Disclaimer: I don't own the OC
Chapter Eight
The hospital had finally quieted down and a silence haunted the hallways and crept through the doors. Night nurses sat at desks watching late night TV on mute as others walked the halls checking on the patients. The lights had been finally dimmed casting an almost heavenly light in the darkening rooms. Occasional burst of tears or moans were heard, but for the most part it was silent. Ryan Atwood walked down the hallway and stopped at the door of his wife's room. Steeling himself, he pushed the door open releasing his breath in a whoosh. Marissa sat propped up in the bed with the remote in her hand. Looking at the TV, he recognized a rerun of I Love Lucy and watched as Marissa laughed softly at the antics on screen. He felt himself being torn into two. Whatever Seth had forced him to eat rebelled and started churning angrily. Making a fist, he turned and closed the door behind.
Marissa turned startled and smiled a tired grin. "Hey, I was wondering where you went off to. I woke up, and you were gone."
"Sorry, I…I didn't want to disturb you so I went for a walk." He felt his voice shake slightly and steeled himself. She looked up at him calculating and patted the bed next to her. Walking over quickly, he climbed in next to her as she scooted over to make room. "I don't think I'm supposed to be in the bed too, Riss." He signed as she leaned her head against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his torso. He felt her smile against his cheek.
"I don't know about you. But I don't think we were ever ones to follow the rules." She glanced up through tired lashes and gently traced his lips. Leaning down, Ryan kissed her tenderly full of warmth, comfort, and peace trying to convey that everything was going to be okay. She signed contently, and murmured. "I have been cold all day. Nothing could warm me up. Not even a couple of blankets and the heat turned up. Now, I feel incredibly warm." Placing a kiss on his forehead as she starred into his eyes, "Do you know what you do to me?"
Watching as her eyes grew slightly darker with passion; he leaned down and kissed her desperately willing her to stay with him forever. She broke apart gasping and nearly climbed into his lap wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning her head against his chest. Ryan rubbed her back as she let herself fall into him completely almost begging for him to take away the fear. Silence descended the small room as the two individual became lost in their own thoughts.
Marissa felt herself begin to fidget, unable to stand the silence. Looking up at his closed eyes, she felt something inside of her start to break. "Ryan…" she started unable to go on but unable to stop at the same time.
Ryan opened his eyes and found himself drowning in his wife's blue eyes just like his daughter's. Swallowing, he placed a kiss on her forehead and glanced back into her eyes trying to determine how close she was coming to breaking down. He saw fear and worry surrounding her darker orbs, but what surprised him was the strength and courage pouring from her glance. She had changed since becoming a wife and mother. It took more to break her nowadays. Still, he couldn't do this to her, but he had to. With his two hands, he clasped her face into his hands and made her look at him in the eye. She met his stare straight on gripping his arms for strength more than balance. "The test results came back." She said nothing, but kept on starring into his eyes emotionlessly. "They found a mass, a tumor. Marissa, you have a tumor in your brain." He saw her eyes widen slightly and the fear came lurking beneath the shadowy depths. He felt himself start to crumble and a lone tear dripped down his face. He wanted to take away her pain.
Marissa looked at him puzzled and gently caught the tear on her finger. Ryan never cried. Leaning over, she placed her forehead against his while never allowing her eyes to leave his. She watched as he reached up and brushed gently at her cheeks. She was surprised to see his fingers wet, she had not even known she was crying. How long they sat like that starring into each others' eyes, they did not know.
Trying to find warmth and comfort, Ryan pulled her even closer until not even a breath separated them. He could smell her strawberry shampoo and slightly baby powered smell from Grace. Tracing her features as if he was trying to memorize her face, he saw her slowly close her eyes. Thinking she had fallen asleep, he was startled when she opened her eyes and started speaking.
"I'm not going to leave you or the girls, Ryan." She gazed into his eyes and spoke each word carefully. "I'm going to beat this, we all are." Smiling gently in the silver moonlight she continued, "I want to see Grace start kindergarten, get into fights with Nealy because you know that is going to happen (Ryan chuckled slightly at that wondering how she could still make him laugh), watch Ella go on to college, and grow old with you rocking on the front porch…" She stumbled slightly with her words and glanced up at Ryan with liquid glistening on her eyelashes.
In that moment, Ryan could just stare in awe at the woman that was his wife. Placing a sweet kiss on her lips, he felt their strength pour into each other making each stronger. Watching as she readjusted herself in his arms, she drifted off to sleep as Ryan slowly stroked her long hair tangling down her back. Lying in the tiny hospital bed with silver moonlight glittering around the two, he looked down at his wife and whispered, "I love you."
Slowly her eyes drifted open and she gave him a lazy smile, "I love you." Breathing deeply, she went back to sleep tightening her grip around him. Tightening his own arms around her desperate to have her as close as possible, he watched her slip off to sleep. With her tangled hair, too pale face, and slightly smudged black rings under her eyes, Ryan never thought she looked more beautiful and felt another tear drip down his face.
To be continued! Sorry that was a little mushy, but I felt that it had to be.