Once again I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out, I had hoped to finish it by the time I startedmy junior year, which is now impossible since I start school Monday. The reason for such a slow update iscombination of things, I've been ill and I've barely been home this summer and my laptop crashed, throw in my job at the hospital and well...time is impossible to find. I do intend to fiinish this fic, however, updates may be few and far between because my classes include the following: AP Chemistry, AP Psychology, AP English, Law Studies, US History, Pre-Calculus, American History Honors, and a Writing class that is mandatory for AP English. The only classthat I'll be able to relax in is Drawing and Painting I.My Chemistry Honors teacher Dr. McCord will also be my AP Chemteacher...and AP Chem is a yearlong class.
Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.Albert Einstein
Chapter 5
The problem with school was that every day quickly fell into a familiar and boring pattern, every day began the same way and ended the same way and just because Sesshoumaru and Rin had found each other's companionship the days were still very monotonous. Perhaps saying that each day was exactly like the day before was a bit stereotypical but in Sesshoumaru's expert opinion, each day was exactly the same: Kawamori-sensei lectured for a while (during which Rin and Sesshoumaru would pass notes), showed them several art techniques and then they did a project. The worst projects had to be the ones involving clay, it was virtually impossible for Sesshoumaru to work the clay and keep it smooth because of his claws, each time he went to make a small detail a claw would score the clay's surface. There was nothing Sesshoumaru could do about his predicament, overworking clay had the tendency to overdry it, and dry clay was also impossible to work with (it cracked far too easily). Oh, he could add a little bit of water to the soft malleable substance but if he added too much water the clay would be no more firm than mud. That, however, was the least of Sesshoumaru's worries with the accursed clay, every time he worked with the damnable substance a small quantity would get stuck under his claws and harden making it a very tedious process to clean his hands. Sesshoumaru was ashamed to admit that he felt a twinge of envy towards Rin, she was truly an artist: she knew how to bend the accursed clay to her will; could coerce it into doing her bidding without overdrying or scarring the surface. It galled a little to know that a ningen could do something he could not, a serious blow to his pride and it infuriated him to know that he would never be able to best her in this particular field not to mention the fact that he lacked the creativity needed to actually make an easily identifiable subject. Rin enjoyed mocking him when they had to create these types of works, but she was too benevolent to mock him often and usually ended up helping him with his projects. It was shameful for him to accept her help, shameful for him to not do his own work, his work was his responsibility and it was inexcusable for him to shirk his responsibilities merely because he was not fully capable of performing them perfectly.
As the days went by he learned so much and yet so little about his ningen acquaintance, he could not bring himself to call her a friend even though it was blatantly obvious to everyone else that she was indeed his friend. Her artistic skills were the best he had ever seen, she admitted to him that it was not a natural talent but a skill she had spent years to perfect, it had cost countess tears, overwhelming frustration, and limitless patience and numerous classes to get her where she was and she never regretted a moment of it. Her work was not the sickeningly sweet kind that portrayed the world as perfect and beautiful, instead it portrayed the cruelty of the world (some of her drawings even made Sesshoumaru nauseous) and the beauty of unmarred nature. She was surprised by his reaction to one of her paintings, it was taken from Dante's The Divine Comedy, it portrayed the vestibule of Hell; and Sesshoumaru felt bile rise in the back of his throat as he viewed the grotesque images of suffering and decay. One could palpably feel the horror of the people in the Vestibule of Hell, almost feel the maggots crawling on their own skin, and could feel the overwhelming exhaustion they felt. Even the great Sesshoumaru, known for his indifference felt pity for the hapless creatures stuck in perpetual pain, such was the Vestibule of Hell, always chasing the flag that represented salvation and respite, chasing and grasping at it but never allowed to touch it.
She had drawn him once, once when Kawamori-sensei was lecturing, she drew the blue crescent moon on his forehead, the magenta stripes on his cheeks, the splashes of red on his eyelids, and his amber eyes. She once told him that it was his eyes that one never forgot, so callous and sinister resembling molten gold, that they pierced through ones soul and that nothing could be used as a barrier against them. However, the most surprising part of her drawing of him was that she drew him in his traditional youkai armor, with his two swords, and with his very fluffy fur pelt. When he questioned her about her knowledge of him owning a fur pelt she merely shrugged and said that Inuyasha told her and her friends about it once before and that she heard that Inutaisho-sama owned one and she assumed he would as well. The days turned into weeks and Sesshoumaru found himself spending time with her outside of school, how it all transpired he could not recall, but she even cajoled him into going to an art museum with her. It was rather interesting to see some of the works; the talent and realism in some shocked him, while the surrealism and abstractness of other left him irritated, it was evident that their creator was inept at whatever it was they attempted to portray wondering why othersconsidered them such masterpieces. During this outing he noticed that Rin carried two spiral-bound books with her, one turned out to be a sketchpad in which she drew what she liked best in some of the pieces, the other contained ruled paper in which she wrote down observations. He read what one of the sheets of paper read once; it contained various notes on color schemes (monochromatic, analogous, etc), the use of emphasis, balance, what type of balance, the type of symmetry (symmetrical, asymmetrical, or radial), perspective, media used, if there was any movement portrayed and how it was portrayed, and the pros and cons of the techniques used as well is countless other observations. Sesshoumaru decided that he never wanted to read any of the notes ever again, the words were simple but meaningless to him, and it was embarrassing to admit that he did not know what the majority of the words meant.
They found a minute small statue of a bear, painted brown and sand painted, and when Rin saw it she laughed because thought the bear appeared to be made of solid rock it was actually Styrofoam. Rin noticed Sesshoumaru's slightly perplexed expression and explained to him that to create a Styrofoam carving one took a large piece of Styrofoam carved it, sand papered it, glued on any fine details (ears, the nose, etc), and then painted it with two coats of gesso. After the gesso dried the artist painted the carving without worrying about the paint being absorbed into the Styrofoam, Rin made the process sound so effortless; however, she admitted that Styrofoam was very difficult to work with and often crumbled easily. She always explained the various techniques involved in creating many of the artworks displayed, attempted to help him understand the significance, the work involved, and she attempted to make him try to appreciate the reason for their title of Masterpiece. Sometimes, however, her explanations succeeded in only perplexing him even more (however, he refuted to admit that to anyone) but he felt that she already knew and decided not to press the matter, sometimes however she just became exasperated.
"Honestly, Sesshoumaru-kun, sometimes I wonder whether or not you really are from the elite part of our social caste, they're supposed to have decent tastes in art."
"A bit stereotypical, do you not think Rin, that statement is like me saying that all ningens had horrid hygiene which is not the case with several of the ningens I am aquatinted with, yourself included."
"I don't know Sesshoumaru-sama your tastes in art are the polar opposites of what Inuyasha-kun likes, then again perhaps it is the different temperaments the two of you possess, that or-."
"I understand Rin, my opinions in art are mediocre in your opinion, I believe that subject was covered last week."
"Fine, fine I shall stop pestering you over your, ahem, eclectic tastes in artworks, and give you a moment of respite, but only until the next time we come here," she answered with an unholy grin plastered across her face.
Sometimes it scared him-no he feared nothing – it disturbed him (yes that was acceptable) it disturbed him that she saw through his façade of cold indifference so effortlessly. Her uncanny ability to read peoples emotions and correctly interpret the subtle, very subtle in his case, changes in body language, allowed her to usually know what to say or when to drop a subject, the latter of course was very rare. However, her overwhelming enthusiasm was slightly more disturbing than her excellent perception abilities, and he found out the hard way that it was infectious.
"Sesshoumaru-kun, look, it's the painting of the Greek God Eros and the princess Psyche, whom the goddess Aphrodite was jealous of, so jealous that she wanted Eros to make Psyche fall in love with the ugliest thing she laid eyes on!" Rin cried enthusiastically running the words together as she ran towards the painting on canvas with Sesshoumaru trailing behind her - oblivious to the reason for her enthusiasm.
"Eros and Psyche, the sign says Cupid and Psyche, Rin perhaps you are mistaken," Sesshoumaru stated as he read the small plate beneath the painting that displayed both the name of the work and the artist who created it.
"Cupid and Eros are the same person Sesshoumaru-kun, the only difference is that one is the Roman name for the god of love and the other is the Greek name, honestly haven't you ever studied mythology?" she questioned in an amused voiced laced with an undercurrent of exasperation.
Sesshoumaru inwardly winced, he studied mythology albeit a very small amount and what he studied was limited only to East Asia he believing that the Western World did not have vary interesting myths and beliefs.
Rin eyed him carefully, "I'll tell you the story of Eros and Psyche, and a few others, on one condition, and it is that you promise to become more well-rounded in your knowledge of literature, the fine arts, and mythology and never limit yourself to any one particular area."
Sesshoumaru couldn't prevent the small smirk that appeared on his face, the little wench was giving him the opportunity to save his pride and help him better understand mythology from the entire world, or at least European mythology, and for that he felt grateful. "Alright, I agree to the terms," he answered cursing inwardly for letting the amusement he felt fill the words but as he watched her attempt to smother her giggles, he decided that the incident was insignificant.
"Very well, as I mentioned Eros, or Cupid as you called him, is the God of love and the son of the Greek goddess of love, beauty, and fertility Aphrodite also known as Venus in the Roman culture. Basically, Psyche was a beautiful princes said to rival Aphrodite in beauty and soon the people began to worship her and Aphrodite's temples stood empty devoid of offerings and sacrifices and the goddess started to age. Therefore she called her son Eros to her and ordered him to shoot Psyche with one of his magical arrows, they caused a person to fall in love with the first living thing they see human beast or other. Unfortunately for Aphrodite and fortunately for Psyche when Eros saw her he was entranced by her beauty and felt pity for what his mother told him to do was cruel and he didn't notice that the arrow fell from his bow and scratched his hand thus he immediately fell in love with Psyche," at this Sesshoumaru raised an elegant eyebrow. "Hey don't look at me, I didn't create this story the Greeks did and then the Romans borrowed and made their own improvements to it, I'm just explaining to you the tale behind this magnificent painting by Francois Gerard. Now, after this incident a spell came over Psyche an invisible hedge of thorns surrounded so none were able to near her, her parents became distressed and sought an oracle to find out the reason behind this awful situation for they wanted to marry Psyche off. The oracle told them that Psyche's husband was not a mortal man and that they needed to leave her on the mountain, her parents feared that she was destined to marry a monster. When Psyche was left alone the winds swept her up and carried her to a magnificent palace and all the servants turned out to be invisible, her husband Eros arrived at the home that night he appeared to be invisible and he told her that she could never look upon him."
"Permit me to guess the rest of the story, she disobeyed Eros and gazed upon him breaking his trust because she feared that her husband was a monster, he realized her treachery and abandoned her, yes?"
"Mhm, but after a series of ordeals that Aphrodite put her through the two lovers were allowed to remain together by the order of the Chief God, Zeus also know as Jupiter in Roman Mythology."
"A typical happy ending, however, unfortunately, real life does not function that way and is much more complicated than mythology."
"Yes, reality or should I say our perception of reality, is much different from mythology, for example we are not eternally youthful like the gods and goddesses."
"I believe that you misunderstood me Rin, I meant that life is far more complex that it is not as mediocre as mythology that relationships do not normally end in such happy endings."
"I understood you perfectly Sesshoumaru-kun, I understand that life is quite cruel and merely wished to lighten the mood, some say that I am overly optimistic."
"Optimism is not always a bad thing Rin, in truth it is often vary beneficial because it keeps hope alive and without hope life becomes excessively difficult to live."
Her laughter rang in his ears, "Really, Sesshoumaru-kun, you never cease to amaze me, I believe that is the most introspective thing I have ever heard you say, no wait that's a lie."
Sesshoumaru stared at his father's impassive face; his cool façade revealed nothing of the overwhelming confusion he felt inside. Inutaisho faced a serious dilemma one that involved his eldest son and the future owner of his company, since he felt that Inuyasha disliked the idea of working in a position full of paperwork. However, this was not the moment nor the place for him to chuckle over his youngest son's irrefutable irresponsibility towards work. Inuyasha held great potential in business however, he chose not to indulge his potential and that often left Inutaisho wondering what Inuyasha would do with his life.
Sesshoumaru felt the potent taste of confusion swell within him, his father rarely summoned him to his office since the day college started and the urgent message he received the previous day did little to qualm the feeling. The scent of male bafflement permeated the air however muted it was and Sesshoumaru knew that his father felt the same amount of confusion he did if not more, the question, however, was why.
Inutaisho leaned over the desk elbows resting on the table, stippled his long fingers, and rested them against his chin, his face still impassive as he peered at his son.
Sesshoumaru felt the urge to fidget under his father's scrutiny and promptly squashed it, fidgeting was quite undignified and it demonstrated weakness and Sesshoumaru refused to display either.
"Sesshoumaru," Inutaisho began feeling that perhaps he could make up what he needed to say as he went along, "I have a matter of utmost importance to discuss with you. It appears that-" Whatever Inutaisho needed to reveal to his son was interrupted by the irritating ringing of the phone on his desk. "Yes," he barked into the receiver half-relieved for the intrusion and half-irritated for the disturbance of his private conference when he clearly instructed that he desired no interruptions.
"Inutaisho-sama," came the soft voice of his ookami youkai secretary, "Myouga-sama requests an audience with you, I explained to him that you wanted no interruptions but he insisted that the matter was important and that "time was of the essence.""
Inutaisho stifled an exasperated sigh, whatever Myouga needed to tell him with such urgency could only be interpreted as bad news, "Very well, send him in." He turned looked at Sesshoumaru once more, "Sesshoumaru, I am afraid that this meeting was a waist of your time, but we will continue it at another date."
Sesshoumaru merely nodded once at his father, signifying his consent rose from his seat, bowed to his father and swiftly left the room, still confused by his father's strange actions.
Two years passed since the awkward meeting with his father and Sesshoumaru still found himself residing in Tokyo, a college graduate and still friends with the recently graduated ningen named Rin. He loathed to admit that Rin managed to worm her way into his life and that he cleaved to her the way a drowning man cleaved to anything that would keep him afloat long enough to be rescued or reach land. She balance out his frigid nature, showing enthusiasm, sorrow, and vary rarely jealousy, emotions that he did not indulge in for they were weaknesses. Yin and Yang, male and female, darkness and light, he represented the element the darkness while she portrayed the element light, equilibrium perfect balance that was what they were. A low growl of frustration escaped Sesshoumaru; it sickened him, he the great Sesshoumaru felt attached to a ningen, of all the creatures that roamed the earth he cared for a ningen, one of the weakest and most malevolent creatures. Not just any ningen his mind insisted, the ningen that he felt attached to went by the name of Rin and he ought to address her as so, for ningen was much too impersonal.
At the moment Sesshoumaru stood outside of the Akabeko waiting for said ningen's arrival and at a soft protest from his stomach –much to his embarrassment- for lunch. Youkai long ago learned the awful truth, that if they were to coexist with ningens they needed to accept cooked food, especially cooked meat and Sesshoumaru learned that beef was actually quite delicious cooked. Rin knew of his affinity, or as she called it his fetish, for beef and invited him to the Akabeko, a traditional style restaurant built in the eighteen hundreds and served a surprisingly delicious beef. From where he stood, directly outside the restaurant, and near the door he could smell the tantalizing aroma of the seasoned beef, green tea, rice, and the usual cooked vegetables. Sesshoumaru felt a glimmer a relief as his sensitive nose caught Rin's vary familiar scent, though he did not understand the embarrassment that laced it, and he heard the sound of footsteps event though the sounded hesitant.
"Gomen-nasai Sesshoumaru-kun, I hope that I didn't keep you waiting too long," she said nervously her eyes looking at everything except his face.
Sesshoumaru was surprised to see that she wore a gratuitous amount of make-up on her face, more specifically powder and the most make-up appeared to be near her left temple, though he doubted any ningen would notice. Well, that most certainly explained the embarrassment in her scent and the hesitance in her steps, she felt self-conscious about a blemish on her face and he supposed she felt fickle for trying to cover it up.
"Not at all Rin," he nonchalantly answered her, "however, shall we go in, I am ashamed to admit that I do feel an inkling of hunger and the Akabeko does serve delicious beef."
Her laughter tinkled in his ears and he noticed that the embarrassment vanished from her scent, "Well then, it isn't very smart to keep a ravenous youkai waiting for his meal, especially if his meal happens to contain something he loves to eat."
Sesshoumaru glared at Rin, he never mentioned that he felt ravenous and he most certainly did not love to eat beef, how dare she insinuate something so inconceivable. However, as he watched her smiling face he realized that all along he was fighting a losing battle against her, she reminded him too much of an innocent child at times, reminded him of a young Inuyasha.
"Sesshoumaru-kun, daijoubu desuka? Your face, well more specifically your eyes appeared to glaze over and you normally only get that way when you're in deep thought, do you want to discuss it?"
Sesshoumaru mentally shook himself out of his reverie, the past needed to remain in the past, and it did not bode well for him to dwell over the long overlooked days when he and Inuyasha actually had a friendly relationship.
"No Rin," he answered, "now is not the time to drudge up long buried thoughts, it is normally better to let sleeping dogs lie, and besides, as you said, I am ravenous."
She slowly nodded her head, understanding that whatever the matter was it was more than likely personal, that the wise thing to do was not to ask, and proceeded to enter the restaurant with him. A waitress seated at a low table that contained a pot of tea and two cups and give them menus stating that she would return shortly to take their orders.
Sesshoumaru found himself once more in his father's office, seated once more before the same dark colored desk, the only difference was that two years passed since he found himself in the same situation. Sesshoumaru hoped that this time there were no interruptions, for his Father's erratic behavior peaked his curiosity and this time he needed answers. Sesshoumaru loathed impertinence and rarely indulged in the ill-mannered act, however, this time he felt that impertinence was the only solution left open to him, for his impatience rivaled that of his curiosity.
"Father," Sesshoumaru began, "not to be impertinent, but this Sesshoumaru wishes to know the reason for this meeting that you postponed for two years. I am also obliged to say that I do not wish you to waste time in attempting to make your answers eloquent, I just want the answers and two years is time enough."
Inutaisho did not appear to be surprised at his eldest son's declaration, he too knew that the matter needed to be resolved that Sesshoumaru needed to know of the circumstance before it became too late.
"Yes Sesshoumaru, I have postponed this meeting long enough, and you do need answers, answers that I am embarrassed to say that I do not know how to give, so bear with me."
Sesshoumaru nodded his understanding, masking his shock that his father, Inutaisho, was unprepared, "Very well father, I will listen to whatever it is that you need to tell me."
"Sesshoumaru, you do remember our meeting from six years ago, yes, when I informed you of my decision of sending you to college, a college that also accepted ningens. Well, that day I neglected to tell you something extremely important, the real reason that I summoned you to my office was not even remotely similar to the one I gave you however both affect your future. Sesshoumaru, you are a young demon barely in your prime and I hate what I am about to tell you that you must do, there is no acceptable alternative and it can no longer be overlooked. Sesshoumaru, you need to find a mate, the heads of our affiliates feel that in order for you to fully be able to handle the duty of running a business you need to have experience in responsible situations, they feel that having a mate will provide these situations. If you chose not to find a mate I am afraid that," Inutaisho paused for a moment almost afraid to go on, "I am afraid that Inuyasha will be my successor instead of you. There is another reason for no longer putting this matter off, your time is running out at first it was fifty-seven years but now you only have one."
Sesshoumaru stared at his father in barely concealed disbelief, preposterous, simply preposterous, he was to find a mate within one year and if he did not Inuyasha would succeed his father instead of him. The idea was ludicrous, condemning, and Sesshoumaru felt cold fury start to envelope his mind turning his vision red.
"Let me make sure I understand this situation correctly," Sesshoumaru growled, "I am expected to find a mate within one year or else Inuyasha will inherit the business in my stead, is this correct?"
Inutaisho slowly nodded, he knew his son was angry, knew his son felt hurt at this revelation and he knew that if anyone needed to bear the blame it was he, for he wasted too much time, and he lost his son's trust for not telling him sooner.
"Father, are you aware of the difficulty I shall have finding an adequate mate in such a short time, why did you wait so long in telling me and why did you not attempt to revoke the decision?"
"I tried Sesshoumaru, I didn't tell you earlier because I hoped that maybe you would find a mate on your own and I tried to revoke the decision but unless you obtain a mate within a year you will never be accepted as my successor, forgive me Sesshoumaru. However, I find it somewhat hard to believe that in the six years you spent in Tokyo you never became acquainted with a female, it is preposterous to think that you remained friendless for those six years and Inuyasha mentioned someone by the name of Rin."
"Rin, is merely an acquaintance, and she is a ningen, that makes her unsuitable as a mate, while it is true that I enjoy her company I can not take her as my mate."
"Sesshoumaru please"
"If that is all you needed to tell me Father then I shall take my leave, I wish to leave for Tokyo as soon as possible."
I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world is falling apart
Why is everything so hard?
I don't think I can deal
With the things you said
Itjust won't go away
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all
Simple Plan – Perfect World
It's true, Styrofoam is a pain to work with, it so fragile that you could break the piece in half if your not careful, that or you can break off a small piece that cannot be glued back on. Also, it makes the largest mess…. The Styrofoam ends up all over your hands, hair, clothes, desk, everywhere….so make sure you don't sneeze .:..But the end result is pretty nice…. sand painted things, especially if you use dark paint such as brown or black, creates the illusion of stone and makes the object appear to be heavier than it is. : sigh: I miss the days when I actually had the space in my schedule to take or do art (doodling doesn't really count)….oh well, c'est la vie.