Home Chapter 12
I didn't go back to the dorms for the rest of the weekend. I slept on the couch at the Curtis's, Soda had tried to give me his bed but I had refused, I wasn't a guest…I was family.
On Saturday morning I woke early before the rest of the house, they were all late sleepers when given the opportunity. When I got out of the shower Pony was up. I came into the living room wearing the same clothes as I had the night before. He got up off the couch and handed me some clothes, "Soda grew out of these, they'll be a bit big, but clean."
I took them back into the bathroom and put them on. The jeans were long and baggy, resting loosely on my hips. I rolled up the legs before slipping my sneakers back on. I pulled the wife beater over my head; it fit close, showing my flat stomach. Lastly I pulled on the plaid button down, buttoning it half-way and rolling the short sleeves up a bit shorter. I threw my hair up in a pony tail and came out of the bathroom.
"Come on." Pony said, taking me by the hand. I didn't ask where we were going, I didn't have to.
It was a short walk to the Highland Cemetery. The majority of the plots were overgrown, with the exception of two. The grass hadn't been mowed, but rather ripped up around these two markers. The trash had been cleared away and replaced by flowers…which looked less then healthy despite all attempts.
I sank down to my knees between the two graves, Dally to my left and Johnny to my right. Pony wandered away towards where our parents were buried, leaving me alone.
I carefully pulled at some grass growing near Dally's marker. Would things have been different if I had been here? I couldn't have prevented Johnny's death, but Dally and I had been close, he was my protector. Perhaps he would have talked to me instead of getting himself killed.
I put a hand on each marker; they were close together, Dally protecting Johnny even in death.
"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner…I didn't know. I wish there was something I could have done…I should have been here…I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE!" I screamed.
Pony came back and knelt next to me, wrapping his arms around me like a protective big brother. "I should have been here, they shouldn't have died, my parents shouldn't have died, your parents shouldn't have died. Why…"
I collapsed against him in sobs, finally letting it out finally grieving for our parents, my cousins and our friends. Pony let me cry until I was done, then we went briefly to my parents grave where I said a quick prayer before we went home. I felt better now, I hoped I could let go of those who had passed and embrace those in front of us.