Chapter 2
July 1977
When I was pregnant with my second son, I became depressed. He was illegitimate; my electricity was shut off; my water was off; my gas was off; and I didn't have a job. The gas wasn't an extreme problem since it was in July and we didn't need heat and we were cooking on a small hibachi grill. The water was the main problem. I went to pick up my last check from the last place I had worked and it was just barely enough to pay the water bill.
I drove to the east side of town to pick up the check and then headed for the west side of town to pay the water bill. While I was traveling on I-70 across an overpass on my way across town, I began to feel drowsy. I started thinking, What am I doing bringing another child into the world when I can't even support the one I have? It would be so easy to just let myself fall asleep and let both of us be killed.
The next thing I knew, I was coming to and still couldn't yet see but I realized I was accelerating (or at least I thought I was). I was terrified! I thought that any moment I would be crashing through the guard rail and down onto the road below.
As my vision cleared, I realized I was actually slowing down! My foot was on the brake, not the accelerator; and I had guided the car over onto the shoulder without going near the guardrail!
At that time, I knew that God had guided my hands and foot and that He didn't want me to take my life - or the life of the child I was carrying. I also realized I didn't really want to die