Chapter 8: Awkward Exchanges

I swear to God, I'm going insane.

Steve has been efficiently avoiding me for the past four days. Honestly, what is the deal with men and avoiding me after one extended exchange? It's not me, that I'm sure of. I huffed and stood up from my reading spot in the library of the Avengers tower and slammed my book shut. Not that I was getting any actual reading done, anyways.

I was confused by my own feelings, but that confusion didn't lead to me avoiding Steve, in fact, it made me want to communicate with him even more, it made me want to explore what these feelings were. I didn't think I would feel anything like I felt for Edward, but the more time I spent with Steve, especially after our outing a few days ago, the feelings I have right now are a mixture of things I felt for Edward too. I need to talk to someone, and since Steve is ignoring me...

I walked to Nat's room and heard her shuffling around the room. I knocked andopened the door at her "come in." She turned to me and smiled her little half smile.

"Hey Bella, what's up?" I walked over to her bed and threw myself down onto it with a groan, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hands forcefully. "Woah, that certainly says a lot," she joked as she came over and sat beside me.

"Nat," I started quietly. "What would you say if I need...romance advice?" Her eyes brightened.

"Steve finally plucked up some balls and courage, did he?" She seemed the most giddy I had ever seen her. I blew out a breath.

"No, he's avoiding me actually. We went out a few days ago, and it was amazing. We went to the library, out for coffee and food, and when we got back I swore he was going to kiss me, but he just...didn't. He hugged me. Then, he pat me on the back and said he'd see me around, and he's been avoiding me since. And honestly, I'm confused by my own feelings for him. I mean, I haven't felt this way since," I trailed off quietly.

"Since that boy," she deduced, and I nodded, turning my head to bury it into her pillows. "Bella, has Steve told you about Peggy?" She asked. I turned to look at her and nodded slightly. "That girl really had his balls in her pocket. She was strong, and forceful, and a true gem of her time. She took no shit from no man, and he admired her. I don't think they everreally got to know each other to the point I could agree it was love, but Steve has been hung up on her for a long while. You have to remember that to him, she wasn't that long ago. He was in ice for 70 years, woke up and she had a whole life without him, and she was the first girl who really caught his attention. And with his struggle to adjust to a whole new world, it was another thing he had to learn to accept, that the girl he fancied moved on, got married, had kids... I can tell he feels something for you. But he's not exactly gifted in the art of us women. If you want him, and want to try seeing if something could happen between you two, you have to be the one leading him. He has no experience with women, and the experience he does have is from nearly a century ago. I think you should hunt him down, get him to talk to you, grab him by his perfectly pressed collar, and yank him into a kiss. Lord knows the boy needs to be kissed for the first time in forever." I listened with rapt attention, before I sighed.

"I never thought I'd feel something for anyone the way I felt for Edward," I said quietly. "He was that all consuming kind of love. He was protective, and caring, and he made me feel safe. I didn't just get butterflies with him, it always felt like I was on bargained time with him, like I was fighting to make sure it never ended. But he always decided what was best for me. He left because he decided that was best for me. He tried telling me he didn't love me, but I know that's not true. And Steve, while he's similar in certain aspects, the one thing he does that Edward never did is let me decide what was best for me. And there's certain things I feel about Steve that are different than what I felt for Edward that I like. I just...wish he would at least talk to me," I told her. She pushed a stray hair behind my ear.

"Bella, if you want him to talk to you...make him. You're a lot different from the person you were when you came here. Don't wait for him to make the first move, go make it."

"But what if-" I started, but she cut me off.

"What if it turns out right? What if you two have hot, steamy sex? What if you two end up together and happier? You'll ruin it before it begins if you think about the negative 'what if's.'" I sat for a moment in thought before I straightened my back and stood up.

"You're right," I said. "Where is he, Nat?" She smirked.

"My guess? Wallowing in his room, either reading one of the books you showed him or working out in the training room to work out his...aggression," she winked. I gave her a small hug.

"Thanks, Nat."

"Anytime, tiger. Now, go get him."

I decided to try to training room first, since it was nearby. Uncle Tony was in there, Aunt Pepper was in the corner on her tablet, but Steve was nowhere to be found. Unc looked at me as I entered.

"Hey kiddo, you okay?" He was eying me with knowing eyes, and I shrank slightly under them.

"Hey Unc, have you seen Steve?" I questioned. His eyes sparked and he turned away from me, instead facing the punching bag.

"He's in his room, Bells. Hey," he started as I turned to walk out. "He's a good guy. Not exactly my first choice in someone you'd be interested in, and he's like a century older than you, but he's decent enough. Don't corrupt the good Cap," he joked with a wink. I laughed as I farted towards Steve's room. I knocked once I was in front of the door, and heard his mellow voice reply to come in.

I walked in and he looked up at me from the book he was reading, and quickly stood.

"Bella-" he started, but I held my hand up.

"Steve," I started. "Shut up and let me kiss you, yeah?" I walked up to him and softly put my hands on his cheeks, as his one hand snaked around my waist. I slammed my lips against his, and his other hand went straight to my hair as he pulled me closer.

It was electric. A warm feeling I haven't experienced before. His lips were soft, and warm, his hands were strong, but pulling me closer rather than holding me back. I snaked my hands into his perfectly brushed hair and grabbed it into fists, as I parted my lips and darted my tongue out to ask for entry into his mouth. He let out a small groan before pushing me up against the nearest wall, as he opened his own mouth and our tongues danced.

"Fuck, Steve," I panted. He grabbed my legs and wrapped them around his waist, and I felt his erection through his jeans pressing against my center, and I couldn't help but buckle against him slightly with a moan. "Fuck, please," I begged quietly.

"What do you want, Bella?" He pulled back and looked at me. His eyes were dark, and filled with a hunger I wasn't sure he ever experienced.

"Steve," I squared my shoulders and looked deeply into his eyes. "I'm leaving this up to you. I know you're old fashioned. I'm not. I want to fuck you, I want you to kiss me, I want you to grab my hair and yank it while you fuck me. I want you to make me yours. But I don't just want that from you. I want to go on stupid little dates. I want to watch you read the newspaper, I want to watch movies with you while we cuddle on the couch. I want to hold your hand, and worry about you while you go out on your stupid missions. I want you, all of you, every last part, and every experience. I want that with you." His eyes had a small sense of wonder, and he put his hand gently on my cheek. My heart was pounding a mile a minute.

"I won't fuck you for the first time right here, right now. Not if you want all of that too. I want to do right by you. I want to talk to your dad, and uncle, get permission to take you out. I want to spoil you on our date and give you a kiss good night. I want to show you how you should have been treated all along, Bella. But I'm going to be honest. I want you physically too. More than I've ever wanted anyone before," his other hand trailed down my side and I threw my head back against the wall, noticing for the first time he still had me pressed up against it. "But I don't want to just fuck you. I want to make love to you, Bella. And I can't do that like this. I want to, but I want to do this better." I moaned slightly as he gripped my hip and he kissed my jaw softly.

"Steve," I whispered. "At least kiss me again, because fuck that was amazing." He laughed as he slowly moved away from the wall, and I untangle my legs from around his waist, instantly feeling the loss, but he kept one hand on my waist and one hand on my cheek.

He slowly dipped his head down towards mine, and rather than another rough, feverish make out session, this was soft, sweet, and gentle. His lips lightly pressed against mine, and I snaked my hands up his chest, to rest at the back of his neck. His thumb stroked my cheek lightly as we kissed, and we didn't pull away until we needed to breathe, resting our foreheads against each other.

"I guess I should make a trip to see your father," he joked. I groaned slightly before burying my face in his chest.

"Steve?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Shut up."

"Yes, dear."