Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Jessica01: That's true. I don't think I ever saw that episode.

Just Jill: It's bad, but not quite as bad as it could be.

DizneeDol: Yeah, that's Tommy's brother's name, but I never saw the episode either. There's a lot of episodes I never saw, actually. :P Here's more.

Jenny: Obviously, Ashley didn't make it to class that day. She's going to talk to Andros, don't worry, but David's going to hang around for awhile.

flowerweasly16: Andros and Ashley really need each other right now, but they're having trouble supporting each other.

JakiBlue: Thanks. I love messing with them so much...

Ashley Hammond/Astro Yellow: Thanks. You've been a bad influence on me. But I think the results have been pretty good. :P

Chapter 14

"Andros?"

"I'm in here, Ash," she heard him call from the direction of the kitchen.

Ashley shut the door behind her with a sigh. Drawing in a deep breath to fortify herself, she rested her forehead lightly against the door, knowing what she needed to say to Andros. Exhaling slowly, she entered the kitchen, pausing just inside the doorway.

"Hey," she said softly, leaning uneasily against the doorjamb. "It smells good in here."

"I found it in the freezer." Andros shrugged, nodding at the frozen lasagna box protruding from the trash can. "I was hungry."

Ashley smiled slightly. "You were tired of eating breakfast foods for dinner, you mean."

"Yeah..." Andros hesitated. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving," she said, shifting uncomfortably. "How long until it's ready?"

He glanced at the clock and then back at her, not quite meeting her eyes. "Fifteen minutes, maybe."

"Good," Ashley said softly, letting out another breath. "Andros, sit down. We need to talk."

"Ash..."

"Sit, Andros," she said firmly, unable to stand the pleading in his tone. He did, eventually, seating himself stiffly on the edge of the seat.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked quietly, his voice heavy with resignation. Andros was far from stupid, and as Ashley watched him sadly, she knew he was expecting her to say something he didn't want to hear.

"Okay, first..." Ashley sighed. "First, I owe you a huge apology for what I said to you this morning. I'm so sorry, Andros. I - "

"It's all right," he interrupted, his eyes anywhere but on her.

Ashley sighed again and leaned across the table, her fingers grasping him gently by the chin. When he didn't recoil, she slowly turned his head towards hers until their eyes met.

"Is it really?"

"It's fine, Ash."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded, pulling away. Ashley knew he was lying, but didn't know what she could say. "I'm still sorry."

"I know you are," he said softly, his eyes flickering towards her. "But it's all right, Ash."

"Don't say that," she nearly screamed at him, but caught herself just in time. Swallowing, she forced a smile, focusing on the wood grain of their kitchen table.

"I didn't go to class today," she said suddenly. Andros looked up at her in surprise, and she rushed on before he could say anything. "I just couldn't, and I was driving around town, and, well... somehow I ended up at the cemetary. I - "

"Cemetary?" Andros repeated softly. "Ash..."

"My grandparents are buried there," she said. "I thought it might help if I just... talked to them."

Andros nodded slowly, though she couldn't be sure he undertood. "Did it? Help, I mean."

"Yeah." Ashley nodded. "I think it did... I know that they're all right now, and they're together, and... and I think they're taking care of our little boy for us. I think he's all right."

There was some hope flickering in the depths of Andros's sad eyes. "Do you really?"

"I have to believe he's all right," she said softly. "I need to, or else it will never get better."

She stopped there, watching him intently. "Andros? Do you think he's all right?"

He turned away from her, not much, but just enough so that she couldn't meet his eyes no matter how she shifted. "I want to," he said quietly, his voice little more than a whisper. "But I don't know, Ash."

"Why not?" Her voice came out stronger than she'd wanted, and the question became more of a demand. "Don't you want your child to be all right? Be safe?"

"Of course I do," he whispered. "But Ash, I just don't know. I don't know what happens when people die. Everyone I've lost... I want them to be safe. I want them to be happy, but I just don't know, Ash, and I don't want to guess."

"Why not?" she asked again, her voice gentler this time. "It's easier to let go if you know that they're all right."

"That's why," he said. "Don't you see? If I think that they're all right, and then I find out later that they're not, it would be like I'd abandoned them somehow."

"You wouldn't have abandoned them," she argued. "You still remember them, don't you?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Then grieve for them," Ashley said quietly. "Mourn. But you have to let them go. You have to move on."

"It's not that easy, Ash," he said softly. "How do I let go of our baby?"

"Just... believe that he's all right," Ashley told him. "Cry for him."

"I'll try," he said hesitantly. He turned then, his eyes finally meeting hers. "Ash? Would you... help me?"

Guiltily remembering being asked a similar question that morning, Ashley nodded her head, reaching across the table to clasp his hand. He offered her a tentative smile, and she realized for the first time how long it had been since she'd touched him. She squeezed his fingers hard, as if she could keep him from slipping away.

"Andros?" Ashley hesitated. "Can we name him?"

Through their joined hands, she felt him tense. "Would it help?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "It might, but when I was... with my grandparents, I realized that whenever we talked about him, we just called him 'him' or 'our baby.' It doesn't feel right, Andros. He's our son and we should name him."

"You have a name picked out already, don't you?" he asked knowingly, a trace of a sad smile on his face.

Ashley smiled back timidly. "Yeah," she admitted. "What do you think of the name Joey?"

"Joey?" Andros repeated. "Why Joey?"

"It's short for Joseph," she explained. "That was my grandpa's name."

He nodded slowly. "If it's what you want."

"It is," she said, giving his fingers another squeeze. "Thanks."

"I love you," he said abruptly, pulling his fingers out of hers, turning away again. "Ash, I love you."

Remembering how she'd fled that morning, Ashley winced guiltily. Slipping out of her seat, she moved across the table to wrap her arms around his neck. He seemed surprised at the hug, but returned it willingly, standing to make the embrace more natural.

"I love you too," she whispered in his ear. "So much, Andros."

He shifted then, pulling back just enough to press his lips against hers. The kiss was uncertain, and Ashley returned it hesitantly, becoming all too aware of the awkward distance growing between them.