Disclaimer: I don't own the OC

Chapter 11

Christmas had come and gone in great burst of bright emotion. There had been a yellow tinge full of happiness, green with envy over a sister's gift, red tints full of anger, and dripping blue of tears. Overall, it was a Christmas to be remembered and cherished for years to come. The cottage by the sea sat contently on the cliffs overlooking the ocean leaving its occupants to their lives. Life for a moment was peaceful and controlled. However, it is amazing how fast life can change in a single instant and nothing can return as it was.

Ryan Atwood stood impatiently in the hallway holding the door open and hollered again up the stair, "I'm about to leave right now. I really don't care if all of you are in the car or not, because that means more desert for me. So…" pausing for effect, Ryan strained his ears trying to hear if people were moving around upstairs, "I'm leaving!" He smirked as he heard a shriek and a groan from somewhere upstairs.

"Daddy," whined Ella barreling down the stairs and sticking her tongue out at him. "That's not fair! I want ice cream, too! I just couldn't find Carebear, but I found him in Gracie's room. See?"

Ryan glanced down at the old bear that had faded to an almost whitish look with a green color. Memories hit him, making him smile down at his daughter.

"Ryan, our child is going to want a stuff animal of some sort and I can't pick one!" Marissa wailed while pacing around the toy store. "I'm a horrible mother already!"

Ryan didn't know whether or not to laugh or grimace. At almost nine months pregnant, Marissa (and himself) was ready for this baby to be born. There had been tears, screams, laughs, but Ryan had been tiptoeing around Marissa this past week. She had been a basket case yelling at anybody who got in her way or crying at the smallest thing. However, as he glanced over at her, and he couldn't help the smile that spread over his face. She was absolutely gorgeous. Her hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail that fell down her back and her stomach was like a basketball underneath the flowing shirt she wore. Very little makeup graced her face, and she glowed naturally from the pregnancy. Sometimes, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. "Marissa," he said, walking over to her and stepping in her path. Looking her in the eyes, he pulled her into his arms and signed happily as her stomach bumped him reminding him that everything was worth it.

"Marissa, everything is going to be fine. You are going to be a great mother, and this child is going to be loved by everybody." He smiled down at her and placed a sweet kiss on her lips.

Smiling up at him, she looped her arms around his neck and leaned back in the circle of his arms. "You know…you are going to be a great Dad, too." Leaning over, she placed a kiss on his nose and giggled as Ryan made a funny face at her.

"You know what? I just remembered a certain bear that always watched over its loved ones with a certain stare…"

Marissa's face lit up and she said hurriedly, "Carebear, that's perfect Ry!"

"We don't need to be here anymore, let's go home." He steered her toward the door while keeping an arm around her shoulders before she saw something else they must have for the baby.

She turned to him and looked up charmingly while pouting her lips knowing Ryan couldn't resist that look. Trying to frown at her, but unable Ryan groaned and asked, "What do you want?" Nodding her head toward a stand, she pulled him along by the hand to the ice cream shop and smiled blissfully at all the choices.

"So do you want to split a sundae?" Ryan asked eyeing his wife with a slight smile waiting for the burst that was about to come.

"Share? Share? I don't think so buddy. We are quite hungry today and feel like the Monster Sundae and…"

Ryan laughed and pulled her into a hug while whispering into her ear, "I love you…"

He never imagined himself a family man. Sure marriage was always perhaps a goal, but more out of convenience or necessity rather than love. Marissa had changed all that. Having three daughters was truly a gift, but sometimes a curse. Sometimes he felt like was going to go crazy in a house filled with strawberry shampoo, soap puffs, makeup, and pink everywhere! "Go get in the car, El."

"Nealy! I'm going to beat you to the car!" Giggling like a little maniac, Ella raced outdoors leaving Nealy yelling at her upstairs.

"Dad!" Nealy burst out hopping down the stairs trying to get one purple high-top on and holding the other in her hand. "Ella took my shoes and hid them from me! And…"

"Slow down Nealy!" Ryan laughed at his oldest daughter and letting her balance on his arms while wiggling her foot into her shoe. "Just go get into the car and make sure not to argue with your sister." Watching Nealy race out the door, Ryan wondered when did he turn into such a Dad? He didn't even have one growing up until the Cohen's came into the picture. A crash had him wincing, and he watched as the umbrella stand teetered from Nealy's hasty exit and he hastened to pick it up. Leaning down, he felt a pair of eyes of his back. Straightening up, he smiled up at Marissa standing on top of the stairs with her hands full of Grace. "Enjoying the view?"

"Most certainly. I must admit that it is a mighty fine view." She gave him a sly smile and sauntered down the stairs only pausing to pick up her bag and grabbing a toy for Grace.

"You finally are ready, right? No more, I forgot something or I have to use the bathroom…"

"I'm finally ready, but wait…" she teased him watching his face scrunch up, "I think I did actually forget…"

"No, no we are leaving now. I don't care what you forgot, it can't be that important. We have all three girls and one mom and one dad. All the important stuff is taken care of." Grabbing Grace's nose as she giggled up at him, he took Marissa's hand and dragged her out of the house amidst her laughs as he hurriedly opened her door and helped her into the car. He rubbed his temple feeling a headache coming on. Opening the door, he immediately heard Ella and Nealy arguing over a tv show and Marissa kept turning around trying to keep the girls apart. "Remind me again why we decided to have kids, especially three," he groaned as Marissa smiled sweetly at him.

However, her words boarder on sarcastic "Well, I think it started when…

Marissa almost ran into Ryan's office. Walk Marissa, walk, she kept reminding herself. Hurrying into the room, she almost banged into a man passing by with a big stack of papers. "Sorry George," she huffed out and without pausing headed straight toward her husband's office.

"Mrs. Atwood, wait! Mr. Atwood is in with a client and…"

"I'm sorry Jean, this won't take long. I just need to see him for a minute." Ignoring Jean's protest, Marissa banged the door open and stood trying to catch her breath.

"Marissa? Is everything okay?" Ryan asked worriedly standing up from his desk and looking closely at his wife. Her hair was all askew and her face flushed a rosy tint. Somewhere in the process she had put on two different shoes and her dress hung at a crooked angle. She looked caught between tears and something else that Ryan couldn't quite identify.

"Is everything okay? Yes, of course it is Ryan." All said in an unnaturally high voice. Pushing the hair off her face, she started to pace around the small office and rambling, "Everything is fine, just perfect…"

Ryan gazed wide eye at his wife and out of the corner of his eye said, "Mike, it might be good idea to take a little break. Give me a minute with Marissa."

"Sure no problem. Bye Marissa, it was nice seeing you."

Marissa made no comment just waved her hand absent mindedly toward his direction.

As the door shut behind Mike, Ryan made his way over and blocked Marissa's path. Grabbing her hands he stared into her eyes trying to figure out what was going on. "Marissa, are you okay?"

"Okay? I'm great, no I'm perfect." Looking up into Ryan's eyes, she broke into hysterical tears.

"Marissa…" Ryan looked hopelessly at his wife and took her over to a chair and helped her into it. "Marissa baby, you can tell me what is wrong, please…"

She looked up at him while wiping her eyes, "I'm being silly, I just…" Not completing her sentence, she stood up again and started pacing. "I have something to tell you Ryan."

"Great, I would love to hear it," Ryan said still watching Marissa worriedly. Was she hurt or sick? Maybe she had gotten fired from her job or had gotten into a fight with her mom. "Maybe you should sit down," her pacing was making him dizzy.

"No, I think you might want to sit down."

Ryan looked at her startled and hesitantly walked over to her grabbing her arm and making her face him. "Tell me what is going on."

"I'm…I'm not sick. I don't have the flu like we thought."

Confused, Ryan asked, "Well that is a good thing, right?"

"Yes, I guess. But they did find something else at." She paused and seemed to be struggling with something and finally blurted out, "Impregnant." Looking at Ryan with wide eyes as he stood stunned, she turned around and raced to the door. "That is all I wanted to say, so I'll see you later for dinner." Not even looking behind her, she reached for the door but a hand clamped down over hers blocking her path. Her shoulders started to heave and Marissa found herself gasping for breath. Ryan walked up close behind and gently removed her hand suddenly pulled her into a loving hug holding her until there was no space between them. Looking down, he tipped her chin up and gazed into her eyes wonderingly, "We are going to have a baby?"

Marissa was caught in his stare completely immobilized. All she could do was nod and continue to be hypnotized by him.

"A baby," Ryan repeated bewildered and a million thoughts streaked past. We just got marry…we are too young…I hope the baby has Marissa's eyes…how can I be a good Dad…what will it be like when it grows up…is it a boy or girl…Ryan was pulled out of his trance by Marissa tightening her hold on him and looking up at him with eyes full of worry, happiness, bewilderment, and hope. "Oh, baby…" he gave a slight chuckle at the endearment and Marissa returned a watery grin. Gazing into her eyes, he crashed his lips down on hers sealing the promise and he felt her relax and fall into him like two perfect matches. Dragging his lips from Marissa's, he whispered softly, "We are going to have a beautiful baby and be wonderful parents..." He pulled slightly away from her embrace and placed his hands on her flat stomach. He looked up at her wonderingly and was matched with a similar glance.

"We are going to have a baby…"

"Daddy, is it time for ice cream? Please, pretty please…" Ryan was pulled out of his reverie by Ella's demand and at Marissa who looked at him with slight concern.

"Yep, time to go get that ice cream before we stop by Uncle Seth and Aunt Summer's house." He turned to start the car, and was surprised by a gentle hand brushing his cheek. Turning to face her, he smiled at her trying to reassure everything was okay. She looked back at him with similar eyes of yesterday when she found out she was first pregnant. There was fear, hope, and strength.

"You know, I was just remembering when you found out you were pregnant with Nealy."

Marissa gave a laugh and a slightly confused look in his direction, "I remember being so scared to tell you but at the same time desperately wanting to tell you. I think I must have sat in the car for an hour before I went to see you."

Ryan stole a glance over in her direction while keeping his eyes on the road, she had become lost in her own little world of memories and a slight smile spread across her face. He was happy to see her calm. They were going out for ice cream, but then on the way to the hospital to start the next journey of their lives. For the evidence was still present, despite Christmas, laughter, memories, and stories the illness still stole each breath she took.

To be continued!

Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them! .