GAH! 2 things: One, welcome baguette2016 to the story! Aka THE QUEEN of dark James! :D Two, over 300 reviews?! I'm so lucky ^.^ Thanks guys! To celebrate, I have updated my gif set on tumblr to now include the link to the song for every chapter. (If this doesn't make any sense to you - for every chapter, I always post a couple gifs that I think go well with it/help to visualize the action and sometimes a song that just works!) Multimedia experience, YEAH!

Warning: We start with sex! **Also, I just want to say: Lily isn't getting pregnant in the timeline of this story. Pregnancies scares the absolute crap out of me, so I'm not using it as a 'gotcha' plot point like that. Don't stress.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Art work by the super talented blvnk-art (tumblr) aka potterbyblvnk (insta)

Song: Walk Away by Christina Aguilera

The Repercussions

Lily awoke to soft lips on the back of her neck and fingers skimming up her ribcage under her shirt. Potter was kissing his way over to the junction of her shoulder, allowing himself to linger there while his hand claimed gentle siege of her right breast. His featherlight touches felt so good, and because of the way he had her arching back into him, her arse rubbing against his own arousal, he knew it too.

She felt his mouth curl into a satisfied smile against her skin. "Good morning, love." His fingers continued their delicious rotation around her nipple.

How could one man make her so ready for him this quickly? He was that cocky; she knew he didn't even need a response to know what he was doing to her.

Lily dropped her head back, swiveling it so she could see him. He wasted no time leaning in to kiss her lips as his right hand dropped down between her legs and wound tight circles against her clit, pushing his body flush against hers.

Fuck.

She wanted him. She wanted him so goddamn bad it felt like it physically hurt every moment they delayed. Or was that still soreness from last night's romp? Her mind was going into overdrive, trying to weigh the pros and cons of hooking up again, trying to tell herself: Stop, stop Lily, remember who he is, remember what you found him doing last night. Making one mistake doesn't mean you have to keep making them… He tortures children! He lied to you, his wording be damned! but it was too late. His lips were sliding along hers and she felt her hips thrusting into his hand, and she knew she was a goner. She knew that her conscience would never stand a chance now that her sex drive had been put in charge.

Lily tried telling him with the fervor of her kiss, tried letting him know that she wanted to continue right where they'd left off last night without having to verbalize it so that she could keep at least some of her pride. She allowed his tongue to slip into her open mouth and moaned.

Potter chuckled at her enthusiasm, pulling away slightly. "You aren't too sore or anything?"

Her eyes adjusted to the morning light creeping in through the thin bed canopy curtains as she stared at him. He was looking at her like he actually cared. She snorted while reaching down to shuck his shirt off of her. "I wasn't a virgin last night, Potter."

Potter's gaze narrowed, licking his lips at the sight of her naked in his periphery. "All right. That's enough sass out of you this morning." Before Lily could protest his ludicrous statement, his arm completely enclosed around her as he reached under his pillow for his wand. He rapidly fired off a silencing charm and then set it vibrating against her clit.

Lily gasped, and not only from the sensation. His wand had been there, within reach, this whole time. She'd tried to kill him with a knife thinking he was unprotected, but in reality, she'd been the one in true danger.

But instead of murdering each other, they'd shagged. What in the world…

Before Lily could get too lost in her own thoughts, Potter perched over her side so he could press kisses on her newly revealed chest, his tongue now dancing the same pattern his fingers had started. Lily's eyes nearly rolled back in her head when his lips closed around her nipple and he sucked on her.

"Hold this," he demanded, handing her his wand, and pushing her wrist against her lower stomach so it could still perform its magic. "I want my hands free."

While Lily hadn't wanted to respond earlier, now she wasn't sure if she even could. The masterful attention he was paying to all parts of her body was leaving her feeling completely overwhelmed in the best way possible. She felt it selfish to not at least try to return the favor a little bit, despite who he was, and thus lowered her hand to his erection.

"Nah, Evans," he laughed. "No handie, we're fucking."

She'd really hoped he'd say something like that.

Potter reached lower between her legs, easily slipping two fingers into her. "Fuck… you're already so wet, love." His teeth grazed her nipple, and she almost wished he'd bite her again. "You're such a good girl for me, aren't you?"

Lily wasn't sure if it was the wand, or the way his whispers tickled her sensitive breast, but she was feeling far too horny to play games right now. "Please, Potter, just please—"

It seemed as though she'd finally found a weakness of his: hearing her beg for him. Potter pushed his hips up against hers from behind, sinking his cock into her for the second time, knowing to be gentle in spite of Lily's vehement denial over her level of muscle fatigue. Lily briefly wondered if she'd ever be the same, or if this was the moment where it all changed. Last night had been a desperate, high stakes accumulation of longing, years in the making, that felt somewhat out of both of their control, but this? This was a choice. This was about seeing pleasure, and taking it… from him.

"Fuck, Lils," Potter groaned, his hand on her hip now clenching tightly as he continued snaking his own. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

She felt as though she might have a little bit of an idea; after all, she was letting him inside of her again, wasn't she?

His cock slid in and out at an almost leisurely pace as his hands explored all over her body, taking his time in a way he hadn't last night. The rough pads of his fingertips greedily swiped at her stomach, her ribs, her neck, seemingly hungry to feel every last bit of her. She let out a loud moan when he hit a spot just right as his hand grazed down the back of her thigh, memorizing every centimeter with his touch.

"That's it, baby, tell me what feels good," he murmured.

Baby? Lily wasn't sure if she wanted to keep letting him use that pet name for her given all that had happened since she'd decided she liked it, but she felt her body shiver, determining on its own that it was certainly still on board.

Potter's lips brushed against the shell of her ear. "You don't know how long I've wanted this," he admitted. "You don't know how long I've wanted you."

Lily tried to keep her breath from hitching as the word "collected" bounced around her head again. He didn't let her think about it too much though, tipping her head back to him so he could kiss her, his hips working away beneath them. Lily felt like she always forgot who she was when he kissed her, normally being reduced to nothing but lips and a tongue designed for fulfilling her deepest desires, and now was no different. He was kissing her like they were the only people in existence, his hand cupping her cheek and keeping her face aligned with his.

When he pulled back, his hazel eyes bore into hers as he said softly, with all the conviction in the universe, "You're mine, Lils. Mine."

Potter gasped, squeezing his eyes shut right after he said it, and Lily knew exactly why. She hadn't meant to, but she'd also felt the clench her cunt had made around him with his words. It wasn't fair that she was this exposed, in all manners of the word, when they were having sex. She hoped he wouldn't use this newfound knowledge against her — even whilst being sure that he absolutely would.

He cracked his eyes open ever so slowly as his lips formed the most devious of smirks. "You liked that, didn't you?"

"Shut up," Lily practically moaned.

"No," Potter answered reflexively as he pulled on her thigh, opening her up for him and rolling her onto her back as he stayed on his side. He could keep watching her every move like this, displayed before him. His thrusts seemed to be synced up to her heartbeat. "You're completely mine now, Evans. You know I'll never let you go."

Those words should repulse her. They should have her pushing him off the bed and making a run for it, but instead she found her hips stuttering, craving all the friction his cock could give her. She draped her right calf over his arse, pushing him deeper inside of her while her left remained straight and tangled with his legs. "Keep dreaming, Potter," she muttered as she started rolling her hips in circles, her hand still clutching his wand tightly against her.

"I don't have to."

Damnit. He was right. She'd already given in to everything he'd wanted from her.

Lily got off shortly afterwards, using Potter's body as she pleased, trying to ignore the way he was hungrily drinking her in the entire time. She came down from her orgasm to find he'd been just on the brink too, only needing a few more frantic, shallow thrusts to join her there. Lily didn't want to think about how she'd let him come inside of her, again.

What the fuck is going on? Lily couldn't help but wonder as she lay there panting, the past twelve hours washing over her. She felt like she'd fallen in love, been brutally thrown out of it, only to have just been gifted with the best makeup sex of her life — but it wasn't nearly enough. Also, how sad was it that their first time shagging had been just that — a bandaid? An apology? An 'I'm sorry I torture people for a living, but we had a fun date, right?' Well, Lily mused, not as pathetic as actually partially accepting that apology… He had yet to pull out of her.

Potter clearly could not read her mood. He snuggled up to her side, throwing a heavy arm around her waist to pull her into him, kissing her shoulder just as he had when they'd started this whole rotten morning. "Down to get breakfast before class?"

What the fuck? Lily violently shrugged him off, and out, of her, chucking his wand at him now that she was done with it. "I need that Invisibility Cloak."

Potter looked at her confused. "For what?"

"To get the fuck out of here, dumbass."

"Whoa, what just happened?"

Did Potter look hurt? "What do you mean, 'what just happened?'" she snarled.

"I mean, we were just having a lovely morning, and now you're acting like a bitch," he reasoned as though it was obvious.

"A bitch?" Lily repeated disbelievingly. "A bitch? Are you serious? I just found out that you're the literal devil, but I'm a bitch?!"

Potter seemed to be trying to salvage the moment, trying his best to steer their conversation back to less choppy waters. "Good thing that's your type, I guess?"

Lily wanted absolutely none of it. "No, fuck you, I will never, ever stoop so low again to date the likes of you."

Potter's nostrils flared as his eyes clouded over, before he bolted upright, running an irritated hand through his hair. "You know, that kind of holier-than-though attitude is what makes Gryffindors so insufferable. The world isn't black and white, Evans. Most of us live in the grey."

"What?!" Lily cried out, sitting up too. "There is nothing grey about torture, you nut-job—"

"I thought you got over that?" he asked exasperatedly. "I told you we would stop using—"

"How the fuck do you get over that—?"

"Then why the hell did you just sleep with me?" Potter was finally losing his cool, and ready to meet Lily toe-to-toe in her anger. "Twice?"

"I don't know!" Lily bellowed. They were definitely testing the strength of his silencing charm. "I don't fucking know, but it was a bloody mistake, Potter, and it won't happen again!"

He was looking at her in that same way he had at the dance, when she'd first seen the hint of a Death Eater in him. "Mistakes are pronouncing spells wrong or fumbling a Quaffle, Evans. Having sex with someone you want to have sex with is not a mistake," he spat out.

"Well, it was to me." He looked at her as though she'd just slapped him, and she was glad the words finally seemed to be sinking in. "You're still a monster, and I want absolutely nothing to do with you."

He held her gaze, the gold of his eyes burning a hole into hers. "So just my cock then?"

Lily's upper lip twitched, showing off one of her incisors. "I hate you."

Potter snorted. Unlike last night, the words clearly no longer packed the same punch. "No, you don't. You can deny your feelings for me all you want — you were always so very good at that. But don't you dare act like you don't want me. Don't you dare pretend like you don't want this." He pointed between their naked bodies, still right next to each other on his damp bed. The evidence supporting his point was quite damning. "You're weak for me in that department." Before Lily could retort, he had reached over to his bedside table's drawer behind his curtain and pulled out his Cloak and her wand, dumping them both onto her lap unceremoniously. "You can see yourself out."

It didn't escape her notice that he'd had the Cloak the first time she'd needed to sneak out of his room after the dance, but hadn't offered it then. He probably thrived on the double hit of my embarrassment and me basically having to announce that I'd just hooked up with him. I bet he got off on that. She supposed after the events of last night, getting her out of there today required more furtiveness if she was intent on not cooperating.

He got out of his bed, leaving Lily to sit there, reeling. She watched his back disappear, his broad muscles rippling, covered in the scratch marks she'd decorated him with. Seeing what they'd just done together, twice, so viscerally was an absolute shock to her system.

She was so, so fucked.

What have I done? Lily couldn't help but panic as she sat in Defense, waiting for class to start. Not only had she fucked James soddening Potter more than once, but she'd somehow come both times. In what twisted world was Lily Evans scared about James Potter strutting into a classroom because of what she'd just done with him?

And even more confusing than that — she had no idea what he was doing. Like, sure, she understood that people enjoyed sex — she was a recent convert to that phenomena — but knowing what she did about him now, and having seen his true colors last night, she assumed that if they shagged, it would be a one and done type of deal, no matter what he had alluded to during the seduction process. That was just him spitting game to try to get in her knickers; but in reality, she'd heard how he operated. She knew he took what he wanted from his conquests and then he left them high and dry. Also, she'd seen him. He was a full-bodied, cold-blooded Death Eater. It wasn't like that type of person could associate with hers in any sort of longterm capacity.

However, it hadn't been like that — at least it hadn't seemed like it to him. The way he talked to me during our second shag…? She couldn't even think about it. Not now. Not when she was drowning in this level of guilt over the whole ordeal already. What did he want from her?! Prior to last night, she would have guessed some sort of illicit fuck-buddy — he had told her they could be a secret before — but this morning he'd asked her to accompany him to breakfast. That hardly sounded covert.

Their date last night had had her convinced that perhaps he did actually want a relationship with her — but that could no longer apply now that he'd shown how far gone into the Dark Arts he was, right? Head Death Eaters couldn't just date Muggle-borns. That wasn't how any of this worked! What the hell is his angle?!

Lily felt sick. She felt like her head was about to explode from the perplexity of it all. She also felt satisfied and ready to do it, do him, again. (Which made her more sick.)

Hobbling across the castle in nothing more than Potter's shirt and his Invisibility Cloak had been an experience that she really could have lived without, even if it was a thousand times better than her walk of shame after the dance. She'd gotten ready in her dorm in a daze, only slightly registering Marlene's knowing smile upon seeing her neck full of hickeys, the girl thinking that she'd just come back from an amazing date. Lily couldn't believe that had been only yesterday. It felt like a lifetime ago that this misconception had actually been true.

At breakfast, Remus — having no idea that anything was wrong — had complimented her scarf and then blabbed on about something cool he'd read, not noticing that Lily's eyes were frantically surveying the Great Hall for all the faces she'd seen last night. Avery, Nott, Black, other Black… Pettigrew. Lily caught the Gryffindor boy looking away frantically just as she found him, trying to pretend as though he hadn't just been staring at her.

Lily had no idea what to do. She had to report these kids. She had to do something.

As if knowing exactly what was going through Lily's head, Potter rose to his feet across the hall, stopping McGonagall's walk over to her spot at the teachers' table. His smile was easy, but with the way his body was angled directly to Lily, she knew exactly what this move was: it was a threat. She could practically hear his voice in her ear, sweetly whispering: 'Remember, accidents happen, love.'

Lily couldn't look, her eyes darted away from the scene, but they caught on something glimmering down his table instead. There, in the hands of a truly deranged woman, was the dagger that Lily had tried to use on Potter in his bed. She should have recognized it immediately then, but without its usual owner, it had hardly looked quite as dangerous, even if Lily's reason for grabbing it was murder. (Who even was she anymore?) In the clear light of morning, the dagger appeared just as lethal as it normally did in Bellatrix's possession. Lily guessed that Potter had confiscated it from her at their gathering the night before, perhaps prior to Lily's interruption. Bellatrix had already seemed awfully on edge even before Potter had told her she couldn't test out any new spells on Malcolm. Potter had probably snatched it to stop her from filleting the boy, and then emptied his pockets before bed and left it out on his nightstand.

Bellatrix dipping the blade into strawberry jam and licking it off, her eyes never leaving Lily's, stopped her thoughts completely in their tracks. She wondered if Bellatrix could taste the hint of blood that she'd drawn from Potter's neck. Lily wasn't just scared — she was absolutely petrified. As though Potter's warning hadn't been enough, it looked like Bellatrix was adding her own. It was all too easy to imagine Bellatrix sneaking up on her in some deserted corridor of the castle and slitting her throat. If she, Lily Evans, had considered killing someone with that very dagger, then my Merlin, could someone like Bellatrix do it in a heartbeat. And Lily was a Muggle-born — the number of suspects for her murder would be astronomical — so Bellatrix would probably get away with it too. (However, Lily supposed the psycho who showed her crazy was less terrifying than the one who hid it so damn well.)

A morbid part of her wondered why they hadn't just killed her already.

Lily had pushed away her plate, unable to even stomach the idea of food anymore.

And now here she sat: in Defense Against the Dark Arts, pitifully thinking how they really needed to add a chapter to the textbook on what to do when said Dark Art you were trying to defend yourself against was insanely hot. Lily's hand stuttered uncorking her bottle of ink when Potter finally walked into the room with Sirius, looking like he owned the place like usual. She was ready for that level of arrogance. What she wasn't prepared for was for his eyes to find her right away and for him to stare at her the whole path to his desk, throwing in a sly smirk and a wink as he gracefully fell into his seat. The bastard even blew her a kiss.

Did he not remember their fight? Was he choosing to ignore her ardent declaration of wanting nothing to do with him and hating his guts? Not only did it look like he'd recovered from his hurt at her rejection and was carrying on like all was fine and dandy, it also seemed like he didn't care if anyone else noticed their newly minted chemistry either. Lily watched in horror as whispers sprang up like wildfire amongst the Hufflepuffs in their class who had just noticed his little flirtation.

"Uh, Lil? Are you okay?" Remus asked next to her.

Lily jumped in her seat, hand flying to her scarf, looking over to her friend. "Yeah, why?" she asked a little too speedily to be believable.

"Um, because," he leaned in, "James just smiled at you and you visibly recoiled, even though I thought you said you guys had a good date?"

Fuck. How could she even explain what had happened between her and the Death Eater, not 'James,' since then? Her mind was still dumbfounded from it herself. "I… fucked up. Big time."

"When?" Remus asked confused. "After breakfast?"

She wished she could be living in Remus' confused alternate timeline. It seemed like a nicer place. A simpler place. "I, um," Lily bit her lip, "I might have…" Not telling the Order that she knew what the Death Eaters were up to in school was already bad enough — but now she'd have to lie to her only friend? She didn't know how she'd do it. It's for his own safety… she reminded herself. Potter threatened to hurt him too if I tell anyone… "I might have snuck out to see him last night, after you went to bed."

Remus' brows shoot up his forehead with understanding. "Holy shite, you actually…?"

Lily cringed. "Yes?"

"And?" Remus demanded impatiently.

"That doesn't matter, Remy, what matters is how—"

"Oh, sod off, how was it?" Remus brushed her propriety aside — she knew she really didn't have a leg to stand on.

Should she focus on the sex? Should she distract him with the tawdry details so that he wouldn't question anything else?

Lily leaned into Remus, throwing a furtive look around. Potter was still staring at her, the usual playful twinkle shining in his eyes as Sirius talked in his ear. He was much too far away to hear her. "Really fucking good. Like good Merlin, fuck can he lay it down—"

"I knew it—"

"I know, I know—"

"I told you!"

"I know. You did," Lily gave him a tight lipped smile, and hid her mouth behind her hand. "But I'm quitting my mission now. For real."

"Oh," Remus replied, pondering this. Truth be told, he didn't look all too surprised. He looked back at her sympathetically. "Yeah, yeah, that makes sense."

Oh no. He thought she was quitting because she was in love with him, not because he'd just insinuated he'd kill all the professors, and possibly both of them, if she didn't hold her tongue. Lily squeezed her eyes closed and took a deep breath in through her nose, counting to five in her head. "I just can't do this."

Remus patted her forearm, and she despised it. "Don't feel bad about it. You did your best, and they can't be mad at you. Your feelings are what make you so great, Lil. Don't you ever forget that."

James caught her eye over Remus' shoulder and she forced a dry swallow. "Yeah. I won't."

Potter smiled at her.

Lily had had many awkward moments in her life. When she was 6, she had walked in on Petunia trying to make out with her poster of Sean Connery (which had resulted in a lot of confusion on Lily's part, and a hard spanking from her mortified sister). When she was 12, the girls in the orphanage had talked about flavored rubbers, and Lily had confidently declared, 'Rubbers can't have flavors, because vaginas don't have tastebuds!' (This had resulted in many sniggers and Lily temporarily being nicknamed Vaginal Tastebud, or VT for short.) But nothing, positively nothing, in her nearly 18 years of existence had prepared her for trying to tell Professor McGonagall, Auror Moody, and Headmaster Dumbledore that she didn't want to continue spying on Death Eater Potter because she'd shagged him, even if the real reason she needed out was so much worse.

Lily was stalling for as long as she could. "So, he has a sort of silver Invisibility Cloak? It was decently large, but he didn't have to do any sort of spell for it, or at least none that I saw him perform. It worked on its own."

"That's interesting, those aren't common," Moody said, nodding along.

Lily crossed her legs, fidgeting in her chair. "I'm afraid that, um—" she cleared her throat, "—I can no longer, uh, spy for you guys."

Moody's magical eye whirled around in his head. "Why not?"

Lily let out a big huff, now fiddling with the hem of her skirt. "Well, um. I asked Potter out on a date, like Professor Dumbledore wanted me to," she felt sort of like she was throwing him under the bus, but frankly, she didn't care, he sort of belonged there considering all that had happened because of his request, "but—" her face had to be so red, it just had to be, "—things progressed, and… I no longer feel comfortable spying on him."

"Progressed how?" Moody asked, completely missing her subtle insinuation. However, Lily noticed that McGonagall had started shifting awkwardly in her chair as well. "Isn't progression in your relationship a good thing? That could be beneficial in getting him to open up and tell you more."

"Uh—"

"Think about it. You could stage a few arguments, and he'll try groveling to get back in your good graces. He'll sing like a canary."

"It isn't quite like that," Lily said tentatively. Help.

"Why—?"

"Oh please, Alastor. She slept with him," McGonagall interjected briskly, once again making Lily wish for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

The pause in the office, punctuated only by the whirring of Dumbledore's trinkets, seemed to extend over an eternity.

"Oh. Well," Moody tried, all of a sudden finding Dumbledore's desk very interesting to look at, "I still don't see why that's a reason to halt her investigation."

He couldn't even look at her. Why was everyone suddenly too embarrassed to look at her?

McGonagall, just as red as she felt, abruptly turned to Lily. "I l feel as though it is my responsibility to make sure that you're being safe—"

Oh my god…!

But before Lily could fester in her embarrassment, Dumbledore cut her off. "She's of age, Minerva, I'm sure she knows what she's doing."

No, I most certainly do not! Lily was secretly super grateful for McGonagall's little bout of motherly concern. In all the madness that had happened, Lily had completely forgotten about contraception. She had no idea if Potter had cast any spells on his end, and even if he told her he had, she would never in a million years believe him and leave her health up to him. She made a mental note to go to Pomfrey after the meeting stat and get some emergency day-after potion (that she was almost 100% confident was still effective given her timeframe) and vowed to brush up on her normal contraceptive spell.

Not that she'd need it anymore.

Please don't need it anymore.

Dumbledore turned to Lily. "Are you sure you wish to end your assignment?"

For some reason, Lily felt like he wasn't as disappointed in her as he was last time. "Yes, sir. I think I've done all I can do."

He nodded at her slowly. "Well, if that is the case, we thank you for all the intelligence you have provided us with. And if you change your mind, you are always free to return back to us, no questions asked. We shall see you tomorrow in the meeting."

Lily let out the biggest sigh of relief as she closed the door, leaving the office five minutes later.

It was over. It was finally over.

Coming back from the hospital wing — where she'd thankfully not been given a lecture, but the emergency potion, assurances of its a potency, and a curt, 'Take care of yourself,' from Madam Pomfrey — Lily felt like the weight of the world was off her shoulders and she could finally relax and have a normal Saturday night. And year. Hopefully a normal year.

"Package just came for you," Remus greeted, handing her a cup of mead and pointing to the corner of the room, where a stately owl was guarding a lumpy, hastily wrapped parcel from partygoers. This time of the year — before the Quidditch season officially kicked off — always felt sparse of celebrations, so students really had to go out of their way to invent reasons to party. Lily supposed, 'It's Saturday!' was as good a reason as any.

"Who's it from?" Lily asked skeptically, having a nasty feeling about that owl.

Remus just shrugged, the, 'I dunno,' implied.

Lily approached it as though it was a bomb, the owl staring at her in a way that was a little too similar to the wizard she suspected was its owner. With shaky hands, she tore open the brown paper, watching as her yellow bra and knickers fell out onto the table. A note fluttered from the bottom of the wrapping. 'You forgot these. Thought I should return them so I can rip them off of you later. See you soon. Xx JP'

This fucking arsehole.

Next Chapter: The Avoidance

(Don't worry... she's really bad at it :D)