Chapter 2: antikidnapping kidnapping

Disclaimer:

The following is a fan-based parody of Dragon Ball written By Akira Tomiyama. I am not him nor did I create Dragon Ball please support the official release.

Sour sat in the dusty crater covered in dirt and bruises. Yet despite this there he sat there looking like a child watching his first movie swaying side to side with mild interest tapping at his knees looking up at the two blue people before him accompanied by his new best friend Cooler.

"We haven't identified the paradox yet. To leave now would be a waste of time." The blue man also known as Mira said.

"We are time travellers. Time has no value! How can you waste something that doesn't affect us?" The blue dominatrix looking woman named Towa argued back, though being shorter she had to levitate herself to look him in the eyes.

"You would be willing to just give up on this paradox for this child purely because he is 'interesting'? Do you really think this boy is worth all that?"

"Fun fact I was once sold. I don't remember how or why but it was during my classic immortal depressed phase and I was hyped up on copious amounts of drugs!" Sour interrupted. He once bit off his master's ear but in Sour's defence his master was some kind of marshmallow looking alien race and Sour not being in the most sober of minds got the munchies.

"See! He's clearly insane!" Mira continued throwing an exasperated arm out towards Sour who sat there smiling.

"Do not forget your place Mira, you only exist cause I as a scientist was interested in the creation of you. Now, I as a scientist am curious about this boy and same scientific curiosity that is allowing you to breathe right now."

"I-I apologise." Mira stuttered, clearly confidence a little shaken much to Sour's delight.

"Cooler, you continue to protect the paradox and try to milk as much energy as you can before the time patrols send someone capable." Towa continued ignoring her blue partner and turning to the metallic demon.

"Wouldn't dream of it otherwise." Cooler replied with false cheer in his robot voice which made his positive attitude even more unsettling to Sour.

"Drop the attitude or I'll send you to the scrap yard."

"Threating the robot with the scrap yard. How original." Cooler rolled his eyes before disappearing before Sour. Probably the smart move considering how Towa gritted her teeth with silent rage.

"I swear to the kais If one more thing goes wrong, I'm going to scream." Towa lamented pinching the bridge of her nose mumbling under her breath.

As if the universe was listening Sour noticed a reflection of light on the blue woman's staff. Where was the glare even coming from Sour didn't even think it was possible considering that the sky was still covered in the burning remains of the city? Wait, it shouldn't be possible, where was the light coming from? Sour looked around trying to find the cause of the glare.

In the far distance in the air Sour could see a ball of light that continued to glow brighter in the distance against the contrast of the black clouds. The light slowly expanded from a ball of light till the small sphere eventually kept growing into a human sized circle. Out of the gateway of light a figure was seen slowly floating out.

The figure looked around Sour's age except instead of Sour's black hair the figure had purple. He wore a black trench coat with a furred collar yet the most apparent part of the young man's appearance was the sword strapped to his back. Sour personally didn't see much benefit in swords as they are only good against people your level as if they are slightly stronger, you can apparently just straight up block swords.

Sour recognised the boy over his many restarts as Trunks, a time traveller from the future with daddy issues and robophobia. Although Sour noticed that Trunks didn't appear in his usual yellow time machine which was weird. Rarely it wasn't Trunks that time travelled but sometimes it was Gohan or maybe even Bulma but it was always in the yellow time machine. Sour sat there looking up at the time travelling teen which didn't go unnoticed by his blue companions.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me since when are the time patrollers this quick?" Towa complained sensing the half Saiyan.

The half Saiyan himself took a second to evaluate the situation looking at the wreckage with a scowl on his face that looked remarkably smiler to the scowl Towa wore. The only person happy from this interaction seemed to be Mira.

The tall blue guy for the first time actually wore something that might have resembled a small smile if Sour scrunched up his eyes. "Finally, I've grown bored of this frivolous babble."

Trunks looked down at the pair of blue people and Sour, his face changing from a scowl of disgust to inconceivable rage, he pulled out something that Sour couldn't see from this distance before opening his mouth to what Sour assumed was orders through a small transceiver.

Putting the device back into his pocket Trunks relaxed himself and took deep breaths in and out. With a deep breath in Trunks let out a scream that caused a sudden burst of ki to erupt covering the teen in a white glow. The time traveller shot down toward Sour at extreme speed like a meteor. Unfortunately, such speed caused the purple haired boy to send clouds of dust out like a shockwave when he hit the floor with a loud bang. If Sour's leg and arms holes weren't infected yet then he was certain they were now.

"Mira and Towa! I see you've indoctrinated another evil bastard!"

"I am literally on the floor unable to move due to these pricks! How am I a part of this!" Sour attempted to point to his body on the floor injured, dirt covered and with a few more holes than humans are supposed to have. Trunks looked over at Sour trying to consider whether this was some elaborate trick to get him to lower his guard or the truth.

"Oh… Sorry, ummm. Where was I? Oh yeah, I won't let you destroy this time line any more, I've already called for back-up and alerted the time patrol of your presence. You won't be having this paradox I'll hold you back as long as I can you vile demons. I don't care if you break me, stab me, burn me or even kill me. I will not rest till this timeline is protected."

"Okay you can, have it." Towa shrugged.

"What?!" Both Mira and Trunks exclaimed. Mira more so from anger and Trunks out of shock.

"You can have it. Isn't that what you wanted, so you can go back to that centuries old kai who looks like a 12-year-old and beg for her attention." Towa continued to further explain to the teen nonchalantly waving her hand in a 'what can you do' manner.

"You're just going to let me stop the paradox and you're going to leave?"

"Yes."

"Bullshit!"

"I don't see what you find so difficult about comprehending this situation."

"Bullshit! I don't believe you." Trunks reached behind his back and unsheathed his blade getting into a battle stance with two firm hands against the handle pointing the tip forwards.

"You have got to be kidding me." Towa's knuckles whiten from her iron grip against her staff. Sour was quite pleasantly surprised by this restart; he's met two new people and met a Trunks who could time travel without a machine. Small miracles Sour supposed.

"Okay stop me when you stop following along" Towa pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration trying her best to elaborate the situation. It was bad enough she was surrounded by allies that combined weren't even half her IQ but to deal with the similar idiocy by her enemies was tiring to say the least.

"Okay…"

"I Towa, Mira and Cooler, will leave of our own violation and allow you to fix the paradox." Although Towa said this Sour could have Mira whispered under his breathe the word reluctantly.

"Okay everything after Cooler was a bit blurry." Towa slapped her forehead in frustration.

"Fuck it. It's like trying to explain rocket science to a monkey. No, I don't mean monkey in a racist way to you Saiyans, I mean if I got a literal monkey, it would be the same amount of difficultly to teach it complicated physics. Let's just go Mira."

"I bet you have Saiyan friends am I right because you are so not racist." Sour smirked at the blue girl much to Towa's displeasure.

"Mira, pick the idiot up we're leaving."

"Ha she called you an idiot Trunks." Mira walked over to Sour grabbing him by his shirt in tatters and threw him over his shoulder. Oh. He was the idiot. Sour probably should have picked that up from context. Towa waved her arms around like she was trying to squat an imaginary fly before from seemingly nowhere a black void slowly started to appear out of nowhere. It hummed with energy and purple and red electricity jumped around it.

"Stop!" Trunks yelled. "I don't know who he is or what you want with him but I'm not going to let you kidnap an innocent civilian."

"I just cannot get a break." Towa turned to Trunks unimpressed. "Mira, kill him".

Mira finally smiled dropping Sour onto the ground with a thud earning a groan from the hole filled human. Turning to the half Saiyan Mira looked at the boy with the excitement. The battle kind. He put one fist into his palm and cracked his knuckles. Trunks sensing the danger realised that his current form wouldn't exactly cut it. He let the ki he repressed out, much like Gohan his hair spiked up with a golden glow shooting up copious amounts of dust and cracking the very earth.

Though unlike Gohan, Trunks didn't stop. He kept screaming letting out more and more ki and draining the amount of oxygen he had left in what must have only been capable with super human lungs. His already golden hair seemed to raise a little more now with blue crackling electricity jumping all over his body. His teal eyes become colder and more serious after he finally stopped screaming to give Mira a glare. Gohan to Sour was comparable to a Sun, though right now Trunks was like multiple. Mira looked a little too excited by Trunks' power but he himself got into a battle stance and allowed his ki to rapidly expands.

Even though Trunks was like a cluster of stars Mira was something else entirely his power was equal to Trunks. Exactly equal. No one is exactly equal in power unless one person was intentionally matching the other and judging from the smirk Mira wore he was assuming it wasn't Trunks.

"I hope you're ready to die blue ma-" Trunks' taunt was cut off early by the grasp of Mira's hand firmly against his throat. In less than a seconds Mira was able to cross the distance instantly and dragged the half Saiyan against the floor creating a Trunks wide trench in the ground as Mira flew away dragging Trunks.

Sour watched the fight with mild amusement, unfortunately he was getting a little bored and the sharp stones on the ground were poking his body in uncomfortable places. Dusting himself off the ground he stood up shocking Towa.

"How are you standing? Cooler must be worst at murder then I thought he was which is surprising as my opinion of him I didn't think could get much lower."

"I learnt healing after death became a hobby, came in really helpful considering the crowd I'm in. Although, never was good at it, magic and healing though were never my forte. Well, not good at it isn't the right phrasing I can heal holes, minor injuries and even reattach limbs just unusable in combat due to it being Ki and attention expensive." Sour demonstrated his healing when he held up his hand to his black eye before a green glow illuminated half his face so when he took his hand away the black and blue was gone and his face returned to normal. Ki healing was insane, you needed less than half the amount of knowledge and studying then a doctor does but can heal with just a touch.

"Fascinating."

"Kiss my ass smurf." Sour flipped the woman off and used by far his best ability. Clothes beam. The technique to make fabric out of nothing, an ability that he learnt from Piccolo after he swore loyal slavery for life. One life wasn't worth much after all. He was covered in a faint yellow glow as his tattered clothes was replaced by fresh and new clothing. Sour stretched his arms across his body to get a feel for his new flesh as Towa stood amused by the sidelines.

Sour pushed his ki beneath him allowing himself to levitate up above the ground before he looked up to where Trunks and Mira was fighting. Mira apparently decided to forgo the illusion that they were similar strength and was fighting at a level beyond what Trunks could despite being a super Saiyan two. The time traveller looked like he tried punching a mountain with his face with his blood leaking from his slightly misshapen nose.

Well, this restart did get interesting by the end but it was time to die. Sour was about to fly over to Mira and Trunk's fight and most likely get a fist shaped hole through his stomach. However, try as he might he couldn't fly past some invisible force that kept his stationary in the air.

"Uh? Do you mind?" He asked Towa who was pointing her staff at him which Sour presumed was the cause of his lack of movement by some strange magical force.

"I can't let my new pet go off and die now, can I?"

"I can't die." Sour stated bluntly, he never hid the fact he was immortal but no one ever believed him. Not like he could show them cause when he died everything would restart with maybe some little differences.

"Immortal? Did you use the dragon balls?" She asked curiously. Sour assumed she thought he was immortal in the conventual sense of not dying and not the time restarting at death sense.

"Nah I gave up on that idea centuries ago, there are so many ways to get past immortality that the whole concept is basically a joke".

"How old are you?" Towa narrowed her eyes at Sour, maybe she was using some sort of magic to read his age, magic was weird like that. Although, Sour doubted she would find anything, for he really was… well he didn't know his age but he was assuming 16.

In the distance Trunks seemed to have taken a notice of Sour and Towa's interactions, he was probably cautious of Towa sneaking up on his and catching him by surprised despite the fact that Towa was more than capable of putting him in the ground himself. He floated in the air before Mira as both of them had blood on their face and knuckles. It was Trunk's blood on Mira's knuckles and face but he chose to ignore that fact for his pride's sake.

Clearly the boy Towa was trying to take must have been important. Some sort of diabolical plan if she wasn't interested in the paradox. Was the boy some mutant, the legendary super human? Maybe he was a genius like his mother capable of creating a time line destroying bomb. The worst possible outcome would be some sort of special android. Trunks wasn't the biggest fan of androids to say the least. Whatever it was Trunks had to put an end to whatever she was planning if not to save the timelines, then to piss of that blue witch.

Trunks narrowed his eyes at Mira, this wasn't the first time they fought. Usually he would have more help, but then again, there was a reason Mira was currently alive and well and not dead. He was stupidly strong. Trunks had learnt one thing in his time travelling adventures, one line that could render any villain immobile for a few precious seconds.

"Hey look is that Goku?" Mira shot his head to where Trunks pointed in the sky. He scanned over the area looking for that iconic orange gi yet was nowhere to be found.

Mira looked back to spot Trunks but he was already gone. Mira could easily out speed the kid but a few seconds was all Trunks needed to reach Towa and the boy.

Sour glared at Towa, he felt something for her. Was it love, hatred or something more? No, it was annoyance. Try as he might he couldn't break her magical grasp containing him. He would need some sort of surprise. He wasn't the best at magic but he could maybe use the dirt from the crater they were in to throw dust in her eyes. Or maybe he could-

Sour's thoughts were cut off by Trunks slamming into the immortal at supersonic speed instantly shattering the magical grasp and Sour's rips simultaneously. The two-time travellers went sprawling around the ground after the collision both seeing stars in their eyes. However, Mira floated down next to his female counterpart clearly with a scowl on his face after having his opponent flee from him.

"Dude, what the fuck! Ow, I think I can feel my ribs in my lungs like bony little daggers." Sour complained as he rolled onto his side activating his pain erasing technique to lessen the feeling of his ribcage being on fire.

"Hey! you think I enjoy flying headfirst into you!" Trunks argued back although Sour noticed that clearly, he had taken more damage than his half alien companion much to his own annoyance.

The two non-blue people glared at each other Sour because he was certain that Trunks broke most of his ribs and Trunks being mad cause Sour is a jerk.

"So besides breaking my ribs, what's the plan time traveller?" Sour said getting up from the ground, he had strong feeling that he wouldn't be getting the chance to heal.

"Honestly most of my plans involves either A getting a sudden power boost or B stalling for someone stronger to arrive."

"Yeah… Unfortunately, I understand that all too well."

Almost on queue Trunk's pocket started beeping with an ominous red beeping. It was honestly quite annoying and the repeated beeping did not improve Sour's mood in the slightest.

"I swear to God if you don't pick whatever that sort of time phone, I kill punch you so hard in the face that my fist shill shatter against your perfectly chiselled jaw."

"It's not a time phone… It's a cross multiverse communication device. Red beeping is a signal that I'm all good to retreat and I can portal home."

"Oh rad… Can I come?"

"I mean, I don't know we usually are told not to take people out of the timeline because it does bad stuff."

"I am literally about to get kidnapped and experimented on by some blue chick with a power fetish."

"And your solution is for me to antikidnap kidnap you?"

"I mean you can't get sick if you're sick."

"Yes, you can it's called coinfection."

"You know. You're kind of a dick."

"You done yet?" Towa interrupted the immortal and time traveller. Mira floated next to Towa silently clearly pissed off by Trunk's earlier Goku trick, but wouldn't dare speak up over Towa like the loyal lap dog he was.

Sour and Trunks picked themselves off the ground one with blood dripping from his face the other poking his chest repeatedly the same way a kid would just touch hot plate just to find out how much it hurts.

The purpled haired boy reached in his pocket to where his time phone kept blinking red pulling out what wasn't so much a phone but more like very small radio walkie talkie but with significantly more buttons and lights.

Towa and Mira clearly recognised the device if their eyes widening when they saw it was any indication. "Mira don't let him get awa-".

Towa didn't even have to finish her sentence before Mira shot forth faster than a bullet covering the distance immediately disappearing before Sours eyes. From Sour's perspective at one moment Trunks was pressing buttons on his walkie talkie, the next Trunks had been kicked back a good couple hundred metres, the time phone dropping onto the ground next to Sour which probably would have been fine if it wasn't for the hulking mass of muscles called Mira standing beside him.

Mira gave Sour a sly smile challenging him to make the next move. Such a sight might have been frightening for others, a being significantly more powerful than yourself challenging you to make the next move is not a position most people want to be in. Then again Sour wasn't like most people.

Sour went to one knee reaching down as fast as he could down to the device but Mira was to quick catching Sour's wrist with his own hand pinning to the ground. Mira gave Sour a smirk looking him dead in the eyes, their faces being a bit too close for Sour's liking.

"That's all you got?" Mira asked arrogantly feeling a bit too confident. Sour sensing Mira's ki could tell he was relaxed seeing Sour more as a joke then a threat, he wouldn't be surprised if Mira was at only 25% of his power which was still a mountain of power compared to Sour's grain of sand.

Letting out a growl Sour moved onto plan two. He knew he was going to lose in a battle of speed, endurance and power so that only left one real option. Foul play. Mira thought Sour wasn't even worth giving more than a fraction of effort to fight. Being human sucked. No super Saiyan, absorbing people or even fifty different forms like some certain space lizard emperors. Although Sour did have one little thing. Over the restarts Sour couldn't keep his body nor friends but he kept his memories and his techniques.

"Kaio-Ken time 3!" Yelling Sour felt his lungs expanded taking in more oxygen, his heart felt like a jack hammer as the muscles pumping the blood were strained and his ki forcefully pushed out of his body. Sour with his other hand and his increased speed reached down do the scorched earth and picked up a sand full of dust before taking a bit too much pleasure from throwing the dust into his eyes. You can train your body to shrug of a train crash but you can't train your eyes to not sting if dust gets stuck in them. Maybe if he was prepared and protected his eyes with ki like they do when they fly, he would have been okay but Mira was justifiably confident that Sour wouldn't pose a threat. Ha take that.

"Son of a bitch!" The blue man screamed instinctively letting go of Sour's wrist to bring his hands up to his eyes. Sour took this opportunity to steal back Trunk's device and launch himself back from Mira.

Finally getting some room from Mira who was currently swearing and screaming promises about putting body parts through other parts. To say the least Sour thought the guy needed to take a chill pill.

He lowered the Kaio-ken technique. It did a number on his body even at the lower levels, he couldn't go any higher than level 5 even for 10 seconds and could only manage level 3 for short bursts. Sour took this moment to fly over to Trunks who was holding his chest letting out strained shallow breaths after getting steamrolled by Mira.

"Yeah, getting your ribs shattered like that sucks, doesn't it?"

"Just give me the time phone."

"I thought it wasn't a time phone." Sour gave Trunks a smile to which he got a finger as a response.

"I just need a couple of seconds to establish a connection to the time nest so they can get a get a portal up and we can leave."

"How many couple seconds?" Sour asked giving the time phone to Trunks.

"I don't know a few?" Trunks reposed busily fiddling the device while Trunks pressed pushed and dialled a few buttons. Thankfully during this time, the two blue pair seemed to be distracted. Towa seemed to just stand next to Mira yelling at him choosing to do nothing at all. Mira however was starting to adjust to his eyes which were redder and more irritated than before. Sour guessed from Mira's rage filled glare that he wasn't to bothered with irritation and more focused on wanting to kill the to boys. Mira shot forwards towards Trunks and Sour and Sour guessed that Kaio-ken wasn't going to cut it this time.

"Done!" Trunks grabbed Sour's collar faster than he could react and forcefully flung both their bodies back away from Mira's appending death causing charge. A white glow appeared behind them causing Sour's vision to be saturated in its glow as they passed the portal's threshold. Getting one look back at Mira before their hold body entered the portal, he saw Mira one last time face red with anger. Sour brought one hand up and gave Mira the finger as a goodbye present giving the blue fighter one last kind hearted smile which he knew would piss off Mira even more. Right before Mira could wrap his fingers around Sours' throat the light that enveloped the two boys disappeared before his eyes leaving nothing but empty space.

"Damnit!"

Thanks for reading

I was a little unsure how to put Mira on a power scale. I personally prefer tiers over power levels as power levels are often bullshit. I was looking online and a lot of people said Mira was SSJ3 level while Towa was Supreme Kai being weak physically but with some nifty magic powers.