Soooo... we're turning up the kink factor again. If that does not bother you, skip the warning bc it's kinda spoilery.

Warning: The final scene when James shows up involves BDSM aspects (domination, belt tied, candle wax). If this does bother you, but you want to continue the story, let me know and I can summarize what happens for you. Also, perhaps skip the next chapter which is literally all kinky sex stuff. (I can summarize that for you also!)

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Art work by the super talented blvnk-art (tumblr) aka potterbyblvnk (insta)

Song: Blood / Water by grandson

The Claim

It was incredible how easy Lily's life became without Potter walking around the halls complicating everything for her. She got to laugh with Remus at meals, she let Benjy carry her books walking between classes, hell, she even let him kiss her goodnight Monday after they'd spent the evening studying together in the library. Life was good. Life was great.

Her days were hers again, even if her nights were still plagued with fantasies and memories and — holy hell, she couldn't stop thinking about the way Potter had casually mentioned having threesomes with Sirius. The idea of it had completely consumed her mind, and it was a wonder she could even fall asleep with how hot and bothered she got herself pondering it. What positions did they do? How much did they share? How did it all even work? Don't go down this road, Lils. Stop it.

Right, but her days were Potter-free zones. Except for the one time daily she had to go visit him to check on his healing, making sure to go at an hour when everyone else would also be in the room. It was hard to think about anything sexual when Snape was sitting in the bed closest to the door, scowling his greasy scowl.

It didn't stop her heart from turning oddly gooey, however, Tuesday night when she walked into their room to find James napping in a navy blue hoodie she'd never seen on him before. He had snuggled his head into his shoulder with the hood up, and for some reason it just did something for her. He looked so angelic and peaceful and…

"Sup, pumpkin," Sirius said, tickled as all hell to have caught her ogling his sleeping best friend.

Lily cleared her throat. She hadn't been able to look him in the eye ever since he'd watched her climax, even though he had never alluded to it, as if it was no big deal, just an everyday occurrence. She also felt like the more she pretended he didn't even exist in person, the more she could pretend like she wasn't a terrible friend to Remus for what she'd done. "I'm here to check on his progress."

"Check away." The pretty boy crossed his legs at the ankles, still lounging in his bed, turning the page in his magazine in a way that looked so effortlessly cool.

Lily sat down next to Potter, having no idea how he could sleep with all the ruckus his roommates were making. He must have gotten used to it after six years. "Potter," she said softly, jostling his shoulder. "Potter," she repeated a little more loudly. Damn it, even how he woke up, all dazed and confused, was growing on her. She felt a terrible tugging at her heartstrings. She pushed the feeling down. "Wake up, sleepy head."

"Evans," he croaked, his voice hoarse and all together too sexy for her own good.

"Lift your hoodie."

He smirked doing so. "Well. Get on with it, then," he parroted her previous line back to her.

She bit her traitorous lip so it couldn't even think about forming a smile. "You know, I think I liked you better when you were all doped up and cute."

"Oh yeah? Just get me drunk." He winked. "I'm practically the same then."

She had a hard time believing that. "Really?" she challenged. "You're telling me James Potter is a sappy drunk?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Sometimes."

She wanted to ask him some followup questions, but gasped instead when she finally looked down to his abs, bluish and far more cut than when she'd seen them last. "Potter, what the fuck— have you been eating?"

He looked a little sheepish, an expression she'd never seen on him before. "I've been trying—"

"Trying?!" Oh, she was mad. "Potter, if my magic didn't work, you need to go to the hospital wing, for fuck's sake!"

"I can't have her find out—"

"She won't know it was from the raid, just say Sirius did something dumb and you need your stomach repaired, she'll believe it!"

"HEY!"

Lily ignored Sirius, too busy reaming Potter out. "You need to eat. I'm just a student healer, clearly you need a professional. She's not going to bust you, she just wants to make sure you stay alive!"

Lily couldn't believe that Potter actually seemed to be wilting under her wrath, but then again, she supposed few things made it come out as much as people not taking care of themselves. (Or others not taking care of themselves.) "I guess—"

"Good," she said firmly. "Don't make all my hard work to save your arse go to waste." She pulled his jumper back down over his stomach, as much as it pained her to have to cover him up. "Besides, it would probably be good to show your face again around the halls so that people don't think you actually died. People talk. And I don't want to be accused of finally snapping and killing you anymore."

He licked his lips and gave her a coy smile. "You would be the number one suspect."

She scoffed and got to her feet, finally looking at Sirius. "Make sure he goes to the hospital wing, or it's your head I'll have on a spike."

"Is it a healer thing to get so bossy when you're in the zone?" he called after her back. Lily smiled as she snuck out through the door. She supposed it kind of was.

Oh god… Lily thought as she climbed out of the dungeon stairwell and into the Entrance Hall. When had everything gotten so… like this? She didn't even know where Potter and she stood anymore — not really. He was her assignment, then he was her date, turned into her nightmare, then her patient — who was so cute and needy and she just wanted to wrap her arms around him and— stop it.

She had to remember that Potter wasn't who he was when high on drugs — honest and affectionately vulnerable. He was who he'd been in the forest. Cold. Calculated. Cunning. He was a Slytherin, and Lily would never be that because she'd chosen not to be — and that was that. Sure, a bit of his potion-altered personality seemed to linger in all their interactions since, almost as if he'd been too scared to show that part of himself to her before, but after having seen how much Lily actually enjoyed it, he'd let it out a bit more — but no. It was too little, too late. Yeah, maybe if that was his only side, it would be a different story, but it wasn't. He killed people. That was his job.

Meanwhile, she dreamt of saving people. There really wasn't a very big overlap here.

Why couldn't feelings only exist in overlaps?

"Lily!" She startled at the sound of Benjy's voice as he came in through the front door with a broom over his shoulder, windswept and cheerful. She watched as the teammates he had come in with started climbing the stairs back to their dorm, clearly intent on giving him some privacy. "Whatcha up to?"

"Uh," Lily started nervously, feeling very much like she was cheating on someone. It was ridiculous, because she was a single woman who was allowed to do whatever she pleased, but the uneasy feeling remained. The only question was: who did she feel like she was betraying in this moment? James, whose room she had just exited and who could walk right up these steps behind her at any moment considering she'd told him to go to the hospital wing, or Benjy, who had done nothing wrong (in his life?) and whose only crime seemed to be wanting to spend more time with her. The choice should be easy, but it wasn't. "I was just brewing," she lied, nodding her head a little too much. At least she had been brewing Remus' potion earlier…

Benjy threw her an affable smile. "Wow. You sure you shouldn't be in Ravenclaw? Doing extra credit this late at night?"

She humored him with a giggle. She'd lied for Potter's sake before, but it had been under threat of bodily harm to the people she loved. But, he hadn't asked her to lie about this… she just was. She felt filthy, but she'd do it again. "What can I say, I just can't get enough," she supplied awkwardly, playing with her hair.

"Lily," Benjy said seriously, taking a small step forward, instantly putting Lily on edge. She forced herself not to look over her shoulder to see if anyone was coming. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss."

Lily felt the air vacate her lungs — Potter had said nearly the exact same thing in detention, all those weeks ago, and her heart had nearly stopped from it. Now, her heart had nearly done the same, but not because of Benjy, but because he'd just reminded her of the last time she'd heard that phrase. That time with Potter. Lily squeezed her eyes shut. She was in so much deeper than she'd realized. Apparently it didn't matter what she'd seen in the forest, or what Potter did to people; her heart bled for him just the same, despite her own mind's input and wishes. She didn't want to still think about him, she didn't want to yearn for him, but apparently she had absolutely no say in the matter. Just like she sorta felt like she had no say in anything else in her life.

She needed an intervention.

What the fuck am I doing? She opened her eyes to see Benjy, his expression nervous at being left hanging, but still so naively hopefully that she might meet him there in his confession, and she panicked. She wanted to like him, this wonderful guy, who clearly cared about her, and wanted to get to know her, and would be utterly perfect and give her a perfectly content life — you know, if she only gave him the chance. Who cared what Potter thought of all this — he was a bad person, and her obsession with him ended now. It ended today.

"Well, that's a good sign." She smiled at his resulting chuckle and look to the ground, trying to hide his blush. He really was so cute. "Do you wanna go some place?" The words left her mouth before she'd really thought about them, desperate to get out of this open hallway, but she wished so badly she could take them back when she saw his eyes bulge, snapping to hers. Fuck. "Shit— I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like— I'm not trying to shag you or anything, at least not yet—" Oh my fucking god. She should not be allowed in public. "Bollocks," she muttered under her breath.

Benjy chuckled, taking her hand and trying to soothe her battered nerves. "Yes, we can go somewhere, and yes, I will make sure you don't try to shag me yet."

Okay. I see you, Benjy. Lily felt a little moth find its wings in her stomach as he took her for a walk around the lake, blissfully complacent to do nothing more than hold her hand and talk. At the end of the hour, it was the first time that Lily actually thought that maybe she wasn't trying to use him as a crutch to get over someone else. Maybe she could just like him, period.

"There's my favorite healer." Lily heard his voice mere seconds before a heavy arm wrapped around her shoulders, weighing her down more than just physically. She'd known that Potter had been in the hospital wing for a few days, but apparently he'd just been discharged, right in time for breakfast Friday morning.

She uncomfortably wriggled free of his grasp, hoping no one had seen the move as they crossed the threshold into the Great Hall. She turned to face him, seeing him rein in the flicker of betrayal flashing behind his eyes, tempering it with cool apathy. "You're feeling better?"

He held her gaze for about three seconds too long, appraising her. He really needs to figure out how eye contact works. "Much." He threw a glance to his friends at the Slytherin table, already waiting for him. "I can tell you about it over crêpes?" There was a definite edge to his voice that she hadn't heard in a while.

"Um," Lily said awkwardly, pulling on the end of her own braid, "maybe later." She turned on her heel, feeling like turning her back on him wasn't the smartest idea, but still rather proud that she was walking away. She'd acknowledged something was bad for her, so, she'd stopped engaging. Lily patted herself on the back for a job well done.

Benjy pulled her in with a kiss to the cheek as she settled on the bench next to him. They'd started splitting up meals between the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor tables, if only so Lily could get a break from his friends. They were extra loquacious and snooty in the morning in a way that Lily was not ready for. What was the point of all her runs if she'd get amped up right after and need to go on another one to cool off? "What was that?" he asked curiously, jerking his head toward Potter who only now seemed to be walking to his seat.

"Just Head stuff," Lily lied, again. "He's been in the hospital wing, so he has a lot to catch up on."

"Well, I'm glad he'll start pulling his own weight again around here. You've been too stressed this week." Lily gave him a warm smile, trying to assuage his worries and let him know that she had everything under control. "Toast?" he offered.

Lily looked down at her options. "Nah, I can never pass up when the elves make crêpes."

"You're playing with fire, princess," Sirius said as he sat next to Lily in Herbology later in the day, rudely shooing her normal partner, Katie, away.

Lily pulled on her gardening gloves, wiggling her fingers. "How so?"

He scoffed. "Really? That's how you're gonna play it? Like you don't know?" Lily refused to give him the time of day, pulling out her shears and buffing away residual dirt with her sleeve. It seemed as though Sirius really didn't have the patience to pussyfoot around today. "You're being a selfish bitch."

Lily slammed the sharp, metallic object down on her work station — for no particular reason — pointing in his direction. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You know. You fucking know, that's the worst part in all of this."

Lily did a quick scan of the room, seeing if Potter was aware that his dog was on the loose. It seemed like he was notably absent from this class. She wondered if he'd show for Potions later. "I know what you're probably talking about, but I have no clue why—"

Sirius threw his head back, groaning. "Ugh. You have a politician voice sometimes, do you know that? Prongs' mum does the same thing—"

"I am nothing like her," Lily snarled, baring her teeth.

Sirius shot her a dry chuckle. "Then prove it. Don't skirt the issue."

"Tell me what the fucking issue is, and maybe I won't." Lily was aware that they were getting a few stares from their neighboring classmates, but luckily the lesson hadn't started yet. She threw in a fake-ass smile to Sirius, just so people wouldn't think she was crazy. She wasn't sure if it had the intended effect though.

"Prongs. Prongs is the issue. What the hell are you doing with that preppy Ravenclaw?"

"I'm dating him," Lily ground out, feeling like a ventriloquist.

"Bullshit."

Her hands started shaking, trying to keep her voice and face in line with socially acceptable classroom etiquette. "I didn't really think that healing Potter meant I was pledging my loyalty to your side—"

"Fuck sides, Evans. Did you forget about the fact that I saw him eating you out? Did you forget that I saw just how much you liked it?"

Breathe, breathe, breathe. She'd really hoped that that was something they'd never acknowledge so she could pretend that it hadn't happened. Just as much as Lily was trying to compose herself, Sirius seemed determined to self-destruct and take her down with him. Lily watched as shy Hufflepuff Rebecca's ears turned bright red and she shuffled away quickly, clearly trying to get out of their splash zone by pretending to switch out her plant. Lily wished she could join her so she didn't have to hear this shit either. "What does that have to—?"

Sirius wasn't done yet. "Do you think guys just go around eating out everyone?" He threw a hand up. "Like all girls are on an all-you-can-eat buffet and we're just starving all the time?"

Gross. "I don't—" Lily tried, still mortified, "—I don't know his, fuck— what his eating habits are—"

"Plus, it's not like you've ever even blown him back."

Lily's jaw dropped. She leaned in and seriously considered yanking his ear down with her. "Are you mad that I haven't sucked off your best friend?" she hissed. "Is that what this is?" Lily's mind raced, thinking about the time that Potter had specifically told her how he wasn't doing anything to her body to get something in return. Was that a lie too?

"No," Sirius replied like it was a preposterous question — which it was, "although that would be the polite thing to do." Lily had heard enough. She got up to leave, but Sirius grabbed her wrist. "Look. The guy likes you. A lot. You know that. So stop fucking him around already."

Lily pulled her hand back violently. "Just because he has 'feelings' for me—" the air quotes still came from her stubborn belief that psychos couldn't truly love, "—just because he's claimed me, does not mean that I have to bow down to his wishes. I'm allowed to do whatever the hell I want." Sirius angrily opened his mouth, so she plowed right along in her angry whisper. "Also, you want me to stop fucking around? He's the one who's actually fucking other people! You lot are so hypocritical and insane!"

She shouldn't have said that, because Sirius jumped on it like it was the little gold nugget he'd been sifting for this whole time. "Huh," he smiled, relaxing back into his chair, "so if he stops doing that, you'll give him an actual chance?"

Lily pressed her eyes closed and rubbed her forehead. If she'd actually wanted to be with this guy, sure, that would have been a brilliant first step and not something they should have to be told — but she didn't. End of story. "Look, I don't know how to tell you guys this any more clearly: I have no interest in Potter. I want to date Benjy. So if you could both leave me the fuck alone, that would be great." She thought she'd gotten pretty damn good at lying these past few weeks, if she could say so herself.

"Coward," was the word that stabbed her in the back as she walked over to Sprout to collect her sample of the day. She tried to ignore it, but it stung all the same.

It seemed more and more clear to her that the only chance she had to truly fight her way out of this whole shit-storm — for herself and apparently also for others — was by falling in love. She had to. Just not with Potter. With anyone other than Potter.

"Lily! Where are we going?" Benjy laughed as she pulled him down a corridor, away from her dorm. They'd spent a great evening with Remus in her common room, Benjy being a marvelous sport about all the jibes he'd gotten from the other Gryffindors about being 'lost' and 'a little far from home,' and Lily had decided she was ready. She was ready to explore where this relationship could go with him, and how it would be physically (she was very curious about that), and just to deepen this connection already. Besides, he'd slyly asked her if she'd like to visit his dorm as soon as it had gotten late, and Lily wasn't naive enough not to know it was probably because she could walk up to his bedroom while he couldn't walk up to hers.

And yeah, she was also ready for Potter to let her go. If merely seeing her having meals with Benjy was enough to get Sirius to come up to her and 'warn' her, she imagined sleeping with the bloke and making it official would finally send him packing. Potter had said it himself that rarely anything happened in the castle without him knowing, and Lily was about to test that theory. This would show him that she was serious about moving on and that she could really use him leaving her the fuck alone. (Because she knew it would be impossible to get over him if he didn't, especially with how cute he'd been when hurt.) She needed that clean break.

"You'll see," she called out playfully over her shoulder as she pulled him along, looking for the portrait of Boris the Bewildered. "Here it is. Ramification." She gave the password and pulled him inside, watching his eyes light up as he took in the prefects' bathroom for the first time.

"Whoa," he said softly, looking around at the multicolored windows and giant pool-sized tub with about a trillion taps. "I really wish being a Ravenclaw prefect wasn't so competitive right about now."

Lily tittered, closing the door that must have blown back open with the hallway draft. "Don't worry, that's what you got me for."

He gave her a grin, before scratching the back of his neck. "So did you bring me here to take a bath?"

Lily smirked, taking a step closer to him and putting her hands on his chest. "I mean, we could if you wanted to…" She smiled at his awestruck expression before she leaned up to kiss him. He had always made her feel safe with their pecks, and perhaps, after the experiences she'd just had, she needed that.

She tilted her face, moving her hands to his hair so she could shift his the other way, deepening the kiss. He was quite timid in how he snogged, but she was hoping it was just because they were starting out. She hoped to coax out a little more passion from him tonight. "You're a really good kisser," he said breathlessly as they broke apart, giving her a goofy grin.

"She is, isn't she?"

Lily screamed and Benjy jolted about half a meter in the air, both of them turning to face the back of the bathroom where Potter was lounging on the windowsill, the stained glass mermaid behind him casting an eerie red glow on his face. "Perfect lips, perfect moans, perfect amount of bite…" he drawled out slowly, looking at Lily's mouth. She could see his Invisibility Cloak crumpled up by his side.

Benjy looked between Lily and Potter confused, both of them staring at each other as if frozen in place. "Lily… what's going on?"

Lily tore her eyes away, looking at Benjy pleadingly. "I don't…" she trailed off, not quite sure herself.

"You have until the count of five to get out of here before I take my time breaking every bone in your body and then leaving you to choke on your own blood for kissing my girl," Potter said in a voice that sounded both bored and like the most terrifying thing Lily had ever heard.

"Potter, what the fuck? Come on, man. We were just—" Benjy tried.

"One."

"I didn't know she was your girl—!" Lily blanched. She'd told him she wasn't, what was he talking about?

"Two."

Benjy shot Lily an apologetic glance and bolted for the door just as Potter started saying, "Four."

The door slammed behind her date, and Lily looked at it in utter shock, not believing that he'd actually just left her there like this. Left her with him. "You skipped three," she whispered.

She hoped that he'd laugh, or maybe quip that he'd wanted to watch the boy squirm and scurry. He didn't. Lily felt as though the room had plunged twenty degrees and the only heat left was the burn of his gaze on her back. All the hairs on her body rose at once, sending an almighty chill through her. Had she ever been this truly scared to be alone with him?

"Using your cloak to spy on me?" she tried again nonchalantly, anything to make him stop looking at her like she knew he was. He didn't respond, so she turned around, anxious for what she might see. He hadn't moved, as though carved into the stone upon which he sat.

"What are you doing, Lily?" he asked, his voice a deadly calm that she didn't believe for a second. "I thought we were finally getting somewhere."

She swallowed, forcing the very little saliva she had down her parched throat. She couldn't lie to him when he looked like this, she just couldn't stomach it. "We can't be together. You know this." He licked his upper lip and raised his chin. "I can't be with someone who hurts people. I won't do it."

"Even though you want to?"

Lily squeezed her eyes shut, trying to drown out his statement. She decided to reveal the true crux of the issue, feeling like she had so few options left at this point. "You'll never be mine. Not really. You'll always belong to him first." She didn't want to admit her feelings to him — it made her feel weak and pathetic, and frankly, like a goddamn fool. If he broke her heart again, or worse, got her killed, no one would pity her. She'd go down as the biggest joke in history — the girl who was idiotic enough to fall for the very man who was trying to destroy her.

When her eyes fluttered back open, his impassive face had cracked, as if finally seeing where she was coming from. "So it really is about loyalty?"

"Potter—" she sucked in a deep breath, "—James." She wished he'd just get down off his ledge and come over to her already. "We're too different. We stand for different things. We—" her voice wavered as she looked to the ground, not wanting to crumble at his feet with the glower he was giving her, with the fucking face he had, "—you aren't what I want."

James flinched before his lip curled menacingly. "Look at me, and say that, again."

Was her top too tight? Why did it seem so goddamn hard to expand her chest in order to breathe all of a sudden? "I don't want you," she whispered, forcing her mouth to utter words she knew to be false, her whole body shaking. She did want him, she wanted him with every fiber of her being — but I shouldn't. "You don't mean anything to me. You never have."

All the muscles on his face seemed to stiffen. "So you're trying to tell me it's still just about the sex for you, then?"

"Yep."

"You still only like my cock."

"You're just a dildo that leaves the bedroom and goes on their own little adventures. That talks back to me. You're just a sassy, evil dildo." Was nervous rambling a sigh that she was losing her mind? She thought it might be. Why are my hands still shaking?

He snorted, mouth curving into a smirk. "Why do I think that's so cute, Evans?"

"Because you're a fucked up person."

"Oh. Thanks," he answered sarcastically.

She could do this. All she had to do was stay strong for one more minute, one more minute and he was sure to storm out of the room and move on to his next victim. I mean, it sounds like he has plenty of candidates with how many girls he's already sleeping with…

"Take off your shirt," Potter commanded monotonously.

Lily startled, feeling as though she'd just been zapped by one of her own electric jolt spells. "What—"

"Take off. Your shirt," he repeated, tilting his head to the side slightly, clearly intent on flexing his power over her.

With trembling fingers, Lily crossed her arms over her torso, reaching down for the hem of the navy top she'd picked out after class, her mind definitely not thinking about how good the color had looked on him when she'd found him in his hoodie. Eyes trained on him, she pulled up her shirt, watching as Potter's dropped down to take in her flat stomach and white, patterned bra, designed to look like seashells. Knowing what she must look like right now made her feel even more innocent under his predatory gaze.

"Now your jeans."

Was he really going to make her strip for him from across the room? And why am I doing it? Well, she knew why. But it didn't mean she couldn't be disappointed with her own lack of willpower all the same. Lily found her fingers popping open her button and shimmying the skintight material down her legs, revealing cute, black underwear. He still hadn't moved. Against her better judgement, she wanted him to come closer.

Out of the blue, he let out a dry, humorless chuckle before getting to his feet and approaching her slowly — too slowly. Lily couldn't stop tracking his progress, every step echoing through the room, feeling like a death sentence. He stopped just out of reach, fully dressed, with Lily feeling bare and vulnerable before him. "Your bra," he said, almost like a question, as if she had the choice to say no, to say enough. But she didn't; Lily reached behind her back and unbuckled the snap easily, letting her tits bounce free as she discarded the garment to the floor. Now she was really exposed.

"Happy?" she whispered, sort of hoping that he was, and kind of wishing that he wasn't. She liked him when he was angry. She liked him when he felt like teaching her a lesson. It excited her in a way that nothing else could.

He ignored her question. "You know," he said softly as he started circling her, leaving Lily to stand perfectly still, facing the window as though accepting her fate. "I can't believe that I used to think that the boys you were with were the ones who treated you like shit." He was behind her, his breath on her shoulder. "Because… it's you. You treat people like shit."

Touch me, touch me. "What do you mean?" she breathed.

He backed off, going back to his little circle around her. "You use people, Lily." Ah, yes. Just like Sirius said, she thought dismissively. He continued, "You used all those boys you fucked before me as sex toys, to try to fix yourself. To try to find a way to satisfy yourself, even though you cared nothing for them." It was harsh, but somewhat true. She wouldn't admit it though. "You use Remus to feel less lonely." Lily opened her mouth in righteous shock, but he drove on, "You use your teachers to validate your own sense of self-worth—"

"I'm pretty sure that one's normal," Lily interrupted, gritting her teeth.

"Is it though?" James rubbed his jaw, as though the slight stubble growing there was irritating him. "Most people I know don't truly give a shit what their teachers think about them. Not really, and definitely not enough to change their behavior. And yet, I threatened Minnie one time, and you shut down." He was in front of her again, his head tilted lower so she couldn't miss him. "Most people wouldn't blink if they thought they could stop what they deemed 'evil,' even if it meant one professor got hurt in the process. So," he clasped his hands behind his back, "either you're not as gung-ho for your ideals as you say you are, or you have some serious self-esteem issues and don't know who you are unless someone is telling you that you're doing good."

Lily balled her hands into fists. "You do not get to say shit about—"

"Lily," he took a step closer to her, invading her space, "we've talked about this, love." He leaned down into her ear, grinning when he saw the way she reacted to his proximity. "I can say, and do, whatever I want with you, and to you, whenever I want… because you like it."

Fuck.

He continued murmuring mercilessly, not touching her, but still making all her nerves short-circuit and fry. "You say I'm this terrible person, baby, but you still sleep with me. You think you can treat me like shit, because of who I am, and what I do… but what does that say about you?" He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, finally touching her by skimming the outer ridge, and Lily didn't think any part of her body had ever become an erogenous zone faster. "What does it mean if you can't even show the tiniest modicum of respect to the person you're bedding? Doesn't that make you the bad guy?" The fingers holding her hair turned possessive, yanking by the base of her neck, tilting her face up to him.

With his mouth hovering directly over hers, she knew he wouldn't miss a syllable of her whispered taunt: "No, it just means that you don't deserve my respect."

Potter parted his lips, looking like he was considering swallowing her whole for her disobedience, but merely panted instead, his eyes burning and his nostrils flaring, considering his next move. "You think this is easy for me?" he growled. "You think I want to like you? You think this doesn't make me look like a fool, chasing after a girl who all my friends disapprove of?" Lily tried breathing, but found that she really, truly couldn't. He was so close, and his words were so scary and there— right there, in her face. This was the sort of thing she'd been wondering about for so long; she couldn't believe he was finally addressing it, more so than a little flippant, 'It doesn't matter to me.' "I don't want to like you, Lily. It makes me weak. It's embarrassing. Even the Dark Lord disapproves."

Her heart stopped. Voldemort knew James liked her? What the actual fuck? She supposed Dumbledore knew that she had slept with him, but that didn't mean… it wasn't like…

But this could be her out. "Then stop," she challenged, neck aching from the angle he was keeping her trapped in. "Let me go."

His brows furrowed, expression looking pained. "You think I haven't tried?" he whispered.

"Not very hard," she spat, nose twitching.

James scoffed, grip on her hair finally loosening a little bit as though he wished to resume pacing. "You're one to speak. Every time I so much as look at you, you get wet."

Fuck his enunciation and fuck his observations and his obsession and his power and charm and— just everything about him. Truly. "Fuck. You."

"I have been. And I'm done pretending like I don't want to do it some more." With his free hand, he reached for his belt, unbuckling it, the sound so loud in the absolute quiet of the room. Lily swallowed, knowing what she was about to do. She hadn't had Potter like that yet, but that didn't mean she hadn't been thinking about it for weeks — remembering his face when he'd come in Olivia's mouth. She was ready for a taste of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Potter asked as Lily tried sinking to her knees, still holding her up by the hair. Understanding dawned on his face. "What the fuck, Evans? You think going down on me is a punishment?"

Lily had no idea what to say. She didn't think it was, she actually rather enjoyed giving boys their orgasms, but… how was that not where he was going with this?!

He scoffed as he pulled his belt out of his trouser loops, spinning her on her heel, and wrapping the leather around both her forearms behind her back, pulling it — and her — into his chest instantly. "You're so twisted, love," he whispered in her ear before summoning a lit candle from the chandelier overhead. "So, so twisted." He dipped the candle down, spilling a little droplet of hot wax onto her chest.

Lily groaned, dropping her head back onto his shoulder, feeling the wax prickle before hardening on her skin. He barely gave her time to process the novel sensation before he was dripping more and more, forming little red rivets of heat down her breasts. "James…" she moaned.

"Do you know what you did wrong tonight, Lily?" he asked condescendingly, moving the candle over her nipple. She knew it would sting the worst if he tipped it there. She was torn between egging him on, and tapping out.

"Yes," she bit out, squirming her back against him, trying to rub his erection with her bum. He tugged his belt lower, making her body arch away from his. He wasn't in the mood for her retaliatory games.

"What did you do wrong, Lily?"

The one second delay it took her to respond gave him enough time to spill hot wax just left of her areola, dripping down to her stomach before drying. "I kissed someone else," she whimpered.

"You did, didn't you?" Lily nodded her head slightly, not knowing what he wanted her to say. She was literally already bending over backwards for him.

His lips skimmed her jaw sensually. "Will you stop?"

He had some nerve. "Will you?" she shot back at him.

She felt him grin against her skin, thinking he'd won. "Yes. If you want me to. We can be exclusive."

She barely held in a nervous laugh. This isn't how you ask a girl out, Potter, it just isn't.

He took her silence as rejection. She could feel it. "Bend over," he said, banishing the candle, and taking a step back from her as though he could no longer even bear her presence.

"Excuse me?" she stuttered, trying to steady herself on her feet without his support behind her.

A single finger trailed down her lower spine, eliciting a shiver. "I'm only good for sex to you, right?" His voice cut to her very core: exciting her, terrifying her. "So," his digit caught on her knickers, pulling them over the curve of her arse, and letting gravity do the rest, "I'm gonna fulfill my sole purpose to you… and fuck you all night."

Lily gasped, not sure if she'd ever heard a more delightful threat in her life.

"Don't make me say it again, Evans: Bend. Over."

She did. Arms still tied behind her back, Lily bent at the waist, widening her feet, ready for him.

Next Chapter: The Confession

Okay, I know, I know — don't kill me, I promise I ended it here for a reason.