Oh! Thank god. It's just you."

Relieved, Kris puts their sword away. Strangely enough, Kris looks around the restroom even though I'm right in front of them.

"Uhh… where are you? Are you the blue thing in front of me?"

Kris asks as they point a finger roughly at my head.

"Kris, this is not the time for your tricks. I'm right in front of you."

"Uh, I'm not messing with you, dude. I can't see anything a few feet ahead of me." Kris replies.

"Really. Then how did you find this restroom?"

"The exit was unlocked, and I really needed to take a fat dump."

"Huh?"

Perplexed, I peak out the restroom door (not before drying my hands of course) and I see that the emergency exit is directly across from me.

And it... is cracked open.

Okay, I can see that as logical. Well, logical if I ignore the fact that Kris took a very fast dump, not the fastest, but definitely a speedy stop at the porcelain throne. I close the restroom door and walk back to Kris. I get close enough to Kris so that they can see me. I'm so close I can see their vibrant red eyes.

"Duly noted, Kris. So does that mean you really didn't see all of us through the window when you walked by the restaurant?"

I inquire again just to make sure Kris is telling the truth.

"Wait I missed you?" They say confused.

Kris really is far-sighted for some reason?

Okay, I'll roll with it.

"Yes Kris, you also missed Susie, Ralsei, and Noelle."

"Shit! N-Noelle's nearby!? That isn't good- AGH!"

All of a sudden Kris shouts in pain and they grab onto my shoulder for support. Caught by surprise, I awkwardly try to hold Kris up while at the same time trying to preserve my personal space.

It was weird to be this close to Kris… and in a restroom no less.

Heavens this feels scandalous!

"Uh… hey, Kris. What's wrong with you?" I ask.

Kris puts a hand in their pocket and starts digging for something. Soon they bring out… a red heart?

"You know what's wrong with me! This, Berdly! My stupid. Little. SOUL." Kris grunts venomously.

"Th… THAT'S your soul?" I say in astonishment.

"Yes. It is. Haven't you read those books about humans in the library?"

"Of course I have, Kris! But… I've never seen one in real life before. Wait… is that the object you stuffed in your pocket after I beat you?"

"Yes. You… didn't know? Wait, stop it. Stop asking questions. I don't have much time, my legs are starting to give out."

Then and there is when it clicks for me that Kris has been walking around with their soul ripped out of their body.

"Oh crap!? Is your body breaking down because your soul isn't in your body?"

"Basically, the first thing that happens is that I get far-sighted and then the rest of my body starts giving out. Usually I don't linger long enough for this to happen when I do this."

"Wait a second, you've done this before!?"

"Don't think about it too much, idiot! I need to know, how's Noelle doing?"

Hm, a bit snappy today aren't you Kris?

"Gee, mind your manners Kris. To answer your question: not good. You messed- no- you fucked her up with all the genocide! That Ring of Thorns is the only reason why she isn't broken or crazy right now, but the ring does kind of make her have masochistic tendencies."

"Pff, you barely noticed that right now?"

Why is Kris saying that in such an incredulous way! Is the idea of Noelle being a masochist that obvious?

"Oh, and by the way, the 'genocide' as you called it. That. Wasn't. Me!" Kris growls at me.

Kris leans their head toward the soul in their hand as they glare at me with those red eyes.

"This SOUL forced me to manipulate Noelle into killing those people! It forced me to buy the Thornring and give it to her!"

Kris breathes deeply.

"Hoooh. Look, Berdly, I can't afford to make you believe me right now. What I need is for you to keep me away from Noelle."

Kris's voice turns hoarse as they request for my assistance. After a quick bout of pros and cons in my brain I decide to offer my hand.

I do believe Kris didn't mean to cause all I of this, so I'll help them.

...

Yeah... I'm going to regret this.

"Okay, I'll go with it, but why?"

"Because I'm gonna have to put this soul back in me, and it's getting really hard to keep it under control."

The soul is wriggling in Kris's hand.

I don't think souls are supposed to do that!

"Ignore the soul, Berdly. It does that sometimes. Once I put the soul back in me, I'll go back to that… ruthless me. Do you understand me?" Kris keeps talking.

I nod my head.

"That's good enough for me. Welp, here goes. I… I can feel my arms going numb."

Kris steps away from me on wobbly legs and raises their soul in front of them. They hesitate, and look at me again.

"Please keep me away from Noelle, and I… I'm sorry… for almost killing you."

They hack out with a dysfunctional throat.

"I appreciate the apology but you should really put that soul back in you!"

Without further delay, Kris slams the soul into their chest, absorbing it.

...

Kris stands there motionless for a minute, but eventually they come back to life with a loud gasp for air.

Kris takes a few deep breaths of air before they steady themselves.

"This… this is new. I'm in… a restroom. Yes, a restroom in an ice cream store. I remember now."

Kris speaks to themselves as they take note of the bland restroom. Kris's voice sounds the same to me. It's just Kris's voice, no terrifying voice like when I fought them.

I'm not sure which Kris I'm looking at right now, but I should tread carefully.

"Uh, Kris?" I ask nervously.

Kris turns their head to look at me directly. Then they approach me with robotic movements, and then Kris speaks.

"Hello, Berdly."

Kris greets me in an ominous tone like they knew something I didn't.

Yep, this wasn't Kris all right. The human's mannerisms had changed, but I couldn't identify how Kris changed for the life of me. Maybe they stood too straight, or maybe it was the stiff movements? One thing for sure is that Kris is acting un-Kris like.

"I must applaud you for your performance so far, Berdly. I was so sure you were done for when the doe casted Snowgrave, but through sheer force of will and the barest trace of determination you managed to bring something entirely new."

Okay, what the heck does this guy mean by THAT? I can't tell if they are being condescending or honest with that syntax choice. The only thing I know for sure is that the look Kris is giving me is making me feel a funny sort of way.

Noelle wasn't lying about those PROUD red eyes. Those beauties can kill a person.

"Heh heh, speechless, are you? Well no matter, I heard that our dearest Noelle was nearby."

"Hmph! You are going to leave Noelle alone and I will personally escort you out."

"No need for the hostility, my little bluebird. I was messing with you. For one, I want to know how this plays out. This sequence of events was unexpected… at least unexpected as in I was already preparing my imaginary oven for some frozen chicken."

The human gives me a big, toothy smile after their joke.

Kris's face isn't used to making such expressions, but that smile somehow looked natural on Kris. It is very off-putting, combined with the morbid joke at my expense and I'm already tempted to smack this fake Kris on the head.

"Ugh, get out of my sight! I won't humor you any longer!"

"Ok, ok, I'll give you a break. Lead the way then, my sweet knight."

Kris gestures toward the exit.

Let's get this over with.

I lead not-Kris out of the restroom and I stand by the emergency exit door, making sure to block the hallway so the human doesn't try anything funny. The human stops and looks past me before they open the door.

"It's a bit frosty in here. Don't you think?"

They say with a complete and utter shit-eating grin.

"This is an ice cream store. It's supposed to be cold." I deadpan.

Not-Kris shrugs and deadpans in return.

"If you say so. Well, see you around, Berdly. It was nice to have a conversation without Kris's usual resistance for once."

Not-Kris then puts a hand to their chin in thought. I don't bother trying to listen to their oncoming mumbling.

"(That's probably because Kris is conked out from not having me in them for so long. Therefore I have total control for the time being before Kris soon regains consciousness. Nice.)"

With an air of enthusiasm they open the door to the alley. Instead of leaving though, the human freezes mid-step. I look out the door and on the other side is Susie searching through a dumpster. She swiftly turns around after hearing the door creak open.

"Kris! There you are!"

She exclaims, then she turns her head and yells at Ralsei that she found Kris who's now slouching dejectedly. Ralsei appears and he's quick to admonish Kris.

"Kris! It is rude to ignore us like that! I can't believe you made us go on a wild goose chase to find you!"

I hear Kris mutter under their breath.

"(I should've known. Stupid 'choices don't matter' bullshit.)"

I wouldn't lie, that did place a smug and superiority-filled smirk on my face.

"Yeah! I found you, idiot! Thought you were being so sneaky when you were hiding from me, huh!" Susie taunts Kris.

"S-Susie, Ralsei! It wasn't on purpose! I was busy trying to find a restroom, alright! Also, the restaurant's windows were very foggy! I couldn't see anything!"

Kris hastily throws out excuses to cover for their temporary blindness, but Susie isn't having it. She sneers.

"Yeah, right! Those windows are cleaner than Ralsei's fur! What's your deal, Kris? Didn't want to admit you wanted to ditch us?"

Susie punches Kris in the shoulder playfully, and Kris rattles comically in place from the punch. Kris mutters an 'ouch' and gets pissed at Susie. She's quick to apologize, in an embarrassed yet sarcastic way, as Ralsei proceeds to laugh at the two of them.

"Hehehe... Maybe try to be a little more... aware of your surroundings next time, alright?"

The goat boy says with a wink.

The Kris impostor smolders toward Susie for a few seconds until they breath deeply and calmly grin at Ralsei.

"Sure thing, Rals. Wouldn't want to hurt your feelings because I'm gone for too long. Right Susie?"

They speak smoothly with a charged undertone I can't quite decipher. Whatever it was, their words made Ralsei blush. Kris nudges Susie with their elbow, and she bellows in laughter.

"HAHAHA! Yeah! Don't want Ralsei to suffer from Kris deficiency!"

"H-hey! Stop it, Susie! You were more worried about Kris than I was!" Ralsei defends himself.

"Uhh, no I wasn't. Don't listen to him, Kris."

Susie obviously lies as she shifts in place and gets nervous.

Ugh, I'm getting tired of watching these three. Don't they have stuff to do? Like stopping Queen, or doing idiotic activities, preferably not in my line of sight.

Susie clears her throat.

"Arright, not sure about you idiots but I'm ready to blow this joint. I've had enough of this place, actually I should say I've had enough of you, Berdly."

Oh, I thought they didn't know I was here. Oh well, time to shoo them away.

"Ah, I could say the same, Susie. It's about time you three leave me and my dear Noelle alone. She is waiting for my glorious return."

I tell them off with my natural air of superiority.

"Ugh, let's get out of here guys. I'm not standing next to Berdly any longer."

Susie grabs Kris and starts speed walking out of the alleyway. Kris looking very distressed all the while. Ralsei follows shortly after saying a quick goodbye to me. As the three 'heroes' walk out of the alley I hear Susie's voice again.

"Oh, Kris! I gotta show you my new ability! I call it Ultimaheal!"

That's my cue to take my leave. I turn around and walk back toward the main room of the restaurant. I have to check back up on Noelle. Hopefully, I can keep her calm until I get some help for her... but how would I go about that? I'm no way qualified to deal with Noelle's emotional frenzy. Grr, what can I do?

... Hmmm... huh? WHAT!?

... W-w-w-why!?

I-I'm in the main room, a-and I f-feel so c-cold. T-the place, it's snowing in here! I feel dread fill me up as I take in the sudden change of the restaurant. Snow is calmly falling from the ceiling like it's Christmas morning. Everything looks... frozen.

Covered in a sheet of ice. It's slippery.

I see Noelle and she is sitting at the table. Deathly still, like a statue. I walk toward her, my body shivering from the chill. As I pass by the cashier's station I remember the Addison that was working there and I stop moving. My breath gets caught in my throat.

"Don't look left don't look left don't look left DON'T YOU DARE DO IT!"

Against my brain's cries, my head turns to the left. T-there's only a block of ice: a symmetrical hexagon. L-like a supersized snowflake.

Noelle... she... froze him. I turn my head away in fear. I c-can't look at that anymore.

I feel a small corner of my brain whisper: "That could've been you."

I ignore the existential thought and attempt to take a step forward, but my body was still filled with fear. My foot shuffles and slips on the icy floor. I panic and attempt to keep my balance, but it takes insultingly long and I manage to stop myself from almost colliding into Noelle. I exhale a breath that I was unconsciously holding-

The next thing I know Noelle's holding her hand centimeters away from my beak. She must have heard me breathe! Her hand is overflowing with ice magic, I can feel the snowflakes generating from her hand land on my mouth with that chilling burn. Noelle's eyes are still and emotionless.

"Oh, Berdly, you're back."

She takes her hand away from my face.

"I... I don't know what I did, but everything is... cool... now. I was thinking about that spell Kris told me to cast... Snowgrave."

A swath of ice and snow comes out of Noelle's hands as she utters the spell. I notice that, for some reason, Noelle is detached. She isn't emoting at all.

"Snowgrave, Snowgrave." More ice, more snow.

"I kept saying it... and somehow this happened. I feel... strong saying it. Like I can do anything, but..."

Noelle slowly turns her head and glimpses the frozen Addison for the briefest moment.

"... Did I...?"

She doesn't finish her question, and I'm too shocked by everything to say anything. Soon Noelle stands up and faces the front door entrance.

"... Berdly, I'm going to go home. I don't feel so good."

The deer girl walks to the door, opens it, and leaves without looking back. When she leaves I feel that I can breath again.

...

What the HELL is going on! Noelle managed to freeze a whole building while I went to the restroom! Gah, if that human didn't find their way inside I wouldn't have been gone for so long! A certain phrase from my conversation with Kris sticks out to me in the aftermath of Noelle's exit.

"It's a bit frosty in here. Don't you think?"

"It's a bit FROSTY" And that shit-eating grin...

...

THEY KNEW! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! FUCK THAT HUMAN!

...

I NEED TO CALM DOWN, I retreat to my mind palace and I gain clarity. In that moment of clarity I realize that it's probably a bad idea to leave Noelle on her own. The clarity kickstarts my brain and I come up with a plan, I need to get Noelle to Queen's Mansion. Noelle has her own room there, I can get her there and then Noelle won't be at risk of hurting any more people!

Coming out of my mind palace I rush out of the restaurant and back out to the still empty streets of the Cyber City.

"Noelle, wait up!"

She didn't get too far so she stops and waits for me. I catch up and enact my foolproof plan.

"Hey Noelle, please, let me guide you to Queen's Mansion! There you can go to your room! And then you can rest! Maybe even take a nap?"

I ask her as politely I can, hoping she doesn't snap. Thankfully a small smile forms on the doe, breaking through the cold and detached demeanor she had back at the restaurant.

"Th... that sounds nice." Noelle agrees.

"Great! I'll lead the way!"

I take charge and Noelle falls in beside me. We begin our walk back to the mansion.

Eventually, me and Noelle find ourselves on the red carpet leading to Queen's luxurious mansion. It was a silent walk, I was more than comfortable not talking after that incident, and Noelle zoned out during our walk and regressed into a practically catatonic state. We travel down the entire length of the red carpet and to the mansion's entrance. Finally, we're back at Queen's mansion! Now, Noelle can go to her room and rest! I enter the mansion and guide the catatonic Noelle through the entrance. We both enter the foyer and I get halted in my tracks.

Oh sweet lady of justice!

The mansion! Something's wrong with the place! The first thing that catches my eye is that at the entrance of the cafe there's a strange statue blocking the way. I see Swatchling's trapped behind the stature struggling to move it to no avail.

And what are these signs littered all over the walls?

"DEALS"

"BUY"

My jaw drops as I stare at the scene in front of me.

What happened while I was gone!?

CHAPTER 2 END

AUTHOR NONSENSE: I think this time I really got carried away, 7000 words, yikers. That's what happens when you put no time constraints on yourself.

My idea for this chapter was simply "Berd and slightly crazy Noelle have ice cream. Dino and Ralsei appear. Shenanigans ensue. Also surprise Kris". This probably isn't your usual taste of Noelle mindbreak, isn't it?

I'm not even done yet either, one more chapter should finish off my 'one-shot' idea. Well if its 7000 words to repent for Snowgraving Berdly then I guess it's worth it in the end. Last chapter should be shorter than this one.

I practically have a whole AU at this point. The only other "Alternate Weird Route" I know on a deep level is Salt Route. Hmm, I will proceed to stop talking.

G'bye!