***Author's Notes***
Pardon the shortness of this scene (a chunk of this is actual Author's Notes material. . .), and especially over the length of time (two- three weeks?) but with a headache from a fever-cold, I could not write.
So I wrote it in separate bursts, which might explain a mood swing or two (of plot, not of characters).
***Author's Notes***
***
Chapter 02-09 "Ablutions" v.1.0 (Chapter Two: The Manipulator and the Subservient, Scene 09)
***Lionel Castle***
The cardinal was kind enough to show them to their quarters personally. The conversation on the walk through the keep's corridors was trite, polite nothings that danced around the main issues.
"Highness, I believe we can discuss your state visit before noon tomorrow," he told Ovelia, "would that be acceptable?"
Politely, Ovelia nodded, herself feeling inadequate before the plain dignity Draclau emanated. "The chance to rest is appreciated," she told him, feeling the caked sweat on her face crack as she smiled wearily.
Silently, Ramza, Alicia, Lavian, and lastly Mustadio just watched as the two talked.
"I shall see just how pleasant I can make your retreat here. . ." Draclau then excused himself as he addressed Agrias. "There will be servants posted outside your quarters," he told her, "but your privacy will not be intruded upon."
(Translation,) Agrias thought, (we'll be protected but they'll be leaving us alone.) "Milord," she replied simply as she bowed.
Giving them a small nod, the cardinal walked away alone.
Agrias felt lighter now, more and more of her burden being lifted away. (I need to unwind. . .) she thought, as she entered the room before Ovelia, as if to examine the room, even if there was little point in 'preparing the way' into their suite.
The suite was large, to say the least. Cozy as well. The chill that would have permeated a room with stone walls was minimized by tapestries like at Zaland; these were also landscapes, but more elaborate. The stone floor was homely, with cloth rugs covering most of the floor's surface. The furniture was humble, but it was still there, unfinished, but the craftsmanship superb. The front room they were in was open, with tables and their chair set up along the walls.
"At last, huh?" Alicia spoke up.
"Yes, quite. . ." Ovelia agreed, pleased.
***
Taking the initiative, Ramza had gone to the stables, taking Alicia and Lavian with him to make sure that their cargo was properly looked after and delivered. They were to direct the porters as to what to bring to their quarters. Mustadio tagged along.
Meanwhile, Agrias and Ovelia were alone in the suite, having nothing better to do. The tedium that was rest was incredible to Agrias. Now that she wasn't constantly thinking about anything, the lack of crisis and damage control was amazing. Agrias had already removed her armor, padding around barefoot and clad in her linen pants and tunic. Without her metal second skin, Agrias felt light again.
(Wonder if my body's changed. . .) Agrias worried, remembering just the small discomfort she had with her armor as of late, besides the obvious penetration thereof. (I've been in constant action, and I'm thinking I've gotten fat?) Agrias realized, feeling silly. (Maybe I'll ask Ramza again. . .) she thought playfully, and Agrias noticed one more thing about herself: in the initiative lied comfort, a fact she did not appreciate.
Ovelia was still stuck in her monastery robes, already stained a light beige by the dirt they had tracked on the ride here. It was obvious that she was eager to change into a fresh set of clothing.
"He only gave us two bedrooms. . ." Ovelia remarked as Agrias and her went exploring their temporary home away from Lesalia or the monastery.
Agrias blinked. The entry room lead into a bedroom, which lead to another bedroom; where Agrias and Ovelia would set up camp. The first bedroom would again serve as the buffer.
"I wonder where Mr. Ruglia will stay?" Ovelia pondered
"Oh. . ." Agrias said simply, confused. "With Mustadio, I guess."
"I didn't remember the cardinal giving showing those two to their room, only ours. . ."
***
"Ah. . ." Ramza murmured after being asked where he will spend the night. Mustadio shrugged likewise, ignorant.
"There's only two rooms," Agrias said uncomfortably, as if she was making an excuse. The stares of the three other females in the room were making her very self-conscious.
She was disappointed when Ramza failed to look crestfallen.
"I'll go ask around and see if they have a spare bunk or cot somewhere," Ramza told her, a small smile on his face.
"Will you be okay?" Agrias asked, wondering, and she winced as her words left her. (Obvious. . .) she told herself.
"Don't worry," Ramza assured her. "I can always sleep in the stables."
Before the women in the room could turn their attention to him, Mustadio opted to say, "I'll stay in the library! I'm sure the study's open. . ." he remarked loudly in haste. Without waiting for any replies, Mustadio hurriedly left the room.
Alicia groaned as Lavian tried to become inconspicuous by going to the first bedroom with a small bundle of clothing in her arms. Lavian was dressed the same as Agrias, having shed her armor, while Alicia was still dressed as a chemist woman.
Ovelia came into the conversation with an almost indignant voice. "For all you've been through for us, Mr. Ruglia," she addressed him, "I would not mind if you continued to protect us," she stressed, "by being a sleeping sentinel in this room," she indicated. Then she turned her attention to Agrias. "Wouldn't you agree?" she asked gently.
Fighting the stammer that was coming on, Agrias brusquely nodded. "Yes, the cardinal's people shouldn't be bothered by something like this. . ." she looked at Ramza guiltily. "We've spent enough time in the field. . . together. . ."
Blinking, Ramza just nodded. "Thank you Agrias," he paused, "and your highness."
Ovelia suppressed a sigh. "Even though I know you won't, please, my given name is Ovelia," she pointed out, knowing that no one would break that piece of protocol.
"About Mustadio. . ." Ramza brought up, doubtful if he should see how far the womenfolk's hospitality extended.
"He 'found' something for himself," Alicia remarked drily, obviously leaving something unsaid. "Let's get Ramza set up," she declared, looking at Agrias. "I don't think there're any cots to spare though."
"The floor will be fine," Ramza absentmindedly replied, wondering what was going on around him.
"Not until we get some blankets for you first," Agrias threw out unthinkingly. She was surprised when no one except Ramza seemed to notice her outburst.
"Sor-" he began, but cut himself off as he saw her glare. "Um. . . I didn't bring much with me, all I have to do to prepare is to get out of my armor."
"This I want to see," Ovelia brought up, the innocent tone she tried to portray spoiled the playful undertone her remark possessed.
Knowing she stood a good chance of being teased, Agrias stepped up to Ramza and giving her an understanding smile, they began the process of removing the plating he wore.
It didn't help that Alicia hooted as Ovelia giggled, which made Agrias blush, while Ramza did the best he can to look unaffected.
Through the embarrassment Agrias enjoyed it.
***
Again, their room had no window, located in the inner core of the keep. Agrias missed the view more than she detested the night's chill. (Stuffy. . .) was what Agrias thought, summarizing her opinion of their quarters.
"Is there anything to do?" Alicia impatiently inquired.
"Town leave?" Ramza offered softly, a pleasant expression on his face.
Lavian shrugged. "It feels too long since the last time. . . the Imperial City I think."
"Not as if I have anyone to support with my pay. . ." Alicia let out sullenly, before changing the subject. "Dame Agrias? Would it be all right if we. . ."
"If you can find something to do," Agrias told them. She trusted them to take care of themselves.
"Ramza," Alicia continued, "wanna come with?"
Clad in his faded gray tunic and dark blue pants, Ramza stood. He shrugged. "To a point." He raised his forearm to his nose and made a slight sniff to make a statement. "Until we stumble into a place where we can bathe."
"We?" Lavian brought up, the demure façade trying to hide a smile.
Ramza was smart enough to say nothing as his mouth dropped.
"Ma'am," Alicia addressed Agrias again. "Maybe you should come along too." The two were enjoying trying to draw a reaction from either Ramza or Agrias.
Though assailants weren't her main worry at this point, Agrias hesitated. Ramza kept quiet, apprehensive.
"Not to put too fine a point on it. . ." Lavian began to advocate.
"We reek," Alicia finished.
Agrias chose to make no arguments as Ovelia herself carefully took a whiff of one of her robe's sleeves, the sour frown leaving no room for interpretation.
***
Agrias refrained from clucking as Ramza lead the way through the corridors. She didn't want to allude his actions to that of an eager child, but the nature of them was pure male if she ever saw it. If it wasn't for the fact he actually asked directions from servants and soldiers he met in the halls, Ramza would have fit the stereotype perfectly. (At least he has hope), Agrias thought.
She shivered. The women had brought change of clothing, but no indoor footwear; they all had worn boots. Thus, Ramza included, everyone padded around barefoot. While Ramza and Lavian simply walked at an even pace, Agrias and the others cut a funny show as they tried hopping from carpet strip to carpet strip.
The baths were actually baths. Agrias found something very intriguing about them as well. They were segregated. By that, they seemed to be fit for their specific customer, well, from what Agrias saw of the chamber made for the 'fairer' sex.
There wasn't a collective pool of any kind, but instead, a series of tubs recessed into the stone floors. (So I only have to drag myself out of the tub and onto the floor instead of falling into it,) Agrias pondered, amused, liking the feature. Following Ovelia and the other women, Agrias deposited her fresh clothing at the common area -the dry zone. She had been in baths like this before - but only in Ivalice's capital in Lesalia. Normally, she was content to take a bath in whatever clean-looking stream she found, but the pursuit and then the retreat gave her no solid opportunity.
Now that she thought about it, Agrias felt as if she was wearing a second skin, the accumulation of sweat, grime, and dust from days in the field. She found it annoying that it was only uncomfortable now that she had the time to think about such things. (But I felt so fresh that night in Dorter. . .) Agrias thought, thinking back to the desperate day where the pursuit began.
As soon as she stepped onto the rough, moist, and warmed tiles, Agrias curled her toes, luxuriating in the feel. The room was actually warm, and she thought that there was actually staff underneath them who had fires going to do so. There was the hint of steam in the indoor well, where everyone would pail water to their own baths.
Nodding at Alicia and Lavian, the Knights of St. Konoe went on water- lugging duty for the princess' bath. Ovelia knew that there was little point in stopping them; instead the princess opted to fetch several soaps and bathing stones -pebbles smoothed by river currents- to distribute among their four tubs; as they served her, she would serve them.
The pitching effort was sloppy as the three women hurried, some water spilling out of the metal pails; even wet, the rough texture of the floor kept any of them from slipping.
Once finished with Ovelia's tub, the knights continued on to fill each others' respective tubs. None of them were surprised that Ovelia simply reclined on her side, waiting for them to finish before she would get into her basin.
All through this, not a word had been said, everyone finding a role to fulfill and following it. A moment of synchronization to fulfill a common purpose -even if it was an insignificant matter that suited the mood: camaraderie. That and they hadn't bathed for almost a week.
***
Disrobed, Agrias sat on the stone floor, her legs in a butterfly, finally having a chance to examine how that part of her body had held up. (Ha! So I didn't fatten up!) Agrias thought, a shallow thought to play down her true fears of wounds that had not been spotted, permanent mutilations upon her form. Even as a woman of the sword and to a degree: the cloth, Agrias valued her appearance. Anyone she's ever met that's claimed otherwise was a liar, through-and-through.
She always wondered why of men and women in the field, men grew the most gaunt while women always retained their characteristic curves. Or in other words, why women always kept the most fat.
Agrias was pleased with that. She was active enough that her body consumed enough energy to keep her trim. Her muscle mass had grown stronger, but not larger, another fact that pleased her. More or less her body had not changed for several years now, and Agrias wanted that trend to continue.
(Clean. . .) Agrias thought, admiring her thigh where it met her knee. She had been bathing for several minutes now, enjoying the change in temperature, within and without. Initially, the water had been chill, but as the unseen miracle workers increased the heat being applied from beneath, the temperature of the tubs rose. Agrias had ignored the soap, letting herself soak as she let her mind roam free. Even the sensation of the water traveling up from her sunken hair to soak her scalp was extraordinary.
Resting her head on a towel she was using as a pillow set at one end of her tub, Agrias turned her gaze to the side to see Alicia and Lavian to her left, each in their respective tubs. She wasn't surprised to see that both were overflowing with soap bubbles; a mass of suds that continued to grow, beginning to spill over the smooth lips of their respective tubs, creating a slippery field of lather between Alicia and Lavian.
Letting them have their fun was one thing, but letting them act like children? The question was one Agrias threw around for a few moments, as she basked in the absence of the overwhelming feeling of responsibility, cascading consequences, all of which had borne down against her. What amazed Agrias was that all such burdens was something she had placed upon herself; regardless how responsible she felt, Agrias knew, the consequences would've been the same, and she knew that such worries would never have had an effect on her conduct.
Agrias let her attention wander back to her body again. She was thankful that the warm water acted as if it had its own scent, smothering everyone's collected 'aroma' from their time spent traveling. That, or such a simple substance truly did cleanse everything so well. Playfully, Agrias cupped water in both of her hands on either side of her, and she poured them as they dripped out of her grasp onto her thighs and knees.
Setting aside self-consciousness, Agrias laughed out loud. She continued to lay in her tub, reclined, her knees bent, most of her weight on her rump and her shoulders from where they touched the tub. Freely her calves kicked lightly -playfully, across the water, her wriggling in the sensation of the mild current of resistance that she was causing. (All the small things. . .) Agrias luxuriated in, finding it almost a struggle just to peek an eye open after she had shut them in satisfaction. Seeing that Ovelia was taking care of herself, Agrias went back to herself, enjoying nothing and everything.
***
Playfully, Agrias mentally chased after some terms that would do justice to what she was experiencing right now. Catharsis had occurred when they had reached this castle, and Agrias now rode it down. Lazily, Agrias raised her left arm out of the water to her elbow. Curiously, she held it to her face and scratched with her right hand. She was a little disgusted by the layer of black dirt scraped away by her nails, but Agrias had expected it. Soap performed wonders, but given time, water could accomplish most the same miracles. Still, she was fascinated at how she was able to clean herself this way.
Contentment rang through her mind, and Agrias found it an apt word. She sought others that had brought similar thoughts and feelings to her mind.
"Ramza," Lavian said pleasantly.
The word triggered those very thoughts and feelings in Agrias, or did so until recognition of what the word -the name- implied and meant solidified in her mind.
"Oh, hi there," Agrias heard Alicia remark.
Agrias only took a moment to blink before she panicked. Factual statements flashed in her mind in reference to the moment. (I am naked in the women's bath.) (Ramza is in the women's bath.) (Ramza is in the women's bath when I am naked.) The three points agreed in a manner -put lightly, that Agrias did not find pleasant.
As Agrias opened her eyes and saw a form standing in the tub in front of her, she reacted naturally.
Agrias let out a shrill shriek, closing her eyes as she ducked forwards into the water, her wet hair lashing out in front of her head, hitting the water as she hunched over helplessly, the towel she had grasped for now soaked in the water as she sought to cover herself immediately.
(How dare he!) Agrias thought, furious, embarrassed, and flustered?
As she raised her head, her body now sufficiently shielded as she bunched up the towel in the water in front of her, Agrias saw who she was about to berate.
(I hate myself. . .) Agrias thought as she stared up at a confused Ovelia who began to giggle, understanding the joke that Agrias had just been a victim of.
Defeated, Agrias pulled the soaked towel out of the water and wrung it, all the while staring at her two subordinates, being deliberate in the way she wrung out the towel as she raked them with her angry glare.
Which was ignored as both women laughed.
"I can't believe you tried that!" Alicia exclaimed towards her partner, who was giggling, a rosy smile on her cheeks. "I don't think I've ever seen her like that before!"
Agrias wanted to smash her forehead onto the lip of her tub -no, (after I smash their faces in first,) Agrias amended.
Even Ovelia laughed as she stepped back into her tub, the extra toiletries she had retrieved -the reason she had gone out and back- floating in a pail besides the princess.
The Holy Knight tried to piece back her dignity, but found that she couldn't at the scene of the crime, her sanctuary now defiled by her shame at being fooled in such a manner.
She knew that she was taking it out of proportion, but Agrias also realized that for the rest of the night, she would be fodder for their entertainment, and she would rather try to regain her peace elsewhere, where she would be more aware of her environment.
Hurriedly, Agrias rose out of her tub. "I'm done now. I'll see you all in our room," she told them, her irritation failing to be kept out of her voice. She was all too conscious of the knowing stares the three other females gave her. Wrapping the soaking towel around herself, Agrias tried to muster as much dignity as she could as she made her tactical retreat to the place where they had deposited all their possessions.
Thinking about it, Agrias decided on changing in their room. The less time spent here, the better, the less humiliation. To everyone's benefit, no one laughed, which would have just provoked Agrias even more. Switching out for a fresh, dry towel, Agrias clutched her belongings to her as she left the bathing chamber.
Since Agrias was busily listening and looking back to hear if they would start making fun of her openly now that she was gone, she did not see Ramza as she ran into him in the hallway.
For better or for worse, he kept her from falling over as he reached his arms around her shoulders to steady her in a light embrace. As the cold in his touch rapidly became warm, so did Agrias stiffen immediately and then relax in his grip.
Then the sexual tension came in for the both of them.
***
Reluctantly, Agrias could tell, Ramza released her as they both took a moment to stare at the other.
"I heard you scream. . ." Ramza told her gently, and she was surprised that it wasn't in an apologetic tone, even if it was a weak reason. "Forget I asked," he followed up quickly, in a plain tone, one that hinted at understanding and acceptance of the inexplicable.
Even if he was indirectly what caused the incident, Agrias was grateful. She was amazed that he could understand so much, but ask for so little. (How he understands, I don't know. . .) Agrias thought, just letting things be as she wondered what he would do now.
It was at this point that Agrias noticed Ramza's state of dress, or rather, undress. In front of her, she could see Ramza's pale skin, and she could see the marked difference of the color of his face from the rest of his body, a side effect of wearing so much armor and having his face the only part of his body exposed in a regular basis. She could sympathize, as she herself had realized how pale her own skin had become.
(Never mind that. . .) Agrias mind wandered as she unwittingly began to gawk. Ramza's body was plain, and as she had guessed, he was lean, not brawny. With his almost scrawny build, Agrias wondered how he could do half of what he had demonstrated. Gone was any baby fat Ramza may have had once upon a time, replaced by nothing on his slender frame. (Pretty boy?) was what Agrias thought upon having the chance to see him like this, exposed, and alone.
The way some of the water that remained on him glistened. . .
Agrias checked her own mouth as she had to consciously think about bringing her jaw up from where it hung slack. Ramza did not sport visible abdominals, and Agrias wondered, what true man did? From what she knew of the male race, they were slovenly, lazy, and most detestably: horny. Instead of a sculpted abdomen, Ramza had a soft curve for a stomach, representing the small amount of excess fat that he had. Agrias found herself even more attracted by that feature.
As her eyes hungrily traced over the rim over the seductive roll that was the hem of the purple towel Ramza wore, she caught herself and realized what she had been doing.
Guiltily seeking eye contact with Ramza as if to challenge him, to accuse him of accusing her, of tempting her, of seducing her, Agrias was the one that felt compelled to break, to submit, to accept whatever terms Ramza laid down. Embarassed, knew that he had been watching her eyes the entire time. It wasn't him that was ogling the other's body, but her, a Holy Knight!
She knew him enough that she was confident that he wouldn't say anything. Somehow though, the welcoming expression on his face was more dangerous to her than any jocular remark or tease.
Already shorter than her, Ramza lowered his knees as he stared up into her eyes, closing the distance between them. Agrias wondered at what she would do, beginning to lose control of her body as he moved ever so closer. Panic, hope, rejection, and acceptance warred within her as aspects of her personality began to draw up lines, dividing her.
"Are you done?" she asked him, breaking the moment, and hating herself for it as some of the light went out in his eyes.
Standing upright, Ramza again held her gaze with his own, and Agrias wanted nothing more than to step into those portals to the soul. He shook his head in the negative, and Agrias wondered what it was he meant.
Before she could get a chance to ask him what he meant by that answer, Ramza gave her a sad smile before turning around and beginning to walk away.
The abruptness that Ramza, of all people, chose to break contact left Agrias hanging, confused. Almost immediately, a stray drop of water ran down his left shoulderblade, following the path of his spine, being absorbed by Ramza's purple towel as her eyes keenly traced its route.
The purple-covered curves that her eyes encountered upon wandering down stirred something once more within Agrias as she watched him enter the men's bath.
"Ramza. . ." she murmured.
"Will you wait for me?" Ramza asked her, presumably for her to wait while he changed, but Agrias wondered, with all these subtleties, what else did he imply?
"I'll be in our room. . ." Agrias hurriedly told him as she readied herself to leave. She felt guilt as she saw Ramza bow his head lightly, closing his eyes for a moment, before nodding his acceptance.
Then, as he stepped within the threshold of the men's bath, he was gone, and Agrias was left there, confused, having been struck with was obvious, subtle, confused, and in denial.
A small part of her was angry at Ramza for pressuring her like this, but another was even angrier at herself for dancing around him in this manner. What was between them was by every moment growing less of a mystery and becoming more of something to be denied, not pondered about.
Settling herself down, Agrias began to walk down the corridor, remembering the path to their room. "Ramza, what do you want of me?" she asked herself," . . . and what do I want of you?"
All that was in Agrias' mind now was what might, would, or will happen between them. That, and the image of Ramza's derriere.
***
Quickly, Agrias had secured their rooms. Safe it was, but she could not shake the compulsion to perform a check for intruders, even if the only armor she wore was a dark purple towel that had caught her attention in the baths. Something about the noble color seemed familiar and attractive. Even after dyes had been invented, the symbolism of the color had yet to fade. Its glory faded as she spotted Ramza's own beaten breastplate laid against the wall on the floor, and the memory of his cloth-veiled derriere. . .
There would only be one intruder in the room, and Agrias knew who he was.
A headache began to form as her mind started to deny what her thoughts said about Ramza that wasn't platonic in nature. Knowing that Ramza would not be far in following, whether he was still on the way, or he had found something to do -(Eat, maybe?) Agrias wondered, she began to hurriedly change.
The dusty smell of her second set of clothing -untouched since she had never taken enough time to obtain a change of clothes, was ignored as Agrias hurriedly slipped on a worn tunic. The white of the cloth had long since faded, and Agrias paid no attention to that, not wanting to find any symbolism in the tarnishing of a color that represented purity, especially in reference to her. She spent too much time obsession about duty and protocol, and the less she had of it in the miniscule personal life she allowed herself to possess, the better.
(Hypocrite,) she dully accused herself as she put on a pair of pants. Fresh and clean now, however, the taint of her thoughts made Agrias grow uncomfortable, even after the invigorating bath she had taken.
The damp patches of her skin uncovered by cloth made her shiver, and Agrias picked up the purple towel, dabbing it gently over her skin, enjoying the comfort she drew from it. Leaning her head forward, Agrias gathered her damp dirty-blond locks onto the towel and wrapped it as best as she could. It would take forever to dry, and the purpose of dry clothing would be defeated if she allowed it to drip onto her.
Knowing she looked awkward, Agrias took the time to take the towel and wrap it in around her head to cover her hair, giving her a coiffure of violet.
Even with the tension that bothered her, Agrias felt good. That changed once she felt his presence approaching. Quiet, comforting, undeniable was what Agrias would have described it as, feeling out for her angelic dichotomy.
"Come in, Ramza," she told him before on the other side of the wooden door Ramza could even knock.
Properly clothed now, Agrias had no problem staring at the boy.
"Beautiful," Ramza told her plainly, charming her without meaning to, taking away what it was she would say next.
Telling herself to live for the moment, Agrias went forwards and welcomed them into her suite -their suite. (In the initiative lies comfort. . .) she thought again.
***
***Author's Notes***
What to say, what to say, ah yes, I succumbed to the 'urge' and I wrote a bath scene involving the girls. It wasn't too gratuitous, nor was it meant to be. Its not as if I expected them to be playing around or anything. . . *cough*
I can't help but think I ruined the scene by bringing in the semi- confrontation between Agrias and Ramza.
It's a consequence of leaving so many things unsaid, and relying too much on subtleties. The system will be abused when people begin to misinterpret or willfully ignore what is going on around them.
Don't think of it as a danger sign (well, it is, but it isn't a heralding of the Apocalypse), but it is an aspect of their budding relationship that these two, Ramza and Agrias (both are guilty) much accept and ultimately, accommodate or solve.
Or, in a nutshell, Agrias had a hormone rush, and the fact that Ramza doesn't just want to sleep with her, but actually wants her as a lifelong mate is more threatening since THAT is harder to dismiss than lust alone. It also doesn't help that everyone else (Alicia, Lavian, and Ovelia) around her is pushing Agrias towards Ramza, as opposed to letting her build up the determination herself.
Plus, in case it hasn't been shown, Ramza is demonstrating signs of being passive-aggressive (the one where a person says "Oh, I wish we could do that" but they imply "You WILL do that. . .").
Isn't lack of subtlety unentertaining?
If this scene frustrated you, well, buckle up, for the next two-three will probably be similar.
I have to say this, as a guy, its REALLY uncomfortable writing something alluring about another guy. Yeah, it was awkward to write half that stuff about Ramza.
Oh well, at least it made up for the pseudo-Agrias fanservice.
More than made up for it. . . *shudder*
***Author's Notes***
***Reader's Response Corner***
Um, well, first thing's first - I'm a 17-year old male living in the Bay Area. Now that I've disappointed everyone, moving on. . .
Thanks for noticing the subtleties and other things that I try to infuse into my writing. Half the time I think I mess it up or make it too blatant, but others I think no one ever catches anything (rather, no one ever tells me).
One of the things that I think is one of the best aspects of writing is when I have a chance to put in 'all the small things.' To me, that's what makes or breaks a story as simply good to absolutely awesome. Minor details, and most of all, insignificant events and activities that don't need to have bearing on the plot, something that simply shows how the characters are.
Fine, if that means taking all the action out of the story, its something I won't miss.
I would rather write a scene about Ramza and Agrias sitting in a path of grass, holding hands, just talking to each other about random things that are happening in their lives than a piece where somehow both of them are at the forefront, deciding behind the scenes what'll become of Ivalice; even though that technically WAS the underlying plot of FFT. . . oops.
TWH? Wait, TeknosWarHammer? I remember reading a Kiyone piece of yours once upon a time @ the TMFFA. Wow, a veteran author stumbled into this. And you think my stuff is actually that good? That just made my day.
It's a pain to make battle scenes, since they require so much detail to write, and one has to stay away from choreographing the fight or making it cliché, another reason I enjoy writing the small things; the pieces between characters where the rest of the world could burn as far as the participants are concerned.
Oddly enough, I thought I've already done the scenes you said that I should implement. . . well, yeah, it might be a while they, or more to the point, Agrias will be open about the relationship they are beginning to have, and from then on how it will progress.
Oh, and Ilvanaeda (sorry, I'm working from memory here, and I've lost internet access for my word processing machine), just keep at it. The stuff you write do have some problems that I can see, for example, they are far too short and short stories need a heavy impact hammer (as in a lesson, moral, theme, or just MOMENT) to make their impression in the short time they have. Also, the stuff just seems a little too pedestrian: a little plain, too surface level, in other words, there's nothing there to make readers stop and think.
I guess I'm coming down hard on you, but from the wording of your reviews, it sounded as if you wanted me to critique your own works.
As to the Miluda scene, it is something I intent to cover, and Ramza'll be spending more than enough time at Lionel Castle for the subject to be broached.
Kanemi, thanks for taking the effort to e-mail me. As to why I chose to portray Ramza in the way I have, well, to make him a solid character with no flaws and one who lets nothing faze him (truly, not just presenting an external appearance), would be making him too perfect. With all that's heaped upon him, the loss of Delita and the loss of Teta, as well as total disillusionment with the social system beginning with the first encounter with Miluda, to the betrayal of him by his brothers, and finally, the truth behind St. Ajora, Ramza is going to be torn apart.
Alicia and Lavian call him a wuss because they are saying what they are seeing. Ramza never seemed like a badass character, and even in the beginning, he was only a spoiled brat with a sword at worst. What do you think seasoned soldiers are going to think of a boy who seems too timid and nice to be a hardened mercenary in Gafgarion's company?
I write Ramza how I perceive a person who acted like he has in the game would be should we be able to read more into his thoughts and actions. I also added in faults and quirks that I believe must be in a person like him. Everyone has their way of dealing with life's hardships, and a lot of Ramza's 'flaws' (I call them 'features') reside therein.
Considering your other point, anyone is welcome to be my pre-reader. The only thing is, I've learned to work independently of others, and I tend to post as soon as I am done writing (don't take offense if I post before addressing your comments). If you want, I can put you on a mailing list where every now and then I post what I've gotten done thus far; you are more than welcome to comment and criticize on these sections before I can post them. I've done re-posts on my story before, so there's precedent. Even if it boils down to you being able to see half a scene a week or two before the rest is posted, hey, you're more than welcome to ask me.
Hm, another thing, I AM a biased author. As a person, I have opinions, and I know I cannot keep them all in check and they are bound to filter into my writing. If you are good at reading people and their actions, I'm sure you can spot my personality traits and where the biases are in my writing. Still, I enjoy playing Devil's Advocate, and there are few things more entertaining and intellectually stimulating than to see a situation from as many as one can, and to have the ability to argue these points as if they were your own convictions.
Yeah, I guess Alicia and Lavian are beginning to pick up their own fan base ^_^.
Hm, right now, what do you think of the rate that Agrias and Ramza are driving towards each other at? Right now their natures seem to have clashed against each other, with Ramza trying to approach Agrias whilst she isn't sure just how much she wants to pursue a relationship with him.
***Reader's Response Corner***
***Miscellaneous***
I've thought about including songs in this fic. . . contemporary songs. I'm too uncultivated to know of any medieval / Romanesque songs, ballads, poetry, or epics that can relate (in somewhat of a literal fashion) to D.C.T.R. (the acronym for the story).
I've done SongScenes before, and what I've always done is actually incorporate lyrics as dialogue, trying to make the narration (description of actions) and the actual 'singing' flow together. I consider it a cop- out to simply copy & paste lyrics; where's the effort?
Candidates:
*Goo-Goo Dolls - Iris (the acoustic version - it sounds simpler than the original)
Almost all the lyrics match, and the religous allusions are nice, even if I have to well, warp them into the entire Excommunication/Heresy aspect of the story as applies to Ramza.
*Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment (its a little too modern, but somehow I'll see if I can make it fit)
Well, pretty self-explanatory, a lot of the lyrics match, and the near-desperate, lost mood (the guy sounds like he's just brought up the courage to tell the girl he likes). It'll only be part of the song though, it repeats far too much.
*Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want (Just take away all the instrumentals and of course, Ramza's proposed lighter voice)
Ramza isn't singing this to Agrias in person, but it will be Agrias' mental representation of him talking to her in her thoughts.
While that may seem like a pre-excuse for OOC, well, um. . . *cough* yeah. . . about that.
*Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid (Agrias needs a song to sing. . .)
Really OOC, but the basic statements are just perfect as applies to Agrias and her thoughts on Ramza. Well, it sort of describes a lot of women, or should I just stop digging myself a hole right now?
Purple Chocobos: (The unlikely contenders)
*Weezer - Butterfly (Agrias, butterfly, see the reference? Long-shot though, especially since I draw all the wrong impressions from this song - rape implied?)
*Three Doors Down - Here Without You (Just imagine a softer, less masculine and country-ish voice singing it)
One of those songs Ramza sings to himself. . .
*Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
Yeah, its one of the unlikelies. I just think its because I like the song so much. A lot of the stuff delved into this just doesn't seem to fit. Then again, its Agrias' favorite tragic word. . .
Agrias loses allegiance to the Church and all of her shields finally collapse in on herself. . . maybe, but then again, that's going too far ahead into the story.
***
I can tell just now that regardless which songs I select (there is no minimum or maximum) there will have to be some lyric editing. Not only do I steal their work, but I butcher it as well. . . uh-oh.
It seems tempting just to slap as many Goo Goo Dolls song into the D.C.T.R. Soundtrack. . . Who knows, I might go back and search through the 'older' material (come on, I was born in eighty-six). There has to be some non-cliched retro out there, but then again, I don't think Aretha Franklin's voice would fit Agrias' body. . .
Thoughts?
***Miscellaneous***
***Postscript***
Yeah, it looks as if 1/3rd of the new scene is actually Author's Notes-style material. Oh well. . . being sick for a while just gave me the ability to sit back and think, not focus enough and work.
One more thing. . . I'm just thinking how different the scene would've if Agrias had access to a sword at the time of the 'Hi Ramza' incident. . .
***Postscript***
Pardon the shortness of this scene (a chunk of this is actual Author's Notes material. . .), and especially over the length of time (two- three weeks?) but with a headache from a fever-cold, I could not write.
So I wrote it in separate bursts, which might explain a mood swing or two (of plot, not of characters).
***Author's Notes***
***
Chapter 02-09 "Ablutions" v.1.0 (Chapter Two: The Manipulator and the Subservient, Scene 09)
***Lionel Castle***
The cardinal was kind enough to show them to their quarters personally. The conversation on the walk through the keep's corridors was trite, polite nothings that danced around the main issues.
"Highness, I believe we can discuss your state visit before noon tomorrow," he told Ovelia, "would that be acceptable?"
Politely, Ovelia nodded, herself feeling inadequate before the plain dignity Draclau emanated. "The chance to rest is appreciated," she told him, feeling the caked sweat on her face crack as she smiled wearily.
Silently, Ramza, Alicia, Lavian, and lastly Mustadio just watched as the two talked.
"I shall see just how pleasant I can make your retreat here. . ." Draclau then excused himself as he addressed Agrias. "There will be servants posted outside your quarters," he told her, "but your privacy will not be intruded upon."
(Translation,) Agrias thought, (we'll be protected but they'll be leaving us alone.) "Milord," she replied simply as she bowed.
Giving them a small nod, the cardinal walked away alone.
Agrias felt lighter now, more and more of her burden being lifted away. (I need to unwind. . .) she thought, as she entered the room before Ovelia, as if to examine the room, even if there was little point in 'preparing the way' into their suite.
The suite was large, to say the least. Cozy as well. The chill that would have permeated a room with stone walls was minimized by tapestries like at Zaland; these were also landscapes, but more elaborate. The stone floor was homely, with cloth rugs covering most of the floor's surface. The furniture was humble, but it was still there, unfinished, but the craftsmanship superb. The front room they were in was open, with tables and their chair set up along the walls.
"At last, huh?" Alicia spoke up.
"Yes, quite. . ." Ovelia agreed, pleased.
***
Taking the initiative, Ramza had gone to the stables, taking Alicia and Lavian with him to make sure that their cargo was properly looked after and delivered. They were to direct the porters as to what to bring to their quarters. Mustadio tagged along.
Meanwhile, Agrias and Ovelia were alone in the suite, having nothing better to do. The tedium that was rest was incredible to Agrias. Now that she wasn't constantly thinking about anything, the lack of crisis and damage control was amazing. Agrias had already removed her armor, padding around barefoot and clad in her linen pants and tunic. Without her metal second skin, Agrias felt light again.
(Wonder if my body's changed. . .) Agrias worried, remembering just the small discomfort she had with her armor as of late, besides the obvious penetration thereof. (I've been in constant action, and I'm thinking I've gotten fat?) Agrias realized, feeling silly. (Maybe I'll ask Ramza again. . .) she thought playfully, and Agrias noticed one more thing about herself: in the initiative lied comfort, a fact she did not appreciate.
Ovelia was still stuck in her monastery robes, already stained a light beige by the dirt they had tracked on the ride here. It was obvious that she was eager to change into a fresh set of clothing.
"He only gave us two bedrooms. . ." Ovelia remarked as Agrias and her went exploring their temporary home away from Lesalia or the monastery.
Agrias blinked. The entry room lead into a bedroom, which lead to another bedroom; where Agrias and Ovelia would set up camp. The first bedroom would again serve as the buffer.
"I wonder where Mr. Ruglia will stay?" Ovelia pondered
"Oh. . ." Agrias said simply, confused. "With Mustadio, I guess."
"I didn't remember the cardinal giving showing those two to their room, only ours. . ."
***
"Ah. . ." Ramza murmured after being asked where he will spend the night. Mustadio shrugged likewise, ignorant.
"There's only two rooms," Agrias said uncomfortably, as if she was making an excuse. The stares of the three other females in the room were making her very self-conscious.
She was disappointed when Ramza failed to look crestfallen.
"I'll go ask around and see if they have a spare bunk or cot somewhere," Ramza told her, a small smile on his face.
"Will you be okay?" Agrias asked, wondering, and she winced as her words left her. (Obvious. . .) she told herself.
"Don't worry," Ramza assured her. "I can always sleep in the stables."
Before the women in the room could turn their attention to him, Mustadio opted to say, "I'll stay in the library! I'm sure the study's open. . ." he remarked loudly in haste. Without waiting for any replies, Mustadio hurriedly left the room.
Alicia groaned as Lavian tried to become inconspicuous by going to the first bedroom with a small bundle of clothing in her arms. Lavian was dressed the same as Agrias, having shed her armor, while Alicia was still dressed as a chemist woman.
Ovelia came into the conversation with an almost indignant voice. "For all you've been through for us, Mr. Ruglia," she addressed him, "I would not mind if you continued to protect us," she stressed, "by being a sleeping sentinel in this room," she indicated. Then she turned her attention to Agrias. "Wouldn't you agree?" she asked gently.
Fighting the stammer that was coming on, Agrias brusquely nodded. "Yes, the cardinal's people shouldn't be bothered by something like this. . ." she looked at Ramza guiltily. "We've spent enough time in the field. . . together. . ."
Blinking, Ramza just nodded. "Thank you Agrias," he paused, "and your highness."
Ovelia suppressed a sigh. "Even though I know you won't, please, my given name is Ovelia," she pointed out, knowing that no one would break that piece of protocol.
"About Mustadio. . ." Ramza brought up, doubtful if he should see how far the womenfolk's hospitality extended.
"He 'found' something for himself," Alicia remarked drily, obviously leaving something unsaid. "Let's get Ramza set up," she declared, looking at Agrias. "I don't think there're any cots to spare though."
"The floor will be fine," Ramza absentmindedly replied, wondering what was going on around him.
"Not until we get some blankets for you first," Agrias threw out unthinkingly. She was surprised when no one except Ramza seemed to notice her outburst.
"Sor-" he began, but cut himself off as he saw her glare. "Um. . . I didn't bring much with me, all I have to do to prepare is to get out of my armor."
"This I want to see," Ovelia brought up, the innocent tone she tried to portray spoiled the playful undertone her remark possessed.
Knowing she stood a good chance of being teased, Agrias stepped up to Ramza and giving her an understanding smile, they began the process of removing the plating he wore.
It didn't help that Alicia hooted as Ovelia giggled, which made Agrias blush, while Ramza did the best he can to look unaffected.
Through the embarrassment Agrias enjoyed it.
***
Again, their room had no window, located in the inner core of the keep. Agrias missed the view more than she detested the night's chill. (Stuffy. . .) was what Agrias thought, summarizing her opinion of their quarters.
"Is there anything to do?" Alicia impatiently inquired.
"Town leave?" Ramza offered softly, a pleasant expression on his face.
Lavian shrugged. "It feels too long since the last time. . . the Imperial City I think."
"Not as if I have anyone to support with my pay. . ." Alicia let out sullenly, before changing the subject. "Dame Agrias? Would it be all right if we. . ."
"If you can find something to do," Agrias told them. She trusted them to take care of themselves.
"Ramza," Alicia continued, "wanna come with?"
Clad in his faded gray tunic and dark blue pants, Ramza stood. He shrugged. "To a point." He raised his forearm to his nose and made a slight sniff to make a statement. "Until we stumble into a place where we can bathe."
"We?" Lavian brought up, the demure façade trying to hide a smile.
Ramza was smart enough to say nothing as his mouth dropped.
"Ma'am," Alicia addressed Agrias again. "Maybe you should come along too." The two were enjoying trying to draw a reaction from either Ramza or Agrias.
Though assailants weren't her main worry at this point, Agrias hesitated. Ramza kept quiet, apprehensive.
"Not to put too fine a point on it. . ." Lavian began to advocate.
"We reek," Alicia finished.
Agrias chose to make no arguments as Ovelia herself carefully took a whiff of one of her robe's sleeves, the sour frown leaving no room for interpretation.
***
Agrias refrained from clucking as Ramza lead the way through the corridors. She didn't want to allude his actions to that of an eager child, but the nature of them was pure male if she ever saw it. If it wasn't for the fact he actually asked directions from servants and soldiers he met in the halls, Ramza would have fit the stereotype perfectly. (At least he has hope), Agrias thought.
She shivered. The women had brought change of clothing, but no indoor footwear; they all had worn boots. Thus, Ramza included, everyone padded around barefoot. While Ramza and Lavian simply walked at an even pace, Agrias and the others cut a funny show as they tried hopping from carpet strip to carpet strip.
The baths were actually baths. Agrias found something very intriguing about them as well. They were segregated. By that, they seemed to be fit for their specific customer, well, from what Agrias saw of the chamber made for the 'fairer' sex.
There wasn't a collective pool of any kind, but instead, a series of tubs recessed into the stone floors. (So I only have to drag myself out of the tub and onto the floor instead of falling into it,) Agrias pondered, amused, liking the feature. Following Ovelia and the other women, Agrias deposited her fresh clothing at the common area -the dry zone. She had been in baths like this before - but only in Ivalice's capital in Lesalia. Normally, she was content to take a bath in whatever clean-looking stream she found, but the pursuit and then the retreat gave her no solid opportunity.
Now that she thought about it, Agrias felt as if she was wearing a second skin, the accumulation of sweat, grime, and dust from days in the field. She found it annoying that it was only uncomfortable now that she had the time to think about such things. (But I felt so fresh that night in Dorter. . .) Agrias thought, thinking back to the desperate day where the pursuit began.
As soon as she stepped onto the rough, moist, and warmed tiles, Agrias curled her toes, luxuriating in the feel. The room was actually warm, and she thought that there was actually staff underneath them who had fires going to do so. There was the hint of steam in the indoor well, where everyone would pail water to their own baths.
Nodding at Alicia and Lavian, the Knights of St. Konoe went on water- lugging duty for the princess' bath. Ovelia knew that there was little point in stopping them; instead the princess opted to fetch several soaps and bathing stones -pebbles smoothed by river currents- to distribute among their four tubs; as they served her, she would serve them.
The pitching effort was sloppy as the three women hurried, some water spilling out of the metal pails; even wet, the rough texture of the floor kept any of them from slipping.
Once finished with Ovelia's tub, the knights continued on to fill each others' respective tubs. None of them were surprised that Ovelia simply reclined on her side, waiting for them to finish before she would get into her basin.
All through this, not a word had been said, everyone finding a role to fulfill and following it. A moment of synchronization to fulfill a common purpose -even if it was an insignificant matter that suited the mood: camaraderie. That and they hadn't bathed for almost a week.
***
Disrobed, Agrias sat on the stone floor, her legs in a butterfly, finally having a chance to examine how that part of her body had held up. (Ha! So I didn't fatten up!) Agrias thought, a shallow thought to play down her true fears of wounds that had not been spotted, permanent mutilations upon her form. Even as a woman of the sword and to a degree: the cloth, Agrias valued her appearance. Anyone she's ever met that's claimed otherwise was a liar, through-and-through.
She always wondered why of men and women in the field, men grew the most gaunt while women always retained their characteristic curves. Or in other words, why women always kept the most fat.
Agrias was pleased with that. She was active enough that her body consumed enough energy to keep her trim. Her muscle mass had grown stronger, but not larger, another fact that pleased her. More or less her body had not changed for several years now, and Agrias wanted that trend to continue.
(Clean. . .) Agrias thought, admiring her thigh where it met her knee. She had been bathing for several minutes now, enjoying the change in temperature, within and without. Initially, the water had been chill, but as the unseen miracle workers increased the heat being applied from beneath, the temperature of the tubs rose. Agrias had ignored the soap, letting herself soak as she let her mind roam free. Even the sensation of the water traveling up from her sunken hair to soak her scalp was extraordinary.
Resting her head on a towel she was using as a pillow set at one end of her tub, Agrias turned her gaze to the side to see Alicia and Lavian to her left, each in their respective tubs. She wasn't surprised to see that both were overflowing with soap bubbles; a mass of suds that continued to grow, beginning to spill over the smooth lips of their respective tubs, creating a slippery field of lather between Alicia and Lavian.
Letting them have their fun was one thing, but letting them act like children? The question was one Agrias threw around for a few moments, as she basked in the absence of the overwhelming feeling of responsibility, cascading consequences, all of which had borne down against her. What amazed Agrias was that all such burdens was something she had placed upon herself; regardless how responsible she felt, Agrias knew, the consequences would've been the same, and she knew that such worries would never have had an effect on her conduct.
Agrias let her attention wander back to her body again. She was thankful that the warm water acted as if it had its own scent, smothering everyone's collected 'aroma' from their time spent traveling. That, or such a simple substance truly did cleanse everything so well. Playfully, Agrias cupped water in both of her hands on either side of her, and she poured them as they dripped out of her grasp onto her thighs and knees.
Setting aside self-consciousness, Agrias laughed out loud. She continued to lay in her tub, reclined, her knees bent, most of her weight on her rump and her shoulders from where they touched the tub. Freely her calves kicked lightly -playfully, across the water, her wriggling in the sensation of the mild current of resistance that she was causing. (All the small things. . .) Agrias luxuriated in, finding it almost a struggle just to peek an eye open after she had shut them in satisfaction. Seeing that Ovelia was taking care of herself, Agrias went back to herself, enjoying nothing and everything.
***
Playfully, Agrias mentally chased after some terms that would do justice to what she was experiencing right now. Catharsis had occurred when they had reached this castle, and Agrias now rode it down. Lazily, Agrias raised her left arm out of the water to her elbow. Curiously, she held it to her face and scratched with her right hand. She was a little disgusted by the layer of black dirt scraped away by her nails, but Agrias had expected it. Soap performed wonders, but given time, water could accomplish most the same miracles. Still, she was fascinated at how she was able to clean herself this way.
Contentment rang through her mind, and Agrias found it an apt word. She sought others that had brought similar thoughts and feelings to her mind.
"Ramza," Lavian said pleasantly.
The word triggered those very thoughts and feelings in Agrias, or did so until recognition of what the word -the name- implied and meant solidified in her mind.
"Oh, hi there," Agrias heard Alicia remark.
Agrias only took a moment to blink before she panicked. Factual statements flashed in her mind in reference to the moment. (I am naked in the women's bath.) (Ramza is in the women's bath.) (Ramza is in the women's bath when I am naked.) The three points agreed in a manner -put lightly, that Agrias did not find pleasant.
As Agrias opened her eyes and saw a form standing in the tub in front of her, she reacted naturally.
Agrias let out a shrill shriek, closing her eyes as she ducked forwards into the water, her wet hair lashing out in front of her head, hitting the water as she hunched over helplessly, the towel she had grasped for now soaked in the water as she sought to cover herself immediately.
(How dare he!) Agrias thought, furious, embarrassed, and flustered?
As she raised her head, her body now sufficiently shielded as she bunched up the towel in the water in front of her, Agrias saw who she was about to berate.
(I hate myself. . .) Agrias thought as she stared up at a confused Ovelia who began to giggle, understanding the joke that Agrias had just been a victim of.
Defeated, Agrias pulled the soaked towel out of the water and wrung it, all the while staring at her two subordinates, being deliberate in the way she wrung out the towel as she raked them with her angry glare.
Which was ignored as both women laughed.
"I can't believe you tried that!" Alicia exclaimed towards her partner, who was giggling, a rosy smile on her cheeks. "I don't think I've ever seen her like that before!"
Agrias wanted to smash her forehead onto the lip of her tub -no, (after I smash their faces in first,) Agrias amended.
Even Ovelia laughed as she stepped back into her tub, the extra toiletries she had retrieved -the reason she had gone out and back- floating in a pail besides the princess.
The Holy Knight tried to piece back her dignity, but found that she couldn't at the scene of the crime, her sanctuary now defiled by her shame at being fooled in such a manner.
She knew that she was taking it out of proportion, but Agrias also realized that for the rest of the night, she would be fodder for their entertainment, and she would rather try to regain her peace elsewhere, where she would be more aware of her environment.
Hurriedly, Agrias rose out of her tub. "I'm done now. I'll see you all in our room," she told them, her irritation failing to be kept out of her voice. She was all too conscious of the knowing stares the three other females gave her. Wrapping the soaking towel around herself, Agrias tried to muster as much dignity as she could as she made her tactical retreat to the place where they had deposited all their possessions.
Thinking about it, Agrias decided on changing in their room. The less time spent here, the better, the less humiliation. To everyone's benefit, no one laughed, which would have just provoked Agrias even more. Switching out for a fresh, dry towel, Agrias clutched her belongings to her as she left the bathing chamber.
Since Agrias was busily listening and looking back to hear if they would start making fun of her openly now that she was gone, she did not see Ramza as she ran into him in the hallway.
For better or for worse, he kept her from falling over as he reached his arms around her shoulders to steady her in a light embrace. As the cold in his touch rapidly became warm, so did Agrias stiffen immediately and then relax in his grip.
Then the sexual tension came in for the both of them.
***
Reluctantly, Agrias could tell, Ramza released her as they both took a moment to stare at the other.
"I heard you scream. . ." Ramza told her gently, and she was surprised that it wasn't in an apologetic tone, even if it was a weak reason. "Forget I asked," he followed up quickly, in a plain tone, one that hinted at understanding and acceptance of the inexplicable.
Even if he was indirectly what caused the incident, Agrias was grateful. She was amazed that he could understand so much, but ask for so little. (How he understands, I don't know. . .) Agrias thought, just letting things be as she wondered what he would do now.
It was at this point that Agrias noticed Ramza's state of dress, or rather, undress. In front of her, she could see Ramza's pale skin, and she could see the marked difference of the color of his face from the rest of his body, a side effect of wearing so much armor and having his face the only part of his body exposed in a regular basis. She could sympathize, as she herself had realized how pale her own skin had become.
(Never mind that. . .) Agrias mind wandered as she unwittingly began to gawk. Ramza's body was plain, and as she had guessed, he was lean, not brawny. With his almost scrawny build, Agrias wondered how he could do half of what he had demonstrated. Gone was any baby fat Ramza may have had once upon a time, replaced by nothing on his slender frame. (Pretty boy?) was what Agrias thought upon having the chance to see him like this, exposed, and alone.
The way some of the water that remained on him glistened. . .
Agrias checked her own mouth as she had to consciously think about bringing her jaw up from where it hung slack. Ramza did not sport visible abdominals, and Agrias wondered, what true man did? From what she knew of the male race, they were slovenly, lazy, and most detestably: horny. Instead of a sculpted abdomen, Ramza had a soft curve for a stomach, representing the small amount of excess fat that he had. Agrias found herself even more attracted by that feature.
As her eyes hungrily traced over the rim over the seductive roll that was the hem of the purple towel Ramza wore, she caught herself and realized what she had been doing.
Guiltily seeking eye contact with Ramza as if to challenge him, to accuse him of accusing her, of tempting her, of seducing her, Agrias was the one that felt compelled to break, to submit, to accept whatever terms Ramza laid down. Embarassed, knew that he had been watching her eyes the entire time. It wasn't him that was ogling the other's body, but her, a Holy Knight!
She knew him enough that she was confident that he wouldn't say anything. Somehow though, the welcoming expression on his face was more dangerous to her than any jocular remark or tease.
Already shorter than her, Ramza lowered his knees as he stared up into her eyes, closing the distance between them. Agrias wondered at what she would do, beginning to lose control of her body as he moved ever so closer. Panic, hope, rejection, and acceptance warred within her as aspects of her personality began to draw up lines, dividing her.
"Are you done?" she asked him, breaking the moment, and hating herself for it as some of the light went out in his eyes.
Standing upright, Ramza again held her gaze with his own, and Agrias wanted nothing more than to step into those portals to the soul. He shook his head in the negative, and Agrias wondered what it was he meant.
Before she could get a chance to ask him what he meant by that answer, Ramza gave her a sad smile before turning around and beginning to walk away.
The abruptness that Ramza, of all people, chose to break contact left Agrias hanging, confused. Almost immediately, a stray drop of water ran down his left shoulderblade, following the path of his spine, being absorbed by Ramza's purple towel as her eyes keenly traced its route.
The purple-covered curves that her eyes encountered upon wandering down stirred something once more within Agrias as she watched him enter the men's bath.
"Ramza. . ." she murmured.
"Will you wait for me?" Ramza asked her, presumably for her to wait while he changed, but Agrias wondered, with all these subtleties, what else did he imply?
"I'll be in our room. . ." Agrias hurriedly told him as she readied herself to leave. She felt guilt as she saw Ramza bow his head lightly, closing his eyes for a moment, before nodding his acceptance.
Then, as he stepped within the threshold of the men's bath, he was gone, and Agrias was left there, confused, having been struck with was obvious, subtle, confused, and in denial.
A small part of her was angry at Ramza for pressuring her like this, but another was even angrier at herself for dancing around him in this manner. What was between them was by every moment growing less of a mystery and becoming more of something to be denied, not pondered about.
Settling herself down, Agrias began to walk down the corridor, remembering the path to their room. "Ramza, what do you want of me?" she asked herself," . . . and what do I want of you?"
All that was in Agrias' mind now was what might, would, or will happen between them. That, and the image of Ramza's derriere.
***
Quickly, Agrias had secured their rooms. Safe it was, but she could not shake the compulsion to perform a check for intruders, even if the only armor she wore was a dark purple towel that had caught her attention in the baths. Something about the noble color seemed familiar and attractive. Even after dyes had been invented, the symbolism of the color had yet to fade. Its glory faded as she spotted Ramza's own beaten breastplate laid against the wall on the floor, and the memory of his cloth-veiled derriere. . .
There would only be one intruder in the room, and Agrias knew who he was.
A headache began to form as her mind started to deny what her thoughts said about Ramza that wasn't platonic in nature. Knowing that Ramza would not be far in following, whether he was still on the way, or he had found something to do -(Eat, maybe?) Agrias wondered, she began to hurriedly change.
The dusty smell of her second set of clothing -untouched since she had never taken enough time to obtain a change of clothes, was ignored as Agrias hurriedly slipped on a worn tunic. The white of the cloth had long since faded, and Agrias paid no attention to that, not wanting to find any symbolism in the tarnishing of a color that represented purity, especially in reference to her. She spent too much time obsession about duty and protocol, and the less she had of it in the miniscule personal life she allowed herself to possess, the better.
(Hypocrite,) she dully accused herself as she put on a pair of pants. Fresh and clean now, however, the taint of her thoughts made Agrias grow uncomfortable, even after the invigorating bath she had taken.
The damp patches of her skin uncovered by cloth made her shiver, and Agrias picked up the purple towel, dabbing it gently over her skin, enjoying the comfort she drew from it. Leaning her head forward, Agrias gathered her damp dirty-blond locks onto the towel and wrapped it as best as she could. It would take forever to dry, and the purpose of dry clothing would be defeated if she allowed it to drip onto her.
Knowing she looked awkward, Agrias took the time to take the towel and wrap it in around her head to cover her hair, giving her a coiffure of violet.
Even with the tension that bothered her, Agrias felt good. That changed once she felt his presence approaching. Quiet, comforting, undeniable was what Agrias would have described it as, feeling out for her angelic dichotomy.
"Come in, Ramza," she told him before on the other side of the wooden door Ramza could even knock.
Properly clothed now, Agrias had no problem staring at the boy.
"Beautiful," Ramza told her plainly, charming her without meaning to, taking away what it was she would say next.
Telling herself to live for the moment, Agrias went forwards and welcomed them into her suite -their suite. (In the initiative lies comfort. . .) she thought again.
***
***Author's Notes***
What to say, what to say, ah yes, I succumbed to the 'urge' and I wrote a bath scene involving the girls. It wasn't too gratuitous, nor was it meant to be. Its not as if I expected them to be playing around or anything. . . *cough*
I can't help but think I ruined the scene by bringing in the semi- confrontation between Agrias and Ramza.
It's a consequence of leaving so many things unsaid, and relying too much on subtleties. The system will be abused when people begin to misinterpret or willfully ignore what is going on around them.
Don't think of it as a danger sign (well, it is, but it isn't a heralding of the Apocalypse), but it is an aspect of their budding relationship that these two, Ramza and Agrias (both are guilty) much accept and ultimately, accommodate or solve.
Or, in a nutshell, Agrias had a hormone rush, and the fact that Ramza doesn't just want to sleep with her, but actually wants her as a lifelong mate is more threatening since THAT is harder to dismiss than lust alone. It also doesn't help that everyone else (Alicia, Lavian, and Ovelia) around her is pushing Agrias towards Ramza, as opposed to letting her build up the determination herself.
Plus, in case it hasn't been shown, Ramza is demonstrating signs of being passive-aggressive (the one where a person says "Oh, I wish we could do that" but they imply "You WILL do that. . .").
Isn't lack of subtlety unentertaining?
If this scene frustrated you, well, buckle up, for the next two-three will probably be similar.
I have to say this, as a guy, its REALLY uncomfortable writing something alluring about another guy. Yeah, it was awkward to write half that stuff about Ramza.
Oh well, at least it made up for the pseudo-Agrias fanservice.
More than made up for it. . . *shudder*
***Author's Notes***
***Reader's Response Corner***
Um, well, first thing's first - I'm a 17-year old male living in the Bay Area. Now that I've disappointed everyone, moving on. . .
Thanks for noticing the subtleties and other things that I try to infuse into my writing. Half the time I think I mess it up or make it too blatant, but others I think no one ever catches anything (rather, no one ever tells me).
One of the things that I think is one of the best aspects of writing is when I have a chance to put in 'all the small things.' To me, that's what makes or breaks a story as simply good to absolutely awesome. Minor details, and most of all, insignificant events and activities that don't need to have bearing on the plot, something that simply shows how the characters are.
Fine, if that means taking all the action out of the story, its something I won't miss.
I would rather write a scene about Ramza and Agrias sitting in a path of grass, holding hands, just talking to each other about random things that are happening in their lives than a piece where somehow both of them are at the forefront, deciding behind the scenes what'll become of Ivalice; even though that technically WAS the underlying plot of FFT. . . oops.
TWH? Wait, TeknosWarHammer? I remember reading a Kiyone piece of yours once upon a time @ the TMFFA. Wow, a veteran author stumbled into this. And you think my stuff is actually that good? That just made my day.
It's a pain to make battle scenes, since they require so much detail to write, and one has to stay away from choreographing the fight or making it cliché, another reason I enjoy writing the small things; the pieces between characters where the rest of the world could burn as far as the participants are concerned.
Oddly enough, I thought I've already done the scenes you said that I should implement. . . well, yeah, it might be a while they, or more to the point, Agrias will be open about the relationship they are beginning to have, and from then on how it will progress.
Oh, and Ilvanaeda (sorry, I'm working from memory here, and I've lost internet access for my word processing machine), just keep at it. The stuff you write do have some problems that I can see, for example, they are far too short and short stories need a heavy impact hammer (as in a lesson, moral, theme, or just MOMENT) to make their impression in the short time they have. Also, the stuff just seems a little too pedestrian: a little plain, too surface level, in other words, there's nothing there to make readers stop and think.
I guess I'm coming down hard on you, but from the wording of your reviews, it sounded as if you wanted me to critique your own works.
As to the Miluda scene, it is something I intent to cover, and Ramza'll be spending more than enough time at Lionel Castle for the subject to be broached.
Kanemi, thanks for taking the effort to e-mail me. As to why I chose to portray Ramza in the way I have, well, to make him a solid character with no flaws and one who lets nothing faze him (truly, not just presenting an external appearance), would be making him too perfect. With all that's heaped upon him, the loss of Delita and the loss of Teta, as well as total disillusionment with the social system beginning with the first encounter with Miluda, to the betrayal of him by his brothers, and finally, the truth behind St. Ajora, Ramza is going to be torn apart.
Alicia and Lavian call him a wuss because they are saying what they are seeing. Ramza never seemed like a badass character, and even in the beginning, he was only a spoiled brat with a sword at worst. What do you think seasoned soldiers are going to think of a boy who seems too timid and nice to be a hardened mercenary in Gafgarion's company?
I write Ramza how I perceive a person who acted like he has in the game would be should we be able to read more into his thoughts and actions. I also added in faults and quirks that I believe must be in a person like him. Everyone has their way of dealing with life's hardships, and a lot of Ramza's 'flaws' (I call them 'features') reside therein.
Considering your other point, anyone is welcome to be my pre-reader. The only thing is, I've learned to work independently of others, and I tend to post as soon as I am done writing (don't take offense if I post before addressing your comments). If you want, I can put you on a mailing list where every now and then I post what I've gotten done thus far; you are more than welcome to comment and criticize on these sections before I can post them. I've done re-posts on my story before, so there's precedent. Even if it boils down to you being able to see half a scene a week or two before the rest is posted, hey, you're more than welcome to ask me.
Hm, another thing, I AM a biased author. As a person, I have opinions, and I know I cannot keep them all in check and they are bound to filter into my writing. If you are good at reading people and their actions, I'm sure you can spot my personality traits and where the biases are in my writing. Still, I enjoy playing Devil's Advocate, and there are few things more entertaining and intellectually stimulating than to see a situation from as many as one can, and to have the ability to argue these points as if they were your own convictions.
Yeah, I guess Alicia and Lavian are beginning to pick up their own fan base ^_^.
Hm, right now, what do you think of the rate that Agrias and Ramza are driving towards each other at? Right now their natures seem to have clashed against each other, with Ramza trying to approach Agrias whilst she isn't sure just how much she wants to pursue a relationship with him.
***Reader's Response Corner***
***Miscellaneous***
I've thought about including songs in this fic. . . contemporary songs. I'm too uncultivated to know of any medieval / Romanesque songs, ballads, poetry, or epics that can relate (in somewhat of a literal fashion) to D.C.T.R. (the acronym for the story).
I've done SongScenes before, and what I've always done is actually incorporate lyrics as dialogue, trying to make the narration (description of actions) and the actual 'singing' flow together. I consider it a cop- out to simply copy & paste lyrics; where's the effort?
Candidates:
*Goo-Goo Dolls - Iris (the acoustic version - it sounds simpler than the original)
Almost all the lyrics match, and the religous allusions are nice, even if I have to well, warp them into the entire Excommunication/Heresy aspect of the story as applies to Ramza.
*Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment (its a little too modern, but somehow I'll see if I can make it fit)
Well, pretty self-explanatory, a lot of the lyrics match, and the near-desperate, lost mood (the guy sounds like he's just brought up the courage to tell the girl he likes). It'll only be part of the song though, it repeats far too much.
*Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want (Just take away all the instrumentals and of course, Ramza's proposed lighter voice)
Ramza isn't singing this to Agrias in person, but it will be Agrias' mental representation of him talking to her in her thoughts.
While that may seem like a pre-excuse for OOC, well, um. . . *cough* yeah. . . about that.
*Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid (Agrias needs a song to sing. . .)
Really OOC, but the basic statements are just perfect as applies to Agrias and her thoughts on Ramza. Well, it sort of describes a lot of women, or should I just stop digging myself a hole right now?
Purple Chocobos: (The unlikely contenders)
*Weezer - Butterfly (Agrias, butterfly, see the reference? Long-shot though, especially since I draw all the wrong impressions from this song - rape implied?)
*Three Doors Down - Here Without You (Just imagine a softer, less masculine and country-ish voice singing it)
One of those songs Ramza sings to himself. . .
*Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
Yeah, its one of the unlikelies. I just think its because I like the song so much. A lot of the stuff delved into this just doesn't seem to fit. Then again, its Agrias' favorite tragic word. . .
Agrias loses allegiance to the Church and all of her shields finally collapse in on herself. . . maybe, but then again, that's going too far ahead into the story.
***
I can tell just now that regardless which songs I select (there is no minimum or maximum) there will have to be some lyric editing. Not only do I steal their work, but I butcher it as well. . . uh-oh.
It seems tempting just to slap as many Goo Goo Dolls song into the D.C.T.R. Soundtrack. . . Who knows, I might go back and search through the 'older' material (come on, I was born in eighty-six). There has to be some non-cliched retro out there, but then again, I don't think Aretha Franklin's voice would fit Agrias' body. . .
Thoughts?
***Miscellaneous***
***Postscript***
Yeah, it looks as if 1/3rd of the new scene is actually Author's Notes-style material. Oh well. . . being sick for a while just gave me the ability to sit back and think, not focus enough and work.
One more thing. . . I'm just thinking how different the scene would've if Agrias had access to a sword at the time of the 'Hi Ramza' incident. . .
***Postscript***