This chapter was originally intended to be chapter seven however, I fell behind in chapter six and so now it is chapter eight. I'm afraid that this one more or less focuses on the "present" when Sesshoumaru has already mated Rin and only flashes back to the past a few times in the entire chapter. The rest of the story will continue in the present with a few allusions to the past but no flashbacks.

Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No

Chapter 8

Months passed since Inuyasha's discussion with Sesshoumaru, and the more time that passed the more nervous Sesshoumaru became because he was still futilely searching for a mate. He found himself in Rin's apartment once again watching her paint a still life of fruits with oil paints, with the glass doors leading to the balcony open of course to aid with ventilation. He sat as close to the open doors as possible, avoiding the smell of paint while still maintaining optimum visibility of her work as he peered over her shoulder, an easy task considering the fact that she was shorter than him by almost a foot.

"You know what you need Sesshoumaru-kun," she suddenly began, "a vacation, time to get away from this insane search of a mate and relax for a while."

Sesshoumaru inwardly scoffed at the idea, "Rin, you know as well as I that my time is limited I have no time to indulge in insipid activities, no leisure time."

"True, nevertheless, if you continue your search in a state of agitation you won't think clearly and your judgement might end up skewed, and that is a disastrous combination. Besides, Fluffy, just because you're a full blooded inu youkai does not mean that you don't also need to rest."

He growled at her, "I am not Fluffy."

She turned to look at him, smirking, "Your fur pelt denotes otherwise. Come on Sesshoumaru-kun, lighten up, take a deep breath, step back and evaluate your life, go to the beach, do something."

"The beach?" he asked with while arching an eyebrow.

"The Boso-hanto Peninsula, remember it's the land mass that contains Minami Chikura Beach and Setohama Beach not to mention Shira-hama Beach and Onjuku Beach."

"I know what beaches lie on the peninsula, Rin, however I still refuse to go."

"Sesshoumaru-kun, you need a break, and you're getting out of this city for some personal relaxation time even if I have to tie you up, drag you out to the beach, and drop you on the sand myself."

"You lack the strength to sedate me, Rin."

"I give up! Fine, wear yourself out, it's your mind and body."

"My well-being worries you this much Rin?"

"I told you once before Sesshoumaru-kun, you're my friend therefore, I'm supposed to care about your well being."

"Very well, I shall indulge you this once for I believe that the idea has merit," he replied after contemplating her words and pretended not to hear her snort of disbelief and her mutterings, merit indeed.

---

There was something almost soothing about the way the waves' ebb and flow, peaceful almost due to the fact that the season for traveling to the beach was over, the water far too cold. Sesshoumaru understood why Rin recommended he traverse here, the difference between the vast and serene ocean compared to the constant motion of Tokyo with its blinding lights, posters, traffic, and cramped spaces left little to chose between. The ocean was something he'd almost forgotten, the quite roar, and the brackish smell of the water, the soft moist sand and the white of the sea foam. He was an inu youkai, and he needed nature to some extent, he needed to be near to it as all youkai needed to be near to nature, to step away from the concrete and mortar that encased much of the world, they needed it to survive. Unlike ningens, youkai felt a stronger connection to nature, some youkai such as the Tenrai Youkai, who embodied an element of nature-thunder and lightning- needed to feel the earth and breathe pure air more than other youkai. Rin was correct in her assumption that being near to the water and all things associated with the ocean was enough to ease his agitated mind, he felt something akin to loathing that she noticed his weakness so easily. He continued to gaze at the expansion of water spread out before him, the sun was setting casting orange, gold, pink, violet, and red tints of color in the water and in the sky, it was pretty picture. He pictured Rin standing before him with her canvas set up in the sand painting the image before her with great ardor, oblivious to her surroundings her mind focused on the task at hand.

Sesshoumaru sighed, four months, that was all the time that remained for his search and it proved harder and harder to find a female youkai as time passed, perhaps Rin was correct in stating that he expected too much, however, he didn't want to loathe his chosen mate.

----

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and stared at the white ceiling above him, by the sounds coming from the outdoors dawn was fast approaching and he wondered when he fell asleep, it was a surprising revelation and for some reason he felt that something was out of place. There was warm breathe on his skin, an arm draped across his torso, a familiar weight on his shoulder, and an unfamiliar weight on his leg, evidently Rin shifted during her sleep, he turned his head to look at her and noticed that sometime during the night she kicked the covers of the bed-this was not unusual she'd done it many nights during the earlier stages of her illness- however he was unprepared to see that her gown was bunched up around her thighs exposing the majority of her legs and that one of them was draped casually over his own. That explained the unfamiliar weight, and as Sesshoumaru contemplated the easiest method of disentangling himself from his mate without waking her he realized what was wrong, Rin's scent changed sometime during the night. Cursing inwardly he moved slowly out of the bed -Rin moving slightly at the sudden loss of warmth- picked up the comforter from the floor and covered Rin with it tucking it around her shoulders, making her decent for when Jaken arrived with her breakfast later that morning. He cursed inwardly again; he'd been a fool, her illness preoccupying him so much that he forgot an important date forgot that her moon time approached. He never spent time with Rin during her the days before her monthly flux nor the days that followed immediately after it, he knew it was her most fertile time and his weakest time-the change in her scent appealed to his youkai blood-to the basic primal drives and the fact that she was his mate did little to sedate him. He needed to control his actions for he bore no desire to sire worthless hanyou such as Inuyasha, however, the resolve was difficult to maintain during this time. The more animalistic part of his mind screamed that she was his mate and that it was his right to take her, to claim her, however the rational part managed to keep this unwanted side under wraps.

He married Rin, however, while it was little better than an arranged marriage it still was not a marriage of convenience for it only suited his needs not hers, his decision bordered shameful, he decided to chose her as his mate because there were no other options because his time was limited. In order to sedate his guilt he allowed Rin to make all the decisions regarding their wedding, however she wanted a small traditional Shinto wedding that only included close friends and family as guests, that was impossible due to his family's status and his position in the business world. An agreement was reached, two wedding ceremonies took place, a large western style wedding for the everyone who knew him and his family to attend, including business partners, and countless youkai acquaintances. A smaller Shinto wedding ceremony included only immediate family and close friends, and Rin looked happier in her crimson silk kimono embroidered with heron and reeds with its green and gold obi than in the white western-style gown. Despite common belief, that he'd bedded a human, he never divulged the truth of their situation to anyone (excluding Jaken) and he knew Rin well enough to assume her confidence as well, their marriage remained unconsummated. They slept in the same bed, lived in the same home, but he never touched infringed upon her honor, he'd wounded it enough by thrusting her into a loveless marriage. A marriage without children, however, Sesshoumaru was loathed to admit that if his Father ever interrogated him on the conspicuous absence of an heir his resolve might not withstand it. Even so, it did not matter what he felt, the fact that an heir was needed never escaped Rin's notice and she knew that their wedding night was quite unorthodox.

---

Sesshoumaru unlocked the door to his family's estate on the shores of the Sea of Japan. It was the former home of the Lords of the Western Lands but due to the change in society it transformed into a vacation home of sorts. His father was somewhat depressed to see the ancient and noble compound destroyed, the shoji doors ripped and the tatami floor mats burned but insisted that it must be done for modernization. Lord of the Western Lands, that ought to have been his title but in modern society that title was an empty one. He noticed that Rin was enamored with the estate from the beginning and it was apparent to him that she loved the ocean, something about the continuous ebbing and flowing of the waves mesmerized her soothed her as it soothed him. After the initial shock of seeing the two story home wore off, she'd never seen a home that large and with so much terrain, land was sparse in Japan and in Tokyo empty space was a luxury very few obtained. He was lucky, due to his families connections Inutaisho found and rented one of the few apartments in Tokyo that provided Sesshoumaru with adequate living space, the apartment was spacious and Rin's entire studio apartment measuring 350 square feet easily fit within it. Their wedding drew to a close several hours earlier, much of that time was spent driving to the estate, and he noticed that for the first time since they'd met Rin was uncomfortable around him, the change in her scent alerted him to the fact. Sesshoumaru stepped into the foyer and looked around the small room and at the staircase that led up to the second floor; Inuyasha and his friends spent the days before insuring that the estate was suitable inhabitation, it was evident due to the lingering scents inside the house. It did not take much to finish the preparations, merely a trip to the grocery store to pick up food and other household necessities, some cleaning of the oriental rugs and hardwood floors and dusting of several surfaces. Sesshoumaru walked out of the foyer, bypassed the staircase walked through the breakfast room and into the informal living room - family room, anther empty title, there was never a time when the entire family leisurely passed their time in this place, Sesshoumaru repudiated to acknowledge the estate as a home. No, he was wrong there were a few times when Inuyasha was young that he, Inutaisho, Izayoi, and Inuyasha had spent holidays here, but during the majority of that time, Sesshoumaru watched over Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru inwardly seethed at the recollection of the year Inuyasha started teething, just because Inuyasha was only half inu youkai did not mean that there was not any inu in him, Sesshoumaru was the unfortunate victim of losing many shoes at the hands -or rather the mouth and teeth- of Inuyasha. However, Inuyasha did not stop at only the shoes, no that was much too kind and considerate, Inuyasha also gnawed at his beautiful white fur pelt which denoted his status a taiyoukai and as an inu youkai.

"Sesshoumaru, daijoubu desu ka? You seem to be angry about something, what is it?" The pungent odor of her fear compelled him into answering, the smell of fear was not something he was unaccustomed to, but he never wanted such a repulsive scent to permeate from her.

"It is nothing Rin, I was merely remembering Inuyasha as a pup, a teething pup," at his quiet remark the smell almost dissipated completely, instead it was smothered with the light scent of amusement tinged with undertones of uncertainty.

He turned to look at Rin and saw her mischievous smile, "Really, I understand now, but did you not teethe at one point as well? I am sure that your father knows exactly what you felt for Inuyasha."

Against his will Sesshoumaru felt his face growing warm, he quickly turned his face so that Rin was unable to see his unbecoming blush. How she managed to do it he was unsure but she was always the voice of reason when he told her of his antipathy regarding Inuyasha. Conversely, she also took great pleasure in embarrassing him whenever the opportunity presented itself, rare as it was it also caused him to grudgingly accept the fact that she possessed some type of leash on him because he permitted her to do as she pleased with him. Within reason of course, and she normally treated him the respect his dignity and pride deserved, except in times such as these. Sesshoumaru repressed a growl at Rin's impudence, he tolerated her audacious comments for far too long, and she now felt that she was entitled to give him her opinion regardless of what it did to his pride. It was bad enough that she occasionally addressed him as "Fluffy" but now she said that he and Inuyasha were exactly alike, heinous. Vivacious creature that she was, not to mention that she was also a sanguine, there was not much that he could do to sway her wayward mannerism, still it galled a little that she took such liberties with him. He was not some pet that she kept merely to amuse her one that "sat" on command, played fetch, and rolled over merely for a dog treat, and he vowed to teach her to treat him with the dignity he deserved and not to continue insulting his vanity. However, Sesshoumaru grudgingly admitted to himself that the notion was unfounded and that he'd no sooner cut off one of his own limbs than attempt to alter Rin's personality, because it was her personality that so endeared her to him.

Her light laughter resonated in his ears, "Am I embarrassing you, Fluffy? I'm so sorry if I dredge up uncomfortable memories, but might I say that you look extremely kawaii with that blush spread across your cheeks, it reminds me of a little four year old who has just seen a girl he likes."

This time Sesshoumaru was unable to restrain himself, he growled at her, and one long fang slipped out his mouth, "Do not address me as Fluffy, you know I hate it when you call me that because it is demeaning, degrading, tactless, gaudy, it is all of those things and more."

Rin did not answer him, just smiled, and continued to survey the family room, Sesshoumaru felt something akin to regret for not bringing her to this place sooner. However, a yawn from Rin brought him out of his reverie, it was a taxing day and she was no doubt tired since her fragile ningen body was not as accustomed to such a exertion. He slowly turned around and returned to the foyer, heading for the stairs he began to ascend them making sure that Rin was following him, it would do no good to have her get lost on the way to his-their room. As he continued his steady climb up the stairs the pungent odor that pestered him since their arrival at the estate returned full force, what caused her to behave in this manner bothered him, but he refused to question her. The second floor consisted of five bedrooms and four bathrooms as well as a small upstairs room that was more of a landing than anything else for the staircase led directly to it.

Sesshoumaru pointed to the door on his right and turned to look at Rin, "The Master Suite is right there, the master bath will be to your right and the closet to your left, go to sleep you need your rest. I'll be in the den finishing some paperwork." With that he turned and walked down the stairs back to the first floor of the estate, ignoring the confused look that crossed Rin's face. It was that look that clarified the reason for Rin's uneasiness, she was worried about the accursed wedding night, Sesshoumaru decided that he'd let her sleep and explain the facts to her in the morning.

---

Sesshoumaru walked into the closet and picked up a change of clothes, and readied himself for the day taking care to remain quite less he woke Rin, he walked out of the bedroom and went in search of Jaken.

"Milord Sesshoumaru is something the matter?"

"Indeed there is Jaken," Sesshoumaru answered, "I need you to watch over Rin while I am gone, for it appears that it is her moon time once again. When you take her breakfast to her inform her of my departure. If I return to find that she has had a relapse in her health, I will kill you Jaken."

"Understood, milord."

Time passed and soon Rin was well once more, although Jaken insisted that she not overexert herself, for her body was still quite weak and he feared his lord's anger, for if she became ill once more then without a doubt Sesshoumaru would blame Jaken.

Sesshoumaru returned from a business meeting to find Rin in the garden staring at a sheet of paper set up on her easel on which a line had been drawn and erased several times, as he approached he saw Rin redraw the line and erase it once again not acknowledging the bit of the brown wood of the easel that peaked out through the paper. This uncharacteristic behavior worried him more than when she was ill and as he approached her he noticed that her eyes were unfocused staring off into space a look of regret on her face.

"Rin, daijoubu desu ka?"

She jumped at his voice before hurriedly turning around to look at him, "Hai, daijoubu." He stared at her, not believing her words and watched her shift uncomfortably before she opened her mouth to speak once more, "Kagome-chan came to see me today, to give me a bit of," she struggled for words," good news, she is with child-you're going to be an Uncle, Sesshoumaru."

The news startled Sesshoumaru, he knew that Inuyasha married the young woman two years ago, one year after he married Rin, but everyone saw their marriage as an experiment. Inuyasha was one of the few hanyou that managed to survive into adulthood and the only hanyou who managed to find a mate, well the only hanyou that they knew of, and noone knew if he if he was capable of producing an heir-now they knew.

"It appears that something new is being learned everyday, doesn't it Sesshoumaru. I know what the general fear with hanyous was the possibility of them being sterile, just like when you crossbreed different animals of the same family but different species the offspring normally turns out to be sterile. It appears that ningens and youkai are related enough that they can produce a non-sterile offspring, I guess that the only real difference between the two species-ignoring the obvious fact that youkai are more powerful and their senses are better evolved- is the fact that demons age much slower than humans. But Sesshoumaru, we both know that aging is a disease, when the caps on the chromosomes of the DNA begin to unravel causing the DNA to deteriorate when the cells divide, making the cells appear to be older. In youkai, the caps unravel at a much slower rate due to some chemicals naturally produced by the body, we both also know that scientists have found ways to stop the cap from unraveling and within the next few years humans can live to be one-hundred and fifty years old-"

"And still look like they're thirty," Sesshoumaru finished for her. "I know, and the fact that youkai are more attuned to the five main senses is inaccurate, ningens have a very good sensory system however in order to use them they must concentrate on one particular sense, youkai however do it subconsciously-its an automated internal mechanism, similar to breathing. We just don't think about it. I know, soon ningens will also have the same life span of youkai, and the only things that will separate us is the-" here Rin interrupted him.

"The fact that youkai are more attuned to nature, more attuned to the elements they embody the strengths of nature such as wind, thunder, lightning, snow, and a various array of animals. They've adapted to the environment better than ningens, are more inclined to follow their primal drives-survival of the fittest and that type of thing. However, youkai reproduce to continue their species, I've noticed that most youkai have few offspring usually one or two, ningens, however, can have many more than that. The problem with that is the drastic increase in population, if we succeed in our quest for immortality."

"Nature seeks to be balanced and to remain at equilibrium, if the balance is shifted nature will act immediately to reach equilibrium once again, global warming the melting of the glaciers, however, if ningens upset the balance then nature will take decisive action to restore balance."

"And destroy ningens."

"A rather dangerous situation, not because ningens are striving for immortality but because they cannot control their population."

"We're bringing about our own destruction."

"It certainly appears that way."

"I guess ningens can now say that are closest relatives are not primates but youkai, ne?" she asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He nodded, if Rin knew that Inuyasha sired a child then his father also knew and that meant that he wold be expected to sire an heir as well, and the fact that ningens and humans were not so different after all-while not a recent revelation- never struck him as fiercely as id did then.

I see
You've turned your back on love again
And I feel
Your stumbling down that road again

And I feel
Despair kissing our lips again
And I feel
Despair holding our hearts again, yeah

H.I.M (His Infernal Majesty) - Again