Hey guys! How we doing? O.o Sorry, I just really needed you to feel the frustration that Lily did, you know, to get in her headspace O:)

Soooo... when I warned that this chapter was all smut: it is ALL smut. If you're not into kink, skip skip skip. We're really getting into the dark decline now.

Warning: More BDSM aspects (rough handling, bed tied, edging, borderline sexual torture? Idk) and exhibitionism. None-rough blowjob. Again: If this does bother you, but you want to continue the story, let me know and I can summarize what happens for you.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Art work by the super talented blvnk-art (tumblr) aka potterbyblvnk (insta)

Song: Two Weeks by FKA twigs

The Confession

With bated breath, she waited. She was standing there in this cold bathroom, with dried wax on her chest, her arms tied behind her back, her knickers around her ankles, bent over, waiting for him to take her. So why the hell isn't he?

An evil, apathetic chuckle behind her made her close her eyes slowly in shame, realizing just how well she'd just been played. He'd taken his hurt at her rejection, at her insistence that she wanted nothing to do with him romantically, and flipped it within minutes, as if to say, 'You may claim you don't want to date me, but look how much you still want me. Look how easy it was to get you to do exactly as I say.' Lily didn't straighten up. If anything, she just slouched down further.

"Sucks not getting what you want, doesn't it?"

Lily couldn't take it anymore, she couldn't take him. She stood back up, making for the wall, the door, she didn't even know, just anywhere that wasn't close to him, her cheeks burning in embarrassment, remembering just how much she hated him — just how much he was preying on her weaknesses and seemingly trying to mold her into this perfect pet for him. (And the terrible truth was that it was working, it was working so well, because she actually wanted to be that for him.)

He laughed some more, grabbing for the belt still tying her forearms together against her back. "Where do you think you're going?" She screamed, trying to free herself, but the angle was too strange, and he was too strong. "Shhh, sh sh sh sh," he cooed in her ear, drawing her back into his chest, one hand wrapping around her and resting on her collarbone. "Easy, Evans."

"Fuck you, fuck you—"

He absorbed her writhing, summoning his Cloak and pushing it into this back pocket. "I don't see why you thought I'd reward you for your bad behavior, love."

"You're fucking sick—"

He sighed, somehow thinking he was allowed to show exasperation in this moment. "Evans—"

"You fucking disgust me—"

"If all you're going to do is lie…" Lily groaned silently as he took her voice from her — again. Sure, he'd helped her conquer nonverbal magic, but what good was that when her wand was currently sticking out of her jeans on the floor? He summoned it and pocketed it as well. "Excellent. Now: you're coming with me."

Lily dug her heels into the ground when Potter tried dragging her to the exit, trying to scream with her eyes, 'I'm fucking naked!' He considered her for a moment, and Lily had never been more grateful for his possessive streak than when she saw his eyes lingering on her curves before deciding that he did in fact want to cover her up. (After he had spanked her arse of course.)

The Invisibility Cloak didn't stop Lily from feeling exposed as hell as Potter dragged her down six stories into the dungeons, the only thing stopping her from flashing almost every portrait in the castle all her goods being a thin, wispy piece of magic fabric.

They finally got to his dorm room, Lily's legs burning from having had to keep up with his long, provoked strides, and Potter pushed them through without hesitation.

"Prongs! There you are, I was wondering—"

"One second," he snarled, towing an invisible Lily across his room and tossing her onto his bed, climbing in behind her and drawing his curtains shut. He pulled off his Cloak, finding her sprawled on her stomach, and quickly untied her arms.

Lily spun over, ready to fight him, ready to kick him in the groin and demand justice for how he'd just hauled her over half the castle, but he'd been ready, expecting her tantrum and pinning her down to his mattress.

Lily was yelling at him, every swear word in the English language she could think of was soundlessly rolling off her tongue, but all that was heard was the rowdy boys of his room, speaking of their Friday night plans, all trying to one up each other as they got ready to go out. She knew that he wasn't going to give her what she really wanted right now — he would never submit to her so easily, he was carved of ice — so she was starting to get a bad feeling about what his true retaliation would be. As soon as he pulled out his wand, and she saw those damn ropes again, tying her to his bedposts, she knew. He was going to trap her here and leave her, while he and his friends went out and did Merlin knew what for who knew how long.

He smiled down at her as the realization dawned on her face, relishing in her self-pitying alarm. No, no, don't you dare leave me, don't you dare—!

"Yes, Evans. I think you need some time to think about how you treat people," he sassed, carelessly flicking off the remnants of candle wax crumbling on her breasts. She tried leaning forward and biting him, basically the only show of displeasure she had left in her arsenal. He laughed, bending down and kissing her nose, dodging her teeth. "Maybe you'll realize how good you actually have it after a little self-reflection." He took her wand out of his pocket and made it vibrate, slower than usual, and Lily's eyes widened, realizing what he was about to do just seconds before he did it. She froze, looking at him with nothing but sheer panic shining in her eyes. She was begging him, absolutely pleading, not to do this to her. Not to leave her like this when she was already so damn horny. She had no idea how long she could last being sexually teased with no penetration in sight, and she really didn't want to find out.

He ignored her. Casting a sticking charm between her legs, he placed her buzzing wand against her clit. He kissed her forehead, clearly all about the face kisses tonight, as she gasped. "I'll see you in a bit; try not to miss me too much."

She wondered if it was too late to grovel, if it was too late to mouth, 'I'm sorry, and I'll never even look at another man again if you want, but please, please, just don't go,' but in the blink of an eye, he'd drawn the curtains around her, leaving her to her own personal hell.

Lily had a lot of thoughts in that hour or so when Potter was out of reach and her clit buzzed, no matter how much she writhed and wriggled in her restraints, and most of them revolved around just how badly she wanted to get fucked. She had always known that she was probably more of a sexual person than most of her peers, her commitment to her morning ritual had shown her that much, but she had never, ever, felt more like a sex addict possessed than when James Potter had denied her the very thing she wanted from him most while also ensuring that she would remain as primed and ready to go as possible the whole time he was away.

In an extra cruel twist, it seemed as though he wasn't actually leaving to go far. As if he knew how sexy she found his voice, he remained to orbit around his bed, continuing to speak deep, loud double entendres meant for her as he was talking to his friends. She honestly wouldn't have been surprised if she snapped his bed clean in two with the strength of her need for him.

Unable to do anything else, she came the first time while one of his roommates, either Mulciber or Macnair, was asking him if he was worried about Fenwick, 'stealing his Mudblood.' The way Potter had smugly answered, 'Nah, she's mine. It's not a problem.' Had ricocheted the vibrations of her wand throughout her whole body, making Lily pretty sure she pulled a muscle in her neck from awkwardly having to remain in her spreadeagled position as she came. Her nub had screamed at her afterward, trying to let her know it needed a break from the hyper-stimulation it was receiving in full force, but she was powerless to help herself, so she had to push through, accepting the next waves of pleasure as they broke through her discomfort.

The second time, the conversation she'd been hearing had been a less opportune moment to unravel, considering she actually wanted to hear what he was talking about rather than freakishly getting turned on by his authoritative claim over her. When clearly only Sirius and Potter were left in the room, the conversation had turned to business, making Lily wonder if perhaps he'd forgotten that she was still trapped in his bed. Potter stopped projecting his voice like he had earlier, but Lily still strained her ears, trying to hear every last word.

"Is it secure now?" Potter asked.

"Yes. Mother had the elves working around the clock to fix all the wards for tomorrow night. It'll look like an abandoned mill to everyone else."

Potter chuckled. "I'm surprised she's lending it to us."

Sirius huffed. "Well, with the way Reggie is shaping up, I think she's just embarrassed. She doesn't want the Dark Lord to forget where true Black loyalties lie, even if Reg is off doing who knows what, fighting for vermin rights or—"

"Right," Potter cut off what was obviously a well rehearsed gripe of Sirius'. "Sorry about losing your lake house." She didn't have to see him to know the corner of his mouth was twitching.

"Git." Lily watched as a pillow was thrown against the outside of her — Potter's — bed curtain before falling to the ground. "Just means I'll have to use yours instead."

"Well…" Try as she might, Lily couldn't hold on, her wand taking no prisoners as it brought her back under to the realm of blank minds and trembling limbs.

An eternity or a heartbeat later, when all the voices of the room had dispersed and cleared out, Potter opened the curtains slowly, revealing her to him once more.

She had no idea how she looked, but she was pretty sure it was wet and pathetic as she continued to pant and writhe, just needing the buzzing pressure against her clit to please relent already. She eyed him desperately, begging for his help.

He watched her for a few seconds, crossing his arms leisurely. "How's my favorite girl?"

'Please, please,' she mouthed, ready to tell him any goddamn thing he wanted to hear.

"Want me to take this off?" He pointed to her wand.

She nodded her head vigorously, willing to do anything.

"Let's hear you say it."

Lily hadn't even realized he'd taken the silencing spell off of her, her brain almost as numb as her whole lower half. "Please, James, please—"

He smiled, using his wand to unstick hers, and Lily loudly whimpered, feeling as though she could finally think in more than half-formed whims and desires again. Course that meant that she was back to fully formed whims, like needing James to finally do the damn job he'd all but promised her an hour ago. But, she supposed it was at least a step in the right direction. Or so she thought. "Pads and I are going to go to the pub, so—" he began, pointing over his shoulder to the bathroom.

"No," Lily exclaimed before she'd even processed his words. "No, you will not."

He crossed his arms again, fully amused at this girl tied to his bed, trying to call the shots. "Really?"

"No, James. You're gonna fuck me, or so help me Merlin—"

"What? Or what, Lils?"

Maybe threatening him was the wrong way to go about this. Lily closed her eyes and sank her head back into his pillow, exposing her neck and arching her chest out to him. She knew his eyes wouldn't be able to resist raking over her body when she put herself on display so unabashedly. The tightening of his trousers when she looked back at him through hooded eyes confirmed this. "Please, James. I need you right now." She watched as his back stiffened and his irises went from honey hazel to a lustful blackhole, pulling her in, promising their mutual destruction. She knew just what she had to say: "Make love to me, James."

She also knew it was below the belt, perhaps even a little manipulative given the feelings for her that he had — however warped and deviant they were — but she didn't presently care. She really did need him in that moment — needed him to fill that ache she felt inside of her, growing stronger and more insurmountable by the second, and she knew that only he could.

It worked. He moved as though he'd been possessed, fumblingly pushing down his trousers and pants and tearing his shirt over his head, before climbing on top of her, settling himself between her legs and hovering over her face, his cock pressing into her thigh. It had passed her in the blink of an eye, but the powder blue color of her velvet scrunchie had been unmistakable — he was still wearing it on his left wrist.

James took in the crinkle around her eyes, the way she was biting her lip, as though he'd never seen a sight more beautiful, as though she'd been crafted solely for his benefit and he would never forget it. "Lily," he breathed, dipping his lips to hers gently, nudging her with his nose before he kissed her. Nothing had ever tasted as sweet as his mouth, his body grinding into hers as his hands roamed, one hand clutching at her jaw, never wanting to let go.

Lily wiggled, trying to slot him inside of her. "Come on, James," she whispered.

He pulled back slightly, needing to watch her. "Tell me how badly you want me, baby."

Like that was even hard to admit at this point. "I want you, James—"

"How badly?" His hips had an unexpected stutter, and Lily gasped, feeling both his cock, so close to where she needed it, and the ropes digging into her wrists.

"So, so fucking badly, fuck—"

"And you won't be with anyone else?"

Lily bit her bottom lip, knowing honestly, who would ever be able to compete with this? "No, baby," she told him wholeheartedly.

"Say it. Fuck, Lils, just say it—"

"I'm yours. I'm your girl." He growled encouragingly, and she knew she was on the right track to pleasing him. "It's just you. You're the only one who's ever gotten me there." James braced himself onto both his forearms, his chest brushing against her nipples as he lined himself up. "You're the only one who ever will," she whimpered, her anticipation nearly boiling over in her lower stomach.

Her words washed over him and she wasn't sure who looked more desperate in that moment, as he screwed his eyes shut and furrowed his brow. "Tilt your hips up for me, love."

She'd never obeyed a command faster.

James fed himself into her slowly, torturously, and Lily almost came from the relief of it alone, moaning recklessly. Finally. She felt every tantalizing, pulsing centimeter of him, bit by bit, rubbing against her front wall as he made her whole.

When he was fully inside of her, he kissed her lips and then her cheeks where she hadn't even realized a few tears had escaped. She'd needed this so badly, it had physically throbbed. "Don't cry, baby girl," he cooed, almost sounding worried.

"It just feels so good," she groaned, wanting him to know. "Let me be on top," she said suddenly, even surprising herself.

"What?" he panted, his hips stilling from their already drawn-out movements.

She leaned into his face, trying to reassure him with kisses and a gentle tug on his bottom lip. That he still had any argument left in him meant he was not as far gone as she was, and she needed to get him there, bring him down to her level, stat. "Just let me fuck you for once, please." Her chest heaved with the effort it took to contain herself. "I need this."

James' eyes oscillated from her lips to her eyes, a coy smile growing on his face. "All right." He banished her ropes and Lily wasted no time, flipping them over, and sinking herself back down on top of him.

"Fuck," she moaned, throwing her head back. When she glanced down to him, she was acutely aware that he looked just like he had in her dream that first time, his hands even finding purchase on her hips in the same way as his eyes glowed with reverence.

"Go for it, Evans."

His encouragement was all she needed. Intent on making him forget his own name while she finally got her own fill of him, she rocked her body over his again and again, grateful and pleasured and — fucking hell — she was going to come straight away. "James—" she moaned.

But he merely grinned at her, one of his large hands coming up to cradle her breasts, stopping them from bouncing too painfully as she chased her orgasm. "Do it."

Lily had no idea how she'd gone from the girl who couldn't come, to the one who could come three times in an hour, but that was a conundrum to ponder at a later date. Right now was the time to use James' body to fucking get it, grinding away against him as though her life depended on it. She nearly screamed when he lifted his hips up for her, the small movement making the biggest of differences in sensation deep within her, and she felt as though she was hanging on by a thread. Her nails on his pecs dug into him as she leaned over him for leverage, and her hair fell past her shoulder, curtaining one side of her face.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the side blocking where the bathroom was. In her periphery, she watched as Sirius opened the door, his expression going from impassive to somewhat surprised in the blink of an eye.

James turned to the source of her distraction, and reached for his bed curtain, ready to shield them from view. Lily's hand on his wrist, well, on her scrunchie, halted his movement. "Wait—" He looked at her confused. Why, she had no idea, since they'd done this somewhat before. She guessed that tonight, it was more of a conscious choice of shagging in front of him — of putting on a show for his best friend — rather than a failed attempt to sneak something by him. "He can watch," she breathed. Her eyes darted all over James' face, trying to gauge his reaction, trying to see if she'd gone too far, or asked for something just a little too naughty for him. She was petrified… yet still felt in her heart of hearts that he'd catch her. She knew that whatever she'd say or do would never be met by his judgment or shame. He would meet her there in her desires, because they were almost the exact same as his.

They'd always been.

James' grin had never been more crooked on his face. Unable to help himself, he sat up, hands clutching at her back, holding her closer against him. "Whatever you want, love."

Good, because she wanted this. Lily ran her hands through his hair and pulled him into her neck, James instantly getting the picture and latching on, sucking a fresh trail of hickeys in his wake. As much as his mouth and cock were working in tandem to make her lids droop and her head roll back, she fought it, so her eyes could remain trained on Sirius. She knew he'd caught her in a lie — because after all, she'd just tried to tell him that she had no interest in his best mate whatsoever — but it didn't feel like that. This felt more like her gaze was a challenge, telling him that she didn't care what he said or what he thought about her intentions or motivations, because here she was, getting fucked by James all the same, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

She smiled and looked back to James when she saw Sirius' hand disappear inside of his pants, not needing to watch to know what he was about to do next. Lily pulled James' face back by his locks, her own above his as she slowed her hips to a steady circular rock, her figure all poetry and grace. "Tell me how much you like me, James."

He tilted his chin up as his hands trailed to her hips, jolting her flush against him and making her groan carnally. "You know how much I do."

She grinned as she clenched down on him with her vaginal muscles, relishing in how his cocky expression rippled and dissolved in return.

He growled as he rose to her challenge, manipulating her body up and down his, bouncing her in time to his thrusts, and Lily held on, feeling herself get right back to that edge that Sirius had so rudely interrupted her from. "You belong to me, Lils. You know that too," James moaned in her ear, knowing what it would do to her.

And it did. Lily screamed his name, not caring if the other grades — hell, other dorms — heard her, because she had earned this orgasm and she wouldn't stifle one bit of it for the world. As Lily twitched and squeezed him against her with all her might, James propelled them onto her back, plunging into her some more, making Lily scratch down his spine with the depth of his thrusts, until he came with his own call of her name, buried into her neck.

Lily thought she could lay like this, with him sweaty and panting — and still inside of her — forever. She would gladly give up her ability to easily breath in order to feel his heavy chest pressing her into his mattress. It weirdly gave her comfort and reminded her of exactly what they had just done to each other.

Lily planted a lazy kiss on his temple, spent and glowing, as she lolled her head back to where Sirius was standing. She smirked as she saw him clean himself up. They didn't say anything to one another as he retreated back to the bathroom and she heard the shower start up, and yet she knew she'd won this round.

James pulled back slightly, propping himself up just above her face, looking drowsy and oddly adorable for someone who'd just ravished her so thoroughly. "Still going out?" she teased lightly, pushing his hair back off his face.

"No. And neither are you."

Lily raised an eyebrow smugly. "Really?"

"You have two options." He twitched his hips and smirked when her eyes fluttered closed, trying to fight the way he could always make her feel. "Either you stay tied up or you stay free, but if you make a run for it, you force my hand, and there goes your choice."

"Guess I'll stay then."

His smile turned genuine as he leaned down to steal another kiss. "Smart girl."

Lily realized she was letting herself get taken in by a false, and truthfully dangerous, sense of security right now. Admitting (somewhat) that he liked her didn't excuse the fact that he'd just threatened to brutally murder another boy for trying to hook up with her. It didn't excuse that he'd basically just sexually tortured her until she'd nearly lost her mind and had only been able to get it back by riding him until everything clicked back into place. But I want it to, she thought lethargically, with a satisfied smile on her face as he pulled the blanket over them after he'd dragged her around to the right side of the bed. I really, really want it to.

James pulled her into his chest, resting his chin atop her head, and Lily wasn't sure when the last time she'd been cuddled like this was. When the last time she'd felt this loved was. It was insane — because she was literally falling asleep in the arms of a Death Eater.

Lily felt a lot of things upon waking up on Saturday morning. Hungry, because she sure as hell had worked up an appetite the night before. Warm, because James' arms were still wrapped around her tight. Sore, because, um, well… But mostly just happy — stupidly, upsettingly content because the boy she'd fancied had fought for her, perhaps a little unorthodoxly, and she was now waking up beside him.

She also felt like an idiot.

How could she fall in love with him? How had her target, the bad guy she was supposed to be milking for all his wicked plans, been exactly the man who could make her wretched heart (and body) finally feel something? It didn't make any sense. But looking at his divine, perfectly innocent sleeping face, it was so plainly, painfully obvious to her: she was fucking in love with him.

Fuck, I am.

So what the hell did she do now? How could she even look him in the eye knowing that she was about to run off and tell Dumbledore exactly what she'd just heard him say last night to Sirius? By the sound of it, the Death Eaters had found themselves a new headquarters after their last one had been raided, and while she didn't know where Sirius' family lake house was located, it wasn't like that wasn't something someone in the Ministry could easily look up. They could get them — perhaps all of them — and end this nightmare for good. Muggles and Muggle-borns alike would be safe again.

But will they take him too? a silly little voice in her head asked. If they storm the headquarters… they'll arrest him. You'll never see him again.

Could she live with that? She should be able to, it would fix all of her problems, except one: she loved him.

Stupid. Fucking. Idiot.

Lily pulled in a huge breath, trying to calm her swirling thoughts. She had to tell the Order; it was the right thing to do, no matter how she felt about James. She had a duty to the Order; she had a duty to all of Wizarding kind.

Holy shit… Lily jerked slightly, a deeply troubling realization settling in her gut. Is that how he feels as well? She knew his logic and ideals were twisted, but did he justify himself in the exact same way that she had right now? Did he think that even though he fancied her, and betraying her would hurt, he still had to do what was best — what was his duty — for his side? Were the pair of them really two sides of the same coin? The only difference between them was, if he did his duty, she might end up dead, while if she fulfilled hers, he'd probably only end up imprisoned (although with Moody's penchant for explosions, death was always a possibility). But he told me he'd never hurt me. He told me he'd never let anything happen to me… Lily really hoped she wouldn't be made into a fool for still believing those words.

As if hearing her contentious inner monologue, James opened his eyes groggily, his face instantly slipping into an easy smile with the sight of hers sharing the pillow before him.

"Morning," she breathed.

His arms squeezed her, making sure she was real. "So that all wasn't a dream then, huh?"

She tittered, damn charm. "Nope. Not a dream."

He blinked away his sleep, kissing her forehead before drawing back and regarding her. "What are you thinking of, love?"

She sucked on her lower lip. Everything. Too bad there was no way she could tell him that yet. It had taken him literally dragging her to his room and tying her to his bed to get her to admit to herself that there was still something in her heart beating for him, something that she couldn't ignore, so perhaps it would be wise to still keep those revelations to herself. Perhaps if he said his feelings (more so than a barely committal 'we can be exclusive') first, she could take the plunge. Perhaps if he opened his heart and showed her how it beat just for her as well, she might consider joining him there in that vulnerability. (After all, just like he didn't want to reward her for her bad behavior, she sure as shit didn't want to do the same for him.) Lily absentmindedly traced patterns on his shoulder as she stalled.

But she still wanted to say something. Maybe something small. Perhaps she'd just have to show him how she felt… physically. It wasn't sitting right with her that he was living under the false impression that she didn't want to blow him, but instead thought of it as some sort of punishment. Maybe he's a blazing idiot too, because who in their right mind wouldn't want to blow James Potter?

Lily pushed James onto his back, before pulling the sheet wrapped around their torsos down with her on her slow but steady descent to between his legs.

"Lils— what are you—?"

"Sh, Potter. Let me take care of you." She remembered how he'd told her this phrase one of the first times they'd hooked up, and how hot she'd found it. "Sirius brought up that I haven't blown you yet—"

"What?" James jolted uncomfortably. "When?"

Oh. So he hadn't known? "In class."

James rolled his eyes. "Cad." He let out a huge sigh and she waited patiently for him to explain himself. "He asked me how you were at it and I told him I didn't know. He kind of took it and ran."

Damn. He hadn't been trying to guilt her into reciprocating after all, he just hadn't lied to his best friend about what he and Lily had been up to — which seemed rather noble, to be honest. She would have been far more pissed if he had made up that she had been giving him head this whole time.

He tugged on a strand of her hair, almost sheepishly. "Sorry. I'm shit at lying to my mates."

Lily's heart clenched — she wasn't. How long now had she been keeping what she'd been doing in front of Sirius from Remus? Rather than dwell on that uncomfortable fact, Lily returned to the task at hand, sinking back down below his waist.

"Babe, you don't have to—"

Lily looked up at him from his morning wood, standing proud in all its glory, confused. Why was he trying to talk her out of it? "Do you not want me to?" she asked, a little hurt.

"No— I mean, yes, of course I want you to suck me off," he said quickly, running a hand through his hair, all fidgety. "It's just…"

Lily licked her lips. "Just what?" He let out a nervous chuckle, looking up at the canopy of his bed before rubbing both his palms over his face. "James, what is it?" Lily pressed, his nerves transferring over to her. How was this boy in front of her the same man who had dripped hot wax on her and bent her over in the prefects bathroom like it was his own personal sex dungeon? How was she supposed to reconcile these two facets of his personality into one, beautifully deranged, man?

He mumbled from under his hands. "You think I'm a good lover, don't you?"

Lily scoffed, the question absolutely absurd, because of course he was, hadn't he been paying attention? But it was the wrong reaction to have. She panicked as she felt his legs stiffen beneath her. "Yes. For fuck's sake, of course I do. I wasn't lying, no one else can make me come, James. Only you." Does he just want another ego rub instead of… another kind of rub?

"Well… I want to keep it that way," he admitted, dejectedly.

"What?" Lily questioned, not at all following.

He finally uncovered his face and propped himself up to his elbows, just as Lily made her way back over to him, sensing he needed the comfort of her proximity. He drew a giant breath to work up the courage to say: "I don't want to ruin the way you see me."

Having already nearly laughed in his face only moments before, she decided not to do it again. Pushing aside her quip of, Too late for that one, buddy, she decided to be sympathetic. "In what way?"

He tried looking in her eyes, but settled for her shoulder instead. "I don't think I'd last very long if you were to blow me."

Lily jerked her head back. "I mean, I've seen you getting head, James. You lasted plenty." She would never have imagined this was a conversation she could so easily be having with a boy in the comfort of his bed on a lazy Saturday morning. Yet here they were…

"Yeah," James sighed, reaching out to play with the ends of her hair again, "but that wasn't when it was from someone I've literally dreamt of going down on me since I learnt it was even a thing."

He finally looked at her, and Lily felt her heart melt. Again, it made absolutely no sense, because telling a girl that she'd been his first wet dream, or wank material, or whatever he was confessing to right now, had positively no right to be romantic, and yet it was making Lily feel awfully emotional. "James, I—"

"It's only ever been you for me, Lily," he confessed, moving his fingertips up to trace her cheek. "Only you."

Shit. It didn't escape her notice that she'd just assured him of his sexual prowess, and he'd turned around and used those exact same words to try to tell her how much he cared for her. Was he mimicking her on purpose to more easily manipulate her? Or was it actually because he'd never confessed anything of the sort, and was trying to learn from her love language?

Lily leaned in slowly, accepting him at his honest word as her eyes fluttered all over his face, trying to memorize everything about this moment, before locking him in for a sweet, tender kiss.

He did it. He told you how he felt about you.

She still wasn't ready to reciprocate. She had so fucking much to consider. Hopefully telling him that she wouldn't pursue anyone else was enough for him at the moment.

"I would never judge you for the speed at which you came in my mouth, James," she teased with a smile as she drew back. He opened his lids slowly, his mouth already formed into a smirk from her tone alone. "If anything, I'd take it as a compliment." She started kissing her way down his body — his jaw, his neck, his chest, and his abs, oh his wondrous, wondrous abdominals — before getting back to her target. "I'll let you in on a secret," she whispered. "Most girls love it when you come fast from blowies. It gives our jaws a break and tells us we did a bloody good job too."

"Fucking minx," he spoke under his breath.

"You love it," she taunted back, right before she slipped her lips over his cock confidently, relishing every last second of his resulting deep, guttural groan. Blowjobs she had always known how to do, and frankly, do well. Back when she hadn't liked sex, but still had a boyfriend, they had become her secret weapon for sexual sabotage. It had been amazing how easily satisfied Amos was, and there was nothing quite like a good blowie to distract him from trying to go all the way with Lily on any given night. But she didn't just want to distract James today — she wanted to fucking blow his mind.

Pushing her hair over her shoulders, Lily got into a more comfortable position, bringing her right hand to the base of his cock to help cover more ground as her mouth focused on his sensitive tip, working them both congruently. She smiled as he dipped his head back cursing, only to bring it right back up, as if chastising himself for missing even a single second of her performance. Lily locked eyes with him as she drew her lips back, only to twirl her tongue around his ridge, eliciting a shiver from him. She liked this, she liked this a whole fucking lot. For once, it felt like she was the hunter, and he was the eager prey, just waiting to be totally and irrevocably annihilated.

"Lils—" he moaned, his left hand reaching for her. She was sure he was going to tangle his fingers through her hair, perhaps steer her mouth deeper, making her choke on the substantial length of him, but he surprised her by grabbing the hand she had resting on his abs instead, interlocking their fingers and clutching her so tightly she thought her fingers might snap clean off. She could see her scrunchie on him once more, covering up where she knew his hideous tattoo was.

She didn't want to contemplate the symbolism of this. She just wanted to bob her head down faster, suck him for all he was worth as far as she could go without irritating her gag reflex, while her hand pumped away firmly.

"Baby, I'm about to come—" he ground out, clenching his jaw so hard it almost looked painful. Her eyes drank him in, absolutely loving seeing him like this, seeing him utterly weak for her, but she only pushed him in deeper, hoping her intention was clear as day: Come in my throat.

James twitched as he groaned, brow scrunching and jaw opening as he watched her, unable to help himself even as he came, spilling exactly where she'd wanted him to. It was such a powerful feeling, witnessing someone so usually calm and collected absolutely lose it under just a few minutes of her mouth's attention. Lily made a wet sucking sound as she released his cock and made sure he saw her throat bob up and down as she swallowed him before licking her lips.

He looked about ready to put a crown on her head.

"Prongs!" an all too familiar voice outside their bed curtains called, breaking them both out of their daze. "We're going down to breakfast, you done getting head yet?"

Lily clapped a hand over her mouth so he wouldn't hear her giggle, making James smile, just looking at her. "One second," he called back. He nodded his chin at her, lowering his voice in both volume and timbre. "You ready to go?"

Lily shook her head in total disbelief, motioning to her tits before whispering, "Um no, we're still very much naked, but also… you go." He tilted his head adorably confused, and she wanted to smack the look clean off his face. He had no right, no right. "Go with you friends, I already kept you from them last night." She couldn't look him in the eye with the last part, knowing what she was about to do — whose office she was about to walk straight to and whose secrets she would divulge.

"You sure?" He looked so sad.

Lily gave him a fake smile. "Yeah." She shooed him with her hands. "Go with your friends. I need more beauty sleep anyway."

He gave her one more critical look — he'd told her from the beginning she was a terrible liar. "I can stay?" he offered.

She shimmied up to him and gave him a peck. "Go."

With a sigh, he rolled behind his curtains, and out of sight.

Next Chapter: The Betrayal