Chapter 2:

The Fallen Confidence

Akira decided to walk to school that day, trying to sort his mind out. Why? What made him constantly thinking about this? He usually didn't care about what others thought of him, but it felt like a need, like he couldn't go on without someone close to understand him. He sighed as he quickly walked on.

The day was bright and cheery, but Akira's eyes glimmered with a heavy melancholy air. Walking into the doors of Kaio Middle School, he set his bag in his locker and grabbed what he needed for his class.

"What is wrong with me?" Akira mumbled.

Noticing that he just thought aloud again, he would just tread onto the next classes.

The classroom was clean and well up kept. Akira then found his seat, and the teacher began his daily lecture. He would always go into the most explicit detail, and so the lectures would go on for what seemed like forever. Trying to be attentive, Akira's mind wandered off into the distance. This was overly irregular for him, and it drove him further wondering why.

Entirely, the day went on like this. Yun-sensei knew Akira always would tend to sit in the corner and study, so he didn't say anything. On the outside he stayed calm, yet his thoughts were raging.

So after school, he rushed upstairs to further study Go and to get away from the world. It comforted Akira, yet it hurt him. He thought of all the good things he had, but it was starting to help less and less.

Akira suddenly heard his father's heavy footsteps on the old wooden stairways. His expression deepened and he tried to act like he didn't know his father was coming.

The door creaked open and Akira couldn't help but to feel judged by his father's presence. This happened every day, but the feeling was always the same.

"Let's play a game. I want to see how far you've come," he said, kneeling at the board.

Akira glared with full intensity, yet he felt somewhat distracted. His mind lingered off to why he was acting so testy all of the sudden. His playing went on an autopilot, but it wasn't nearly as advanced as when he faced it with his full attention.

"This isn't your best Akira," Kouyo spoke, looking to his son, "For some reason, are you intimidated by me?"

"No," Akira replied coldly, "It's nothing."

Akira was trembling at the thought his father found out that he felt judged. Then, that would just lead to conflict. He couldn't let his father know about the ache in his heart, because that would make him look weak.

"I haven't seen you play like this since you were . . . five years old!" Kouyo exclaimed.

Akira stared at the board, noting that he did play horribly. It made him feel worse that it was in front of his father. Why today, he would ask himself.

"I . . . I know I played horribly, father," Akira stammered.

He hadn't looked into his father's eyes for what seemed like a century. He couldn't. It hurt too much.

Kouyo left promptly, and Akira sat by the board. How could he have played in such a manner? Now, his focus had decreased. By the tone of his father's voice, he sounded displeased. Akira felt like a failure.

Why couldn't he ever seem to please his father? He never said a word, just guided him and helped him move forward, gave him the opportunities and such. Not a word of praise, and that made him feel like he wasn't even accepted as his son. It added onto the things Akira was constantly pelting himself about.

Downstairs, he heard his mother and father talking through the thin wooden floors.

"One thing that Akira does that if a true mistake was that he never lets go of things. He just keeps on destroying himself from the inside. I'm worried. What is wrong with poor Akira-chan?" Akira's mother asked.

"He's probably on the edge because of the latest events. Whatever it is, it's pulverizing his game," Kouyo replied.

"You've never told him that you cared, or that you are proud of his effort. Can't you think of your own son for once?" she asked again, this time more emotional.

Kouyo looked his wife in the eye, seeing the true worry about her son. It was almost like she was feeling Akira's pain right with him. He admired how she always saw these things. She was far more compassionate than Kouyo ever was.

Akira felt even more intimidated now. His father got the idea. What would be his reaction? Would his trust of Akira fall further down the drain?