August First, 1996

Albus Dumbledore. How I hate that man. Name? My name? Hi, my name's Harry Potter, but you'd get that if you actually read the Property of. Strange. Since it's August First, I'm now sixteen. Dumbledore, that man he is, sent me this. He says that I must write in this often. If I don't, I'll get in trouble. He thinks I need to start expressing my feelings.

How am I feeling? Like crap. I haven't been given more than a piece of bread in two days. They let me out, sure, but what would I do? Where would I go? I just get out of the house to get out of the house. I stay away from them; they stay away from me- or else.

But every time I go out, I get followed. Usually, it's Tonks. She'll make herself look younger than she really is; that way she can 'blend it'. I don't think purple, pink, or blue hair is 'blending in'.

Great invention. This can't be opened by muggles. So, with that said, I go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm going into my sixth year and all. God, what do you put in a Journal?

Well, how about: Voldemort's after me? He's been since I separated his body from spirit on October 31st, 1981. That night he killed my parents. My dad, James Potter, was killed first. He told my mother, Lily Evans, to take me and run; that he could hold him off: but he couldn't. He was killed with two quick words.

Mum ran into the nursery to get me. No sooner than she got there did Voldemort come.

"Not Harry, Not Harry, please not Harry!" "Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside, now…" "Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead-" "Not Harry! Please… have mercy… have mercy…" Then shrill laughter. Mum screams. All I know.

I hear that every time I go near a Dementor. I've had enough encounters to last me a lifetime. What? Like, three maybe four times in third year and then again last summer. I almost got expelled because I used the only charm that can propel away a Dementor. What idiotic Ministry workers we have, no?

More about Voldemort, you say? In first year, my best friends Ron and Hermione helped me save the Sorcerers Stone from Voldemort. First we had to get through a three-headed dog, devil's snare, and flying keys to get to a giant chessboard where Ron sacrificed himself. Then Hermione and I went passed a sleeping troll where we then came upon a potions riddle. She went back with Ron, flew up the trap door, and sent a letter to Dumbledore. I went on alone.

Quirrel was standing there, looking in the Mirror of Erised. He said stuff like, I see myself with the stone, but how do I get it. Voldie then told him to use me to get the stone. My mirror self dropped it into my pocket 'cuz I wanted to find it, not use it. Voldie then proceeded to tell Quirrel to get the stone from me and that I was a liar. He couldn't touch me. My mum died to save me. The rest is History- literally.

Second year? Oh, yeah: Chamber of Secrets. People thought that I opened it up, though I really didn't. I figured the rest of it out with the help of Hermione, even though she was petrified. In her hand was a piece of paper explaining about Basilisks and how they don't kill unless looked directly in the eye. She then, on the back, wrote how he was getting around through school: PIPES.

Someone died when the chamber was opened last time. I said, what if she never left. Ron looked at me like I was crazy until I said Moaning Myrtle. We, as in Ron and I, grabbed the DADA Professor and made out way to her bathroom. A sink had snake ruins on it: how convenient. I opened it. Oh, now'd be a good time to say that I can talk to snakes. Down there, a wall collapsed when Lockhart tried to use Ron's busted wand and it backfired. I went deeper into the chamber to rescues Ginny.

Once there, Ginny was on the ground, almost dead. Tom Riddle, A.K.A Lord Voldemort, called out his snake to kill me. Then Dumbledore's Phoenix Fawkes came down with the sorting hat. I put it on and out came Godric Gryffindors sword. I stuck in through the Basilisk's mouth and killed it, but a fang got caught in my arm. It started to spread. I had killed the Basilisk, yet it was killing me.

Then Fawkes landed next to me and his tears healed my arm. Good bird, he is. Tom was mad, to say the least. I then took the fang and stuck it in the diary. The memory of Tom was dead! Hurray! Sarcasm, people, pure sarcasm.

Uncle Vernon came in. He says, what are you writing in, Freak?
Me: A Journal my Headmaster sent me.
Him: Read it to me.
Me: (shakes head): I can't. Him: Why not, Freak?
Me: Headmasters orders.
Him: Then let me read it.
Me: Can't do that.
Him: Why not, Freak.
Me: Well, you can try. I don't know what you'd get.
Him: (looks dumbfounded)
Me: It means, muggles can't read it.
Him: What you call me, Freak?
Me: (grins) Muggle.
Him: And what the hell's a Muggle?
Me: (grin gets bigger): Non-magic folk. Him: Don't speak to me like that, Freak.
Me: (Blank expression. Scribbles: be right back)

Very shaky writing with water droplets: Oh god, oh god, oh god. Scratch the part about 'I hate Dumbledore'. He's the worst person ever. Worse than Voldemort. Oh god. Oh god! I haven't been… wait! Oh, who cares who can read this. Oh god! I haven't been beaten since- I don't know when last!

Oh god. (Gingerly touches side) I'm dead. Well, I'll be soon enough. He kicked me, he punched me, oh god. What do I do? Oh god! I can't go out now, Tonks and such will see me! Oh god. Oh god! It hurts! Why me? Why does this always happen to me?! Oh god. I can keep writing to the order, but someone will come up and check on me because I won't go outside anymore. Oh god! What do I do?

((End of Entry One))

((Second Journal Entry))

August Fourth

I just finished sending the letter to the Order, not like they'd care one way or the other about me- they just want me for one thing: to get rid of Voldemort!

Well, what about what I want? He killed my parents. He killed Cedric. He killed my god-father! Why can't I just live a normal life? With a mum, dad, no Voldemort and no worries? God, I killed Cedric, just like I killed Sirius! It's not fair! I just should have taken the cup… I should have known that it was a trick with Fleur and Krum dropping out like that. Snape: I can't forget that we forgot about him. My god, how dumb am I? It's just like Hermione says: I have a thing for saving people. How do I stop when I'm worried about the people I love?

Going on from last time, third year. For once, I had a break from Voldemort. Well, just the physical form of him, at least. Once we were done visiting with Hagrid one day, Ron, Hermione and I found Scabbers (Ron's pet rat), and were going back to the castle when he ran out of Ron's grasp. Ron chased him when a great grim-like dog dragged him toward the Whomping Willow. Of course, we followed. Once in, we found Ron on a bed.

But you'd never guess who the big dog was. It was my god-father, Sirius. Well, not that I knew that at the time. He was, in fact, a 'murder who was out to kill me'. Then came Remus Lupin, that years DADA teacher. Hermione told me not to believe him because he was helping Sirius into the castle. Then she said that he was a ware-wolf. Sure enough, he was, but anyways. Then Snape came. He disarmed Lupin and me. Then Hermione disarmed him and he fell unconscious.

Sirius and Remus told the story of Wormtail. Then they transformed him into his human state. What a horrific state. Just ask Ron and Hermione what he all did- too much to put down. Then we left with Snape. But, it was the full moon and Remus hadn't taken the Wolfsbane Potion, so he couldn't control his mind. Sirius went after him and Hermione and I went after Sirius. I soon found him by the lake. Surrounded by Dementors. I went to help ward them off, but didn't do any good because actually, I have no clue. Hermione took to the Dementors like that 'cuz she wasn't used to them and couldn't think up of a happy enough memory. Then, I thought I saw my dad come and set a Patronous on them, but later (when Hermione and I went back in time) I found out that I really did that.

I can't put it all down, 'cuz lots of it's boring.

Fourth year? Tri-Wizard Tournament. Well, more like Quad-Wizard Tournament. There were supposed to be one from each school, but somehow someone slipped my name in (yet again, go to someone else for further details). I was only in the fourth year and everybody else was in the Sixth year and above. Not quite fair.

I had to go through three tasks and the last one was a maze with many obstacles. At the end, it was only Cedric and I. We both took the cup, which happened to be a portkey. Wormtail killed Cedric. Then Voldie and I dueled. What fun. Our wands can't battle each other, so the reversed the spells. I saw everybody come out of his wand: freaky. Mum and dad said hi, Cedric told me to take his body back. I did.

Mad-Eye Moody (the years DADA teacher) took me to his office. He then proceed to tell me about his plans. Just as he was about to kill me, Dumbledore and some other teachers came in. It turned out he was Mr. Crouch's son using the Polly Juice Potion. What fun.

Fifth year I was totally kept in the dark about what was and was not happening. Then, some Dementors decided to come and attack me. I had to stay at Number Four for a while until some people of the Order came and got me. Once I got there, it was strange. I blew up at Ron and Hermione 'cuz they didn't tell me what was going on. Remus and a few others told me what was happening. Again, what fun. Nothing new.

School was sucky. Umbridge took away me being able to fly. She made me write lines with a pen that scratched the line into my hand. Started the DA (too much to put down). Went to the DoM to rescue Sirius. He ended up not being there. We (me and some people from the DA) fought the Death Eaters as well as we could. I smashed the prophecy. Voldemort wasn't happy with me for that. He tried to kill Dumbledore but wasn't able to.

Sirius' cousin killed Sirius. But it was my fault. All my fault. The only way to make it final is if I was actually holding the wand. I miss him; I miss him so bad. I killed of Remus' last link to the past. Oh God, he'll hate me.

Letter from the Order already. Be right back… I'm going to read it and all.

Ah, just the normal letter. Hey Harry. How are you? Tonks says she hasn't seen you out side lately and we were just wondering why. We all hope you're well. Remember; don't blame yourself for his death. It wasn't your fault. Please, talk to someone, Harry. Ron and Hermione are starting to get worried.

My reply: I'm fine. Leave me alone. I need to think. I'll be outside soon. I've just been very busy inside lately.

Not very convincing, but I know it will do. Now, what to do about my back eye and my limp and I'd be set. I'm pretty sure that I've got a broken rib or two and several bruised, but I doubt there's anything I'll be able to do for those. I don't even know if the Dursley's are home now. I think what Uncle Vernon did scared him away. He knows that if the Order finds out he could be in a lot of trouble. Too bad for him! I think I'll venture outside later today.

((End of Entry Two))

Harry rolled over in his sleep. Hermione, out of fright, closed the Journal. Seeing that he didn't wake, she carefully got off of the bed. She then placed Harry's Journal on the bed and proceed to the bathroom. Once she got back, she sat back down on the bed. One hand held the Journal and the other ran through his hair.

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I'd like to thank of all my reviewers. You don't know how much reviews mean to me! Bisous. Niahiem Davids.