Title: Bittersweet.

By: Nikki. T. (Chibi–Inu13)

Genre: Angst, Romance,

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, they all belong to the talented Rumiko Takahashi.

Ship: M/S

Authors Notes: Questions? Comments? E-mail me or ask me on lj.

Blue Skies

They say life is short, but it'll be the longest thing that you'll ever do –this describes your life perfectly. You live your life, wondering whether or not it's your day to die, if you'll live to see the next day or even next week at all. Battling demons and searching for the jewel shards is a dangerous task –endangering your life to protect those who are defenseless and striving to kill one of the most dangerous things ever known to man. You dedicate your life to this, putting yourself on the line to do what is right. But these are the least of your problems.

You sit on top of a hill over looking the village, a rueful smile at your lips as you stare at your gloved hand –the prayer beads wrapped around it rattling slightly as you flex your fingers. Who would've thought that underneath this little piece of cloth was one of the most powerful weapons ever created –a black hole powerful enough to suck in the tallest demon. So powerful that one-day it'll consume you, and suck you in as well. Your days are numbered; you've known this ever since you witnessed your father getting sucked into his. There one minute, gone the next –the only thing left of him a smoldering crater. It happened to your father and your grandfather and one day it'll happen to you.

You live your life in fear –knowing and yet not knowing. When will it happen? Will today be your day to die? Will you finally find out what happens to those who get sucked in? You ask yourself these questions everyday. It's ironic really. You tell others that death shouldn't be something to fear –that death is just the next great adventure in life that Kami planned for us, and yet you're deathly afraid of it. That's why you try so hard to produce an heir –someone who will finish what your grandfather started over 50 years ago, to lift the curse from your family once and for all. Your friends just think that you're a perverted monk –which is only the half-truth –but the fact is they don't know what it's like. They don't know what kind of pressure you're in –it's either kill Naraku, or produce a child who can do it for you before your time runs out.

It's growing bigger –you can feel it. It's only a matter a time before it gets big enough to kill you. Your friends don't know though, why burden them with your problems. Besides, they have more important things to worry about. You tried to get Mushin to fix it, but he wasn't able to stop it from spreading –he thinks that you have about a month or so to live. But you know that it's shorter than that, every time you use it, you struggle to close it –it's gotten way stronger than before. Your friends don't notice this though, they don't notice when you pant and struggle to stay standing every time you use it. They don't notice how you fight to control it, or how you try not to use it as much as before.

But she noticed. You can tell by her worried glances, how she watches you closely every time you use it. Nothing gets past her; she's too observant.

You can't tell her though –you care about her too much to. She already lost everyone she loved –her brother, her father –and you'd be damned before she lost you too. You can't leave her; she needs you too much. That's why you pray to every God you knew that you could be spared from this, that you could finally kill Naraku before his curse could get to you first –but they ignore your pleas. So you sit on edge all day, expecting it to be your last.

You stare up into the sky, watching as a flock of birds fly past you. You watch them disappear over the horizon, a wistful expression on your face. How you wish you were free like them –able to do whatever you wanted without a care in the world. A slight movement at the corner of your eye catches your attention, and you turn your head to see her sit beside you.

'The sky sure is blue today,' she says quietly.

'Yeah.' you agree with her. 'Yeah it is.' She looks at you and smiles –you smile back. You turn to look back at sky, the weight of your troubling thoughts seemingly getting lighter. 'You know I won't wait long to marry you.'

'I know. The sooner we get married, the sooner we can have those 20 kids that you always wanted,' she teases lightly.

It amazes you how much she changed from when you first met her. Before she would've never joked around like this but now, she's more light hearted. As if time spent with you and your friends changed her for the better. Sure, you could still see the underlying pain and suffering in her eyes, but now a days they were rarely seen and replaced with that of happiness.

'Hey,' she looks at you, a worried expression on her face. 'I know that there's something bothering you, but I won't force you into telling me what.'

'I'm fine Sango,' you lie, 'there's nothing wrong.'

How can you tell her that you may not be able to marry her after all? How can you look into those eyes of hers and tell her that in a month's time you could very well die in front of her eyes?

She seems to accept your answer and continues to stare off into space. 'I hope you don't mind me staying here with you.'

'Actually…I'd prefer if you'd stay with me forever,' you smile sadly.

You feel her lay a hand on top of yours –you can feel the heat of her hand passing through your glove. You remember that you only have a limited amount of days left with her. That in a few weeks, the Kazaana in your hand –the same hand she is holding –will suck you in. A part of you is glad that you didn't produce any children with her yet –you would never be able to forgive yourself if you left her and your child behind. You grew up without your father and you would never wish that upon any child. So you sit there content, happy to at least have these little happy moments, with her holding your hand just like right now.

'I'd like that,' she says.

You look down at her hand on top of yours and feel tears form at the corner of your eyes. Even if you were to die tomorrow, you'd die happy because you were able to spend time like this with her. Looking up, you don't make a move to wipe the tears that leak out from your eyes –not caring if she sees them or not –an actual smile making its way to your lips.

The sky sure is blue today…