Chapter 3
1978 - July 1979
After I had Jeremy and got my weight down, I went back to work as a go-go dancer. Then a friend of mine told me his boss needed a secretary/girl Friday. I went and talked to Danny and he hired me to work six hours a day.
When Jeremy was almost a year old and Jonathan was four, I began practicing yoga with a program on TV. I was still in a backslidden state and hadn't yet turned my life over to Christ, but I knew that I shouldn't use this as anything more than an exercise program. At the end of each program, the instructor would have the class go into a relaxation pose and meditate. I also knew that I wasn't to meditate on anything but the Bible, so I started looking for scriptures to meditate on and when the instructor would have us meditate, I would meditate on a scripture.
At that time, a friend (who claimed to be a magician) had lent me a book that I was reading that contained information on all of the new age practices. It had astrology, numerology, yoga and many other things. After I read about half of the book, I realized it wasn't of God and that I shouldn't be reading it.
I was tired of the kind of life I was living at this time, so I went to the unemployment agency to try to find some kind of job that would lead into a career. They had me take some tests to see what kind of work I could do. I made high scores on everything. When the counselor told me this, I said, "Great, so now what do I do?"
She started making suggestions and at one point she said, "Or you could go to college, or you could…"
I stopped her and asked, "What was that you just said?"
"I said you could go to college."
"How could I go to college? I don't have any money. I live hand to mouth as it is."
"Well, there are loans and grants to help you pay your way."
"So how do I get them?"
"Go out to IUPUI and apply for admission and then ask them where the financial aid office is. That's where you apply for the loans and/or grants."
I went out to IUPUI and applied for admission and for the grants. They warned me that the grants may not come through in time for that semester and that I may have to wait until January to start. However, a month later, I got the letter telling me I had a grant that would pay my tuition with enough left to pay for my books and supplies.
A few months earlier, I had had some things stolen from me that my mother had loaned me. When I realized I couldn't find her sewing machine, I had to call her and tell her I thought it had been stolen as well. She said, "I've got something to tell you, too."
I thought, Oh no, she's going to tell me she's not going to let me borrow anything again.
But what she said was, "You know my diamond ring you always wanted?"
I said, "Yes."
And she asked, "Do you still want it? I've lost the diamond out of it, but you could get it replaced."
The ring she was talking about was her engagement ring that I used to wear when it didn't fit her because of her weight. I was 13 at the time and I thought it was one of the most beautiful rings I had ever seen. I had told her that when she died, all I wanted was her ring.
A few days after I got the ring from my mother, I was on my way to work and I started thinking about all the good things that had been happening in my life. I had a regular job (although I was still dancing two nights a week); I had been accepted for admission to college, as well as for grants to pay for it; and my mother had given me her engagement ring. I realized I should be thanking Someone for all the good things that were happening in my life. Driving down the street, I started praying and thanking God for all He was doing for me. Tears pouring down my face I said, "Lord, I swore no man would ever again tell me what to do, but You tell me and I'll do whatever You say."
The next night that I worked as a dancer, I gave notice to my boss that it would be my last weekend dancing. The next night, my babysitter's mother wouldn't let her baby sit so I didn't go back.