Heyo! Did I mention, I GOT MY FIRST FAN ART for this story?! pottinglilies made a goooorgeous drawing of James and Lily's first kiss in the hallway 3 It's linked in my top, pinned post on tumblr! So. Frigging. Good. And then if you want to cry about how bad my drawing skills are, I did a stick figure to try to illustrate the sex position Jily was doing in the boutique on their date in chapter 21 (in case anyone is still confused)!

Also! I feel like some people think Lily let James off the hook too easily for reading her mind this whole time... but, let's remember that he miiiiight sorta kinda know what he was doing. She just got 4 amazing orgasms (In the air! In the water! On a boat!), just had the best date of her life while being told over and over again that she was loved (which she doesn't remember anyone else ever saying to her before), she already knew he was fucked up and has been coming to terms with it for weeks, AND, he just told her the worst moment of his life KNOWING she's a super kind, empathetic person. And now he's dropping another bomb on her right away to carry on the conversation. I'm not saying anything he just said isn't true, but he's not an evil mastermind for nothing O:) (And yeah. She's gone, gone for him)

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Art work by the super talented blvnk-art (tumblr) aka potterbyblvnk (insta)

Song: How Villains Are Made

The Point

Lily's stomach churned uneasily, completely thrown for a loop by what James had just said. Dumbledore? What does he have to do with anything? "What? What about him?" Lily went through the possibilities of things he might have done that she wouldn't have liked, but all she could come up with was his failure to intervene with Moody's brutal interrogation of her or his cavalier attitude towards Remus' mission with the werewolves that had nearly ended in tragedy. Sure, she knew that she no longer trusted her headmaster one thousand percent as she once had, but she also knew he was a man of honor and principle, hellbent on restoring peace and justice to the Magical world. She knew that even if his methods were sometimes extreme, he always kept the greater good in mind.

James pulled both her hands toward him and threaded their fingers together, rocking back and forth from his heels to the balls of his feet, clearly agitated. It only grew the pit in Lily's stomach. "Uh…" he tried.

"What?"

James looked into her eyes, strengthening his resolve. "It's about why he assigned you on your mission. Assigned you to me."

Lily's eyebrows danced, awkwardly exhaling a shallow huff. Sure, James already knew that Lily had only started their relationship in order to learn all his secrets, but she doubted that talking about it would ever get any easier. It was weird; the whole thing made her feel like she would never appear as devoted to him as he was to her, even if she felt as though they were now on the same page. She was ashamed of her past transactions with him. "I mean, I already know why, James," she replied stiffly. "He wanted me to use you to gather intel on Voldem—"

"That wasn't the real reason," he cut her off.

"What?" Lily asked disbelievingly. "What could possibly be another one?" Was it her, or had James' face just taken an unnaturally pale hue? "Tell me. James, just tell me—"

"There's a prophecy." Lily could hear her heartbeat as it thudded loudly in her ears. Huh? "Dumbledore was thinking about it when he called me to his office at the beginning of the year to go over my duties as Head Boy. I'm pretty sure the only reason he chose me for the position in the first place was to end up with you—"

"No," Lily interrupted him, shaking her head. "That doesn't make any sense. He would have told me if there was— I'm sure you got the position because you're brilliant—"

James gave her a smirk, but it bordered on pitying. "I appreciate that, love, but we both know my ideals don't exactly align with his. I was wondering what his angle was this summer when he sent me the badge," his eyes trailed down her face as his voice lowered in timbre, "and then I got my answer as he was telling me I'd be partnered with you. I saw it all in his head."

"Okay," Lily said, shrugging her shoulders, all her synapses firing away nervously, trying to connect the dots, "that makes sense. I mean, he knew he was going to assign me to you, so he was making my job easier, right? By making you Head Boy, he was giving me more opportunities to talk to—"

"No, baby," he said sadly as his thumbs traced over her knuckles soothingly. "Your job was never to get information out of me. It was to fall in love with me."

Lily let out a hysterical giggle, shaking her head. "No." She kept looking him dead in the eye, waiting for him to tell her he was joking. "No, th— that doesn't make any sense. What good—?" She broke off, looking out over the water, watching as a pelican dove straight down, breaching the waves. It resurfaced a couple seconds later with a flapping fish between its beak. "Why?"

"I didn't want to be the one to tell you this but… he heard a prophecy that only the son of a Muggle-born witch born in such and such season and a Death Eater born under such and such a moon — I don't remember specifics, it was all rather flowery and poetic — will bring forth the end of an era of evil. He thinks it meant us. The prophecy was about us, Lils. Dumbledore suspected I was already mostly there for you, completely gone, and he figured he'd force the rest." Lily watched his Adam's apple bob up and down, the scar she'd cut in him before their first time still faintly pink. "Force you."

Lily felt like she was choking on air, unable to get any oxygen to her brain as she completely spun out in panic. What the actual fuck? She ripped her hands away from his so she could yank them through her hair instead, his words burning in her mind. Prophecy. Son. Your job. Son. Force you. Son. Dumbledore had wanted her to get knocked up and have James' baby? "What the fuck?!" Lily muttered, twirling around and gripping the metal railing of the yacht tightly, feeling sick to her stomach. She was pretty sure she was going to hurl.

She was hurling.

James rushed to her side in an instant, gathering her hair into a makeshift ponytail behind her neck. "It's okay, you're okay," he chanted. "Get it all out."

"Did you…" Lily's throat burned as tears gathered in her eyes. "You haven't actually been trying to…" She couldn't help but recall every single terrible instance where she'd been so stupidly careless with their contraception, relying on morning after potions instead of taking her body's safety more seriously. What had she been thinking? Lily was pretty sure her stomach must have been thoroughly evacuated, because otherwise she definitely would have continued emptying it when she remembered all the sketchy ways Dumbledore had tried to get her to sleep with James: assigning her to spy on him, encouraging her to date him, being oddly happy when she slept with him and promptly quit her mission, how he cut McGonagall off when she was trying to remind me to have safe sex… Lily had a full body shudder, trying to retch up contents that were no longer there. He fed me straight to the wolves.

James wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her to his side. "Been trying to what, Lils?" he asked genuinely.

Lily grimaced as she spat out the remnants of bile from her mouth. "Been trying to— to—" She couldn't even say it.

"Get you pregnant?" James yelled out, shocked. "No! Lily, I would never do that to you. I would never trap you in a—" He cut himself off and pinched the bridge of his nose, looking only half as upset at Lily felt, but upset nonetheless. "No. I promise you I haven't been trying to get you pregnant," he said more calmly. "I've only ever wanted you to love me back as much as I love you. That's it. Dumbledore was the one who wanted you to bear me an heir, not me. Well, not yet."

She believed him, she fucking believed him, which meant… Dumbledore betrayed me. Dumbledore had lied to her face, given her a fake mission, and watched as she worked on delivering him the actual one — even if it meant she was practically reduced to being a breeding mare. A tear streaked down her cheek, dripping into the ocean below silently. She thought back to how dumb, so very dumb and gullible, she'd been at the start of the year when she'd hoped that Dumbledore had asked her to join the Order because she was 'exceptionally gifted.' I'm such an idiot.

She felt violated, so fucking violated, to have been used as a foolish pawn by the sick bastard. Who the fuck does he think he is? She knew her headmaster was a living hero in the eyes of the world, but no one, no one, got to dictate what happened to her body like this besides her. No one should be able to force her to have a baby, or try to trick her into getting knocked up — even if the baby turned out to be a motherfucking messiah. Dumbledore knew she would never stand a chance against James, and he'd thrown them together anyway. It wasn't right.

"Come here," James whispered, turning her to him and engulfing her in a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Lils. I didn't want to hurt you, but I knew you had to learn the truth eventually."

Her mind was numb. How had this happened? What was happening? All she knew was that there were two sides to this war. One side had sold her body and soul to the other and hadn't even bothered to do her the curtesy of telling her about it. The other side was currently holding her to his chest and stroking her hair dotingly, bestowing sweet, sweet kisses to her forehead, murmuring how sorry he was.

None of this made sense any longer.

"Did you tell him?" Lily croaked.

James drew back slightly, looking at her confused. "Tell who?"

"Voldemort. Did you tell Voldemort about the prophecy?" Fear gripped fiercely at her throat, threatening to close her windpipe.

"No." He shook his head at her. "Why would I do that? I'm not stupid; I knew he would only try to kill our son if he heard it. Probably try to take out you and me as well just to make a clean job of it," he added as though their own violent attempted murders were just an afterthought.

Our son. Our son. Lily's heart clenched at the phrase. Suddenly she was taken back to their very first date, holding hands over a Butterbeer soaked oak table, talking to James about his aspirations to be a dad. It felt like a lifetime ago. She'd been so innocent then, so naive, not yet exposed to the full extent of his twistedness and perversion… or her own. They talked so whimsically about becoming parents one day, hypothetically (or she supposed at least she had been, he'd already known) — but to hear it like this? As in it was prophesied that they would have a baby — together? What the hell was she supposed to do with this information?

"I thought you said you weren't trying to have a baby—"

"Not now, Lily. Not yet." He bent down, trying to get to her eye level so he could show her his sincerity. "When we're ready. When you want one."

Holy fuck, this was a lot to handle.

His eyes flitted between hers worriedly. "I told you I'd never hurt you, and I meant it. But I also meant I would never let anyone else hurt you either. You know that right? You're safe with me."

Lily lightly pushed his hands off of her, keeping them raised on both sides of her face, as her own trembled. "I just—" she took in a deep breath, "—I just need a minute." He gave her some space, backing off, as her thoughts ran wild. Wait a second. Her eyes snapped to his. "If this prophecy exists, Voldemort will find out eventually, we'll never be safe—"

"No. I won't let that happen."

"You can't—"

"Lily," he cut her off gravely. "I won't let it." How was he so fucking confident? "I've always been loyal to you, love. Even before I ever pledged myself to the Dark Lord, I was loyal to you."

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, Merlin's bloody bulging bollocks. Wasn't this exactly what she'd been hinting at the night before over dinner? She'd been asking him to choose between her and Voldemort, practically screaming at him 'Pick me, choose me, love me,' and he was now telling her he was. James saw their future together as more important than Voldemort's reign, and if it came down to it, if he was forced to draw a line in the sand, he'd be right there by her side. It all seemed almost too good to be true. "So, that's it? You just don't believe in him anymore?"

James let out a humorless snort. "I still believe in what he preaches, Lils. I still want to live in the world where we can truly be free and don't have to hide our magic, don't have to look over our shoulders constantly, living by laws that are meant to coddle them but stifle us — but I've always told you I would do some things differently than him." His snarky little wink and head tilt told her he meant about Muggle-borns, about her.

'I've never killed another wizard before.' His past words rang in her ears. Had he been subtly trying to hint at his allegiances this whole time? Had Lily really missed all the clues? 'I'm not crazy, love. I just see that the winds of our world are shifting, and I know where the best place to land is.' When he'd said that, Lily had thought he was selfishly allying himself with an evil that was going to wipe out the world; but even then, had he meant he was keeping his loved ones close, but his enemies closer? (And if there was ever a phrase that resonated with Lily — it would be that one.) 'I'm doing this for us. I decide who we go after. And we'll never go after you,' he'd told her. Had he really meant it, even way back then? Had he always been thinking about her?

James continued, "And yeah, it's not that hard to secretly retract your fealty if your Lord is fated to try to kill your family. I was always planning on overthrowing him one day, but I guess I'll just have to wait for our kid to do it," he admitted calmly. At least, he would have seemed calm to the average observer, but Lily recognized that look in his eye now. "The Dark Lord was always supposed to be a stepping stone. It's hard to get your feet wet, but following him has shown me the ropes. He's shown me how it's done. I do most of his recruiting anyway, so a lot of the younger Death Eaters are already more loyal to me than him. It was only a matter of time before the guy started seeing me as a threat, so I've been trying to lie low, not stir up any waves. "

So here it was: his master plan. Bide his time until his blood could take over, and then presumably rule the way they wanted to.

"Does Sirius know?"

James took a step closer and hooked a lock of her hair behind her ear, seemingly getting lost in her eyes for a beat. "No. I've haven't told a soul. It wouldn't be fair to put that burden on someone else, especially if they have to keep it from the Dark Lord. I trust my skills; I know he won't see it from me."

Is any of this even real? Could it actually all happen like this? His aura was intoxicating. "So you're saying… that if we ever have a son… and if the time comes?" Lily was equal parts terrified and thrilled waiting for his answer.

He smiled, holding her chin. "Lils… I will never let anything bad happen to the people I love."

How had Lily gone from someone who so desperately lacked love, unsure herself that she even deserved it, to feeling like the most cherished girl in the world? What James was giving her right now, this reassurance he was so easily granting her, was everything she'd secretly craved. Unconditional and dependable fidelity. It meant everything. "Our son is apparently the only person who will ever be more powerful than the Dark Lord. Dumbledore thinks he'll take the Dark Lord down for the Order, overconfident fool that he is, but I'd never let him use our child like that. Our son won't grow up to be some undercover weapon in a war, Lils. The concept is barbaric. We'll raise him. He'll be safe, he'll be loved. He'll have free will."

Lily agreed. She wasn't even a mother yet, but still, she found her heart clenching for their future child, needing to protect him from evil. Protect him from old men who wished to harness his potential and use him as a soldier.

That dangerous glow in James' eyes continued to smolder. Lily wondered if it had sparked in her own and was being reflected back at him. "So if the time comes, and he so wishes, I will help him claim his rightful throne. Until then, I think staying in the Dark Lord's inner circle is still the most beneficial course of action, don't you agree?"

Lily swallowed. Who even fucking knows anymore.

Lily walked through the Fat Lady into Gryffindor, her brain feeling like it had been fed through a meat grinder. Worse than that, she didn't even feel comfortable in her own skin, disgusted by how Dumbledore had wanted to use her body to grow him a goddamn wizard-killer. It was abhorrent.

Right after James' bombshell that practically everything she'd ever thought she knew had been a lie, she'd insisted that he bring her home. He'd begrudgingly complied after she assured him she would be okay — that they were okay — and that she just had about a million things to ponder and dissect. And scream. She had to bloody scream into her pillow until her cords snapped.

She wasn't a complete moron — she knew James wasn't a 'good' guy, she knew that; but, he was shaping up more and more like the hero of her story. He could have forced her hand at any point, fulfilled the prophecy already like her side had wanted him to do — but he hadn't. (Lily felt even more revolted just thinking about how Dumbledore would have tried to sway her into not terminating any pregnancy that resulted from her true assignment of falling in love with James. Who knew what sort of tactics he would have employed without ever informing Lily of his ulterior motives?) Lily briefly considered that James not knocking her up wasn't the grand gesture of loyalty she was making it out to be, but merely him ensuring that no messiah was ever born who could dethrone Voldemort — but that didn't make sense either. If James was truly devoted to his master, he would have avoided Lily like the plague so there would never even have been a possibility that they'd conceive a son. Hell, if he'd have been as devout as Bellatrix, he would have killed her as soon as he'd seen the prophecy in Dumbledore's head, thus ensuring that Voldemort would rule forever. But he had done neither of those things. Just like he'd told her, James had used the prophecy to his advantage, basically taking it as his sign that he should hit on her, but he'd still given her the choice to accept him.

The Order hadn't given her that choice. They'd tried to dictate her entire future for her.

Meanwhile, James had changed the whole course of his own future — for me. For us. No wonder James had never seemed so reverent towards his master. For a while now, his plan had been to keep an eye on Voldemort until the day that his own flesh and blood would take his place — as was apparently his destiny.

James' loyalty really had always been to her — to their future family.

What the fuck.

The fact that all these revelations were so highly emotional was worsening just how badly they were draining her.

One of the only things that wasn't depleting her, but instead growing a warm, bubbly feeling around her heart, was the knowledge that one day, James and her love would make something truly magical. As James had said, when the time was right, they'd have a family (a real family, just like Lily had always wanted and never really had), and of course their baby would be perfect and powerful in every way — how could he not be? How could her child with James Potter be anything less?

"Where were you?"

Lily jumped half a meter in the air, clutching at her chest as she spun towards Remus' voice, the tiny little smile falling from her lips. "Holy fucking shit, Remy, you totally—"

"No, seriously, where were you?"

Lily finally got a good look at his face and realized just how pissed off and distressed her best friend was. "I just got back—"

"You were still on the date? All this time?" Why did it sound like he didn't even believe her?

And why did she feel so defensive? "Yeah. He took me to Cannes." She shouldn't be grinning right now, she was trying to hold it back so hard, but a persistent, silly little part of herself wanted to swoon and tell the world, or just her bestie, about what an amazing date she'd just been taken on. Because mind-blowing revelations aside, it really had been the best date — hell, best day — of her life.

Remus didn't look even remotely impressed. "Do you have any idea how worried I was about you when you didn't come home last night? When my owl never came back with any response about how you were doing?" Oh no, that poor bird is probably still on its way to France… "I thought he bloody kidnapped you!"

Oh shit. She hadn't given a single thought to how all this would look to Remus, or considered that he might be staying up, waiting for her. "I'm sorry, I didn't think—"

"You're right, Lily. You're not thinking right now."

Lily's neck snapped back with the brunt of his words. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Lil. I'm worried about you." He finally got to his feet, looking utterly knackered.

"You don't have to worry about me," Lily said in an awkward huff, hugging her own elbows. "I'm an adult, I know what I'm doing—"

"Do you though?" Remus asked, narrowing his eyes. "Lily, this is the same guy who carried you to his room and tied you to his bed when you were trying to move on from him! Excuse me if I'm missing what the hell is romantic about falling—"

That's not what happened. Well, it is, but it wasn't like that. It was hot. "That's not—"

Remus barreled on, "—for a goddamn lunatic! Have you completely lost your mind?"

Lily had no idea why the hell she felt like she was on trial, but she sure as shit did not like it. Remus was supposed to be the one person who always had her back, like she'd always had his. He wasn't supposed to be giving her the third degree. She shook her head. "Why are you asking me this?" she asked defeatedly. He didn't respond. "I'm tired, I need to go take a nap—"

"Lily, seriously? You missed all your morning classes already; it's Wednesday." Lily snorted, not even knowing why she found that so funny. Perhaps all today's stress really was making her go insane. Remus' lecture only got louder. "What are you doing with him, Lil?" His voice was harsh, but his eyes were still gentle, as if pleading for any sort of logical explanation. "He used you to kill all those Aurors, then he corners you in class, and now you're coming back from a date with him giggling like you're a little school girl. What the hell is going on?"

Lily couldn't do this right now, and even more than that, she didn't need to. "Remus, I never ask you to explain yourself, please don't—"

"Yeah, because I never do anything this ridiculous!" He closed his eyes like he regretted his outburst as soon as he'd yelled it, but it had slapped Lily all the same. He'd always been a better person than her, but he'd never before admitted he thought so as well. Remus tried again, more calmly, "Look, I know things have gotten a little weird between us lately, and I don't know why, but I obviously care about you and I don't understand why you're doing this."

It's gotten weird because of me. Because of what I've been doing in front of Sirius. Lily realized she'd been pushing away her best friend for a while now — and for the most part, he'd let her. She opened and closed her mouth lamely, no words forming despite her best efforts.

Remus carried on. "I know you liked him, but… You can't possibly still. Right? You're smarter than that."

Lily's jaw snapped shut. That was a hell of a lot more judgment than she'd ever received from him before.

Remus was nearly groveling for her to see reason. "Come on, Lil. He's a Death Eater. I know you had to quit your mission because sleeping with him and not catching feelings was getting too hard, but just stop. You don't have to do this. Don't be this person."

Lily licked her lips, her stare defiant. What is he trying to say? "What person?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "Lil—"

"No, tell me, Remus," Lily goaded hotly. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

"I wasn't saying—"

"What, that I'm an idiot?"

"I didn't—"

"A fool?" Remus looked more and more flustered, but Lily could tell she was hitting the nail on the head. "A gullible, lovesick little girl? A dumb bitch?"

Remus' lack of response was deafening.

"You don't know what you're talking about, okay?" Being with James made her the most euphoric she'd ever been — didn't that count for something? Didn't her happiness matter to anyone? "Look, I just had a long morning, so I'm going to—" She made towards the girls' staircase, desperately needing some alone time.

"Dumbledore wants to see you," he deadpanned, fully realizing that this conversation had flown off the rails. He pulled a piece of parchment from his pocket and held it out for her.

She sneered at the mention of their headmaster's name. Of all the people in the world she wanted to see right now, he was most definitely at the bottom of that list.

Remus eyed her bewilderedly, not understanding why she wasn't taking the note.

She stomped forth and snatched it, hating that he was the one who got to walk away from her first. As soon as the Fat Lady clicked closed behind Remus, she unfurled the parchment, still warm from being in his pocket. 'Miss Evans, please do come see me in my office when you return to the castle. If you happen to see any Banshee Bark along the way, I'd be much obliged.'

Shit. He knew she'd left school grounds, and probably with who. Was that what he wanted to see her for?

Realizing she had no other choice, she turned on her heel, and set out for his office.

"Albus! He's too dangerous! Someone needs to— something must be done, she cannot be left—"

"Minerva, please, we have company."

Lily's knuckles froze right before she knocked, listening to the muffled sounds of yelling coming from the other side of Dumbledore's office door. She knew who was in there — she just didn't know who they were talking about. That's a lie: it's you. Apparently people had been talking about her behind her back for a while now.

Realizing announcing herself was unnecessary, Lily cranked the doorknob and stepped inside. "You wanted to see me, Professor?" she said as calmly and detachedly as she could manage, just wanting to get this over with.

McGonagall stepped closer to her, but Lily stubbornly refused to meet her gaze, continuing to look over her shoulder like a petulant teenager, which she guessed she sort of was right now. Lily didn't feel like one though. Either she was a child who needed protection, or an adult who was mature enough to be deployed into battle and worthy of being treated as such. They couldn't have it both ways. If the Order didn't respect her enough to tell her the truth of her mission, she didn't owe them any respect in return.

"Miss Evans, you will receive a month's worth of detention for leaving campus, on a school night, and missing three classes, all without telling anyone where you were heading," McGonagall declared briskly.

Lily finally met her gaze. "No."

McGonagall had dealt with a lot of tomfoolery in her life — from Sirius' pathetic attempts at flirtation in 4th year, to James' foolhardy bid to out-magic her in her own subject in 5th, and everything in between. But Lily had never seen the teacher look as shaken as she did with her own small rebuttal. "Excuse me?"

"I said no, I do not have detention," Lily repeated, looking over at her headmaster past McGonagall's shoulder once more. "Professor Dumbledore assigned me to get information out of Potter, so that's what I was doing yesterday. Right Professor?"

Her Head of House straightened her back, looking like she hated every single second of having her authority being overridden like this, but held her tongue. If Lily had still been looking at her face, she might have seen the small flicker of hurt there too.

Dumbledore remained as impassive and unbothered as ever. "This is true, this is true." Lily squared her jaw, trying to keep all the emotions boiling inside of her in check. Fucking lying bastard. "Miss Evans and I have some things to discuss. Would you please excuse us, Minerva?"

"Albus, I really—"

"We will continue our conversation later, most definitely."

McGonagall straightened her hat, took a steadying breath, and made her exit. Lily felt as though she could finally breathe again herself when the door shut behind her. Her favorite teacher had at the very least meant something to Lily throughout her whole time at Hogwarts. They'd had a bit of a personal connection, and Lily had felt like there was some mutual kinship between them from the time they'd spent in Diagon Alley when she was 11, gathering her first magical supplies. Dumbledore and she had no such past, no such connection.

And now, she kind of wanted to hex him into oblivion.

"Miss Evans, please sit," Dumbledore offered when they were alone, pointing to the armchair in front of his desk.

Lily noticed that even though she sat down, he remained standing, making her look up to him and establishing their clear power dynamic.

"I wanted to check in with you. I realize that the last time we spoke was under less than ideal circumstances—" Oh, you mean when you just stood there while someone jammed a truth potion down my throat? "—but I wanted to assure you that you still have the Order's full trust." That was sort of news to Lily. The disbelief must have shown on her face. "Auror Moody was under much duress after that night—" Really? That's the excuse you're going with? "—and did not mean to ask you questions so… forcefully. But as your answers demonstrated, you had absolutely nothing to hide."

Lily wouldn't snort, she would not. It sure as hell would have been nice to have just been believed without the coercion. "Of course, Professor, I understand," she answered instead, starting to get curious as to where he was taking this conversation.

"Good. So it is my understanding that Mr Potter took you out on a date last night," Dumbledore said diplomatically, peering at her over his glasses. "Is there any new information you wish to report?"

This was it. He was inadvertently asking her to prove that her loyalties still lay with the Order, with him, even after everything that had happened. Lily realized that she had to play her next move intelligently. Sure, she no longer knew what the fuck she was doing, but letting Dumbledore know that, master manipulator that he was, was not a good idea. She had to buy herself some time without giving up her cards. "He is still very much into me, Professor. I think he even sees us continuing our relationship after graduation."

It felt like a match of wills at this point with how neither of them were trying to break their eye contact. "And is that something you think you can pursue, given the fact that you now love him?" he asked faux-innocently, the bastard.

Oh right. With everything that had happened since, Lily had nearly forgotten that she'd been forced to admit her love in the hospital wing. "Yes, sir. I know that I can compartmentalize; I am in control," she said, "which is all that really matters to me." She studied his reaction, wishing he would give her a sign, any little tic, that betrayed the fact that he knew what he was doing to her was wrong, and that he had some remorse about the situation, a bad feeling in his gut — anything — but his face remained absolutely neutral.

"That is great news."

"Voldemort can read minds," she spat out. It seemed like a fairly harmless bargaining chip, proving that she was still working for the Order and not considering jumping ships. It was a fact that could be used to weaken Voldemort's power but wouldn't come back to hurt James — after all, what 17 year old would ever be suspected of mastering a magic so mystical that it had been forgotten for centuries?

Dumbledore's eyes narrowed as he stroked his long beard. "Ah, Legilimency. Interesting." Add it to the list of things this guy should have warned me about… but didn't. "It is unsurprising that Tom is employing all magic that has nefarious roots."

"Do you know how to perform it, Professor?" Lily asked, figuring fuck it.

He held her gaze for a beat too long. "No, Miss Evans. I have not yet cracked the skill. Perhaps in time."

"Perhaps."

Dumbledore broke first, offering her a lemon drop from off his desk. Lily eyed the treat suspiciously, mind still running rampant with how much he wanted her to be carrying James' child. What if he'd laced them? What if these candies were specifically charmed to make contraceptive potions ineffective? Lily declined.

"Well, I look forward to seeing you at the Order meeting Sunday, Miss Evans."

Lily got to her feet, ready to leave, but stopped to watch Fawkes fly in through Dumbledore's open window and land lightly on the back of the armchair she'd just vacated. "Hi, buddy—" she started, reaching to stroke his breast just as she had done the first time she'd met him in this very office. Her affectionate greeting was cut short however when his beak angrily broke the skin of her hand with one violent peck, causing Lily to shriek.

"Fawkes!" Dumbledore commanded sharply, making the phoenix stop his attack and flutter over to his master's shoulder obediently.

Lily watched the blood run down her fingers dumbstruck, wondering what the hell had just happened, at a complete loss for words. The bird had been so sweet the last time she'd met him — what the fuck?

Dumbledore finally looked ruffled, glaring at her strangely as though she had just defied the laws of physics. "Are you all right, Miss Evans?" She didn't miss how his voice shook slightly as he asked.

Lily brought the cut to her lips and sucked the blood away, keeping it in her mouth for pressure. "Of course, Professor," she mumbled. "I probably just scared him. I can heal this myself."

He merely nodded and watched her leave the room.

Next Chapter: The Relationship

Aaaaaah! We finally found out what Dumbly was taking to the portraits about back in Chapter 1! Was it what you expected?! :D You have no idea the mental gymnastics it took to plot out this story, lol. Cheers!