Disclaimer: Just rub it in, why don't you? Geez, for the 6th time, I do not and will never own Inuyasha!
Love and Sacrifice
CHAPTER 1: LIVING WITH YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
Kagome sighed for the umpteenth time that day. She still cannot believe the well was sealed. Only a few hours ago did she dare try to enter the portal between this world and her world. But as usual, no bright blue light engulfed her. The well had started denying her the passage to her home right after the battle with Naraku. Right after the Shikon jewel was completed and purified. Right after Miroku's kazaana disappeared. And right after Inuyasha reclaimed his undividing love for Kikyo.
'Inuyasha,' thought Kagome, 'Why? Why couldn't you see that I've loved you and still do?' Inuyasha had once again broken Kagome's heart when he confessed his love for the 'claypot.' But this time, Kagome's heart would never mend since Inuyasha so cheerfully announced that Kikyo would now be staying with the group at Kaede's Village.
Inuyasha had been happy about this and since he was happy, Kagome pretended that she was also happy, all for her love's sake. Kagome could never stand Inuyasha depressed. She never could. So with all her heart, she tried whatever it took to make Inuyasha smile. She never cared about herself first, she always took care of the others' well being.
Kagome sighed again. She was sitting at a patch of moist grass by the Goshinboku, staring into nothingness. She tried hard not to cry. Not to let a single tear trickle down her cheek, but couldn't. Why had fate been so mean to her? Why?
Everything changed after their battle. Her once oh-so-perfect world shattered right after the war. And there she was thinking that everything would be glorious right after they defeated Naraku, but fate, the same fate that had lead her to Sengoku Jidai, had once again interfered. But this time the results weren't so welcoming...
Flashback:
Blood was everywhere. Blood of the innocent and the uninnocents were all over the grounds. Only the ones who had battled Naraku were still living. Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Kirara, Shippo, and even Sesshomaru were still standing. Not including Kikyo who was still standing also but looking at the remains of Naraku.
Everybody had given everything they've got. But at the end, Kagome was the only one able to defeat Naraku. Her purifying powers had increased and when she shot that arrow straight at Naraku, he didn't even bat an eye. One second he was living, the next he dissolved simply to dust.
There had been a long pause. It was a stunned silence. Kagome had fainted after using much of her miko powers and didn't know of this. Miroku was the one who broke the uncomfortable silence when he ripped open the cloth covering his wind tunnel...and found that it was gone.
The wind tunnel gone! Miroku was so shocked he sank onto his knees and cried. Sango comforted him but tears were also gliding down her smooth cheeks. Inuyasha spotted Kagome lying still on the ground and panicked. He was about to run towards her when something had caught his eye...
'Kikyo' he thought. Kikyo was still standing but this time her gaze was directed towards Inuyasha. Her beloved. So instead of going to Kagome, Inuyasha went to Kikyo. He stood silently in front of her for minutes.
To the pair, it seemed like hours but Inuyasha finally grabbed Kikyo and hugged her in a death defying grip.
Sesshomaru left seeing that everything was already taken care of. He needed to get back to the Western Lands and tend to his matters that had been abandoned while battling Naraku.
Kikyo and Inuyasha were still hugging but suddenly Kikyo let go of him. "Inuyasha..." she said, "I simply cannot say the right words to tell you that I am sorry. Through all those years of roaming these lands in this clay body of mine, I still feel remorse and regret for all the bad things I've done to you. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I'm truly sorry, Inuyasha." With that said, Kikyo looked up into Inuyasha's golden orbs.
"Kikyo..." Inuyasha couldn't help himself. "I'm sorry too Kikyo. Will you ever forgive me?" Kikyo nodded. "Kikyo, I never got a chance to say this... Aishiteru Kikyo. Aishiteru..." Kikyo looked surprise but never got a chance to reply because Inuyasha claimed her lips in a hungry kiss.
A.N. ( ewww... can you imagine that? Him kissing that ------that thing! Yuck! )
They were in this position when Kagome came to.
She got up and immediately winced. Her left side was still bleeding profusely. The pain didn't hurt much. What hurt the most was when she saw someone else in Inuyasha's arms. Kikyo.
Kagome gasped. Immediately she knew. She knew that she could never ever take Kikyo's place in Inuyasha's heart. Never. Kagome tried unsuccessfully to stop the tears from flowing but couldn't. They poured down her cheeks and onto the dirt.
Miroku and Sango, along with Kirara and Shippo, saw Kagome was alert again and rushed to her side. They had seen and heard what was said between Inuyasha and Kikyo. The four of them, including Kirara, felt bad for Kagome.
Even after risking her life for Inuyasha, he never even ran to her side. He had gone straight to Kikyo.
Sango sat down next to Kagome and tried to comfort her. Her arms were around the young girl's body, when she felt something wet. Sango entangled her arms from Kagome and looked at it. Sango almost gagged.
'Blood, Kagome's blood!' she desperately thought. She looked at Kagome and noticed her skin palor had gone incredibly pale. She didn't even had enough time to panic when Kagome slumped over. Sango screamed.
Shippo jumped on Kagome. "Okaa-san! Okaa-san! Please, oh please okaa-san!" Little Shippo's tears and yelling made Inuyasha glance over.
"Kagome?" Inuyasha's gaze settled on Kagome. Her blood was steadyingly soaking her outfit. 'NO!' Inuyasha thought, dread filling his insides. "NO! KAGOME!"
Inuyasha took his arms from around Kikyo and ran. Ran to Kagome's side.
'No, no, please Kagome don't die on me!' thought Inuyasha as he cradled Kagome in his arms. Nearby, Kikyo watched, hate instantly running through her. 'No matter,' she thought evilly,' Inuyasha does not love her.'
Inuyasha was still holding on to Kagome. He could not lose her now. No he can't. Miroku was now shaking as well. He prayed to Kami above that he'd let Kagome stay. 'Please let her stay,' he thought.
Kikyo walked over and looked down on Kagome's unconscious form. "Inuyasha, if you truly want to save the girl, bring her to my sister's hut. She will be taken care of. But go now or she will pass."
Inuyasha nodded and stood up. With a swoosh, he took off, heading for Kaede's Village. 'Please Kagome don't die on me yet.'
End Flashback.
That had been weeks ago. Now Kagome was completely healed, physically, but just not emotionally. Inside her heart was broken and her soul felt like it had sucked out of her. It wasn't like this before. She had been contented when she woke up from her coma a week after the battle.
Kagome's Flashback:
Sunlight poured in from a window. Kagome opened her eyes and sat up. She regreted it when dizziness swept over her. Pain shot through her body but she remained upright. Kaede walked in when she saw Kagome's painful position. She had just returned from gathering herbs for Kagome's already healing wounds.
"Kagome! Ye must not get up child. It would only worsen it. Here, ye lay back down now. There ye go," Kaede said tending Kagome as if she was her own daughter.
"Kaede, where is everyone? Whe---- Naraku!" Kagome again got up but winced. Kaede gently pushed her back on the futon mattress. "Shhh...child. It is not good to ask questions when ye are still wounded. Ye should rest for now, " Kaede said. "No, please Kaede, tell me. Where are the others? Are they all right? And what about Inuyasha? Is he alright?"
Kaede sighed and responded, "Yes Kagome, they are all alright. Including Inuyasha."
Kagome exhaled the breath she didn't know she's been holding. "Then where is he?" she asked. There was a pause in which Kagome figured out the answer.
He was with Kikyo. Then all of a sudden, memories of the previous battle flashed through her mind and when she got to the part where she saw Inuyasha kissing Kikyo...
Kaede knew she didn't have to answer the question. She could tell by Kagome's expression that she already knew. The old sage felt pity for the young woman. For five years, Kagome had been like a daughter to her. A daughter she regretfully never had. Kaede didn't know how to break the bad news to the poor girl. Her heart certainly couldn't possibly hold the news if she herself were on Kagome's shoes.
After a painful silence, Kagome managed to say, "Oh."
All of a sudden, a little furball came bouncing onto her lap. "Okaa-san! Okaa-san, you're finally awake!" Shippo was jumping up and down on her lap in glee. "Oh, okaa-san I missed you!"
Kagome smiled a watery smile. "I missed you too Shippo-chan. Were you hurt?" Shippo blushed but puffed out his chest. "I had a few scratches but Kaede fixed them." Kagome smiled again and hugged her son.
The door to Kaede's hut opened once again, and in stepped Sango who's face was awash with tears. "Oh, Kagome! I was so afraid you'd die!"
Sango gave her sister/friend a tight hug. "Now, now Sango, you might not want to do that. After all, Kagome-chan is still healing," Miroku's voice said.
The two women looked up and smiled. "Hello Miroku. How have you been?" Kagome asked. "I'm alright. Same as young Shippo here. Just had a few minor scratches," Miroku replied.
Sango looked again at her best friend and sensed sadness. "Is something the matter Kagome?" Kagome faked a smile and said,"Nothing is wrong Sango-chan. I'm still a little wounded but I really am fine."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a hug and it should make you feel better." Miroku bent down and was about to give Kagome an affectionate hug when Sango wacked him on the head.
"What do you think you're doing, you lecherous monk?" she growled. "Why, whatever do you mean, my fair Sango?" Miroku asked trying to look innocent.
Kagome smiled. 'Some things never change' she thought. A little while later, Inuyasha came in. Kagome's smile never left, though it appeared a little forced.
"Inuyasha! Are you ok? You're not hurt are you?"
Inuyasha huffed, "Keh! Like I'd be! If you can't remember, Kagome, demons don't get hurt!"
Kagome giggled. "If you say so, Inuyasha." Inuyasha's face stared down onto Kagome's. "How bout you? You alright?"
Kagome nodded, a little surprised that he was worried about her. "Good! We've been waiting for you to wake your ass up for a week now. I had to wait a week for you to wake up so I could tell you guys something," Inuyasha said.
He now had gained everyone's attention. Just as he was about to start, Kikyo walked in the hut. Once again, silence took the room. "Ah, koishi, just in time," Inuyasha said.
Kagome's sunny expression didn't falter nor did it betray her inner emotions when she heard the nickname Inuyasha used on Kikyo. "What is it Inuyasha?" Kikyo purred.
Inuyasha took Kikyo's hand and led her to stand beside him. He then took a deep breath and announced,"Ever since the final battle with Naraku, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Miroku and Sango are getting married," both Miroku and Sango blushed on this," and while this is happening, their house is about to be built. But I have my own plans," Inuyasha paused. "Well, I---er decided that Kikyo should stay with us here in Kaede's Village--------as my mate."
There was a long---------------- silence. Miroku and Sango looked at each other then both of them stared at Kagome. Kaede and Shippo both sensed the apprehension of Inuyasha as they all waited for Kikyo's and Kagome's response.
"Oh, Inuyasha! I cannot believe it! Oh!" Kikyo exclaimed. Happiness and triumph was written all over her face. Kagome, however, was far from happy, but when she noticed Inuyasha's clearly happy face, she couldn't help but say...
"I'm so happy for you Inuyasha! Wow, that's great!" It was all Kagome managed to say out loud. She was going to burst to tears, she knew it. Thankfully, Inuyasha picked up Kikyo and walked outside, not even looking backwards to Kagome.
Sango and Miroku both got up and made a move to Kagome but Kaede stopped them with a look. They turned the other direction and left the hut. The hut was completely empty except for Shippo and Kaede.
"Ye really should rest now child. Yer wounds are not yet healed," she said. Kagome obeyed still too shock by the news.
End Flashback.
Yep, that too was weeks ago. And ever since then, Inuyasha had started spending less time with Kagome and more time with Kikyo. If that wasn't enough, Kagome also had to deal with being the Shikon no Tama's protector. She was still an easy target for any demon but nevertheless the stronger youkai were even more tempted to kidnap her.
So now, Kagome is burdened with the responsibility of protecting the damn jewel while Kikyo spends the rest of her days with Inuyasha. But Kagome never minded. She never complains about her duties. Never.
Not even when she was about to go back home for good and the well denied her access to the future. No. Kagome never complained on the outside, but on the inside she was screaming holy hell.
Now look at her. Crying underneath the ancient tree where Inuyasha had been shot. Where it all started and where it all ended. Kagome desperately wanted to go back home where she belonged. No one needed her here anymore. But she knew she couldn't do that. The well was sealed and she will never see her family again.
Kagome wiped her tears dry and stood up. Since she was now the official protector of the jewel, Sango had suggested that she learn how to use her miko powers. Kaede had agreed so it was a unanimous decision that the wise, old lady teach Kagome how to awaken her dormant powers.
So far, all Kagome had accomplished was how to increase her miko powers just enough to destroy ANY demon on contact. She was proud of her accomplishments so far but despaired that she could never show Inuyasha since he was too busy with his 'koishi.'
Kagome sighed again. Fate was just oh so cruel to her. What had she ever done to deserve this? Wasn't everything she's done for everyone enough? Wasn't it enough to get hurt and experience pain everytime Inuyasha is with Kikyo? Wasn't it?
Kagome dusted off her skirt and looked up at the Goshinboku tree. Yep, life was definitely not fair, not to her anyways.
"Kagome! Kagome! Kagome where are you?" Sango's worried voice rang through the forest. "Kagome!"
"I'm right here Sango-chan!" Kagome shouted back. "There you are! I've been looking for you! Inuyasha wanted everybody in the village to see and bless his new home with---Kikyo." Sango looked at Kagome and waited, when Kagome didn't say anything she went on.
"Look, Kagome, you're not upset about this now are you?"
Kagome looked at Sango and forced a smile. "Of course not, Sango. Why should I be? As long as Inuyasha is happy, then so am I."
Sango didn't press on the subject, though she could tell that Kagome was depressed and was unhappy.
Kagome walked ahead and heard Sango sigh. (Sheesh! what is it with sighing?)
What she said was right. If Inuyasha will be happy with Kikyo, then she should be happy for them. But as she kept on walking and spotted Inuyasha giving Kikyo a hug and a kiss, she couldn't help but feel left out.
After all, it would be like living in hell. Living with your worst nightmare...
So how'd you think? This is my first ever lo--ng fic! yea, i'm so excited, and i just can't hide it. Ahem, anyways, please review. Reviews make my day, and it also gives me the boost I need to continue writing.
So there ya go. Oh and the next chapter is called, ''Her pain and his joy"
See ya...
Silverstar871
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