The air was thick with tension as Connor and Angel patrolled the rear of the hotel, keeping watch for anything that might look like an attack on the hotel. It was clear Connor resented being forced to work with his father and Angel, despite his earlier hopes that this would help the two of them reach an understanding was beginning to doubt that the two of them would ever be anything but enemies.

"Keep an eye on those bushes," he warned Connor softly. "They're large enough to conceal small groups."

"I know what I'm doing." Connor responded stiffly. "I don't need your help."

"You don't know everything Connor." Angel told him calmly. "Why won't you let me teach you?"

"I've been taught by someone." Connor replied, his voice soft, even vulnerable in the darkness. "Without his teaching I wouldn't have survived this long."

"I'm grateful to Holtz in a lot of ways Connor." Angel admitted. "Most of all for keeping you safe. We had our differences, but..."

"Don't talk about him as if he were someone you knew!" Connor hissed suddenly. "You didn't know him, you didn't know him at all! All you did was hurt him. Him and his family. I was all he had."

"You weren't his Connor," Angel reminded him patiently. "He took you away from me as an infant. He stole you! You are my son, not his."

"And what about his son?" Connor shot back, his voice rising with emotion, despite the fact that they were supposed to be patrolling silently. If Buffy and Gunn heard them from their positions they didn't let it show. "You stole his son away from him! You killed his whole family, you monster! At least Holtz kept me alive. He loved me the way he couldn't love his own son and it's all your fault."

"You're right it is." Angel said, his shoulders slumping with a weariness he had thought he wasn't capable of anymore. "And I feel the pain of his loss every day that I live, can you understand that? I pay for my crimes, what about his? Taking you away from me only hurt you Connor. Do you think you would have spent so many years in Quartoth if it weren't for him? Do you think that if I had raised you it would have been there? It was Holtz who took you into that place not me. He may have cared for you, but it was only to hurt me. The fact that you remain loyal to him is his ultimate revenge can't you see that? Even after he's dead he can go on hurting me!"

"You're wrong!" Connor yelled, clenching his fists, refusing to believe Angel's words. "It's not his fault I was there, it can't be! He took care of me, he helped me survive!"

"Do you think that doesn't mean he didn't jump into that portal?" Angel exclaimed, wanting desperately to get through to his son, to break through that barrier that Holtz had so carefully constructed. "If he hadn't taken you, if you had been here with me where you belong..."

"You weren't there!" Connor burst out, unable to stop the tears from cascading down his face. "I was stuck in that horrible place for eighteen years and you weren't there! But he was. He was there. He kept me alive, can you understand that? He showed me how to survive, he raised me, he LOVED ME. I was in hell and YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

"Do you think I didn't want to be there?" Angel cried, taking three large steps towards his son and grabbing him swiftly by the shoulders, desperately wanting to hold the boy, but knowing he was far too volatile at the moment for such an act. "Do you think I wanted you to go through that without me? Do you think I didn't do everything I could to save you? To keep him from jumping into that portal? When he went through I ran after him and I tried desperately to go in after you, did you know that? I would have jumped into Quartoth in a heartbeat if I could. I would have moved Heaven and Earth to get you out. Holtz put you in that place Connor, not me."

He touched his son's chin gently and raised his head so that the two of them were staring into each other's eyes. Connor was still crying softly.

"Not me, Connor."

"He was all I had in the world." Connor whispered softly. "All I had for eighteen years and now he's gone and all that's left is the man he hated more than anything else. The man he had taught me was responsible for us being in that hell place. Now I'm hear and he's not and I'm scared. How can I trust you? How can I betray him like that?"

"Acknowledging that I'm your father is not a betrayal Connor." Angel told him gently. "It's the truth. This world is harsh. Harsher than Quartoth in some ways. I've been to a hell dimension before, don't assume that I don't know what it's like. I do. I was there for hundreds of years and you know who put me there?"

"Who?" Connor asked, intrigued, despite himself. Angel smiled slightly.

"Buffy." He told him. Connor blanched, unable to believe his ears.

"Buffy? She sent you to..."

"I don't know what the name of the hell dimension she sent me to was, but she did send me there." He sighed and moved away from his son, putting his hands in his pockets. He then proceeded to tell the story of how Buffy had to do her duty despite the fact that it meant sending him to hell. Connor listened with rapt attention, unable to believe the things his father was telling him.

"You were really there for hundreds of years?" Connor asked, forgetting to be hostile for the first time in a long while. Angel nodded. "Why....why did you forgive her? She betrayed you. You had your soul back and she..."

"She did what she had to do, she didn't betray me at all." Angel explained. "What happened to me wasn't my fault and it wasn't hers, but she didn't have any other choice. She had to save the world and I had to go to a hell dimension in order for that to happen. I don't blame her for what she did to me. She's a slayer first and foremost and it was her job to sacrifice me. I envy her strength Connor. If I were in her position....well, I couldn't do it let's just leave it at that."

"You couldn't?" Connor echoed. "So if it were me..."

"I couldn't." Angel stated once more. "I couldn't willingly send anyone I loved to a place like that, job or not. I just couldn't."

Connor was silent for a good long while, taking in everything his father had said, trying desperately to make sense of it all.

"Dawn says....she says you two still love each other." His eyes met Angel's and it looked as if Connor for once wanted his genuine advice on something. "Do you? Love her?"

"With everything I am, I do." Angel whispered, desperately trying to hold back the flood of emotion that accompanied those words. "God help me, I always will. I'm doomed that way."

"What about Cordelia?" Connor wondered. "Don't you love her?"

"I do," Angel admitted. "But it's a different kind of love."

"How is it different?" Connor was genuinely confused.

"The way I love Cordelia is different because it's...easier...comfortable...safe." Angel finally replied, hating himself for admitting it out loud. "I can't hurt her, or anyone else if I love her."

"But your soul..."

"Is only lost if I achieve one moment of perfect happiness." Angel clarified. He looked to the ground, as if ashamed to speak his next words, even aloud. "That only happened with Buffy. That CAN only happen with Buffy. Even if Cordelia and I were to....she's safe. That's why I can love her. She's safe."

"She doesn't consume you like Buffy does." Connor stated, sounding for once, far wiser than his years. Angel looked up at him, stunned at Connor's ability to grasp the true nature of the situation. He shook his head, hating himself for the way he had treated Cordelia.

"No, she doesn't. She can't."

"What if..." Connor paused, unsure of how to continue. "How do you know that you've met someone that can consume you? I mean, how did you know that Buffy was...that you loved her the way you did?"

"I saw her, and I knew." Angel told him with a simple shrug of his shoulders. "There was just something about her I knew I loved. Connor is there someone...are you trying to ask me..."

"I'm not trying to ask anything," Connor replied, turning abruptly away and folding his arms across his chest. "I just wanted to know about her. She is Dawn's sister. She's the slayer. She intrigues me that's all."

"Dawn's sister..." Angel murmured thoughtfully. It was becoming obvious to him that Dawn meant more to Connor than even he had suspected. "Connor is Dawn..."

"We're being too loud." Connor said firmly. "Let's just patrol."