***Author's Notes***
I have returned. Emotional turmoil still abound, and its not something I am going to resolve for some time, but for the moment, I've come to accept some of what I am running from.
I'm sorry, but for this chapter, and possibly for its immediate successors, I'm not going to be overkill on explaining the thoughts of the characters. As it is, I'm trying to keep their actions and thoughts within context of the story as opposed to carrying completely to my life.
For now... I'm just plugging away at the keys.
***Author's Notes***
Chapter 02-15 "Coming To Terms" (Chapter Two: The Manipulator and the Subservient, Scene 15)
***
'And it comes to this,' Agrias thought, as Ramza pulled back a little, gently shifting his right hand, which grasped her left, to point subtly in the direction of the head table. Before she could meet or rise to a challenge, Ramza shifted his ruby-irised eyes from her muddy hazel rings to stare into the night sky. Some time in the night, the windows and doors to the outside had been opened to provide a cool environment. "You know I can only say yes..."
Hand in hand, Ramza lead Agrias out on one of the balconies of the keep. Agrias only felt suspicion and resentment as the former inhabitants of the overlook vacated the location to the two of them. "Did you mean to demonize me in that environment?" she asked when they were alone. "No... you wouldn't, and that should never have even come up. Yet, hnn..." Agrias broke off, unsure of what to say.
"I wanted to get your attention; I wanted to trap you into making a stand," Ramza admitted, restraining his voice, his effort of sounding calm an example in hypocrisy. "We do not have much time to ourselves."
"I feel bitter," Agrias told him.
"So do I," Ramza agreed. His resultant smile was weak, but sincere, his tired expression showing through once more. "And talking just aggravates the situation."
"Damn this shell," Agrias cursed under her breath, sidling up against Ramza. "I'd find this sweet if it wasn't for the fact that more or less, we're metal-clad."
"I'm not complaining," Ramza quipped, causing Agrias to snort.
Changing the mood? she wondered. "Deviant," she accused softly, the word having neither poison nor fire.
"I-"Ramza stuttered, "you bring me joy."
"And pain..." Agrias said softly, wondering why she was returning to what they were trying to leave behind. Because it hasn't been resolved, she knew.
"I don't care about value, or balance," Ramza said, leading her to the edge of the balcony, where they stared down into the darkness of the hills and valleys that surrounded the castle. "You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever come... satisfaction that I've never found in anyone else..." Ramza trailed off, his breathing beginning to slow, Agrias could tell.
"But I'm hurting you, and you're hurting me..."
"And we always will," Ramza agreed. "But, to live with others..."
To love, you mean, Agrias did not say.
"That friction is something that you can never avoid. If they can touch you heart..."
"Then they have the power flay your soul." Agrias sighed, turning to look at Ramza beside her. "Why have you never called me out on that?" she asked him. "You knew I have this flaw-"
"This feature..." he interrupted, causing Agrias to roll her eyes.
"I fear others, and thus I shut them away." Gruffly, Agrias slipped behind Ramza and slid her arms under his and intertwined her hands at his waist. "Why am I revealing myself to you?" She could feel the deep breath he took as his body shifted. He replied with a pleasant yawn, and Agrias' right brow crooked in bemusement. "Well, aren't you going to say 'You're only vocalizing what your heart already shows?' You know me so well."
"I only know what you've shown me," Ramza remarked, and he sucked in a breath as Agrias squeezed him roughly. "I didn't mean to mock you, and," he continued, a little energy returning to his voice, "no, I don't think you overreacted."
"You're taking the fun out of fighting," Agrias pointed out.
"It isn't fun for me..." Ramza replied. "I have trouble telling when you really are mad..."
"Because I always am," Agrias agreed soberly. "But, you do know... and Ramza?"
"Hmm?" he said, touching her hands where they locked, her palms on his stomach.
"I don't believe I'll ever change."
"I cherish you as you are," Ramza said. "Even if you change, my loyalty and trust will still be yous." He flinched as Agrias brushed the side of his neck with her cheek, even though she'd be chafing part of herself on his armor. When she took a slow sniff of him, Ramza raised her left hand, still gloved, in both of his. Tenderly, he stroked the second to last digit on that hand.
"I don't understand why..." Agrias whispered brokenly.
***
"Ovelia needs you..." Ramza spoke, breaking their reverie. Agrias knew less than an hour had passed, but she had lost herself in that brief span of time, much in the same way that she savored her sleep, her oblivion, and her dreams. To wake, to wonder, to slip away; wistful tides.
She laughed softly, shifting where she stood by his side. "Is that your way of telling me that she comes first, before you?"
"When it comes to a decision, you will choose your duty over me." He squeezed the hand that held hers to let her know he meant no harm. "Your heart doesn't betray you. I don't see you as a collection of different pieces. To me, you are one and made of only one... yourself. Your sense of duty and your conscience would never allow you to forsake her over your emotions.
"That's cruel, Ramza." For the time they spent on that balcony, Agrias smile was sad, and her expression remained the same. She knew what he meant, yet part of her still took offense.
"It is truth..." Ramza said, keeping any apology out of his voice.
"Sometimes, I prefer the silence..." Agrias thought out loud.
"I didn't want to stay as we were," Ramza admitted. "So many things unsaid and unknown."
"Ignorance is bliss," Agrias quipped. When Ramza tugged at her arm gently, to take her back inside, Agrias grumbled and made a face. "I don't want to wake up yet..."
"Dreams may end, yet they never go away... they always return."
"Is that a promise?" Agrias said, relenting to his pressure and reluctantly pulling her hand away from his waist.
"A proposal..." Ramza said in a light tone, the line between jest and sincerity blurred.
***
Agrias let the rest of the festivities pass by her. She could not celebrate, not for the reasons this event was for. She felt joy and she felt sadness, hope and despair, wondering why something so lovely could be so abhorrent. Ramza was beside her, in his own way trying to reach out to her constantly, and Agrias wished that the only emotion she felt from that was happiness, untainted by fear.
Ovelia had been bothersome as well, yet, thankfully, her ward didn't pry so much, though Agrias felt patronized that Ovelia worried about her. Yet, the Holy Knight had to accept the fact that she was not being herself. She felt shame that Alicia and Lavian had taken her place when she had stolen –blatantly walked away- with Ramza, even with Ovelia's blessings, which Agrias knew would've been a command if she had stalled. Shame not because her subordinates fulfilled their duty, but shame that she herself walked away from hers.
Yet, she enjoyed the glow that remained from the encounter that turned into a reverie. Noticing that the celebration had degenerated into a more casual atmosphere, Agrias decided to take Ovelia back to their quarters. "Princess, it is time to leave."
Stifling her shrug, nodding her head instead, Ovelia replied, "Yes... it seems to be that way. A shame... its looking like people are beginning to have more fun." Agrias caught the hint of sadness in that voice, and she didn't voice her thought that Ovelia felt that she would always be within the glass display. Being moved when convenient, yet unlike those that gawked and manipulated her, she could not walk away.
"A tour tomorrow, princess?" Ramza suggested as he rose first, helping Agrias out of her seat before assisting Ovelia.
Ovelia seemed pensive, looking past him as her eyes lost focus. "I, yes, I would enjoy sightseeing..."
"Agreed," Agrias chimed. "Relaxation is something we all need."
Agrias knew she had walked into a trap when Ovelia's voice regained some energy and suggestion. "Then perhaps, Mr. Ruglia and yourself could remain here a little longer." She looked thoughtful, her mouth tilted as she searched for words. "The night is still young..." she said, unsure, wondering if that statement was the phrase she sought.
"Lavian and I will accompany her highness to our quarters," Alicia said formally, a light shining in her lime eyes.
Feigning a yawn, Lavian continued Alicia's thread. "The two of us are beginning to wind down."
The trap had tightened, and as Agrias began to agonize over the decision to stay, Ramza intervened. "I don't feel so tired, but I need to maintain discipline in getting enough rest."
Ovelia smiled, chuckling for a moment. "True. Well, I'll bid good night to the cardinal."
"You might as well be one of us now," Alicia told Ramza, "well, take the lead sir knight, we're as equally blind as you."
Ramza didn't know how to take that statement, so he fell back on what he felt was the safest reaction: confusion. Some time before, the cardinal had excused himself to talk to guests. As smoothly as he could, Ramza twisted past Agrias and around the princess. Opening his left palm in welcome, he bade them to follow him.
Annoyed, Agrias checked herself from going to his side instead of remaining by Ovelia.
***
With the cardinal were the two soldiers that had escorted them before, the knight and the dragoon. Without being told, Draclau understood that Ovelia was leaving for bed. "I wish you a good night's sleep. I hope tonight's festivities wasn't too exerting."
"Not at all," Ovelia replied politely. "The monastic lifestyle I've been raised in did not prepare me for this."
Gravely, Draclau nodded. "Forgive me if I don't offer my condolences, but I believe that the leaders of our people should undergo such an upbringing. Humble surroundings-"
"-Encourage humility," Ovelia finished. "Simon taught me that."
Laughing benevolently, Draclau held his hand up to his chest to raise attention to himself. "Or it may breed contempt for those below you." He chuckled mirthlessly, before changing his tone of voice. "Princess Ovelia, Dame Agrias, pardon my negligence: all the time we've had tonight, and I've failed to introduce these two fine knights."
Taking it upon himself, Ramza stepped forward. He shook hands with the dragoon. "Sir Sanders," Ramza addressed him.
"Ramza... Ruglia is it?" Sanders said.
Indifferently, Ramza turned towards the female knight, who hands were bare, her gloves held in her left hand. As he extended his hand, mischief danced in her eyes as she proffered hers palm-down, her arm straight, angled low.
Catching himself, Ramza began to kneel, holding her hand instead of a handshake, and pressed his lips to her knuckles. "Dame Tabatha..." he said, uncertain as he spoke.
Rising, she made a mild curtsey to him and the others. The smile on her face was almost a challenge, something the males did not recognize, yet the four females that Ramza escorted were wary of.
"These two commanders are now under your authority," Draclau told Ovelia. "Tabatha is the head of a small squad of mixed soldiers –all female- that will form the core of your new escort." Even with the diplomatic tone Draclau spoke in, Agrias' attention was aroused. She had an idea of what these two soldiers would be earlier that night, yet, the announcement startled her.
"Sanders commands a small corps of mobile infantry," Draclau continued. "You could consider them to be the more active of the troops I have delegated to serve you. For example, in your support of Mustadio, Sanders, with Ramza, will represent you in the effort to bring Bart Trading Company to justice." He paused for a moment, to emphasize his point. "These soldiers whom now serve under your name are a symbol of Lionel's support for the crown. I felt that it was needed to have a more substantial... blatant, mark of allegiance and commitment."
"Cardinal," Agrias began politely, regarding Tabatha cautiously, "Why was this not announced tonight at this gathering?"
"That would have been too garish a display, and it would've tarnished the significance of this decision. The ranks have a way of spreading the news, and soon, they will know. The people believe what they find out amongst themselves more than what we tell them."
***
A few minutes later, the entourage had made their way back to Ovelia's suite. Little chatter had been made, the journey quick. Agrias did not look forward the meeting she was sure to have with Tabatha sometime in the next few days. She knew something like this was bound to occur, yet, the magnitude of direction had been a mystery.
"Dame Tabatha..." Ovelia began softly before entering their suite.
"Yes, your highness?" the knight in formal battle-dress replied, deferential in her speech.
"You'll have to forgive the lack of time we've had to acquaint ourselves with each other. I hope that I will not become too much of a burden."
"I am here to ease your troubles, milady, as well as the other women whom will serve you."
"Ah..." Ovelia said, unsure of what to say. Giving Agrias a cautious glance, she continued, "You'll have to talk to Agrias about that. She's the one responsible for such affairs."
The pleasant smile on Tabatha's face twisted into something that resembled malice as she locked eyes with Agrias. "I look forward to sharing your duties," she remarked, before changing her tone of voice when she addressed Ramza. "I'm sorry for not telling you at the armory earlier: it turns out that I'll be serving...." she paused, "beneath you."
"I'm sure that he's..." Agrias gritted out, "looking forward to it." When Ramza sought her hand to give her comfort, she squeezed it in return. Even with the layers of leather, Ramza felt pain.
Wisely, Ovelia excused herself and slipped into what had become their apartment. Sanders likewise left without a word, giving Ramza a stare filled with pity.
Seeming forward, Tabatha reached out and touched Ramza tenderly on the shoulder before she walked away. "Good night, milord," she remarked playfully as she disappeared down the candlelit stone passage.
Ramza began to feel afraid when he heard the door shut as Alicia and Lavian had left him alone with Agrias.
"Don't worry, Ramza..." Agrias said, in a soothing voice that now seemed very suspect. She relinquished the strength she inflicted on his right hand, yet he still felt the trembling within her gloves. "I believe that she was just trying to get a reaction out of me."
"I've experienced rivalry against others before..."
"They were male, Ramza, let's leave it at that," Agrias said succinctly. She almost jumped as he touched her chin with his left hand. "She's come to take over my position, and she feels as if she needs to be dominant. Then, she feels that she has to throw an affiliation in the past with you in my face."
"She may be from my past, but she knows only of me," Ramza clarified, his tone plain. Any apology in his voice would only display guilt for something he did not commit.
"And I don't know if I know you..." Agrias confessed, sighing. "I trust you Ramza, yet, I'm angry that she would use you to get to me." She only softened as Ramza embraced her, and she succumbed to the comfort he gave her. For once, resistance didn't occur to her.
"Alicia told me she purchased some tea from an herbalist in this castle," Ramza told her. "I want you to relax before you go to sleep. First, I'll need to have the others take your armor off." At her dubious grunt, he followed with, "You're tired, angry, and stressed. Please, don't resist, just let it go and float away."
Keeping an arm around her shoulder, Ramza opened the door with his free hand and took Agrias inside. As a final rejoinder to a foe that had long since quit the battlefield, Agrias looked back and uttered one word with a cold, pitiless, and weary character.
"Bitch."
***
Ramza discarded his armor as quickly as he could inside the knights' room. He was thankful that the dragoon armor was made so that its wearer could equip it onto themselves without assistance. The coolness of the night air bit into him as he realized just how heated the heavy leather leg- armor made him feel. Grateful that some of the castle's staff had come in and given them their laundry, Ramza was clothed in attire he had not worn for almost a year. For the better part of that time, he had constantly been in armor and the underclothing that came with it, a heavy cloth tunic with rough pants.
He had stripped his clothing of any formal trim, yet the quality was something he could never hide. The cloth was too well-made, durable, yet comfortable, and the lines of the stitch were too clean, too seamless, too invisible. He realized that he missed the feeling of his pony tail brushing against his neck, the sensations it fed back as it would have brushed the back of his tunic.
Having assembled his gear into a corner of the room Lavian –the one in the group who had taken upon herself responsibility for their equipment- told him to place his armor, Ramza stood at the door, feeling the weight of the sheathed sword he held in his left hand. He never slept more than a handspan away from his weapon, a habit first instilled in him in the academy, and reinforced as necessity not in the time he spent in the field, but during his months of being first a thief trying to survive, and then as a mercenary in Gafgarion's unstable group. He remembered a time when the weapon he used had been much more slender, almost a toy. Something seen as a status of refinement instead of the instrument of death that it was. His mithril dagger was a throwback to that time, the companion piece to the rapier he had left behind.
Discarding the nostalgia that he felt rising, Ramza opened the door and stepped into the common room of what Alicia had coined as the 'Royal Suite.'
***
Meeting the odd look cast upon him by Ovelia, Ramza complied to her silent questions. "Tabatha knew of me from my past." Knowing that Ovelia would not pry further, even though she wanted to learn the details, he continued. "I think that she's simply trying to annoy Agrias."
"That's one way to put it, sir," Ovelia remarked, a sidelong expression on her face. "You placed Agrias in a spot she did not want to be in earlier in that hall..."
"Was there any other time that I could get through to her?" Ramza replied carefully, his voice subservient.
"So, you trapped her?" Ovelia let slip. "All you had to do was ask me and I would have arranged a time for her to..." she drifted off as Ramza shook his head once.
"I would never use you to get to her," Ramza said, some humor in his voice.
This was where Ovelia found herself laughing softly. "I appreciate your feelings for my overzealous knight. Yet, as fond as I am of you, I would never have tried to manipulate Agrias by using my position for anyone. You, are someone that she needs." She flashed him a gentle smile. "Speaking of whom," Ovelia said, giving him a mischievous wink. Her voice took on a melody. "Here she comes..." she began to sing off-key.
Ramza stared past Ovelia to see Agrias being forcibly shoved out of Ovelia's room by Alicia and Lavian. He kept silence as Agrias tried to claw her way back inside the princess' room.
"This is not what I want to look like!" she declared, her efforts growing more frantic when she spotted Ramza behind Ovelia, the princess giving Agrias a conspiratorial wink.
To their credit, the other three females kept silent as Ovelia quickly slipped past Agrias and locked her door behind her. Before Agrias could recover, Alicia and Lavian had darted past Ramza to their room and shut the door behind them. "Good night," Alicia cried out from behind the wooden door.
Splaying her arms by her sides, Agrias told Ramza. "Well, aren't you going to laugh?" Alicia and Lavian had overpowered her after they helped take off her armor.
"Its only a..." Ramza hesitated, "sleeping robe." He kept staring into her eyes, ignoring the temptation to look anywhere else.
"Its not proper..." Agrias said weakly, provoking a laugh from Ramza. She tugged at the sides of the black silk shirt that the castle attendants had given them in addition to the laundry they had washed. Agrias felt very self-conscious as the material hugged her in sensitive areas. The fact that the smooth material only reached just below her knees was unnerving her.
Ramza's smile only widened as Agrias gave him a dubious look as she rotated the index finger on her right hand for him to turn around. Feigning reluctance, her did as she wanted.
"On a more serious note," she added, her voice sounding somber behind him. "I appreciate the support the others are giving... forcing us into," she said.
"What is between us is ours alone," Ramza finished for her. "I cherish you... not Alicia, or Lavian, or Ovelia. I care about you, Agrias."
Agrias made a snort. "Can you be any more clichéd?" she asked him. Though her tone was sarcastic, her actions were not. She walked towards him and embraced him from behind. "You can turn around now..." she said.
"Oh, you changed?" Ramza asked, turning in her embrace. When he faced her, he could not see what she wore, yet he felt that she must have still only been wearing the long shirt.
"In a way..." she replied, some humor in her voice. "I know I must be confusing you. We've only known each other for a matter of days, not even a week, and it seems as if we're almost to that point..." she implied. She blinked as Ramza broke from her arms, and as she started to speak, his right hand held onto her left arm as he went to the small fireplace on the third wall of the common room and poured water from a pitcher into a kettle and hung it over the fire.
"You believe we are moving too quickly?" Ramza asked her as he invited her to sit in one of the chairs next to the dining table.
"I am having trouble admitting that I am attracted to you," Agrias asked. "That, and we have this..." she remarked, gesturing at their surroundings, "over our heads."
Ramza said nothing, and the moment of silence that ensued lasted long into the hour as the two of them watched the black kettle over the fire.
***
"Tea..." Agrias said, her voice lost. "I haven't had tea since..."
The way Ramza's eyes seemed to laugh quieted what else she had to say. It had been a few minutes since the water had boiled, and the tea had been poured. After whisking in the dried fragments of leaves, Ramza had let the heated beverage cool in their cups as he and Agrias sat next to each other at their table.
Neither knew what to say, their words dying as they were spoken. The time came when the liquid ceased to steam, and the two of them took their respective drink. Agrias paused, watching Ramza, his eyes closed, take a silent sip from his cup. He is a noble, she observed from the way his hands were postured, before filing the thought away. Her thoughts wandering, she came to focus on the present.
Agrias was startled as Ramza gently tapped the bottom of her cup to her lips. After she snickered at her own moment of reflection, Agrias drank.
"Something on your mind?" Ramza probed.
"No... a little... well... its not what normally concerns me," Agrias said to him, her voice inquisitive, as if she was questioning herself. "I wish..." she trailed off.
***
"Shouldn't we be talking?" Agrias pointed out, well into her second cup. The tart bite of the tea interested her. It didn't burn the same way alcohol did, yet it still kept her from pouring it down her throat. She savored the way the heat bled from the liquid if she kept it in her mouth for any length of time. Somehow, the tea made her sleepy. No, Agrias concluded, I'm just happy, isn't that strange?
Ramza's reply was a shrug. He had already put the kettle, whisk, and the small box of leaves away. "Being with you here, now... its enough."
Agrias didn't know how tired she was until she felt her eyes open, unaware that they had even closed. She stared up to see Ramza shaking her back, saying, "I think we should get you to bed."
Sleepily, Agrias lifted herself up to sit straight in her chair. She had slumped forwards onto the table when she faded out. She laughed. "Meddlers," she remarked, "Alicia and Ovelia locked us out of their rooms," she said, yawning.
She looked at Ramza suspiciously when he seemed nonchalant about her revelation. What made him even more suspect was that he still looked aware, while she was beginning to tune out into the realm of dreams.
"Its alright... you can take my cot," he told her. "I already had it set up."
"You planned this?" Agrias joked. She wondered when had so many of her inhibitions washed away.
"You were passed out on the table; I set it up then," Ramza clarified, his tone jovial. She turned to look at the corner of the room Ramza slept in, seeing the arrangements he made for her.
Shakily, Agrias said no more, walking over to the cot and falling into it. When she looked at the rest of the room was when she noticed that only a single candle remained lit. When Ramza draped a blanket over her, Agrias curled up, awake enough to make sure her hands kept her shirt pulled below her knees before she was covered.
"Dream well," he told her gently, squeezing her hands in his as he kneeled by her bedside.
"I... you as well," Agrias slurred, before asking him, "Well, where are you going to sleep? If I have your bed..."
"On the floor by the front door," Ramza said casually, beginning to move away.
Growling, Agrias grasped at him, managing to snag his leg. "No, not by the front door."
"I understand," Ramza told her, sheepish, a look she had not see him display for some time. "I'll find another place in the castle to stay tonight."
"No..." she moaned, wishing she had the energy to slap him for his foolishness. Releasing him, she touched the floor just beyond her cot. "Here... sleep here."
When Ramza hesitated, Agrias grew impatient in her desire to resolve the issue of bedtime. She slapped the floor repeatedly. "Now..." she whined, beginning to fade out.
"As you wish," Ramza acquiesced, his tone going from nervous to caring.
Agrias watched him with the remainder of her awareness as he quickly moved his beddings besides the cot he had given to her. She thought she had fallen asleep when he blew out the last candle, and the crimson glow that the room was in descended into darkness.
"Ramza?" she asked, a few minutes later as her eyes popped open; she did not want to fade away yet.
"I am here," he whispered back, lifting his hand up to the lip of her cot, brushing her own, and their fingers intertwined.
That was all Agrias needed.
***
Ramza underwent the same period of unknown time. When Agrias' breathing grew audible as it deepened and slowed, Ramza sat up, his left hand still twined with Agrias' right. Twisting, he leaned up to the cot, savoring her presence. Beyond the physical sensation of their linked hands, Ramza could feel her.
He stared into where he believed her face was in the darkness. Tentatively, he raised his right hand, and when he realized that he was about to touch her face, Ramza pulled it back.
After an exhalation of bliss, Ramza carefully slipped back into the floor. Reluctantly releasing his sleeping maiden's hand, Ramza followed her into the realm of dreams.
***
***Author's Notes***
I'm thinking this should have been meshed with the SongScene that preceded it, but the two are distinctive enough that it would have diluted them had they been lumped together. The challenge, then the resolution? No... that would have been far too fairy-tale.
The chapter's title explains it... coming to terms. Everything hasn't been fixed, and hell, the problems are beginning to stack, yet, admissions have been made.
Most likely, a reader is probably going to be thinking:
*Why does Agrias seem so bipolar. Either she's interested in him or not... how can she both want Ramza and reject him?
*Ramza is too perfect, too suave, too etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...
*How come they are both dancing around each other? And wait... hasn't less than a week passed... they are going too fast!
*Why is the author bitching about his personal life? Like we care. Write more, dammit.
I don't really know why... that's just how their personalities have come to develop, and in a way, remain stagnant. I'm viewing this not over the actual amount of days that have taken place in the story, but in the time it took me to write this far... which is a period lasting over a year now... so that may explain it.
Admittedly, Agrias and Ramza were paired before either one met the other in this story. That's my bias. Going into a rant as to why I believe they should be together is as banal as going into a rant as to why the idea of Ramza and Delita having a romantic relationship is abhorrent to me.
I've wanted to write soliloquys for Ramza and Agrias, respectively, but that would be too decisive. Yes, it might solve the problem of defining their character, but I don't want to get locked down into the realm of the solid. I have the story of Lion War to use as my guide, anything more would be too constrictive.
The weird thing is... yeah... even I don't know where the two finally accepted each other. Somehow, it probably wasn't in this scene. I keep on being reminded of Scene 08, yet another nighttime event ^_^.
***
***Omake*** (for those of you who actually read past the notes)
***
When the banquet died down, Mustadio realized that he had been left behind. The engineer didn't mind so much. He knew he wasn't a part of Ovelia's entourage, and if anything, he only sensed hostility from a couple of the women in that group. It didn't matter to him. The princess and the cardinal were the ones that could help him get his father back, though he was grateful that Ramza had decided to help him as well.
Early on, Mustadio had slipped away, finding himself a companion to spend the evening with. The wine they served felt more like brandy, or another strong spirit. Still, as much as he fancied the tall and wide- shouldered woman who attached herself to him, Mustadio balked at what to do.
He had never danced with a taller person in his life. He forgot what they talked about, the conversation lost in the alcohol. Eventually, the time came when he had to retire back to his library.
"Good night, Tamina," he slurred out, wondering if he remembered her name right.
"Going to bed this early?" his companion replied. Mustadio thought he saw something in those eyes as he was drunkenly lead away. Mustadio leerily walked behind his companion, trying to be discreet as he stared, wondering why he felt something was wrong with the way she walked.
"Was the dance tiring, miss?" Mustadio asked, referring to the problem.
"Oh..." his companion replied, "I've had that problem all my life."
Mustadio lost track of what happened after that until they reached the room Tamina was quartered in. Something about the décor in the room, and the smell felt wrong to Mustadio. Yes, some of the scent was floral, but the rest was too familiar to be comforting. When the door latched behind him, Mustadio's unease finally verbalized itself.
"What's going on, Tamina?" he asked. "Do you live here with another man?"
"Oh no... it's just me... well, the two of us tonight," his companion replied, embracing him from behind, and it was then, as the sleeves of his companion's dress peeled away as they circled around him, that Mustadio realized that his companion's biceps were larger and hairier than his. "Why do you call me Tamina, my name is Thomas," a husky voice breathed into his ear as Mustadio felt Thomas hold him tighter.
***
A dull-pitched scream wrenched itself through the stone walls of Lionel Castle. Immediately, Agrias and Ramza jolted awake, becoming alert.
"Ramza!" Agrias screeched, reaching down to the floor to touch him frantically, feeling naked caught away from her weapon. Its locked with Ovelia! She raged.
Likewise, Ramza was also alert. Quickly, he groped for a small pouch he had placed on a chair, and in the darkness, his lit a match and lit up a candle.
"I think that sounded like Mustadio," Ramza murmured sleepily as the screamed repeated before it was abruptly muffled.
"Oh..." Agrias said, beginning to relax. A weird look appeared on her face as she reached over and took the candle from Ramza's hand. "We'll take care of it in the morning." The tone that she said it in was almost pleased, Ramza realized.
"But... he's in trouble," Ramza said, confused.
"In the morning," Agrias said, blowing the candle out.
"It could be an attack..."
"In the morning," she said, her tone happy as she curled back up into Ramza's cot.
***
***Omake*** (the end)
***Omake Notes***
Yes, I am a horrible human being.
Also, to the Mustadio fans out there... don't worry, none of the omakes actually happen in the story. Or so Mustadio would say come 'morning'... oh, okay, I'll stop it with the perverted jokes.
I don't know which was funnier, what happened to Mustadio, or Agrias' reaction.
***Omake Notes***
***Readers' Response Corner***
Well, not really much to say that hasn't been expressed in the notes...
Um, yeah, its become painfully obvious that Agrias and Ramza have become stagnant.
As to the pace of the story... its something I will not change since I am content with the rate that it progresses.
The point of how the characters could deal with the issues of betrayal when they are having problems with romance is a valid point. My cop-out excuse is well... I'll leave it to the next update. Damn... that questions causing me to think, and I'm reading my own print-outs of this story in my off-time.
Yeah, it must be awkward for a stranger to talk about his personal problems... its how I vent, though, and I don't write anything that isn't comedic unless it has personal significance to me (it's a metaphor for something in real life)
***Readers' Response Corner***
I have returned. Emotional turmoil still abound, and its not something I am going to resolve for some time, but for the moment, I've come to accept some of what I am running from.
I'm sorry, but for this chapter, and possibly for its immediate successors, I'm not going to be overkill on explaining the thoughts of the characters. As it is, I'm trying to keep their actions and thoughts within context of the story as opposed to carrying completely to my life.
For now... I'm just plugging away at the keys.
***Author's Notes***
Chapter 02-15 "Coming To Terms" (Chapter Two: The Manipulator and the Subservient, Scene 15)
***
'And it comes to this,' Agrias thought, as Ramza pulled back a little, gently shifting his right hand, which grasped her left, to point subtly in the direction of the head table. Before she could meet or rise to a challenge, Ramza shifted his ruby-irised eyes from her muddy hazel rings to stare into the night sky. Some time in the night, the windows and doors to the outside had been opened to provide a cool environment. "You know I can only say yes..."
Hand in hand, Ramza lead Agrias out on one of the balconies of the keep. Agrias only felt suspicion and resentment as the former inhabitants of the overlook vacated the location to the two of them. "Did you mean to demonize me in that environment?" she asked when they were alone. "No... you wouldn't, and that should never have even come up. Yet, hnn..." Agrias broke off, unsure of what to say.
"I wanted to get your attention; I wanted to trap you into making a stand," Ramza admitted, restraining his voice, his effort of sounding calm an example in hypocrisy. "We do not have much time to ourselves."
"I feel bitter," Agrias told him.
"So do I," Ramza agreed. His resultant smile was weak, but sincere, his tired expression showing through once more. "And talking just aggravates the situation."
"Damn this shell," Agrias cursed under her breath, sidling up against Ramza. "I'd find this sweet if it wasn't for the fact that more or less, we're metal-clad."
"I'm not complaining," Ramza quipped, causing Agrias to snort.
Changing the mood? she wondered. "Deviant," she accused softly, the word having neither poison nor fire.
"I-"Ramza stuttered, "you bring me joy."
"And pain..." Agrias said softly, wondering why she was returning to what they were trying to leave behind. Because it hasn't been resolved, she knew.
"I don't care about value, or balance," Ramza said, leading her to the edge of the balcony, where they stared down into the darkness of the hills and valleys that surrounded the castle. "You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever come... satisfaction that I've never found in anyone else..." Ramza trailed off, his breathing beginning to slow, Agrias could tell.
"But I'm hurting you, and you're hurting me..."
"And we always will," Ramza agreed. "But, to live with others..."
To love, you mean, Agrias did not say.
"That friction is something that you can never avoid. If they can touch you heart..."
"Then they have the power flay your soul." Agrias sighed, turning to look at Ramza beside her. "Why have you never called me out on that?" she asked him. "You knew I have this flaw-"
"This feature..." he interrupted, causing Agrias to roll her eyes.
"I fear others, and thus I shut them away." Gruffly, Agrias slipped behind Ramza and slid her arms under his and intertwined her hands at his waist. "Why am I revealing myself to you?" She could feel the deep breath he took as his body shifted. He replied with a pleasant yawn, and Agrias' right brow crooked in bemusement. "Well, aren't you going to say 'You're only vocalizing what your heart already shows?' You know me so well."
"I only know what you've shown me," Ramza remarked, and he sucked in a breath as Agrias squeezed him roughly. "I didn't mean to mock you, and," he continued, a little energy returning to his voice, "no, I don't think you overreacted."
"You're taking the fun out of fighting," Agrias pointed out.
"It isn't fun for me..." Ramza replied. "I have trouble telling when you really are mad..."
"Because I always am," Agrias agreed soberly. "But, you do know... and Ramza?"
"Hmm?" he said, touching her hands where they locked, her palms on his stomach.
"I don't believe I'll ever change."
"I cherish you as you are," Ramza said. "Even if you change, my loyalty and trust will still be yous." He flinched as Agrias brushed the side of his neck with her cheek, even though she'd be chafing part of herself on his armor. When she took a slow sniff of him, Ramza raised her left hand, still gloved, in both of his. Tenderly, he stroked the second to last digit on that hand.
"I don't understand why..." Agrias whispered brokenly.
***
"Ovelia needs you..." Ramza spoke, breaking their reverie. Agrias knew less than an hour had passed, but she had lost herself in that brief span of time, much in the same way that she savored her sleep, her oblivion, and her dreams. To wake, to wonder, to slip away; wistful tides.
She laughed softly, shifting where she stood by his side. "Is that your way of telling me that she comes first, before you?"
"When it comes to a decision, you will choose your duty over me." He squeezed the hand that held hers to let her know he meant no harm. "Your heart doesn't betray you. I don't see you as a collection of different pieces. To me, you are one and made of only one... yourself. Your sense of duty and your conscience would never allow you to forsake her over your emotions.
"That's cruel, Ramza." For the time they spent on that balcony, Agrias smile was sad, and her expression remained the same. She knew what he meant, yet part of her still took offense.
"It is truth..." Ramza said, keeping any apology out of his voice.
"Sometimes, I prefer the silence..." Agrias thought out loud.
"I didn't want to stay as we were," Ramza admitted. "So many things unsaid and unknown."
"Ignorance is bliss," Agrias quipped. When Ramza tugged at her arm gently, to take her back inside, Agrias grumbled and made a face. "I don't want to wake up yet..."
"Dreams may end, yet they never go away... they always return."
"Is that a promise?" Agrias said, relenting to his pressure and reluctantly pulling her hand away from his waist.
"A proposal..." Ramza said in a light tone, the line between jest and sincerity blurred.
***
Agrias let the rest of the festivities pass by her. She could not celebrate, not for the reasons this event was for. She felt joy and she felt sadness, hope and despair, wondering why something so lovely could be so abhorrent. Ramza was beside her, in his own way trying to reach out to her constantly, and Agrias wished that the only emotion she felt from that was happiness, untainted by fear.
Ovelia had been bothersome as well, yet, thankfully, her ward didn't pry so much, though Agrias felt patronized that Ovelia worried about her. Yet, the Holy Knight had to accept the fact that she was not being herself. She felt shame that Alicia and Lavian had taken her place when she had stolen –blatantly walked away- with Ramza, even with Ovelia's blessings, which Agrias knew would've been a command if she had stalled. Shame not because her subordinates fulfilled their duty, but shame that she herself walked away from hers.
Yet, she enjoyed the glow that remained from the encounter that turned into a reverie. Noticing that the celebration had degenerated into a more casual atmosphere, Agrias decided to take Ovelia back to their quarters. "Princess, it is time to leave."
Stifling her shrug, nodding her head instead, Ovelia replied, "Yes... it seems to be that way. A shame... its looking like people are beginning to have more fun." Agrias caught the hint of sadness in that voice, and she didn't voice her thought that Ovelia felt that she would always be within the glass display. Being moved when convenient, yet unlike those that gawked and manipulated her, she could not walk away.
"A tour tomorrow, princess?" Ramza suggested as he rose first, helping Agrias out of her seat before assisting Ovelia.
Ovelia seemed pensive, looking past him as her eyes lost focus. "I, yes, I would enjoy sightseeing..."
"Agreed," Agrias chimed. "Relaxation is something we all need."
Agrias knew she had walked into a trap when Ovelia's voice regained some energy and suggestion. "Then perhaps, Mr. Ruglia and yourself could remain here a little longer." She looked thoughtful, her mouth tilted as she searched for words. "The night is still young..." she said, unsure, wondering if that statement was the phrase she sought.
"Lavian and I will accompany her highness to our quarters," Alicia said formally, a light shining in her lime eyes.
Feigning a yawn, Lavian continued Alicia's thread. "The two of us are beginning to wind down."
The trap had tightened, and as Agrias began to agonize over the decision to stay, Ramza intervened. "I don't feel so tired, but I need to maintain discipline in getting enough rest."
Ovelia smiled, chuckling for a moment. "True. Well, I'll bid good night to the cardinal."
"You might as well be one of us now," Alicia told Ramza, "well, take the lead sir knight, we're as equally blind as you."
Ramza didn't know how to take that statement, so he fell back on what he felt was the safest reaction: confusion. Some time before, the cardinal had excused himself to talk to guests. As smoothly as he could, Ramza twisted past Agrias and around the princess. Opening his left palm in welcome, he bade them to follow him.
Annoyed, Agrias checked herself from going to his side instead of remaining by Ovelia.
***
With the cardinal were the two soldiers that had escorted them before, the knight and the dragoon. Without being told, Draclau understood that Ovelia was leaving for bed. "I wish you a good night's sleep. I hope tonight's festivities wasn't too exerting."
"Not at all," Ovelia replied politely. "The monastic lifestyle I've been raised in did not prepare me for this."
Gravely, Draclau nodded. "Forgive me if I don't offer my condolences, but I believe that the leaders of our people should undergo such an upbringing. Humble surroundings-"
"-Encourage humility," Ovelia finished. "Simon taught me that."
Laughing benevolently, Draclau held his hand up to his chest to raise attention to himself. "Or it may breed contempt for those below you." He chuckled mirthlessly, before changing his tone of voice. "Princess Ovelia, Dame Agrias, pardon my negligence: all the time we've had tonight, and I've failed to introduce these two fine knights."
Taking it upon himself, Ramza stepped forward. He shook hands with the dragoon. "Sir Sanders," Ramza addressed him.
"Ramza... Ruglia is it?" Sanders said.
Indifferently, Ramza turned towards the female knight, who hands were bare, her gloves held in her left hand. As he extended his hand, mischief danced in her eyes as she proffered hers palm-down, her arm straight, angled low.
Catching himself, Ramza began to kneel, holding her hand instead of a handshake, and pressed his lips to her knuckles. "Dame Tabatha..." he said, uncertain as he spoke.
Rising, she made a mild curtsey to him and the others. The smile on her face was almost a challenge, something the males did not recognize, yet the four females that Ramza escorted were wary of.
"These two commanders are now under your authority," Draclau told Ovelia. "Tabatha is the head of a small squad of mixed soldiers –all female- that will form the core of your new escort." Even with the diplomatic tone Draclau spoke in, Agrias' attention was aroused. She had an idea of what these two soldiers would be earlier that night, yet, the announcement startled her.
"Sanders commands a small corps of mobile infantry," Draclau continued. "You could consider them to be the more active of the troops I have delegated to serve you. For example, in your support of Mustadio, Sanders, with Ramza, will represent you in the effort to bring Bart Trading Company to justice." He paused for a moment, to emphasize his point. "These soldiers whom now serve under your name are a symbol of Lionel's support for the crown. I felt that it was needed to have a more substantial... blatant, mark of allegiance and commitment."
"Cardinal," Agrias began politely, regarding Tabatha cautiously, "Why was this not announced tonight at this gathering?"
"That would have been too garish a display, and it would've tarnished the significance of this decision. The ranks have a way of spreading the news, and soon, they will know. The people believe what they find out amongst themselves more than what we tell them."
***
A few minutes later, the entourage had made their way back to Ovelia's suite. Little chatter had been made, the journey quick. Agrias did not look forward the meeting she was sure to have with Tabatha sometime in the next few days. She knew something like this was bound to occur, yet, the magnitude of direction had been a mystery.
"Dame Tabatha..." Ovelia began softly before entering their suite.
"Yes, your highness?" the knight in formal battle-dress replied, deferential in her speech.
"You'll have to forgive the lack of time we've had to acquaint ourselves with each other. I hope that I will not become too much of a burden."
"I am here to ease your troubles, milady, as well as the other women whom will serve you."
"Ah..." Ovelia said, unsure of what to say. Giving Agrias a cautious glance, she continued, "You'll have to talk to Agrias about that. She's the one responsible for such affairs."
The pleasant smile on Tabatha's face twisted into something that resembled malice as she locked eyes with Agrias. "I look forward to sharing your duties," she remarked, before changing her tone of voice when she addressed Ramza. "I'm sorry for not telling you at the armory earlier: it turns out that I'll be serving...." she paused, "beneath you."
"I'm sure that he's..." Agrias gritted out, "looking forward to it." When Ramza sought her hand to give her comfort, she squeezed it in return. Even with the layers of leather, Ramza felt pain.
Wisely, Ovelia excused herself and slipped into what had become their apartment. Sanders likewise left without a word, giving Ramza a stare filled with pity.
Seeming forward, Tabatha reached out and touched Ramza tenderly on the shoulder before she walked away. "Good night, milord," she remarked playfully as she disappeared down the candlelit stone passage.
Ramza began to feel afraid when he heard the door shut as Alicia and Lavian had left him alone with Agrias.
"Don't worry, Ramza..." Agrias said, in a soothing voice that now seemed very suspect. She relinquished the strength she inflicted on his right hand, yet he still felt the trembling within her gloves. "I believe that she was just trying to get a reaction out of me."
"I've experienced rivalry against others before..."
"They were male, Ramza, let's leave it at that," Agrias said succinctly. She almost jumped as he touched her chin with his left hand. "She's come to take over my position, and she feels as if she needs to be dominant. Then, she feels that she has to throw an affiliation in the past with you in my face."
"She may be from my past, but she knows only of me," Ramza clarified, his tone plain. Any apology in his voice would only display guilt for something he did not commit.
"And I don't know if I know you..." Agrias confessed, sighing. "I trust you Ramza, yet, I'm angry that she would use you to get to me." She only softened as Ramza embraced her, and she succumbed to the comfort he gave her. For once, resistance didn't occur to her.
"Alicia told me she purchased some tea from an herbalist in this castle," Ramza told her. "I want you to relax before you go to sleep. First, I'll need to have the others take your armor off." At her dubious grunt, he followed with, "You're tired, angry, and stressed. Please, don't resist, just let it go and float away."
Keeping an arm around her shoulder, Ramza opened the door with his free hand and took Agrias inside. As a final rejoinder to a foe that had long since quit the battlefield, Agrias looked back and uttered one word with a cold, pitiless, and weary character.
"Bitch."
***
Ramza discarded his armor as quickly as he could inside the knights' room. He was thankful that the dragoon armor was made so that its wearer could equip it onto themselves without assistance. The coolness of the night air bit into him as he realized just how heated the heavy leather leg- armor made him feel. Grateful that some of the castle's staff had come in and given them their laundry, Ramza was clothed in attire he had not worn for almost a year. For the better part of that time, he had constantly been in armor and the underclothing that came with it, a heavy cloth tunic with rough pants.
He had stripped his clothing of any formal trim, yet the quality was something he could never hide. The cloth was too well-made, durable, yet comfortable, and the lines of the stitch were too clean, too seamless, too invisible. He realized that he missed the feeling of his pony tail brushing against his neck, the sensations it fed back as it would have brushed the back of his tunic.
Having assembled his gear into a corner of the room Lavian –the one in the group who had taken upon herself responsibility for their equipment- told him to place his armor, Ramza stood at the door, feeling the weight of the sheathed sword he held in his left hand. He never slept more than a handspan away from his weapon, a habit first instilled in him in the academy, and reinforced as necessity not in the time he spent in the field, but during his months of being first a thief trying to survive, and then as a mercenary in Gafgarion's unstable group. He remembered a time when the weapon he used had been much more slender, almost a toy. Something seen as a status of refinement instead of the instrument of death that it was. His mithril dagger was a throwback to that time, the companion piece to the rapier he had left behind.
Discarding the nostalgia that he felt rising, Ramza opened the door and stepped into the common room of what Alicia had coined as the 'Royal Suite.'
***
Meeting the odd look cast upon him by Ovelia, Ramza complied to her silent questions. "Tabatha knew of me from my past." Knowing that Ovelia would not pry further, even though she wanted to learn the details, he continued. "I think that she's simply trying to annoy Agrias."
"That's one way to put it, sir," Ovelia remarked, a sidelong expression on her face. "You placed Agrias in a spot she did not want to be in earlier in that hall..."
"Was there any other time that I could get through to her?" Ramza replied carefully, his voice subservient.
"So, you trapped her?" Ovelia let slip. "All you had to do was ask me and I would have arranged a time for her to..." she drifted off as Ramza shook his head once.
"I would never use you to get to her," Ramza said, some humor in his voice.
This was where Ovelia found herself laughing softly. "I appreciate your feelings for my overzealous knight. Yet, as fond as I am of you, I would never have tried to manipulate Agrias by using my position for anyone. You, are someone that she needs." She flashed him a gentle smile. "Speaking of whom," Ovelia said, giving him a mischievous wink. Her voice took on a melody. "Here she comes..." she began to sing off-key.
Ramza stared past Ovelia to see Agrias being forcibly shoved out of Ovelia's room by Alicia and Lavian. He kept silence as Agrias tried to claw her way back inside the princess' room.
"This is not what I want to look like!" she declared, her efforts growing more frantic when she spotted Ramza behind Ovelia, the princess giving Agrias a conspiratorial wink.
To their credit, the other three females kept silent as Ovelia quickly slipped past Agrias and locked her door behind her. Before Agrias could recover, Alicia and Lavian had darted past Ramza to their room and shut the door behind them. "Good night," Alicia cried out from behind the wooden door.
Splaying her arms by her sides, Agrias told Ramza. "Well, aren't you going to laugh?" Alicia and Lavian had overpowered her after they helped take off her armor.
"Its only a..." Ramza hesitated, "sleeping robe." He kept staring into her eyes, ignoring the temptation to look anywhere else.
"Its not proper..." Agrias said weakly, provoking a laugh from Ramza. She tugged at the sides of the black silk shirt that the castle attendants had given them in addition to the laundry they had washed. Agrias felt very self-conscious as the material hugged her in sensitive areas. The fact that the smooth material only reached just below her knees was unnerving her.
Ramza's smile only widened as Agrias gave him a dubious look as she rotated the index finger on her right hand for him to turn around. Feigning reluctance, her did as she wanted.
"On a more serious note," she added, her voice sounding somber behind him. "I appreciate the support the others are giving... forcing us into," she said.
"What is between us is ours alone," Ramza finished for her. "I cherish you... not Alicia, or Lavian, or Ovelia. I care about you, Agrias."
Agrias made a snort. "Can you be any more clichéd?" she asked him. Though her tone was sarcastic, her actions were not. She walked towards him and embraced him from behind. "You can turn around now..." she said.
"Oh, you changed?" Ramza asked, turning in her embrace. When he faced her, he could not see what she wore, yet he felt that she must have still only been wearing the long shirt.
"In a way..." she replied, some humor in her voice. "I know I must be confusing you. We've only known each other for a matter of days, not even a week, and it seems as if we're almost to that point..." she implied. She blinked as Ramza broke from her arms, and as she started to speak, his right hand held onto her left arm as he went to the small fireplace on the third wall of the common room and poured water from a pitcher into a kettle and hung it over the fire.
"You believe we are moving too quickly?" Ramza asked her as he invited her to sit in one of the chairs next to the dining table.
"I am having trouble admitting that I am attracted to you," Agrias asked. "That, and we have this..." she remarked, gesturing at their surroundings, "over our heads."
Ramza said nothing, and the moment of silence that ensued lasted long into the hour as the two of them watched the black kettle over the fire.
***
"Tea..." Agrias said, her voice lost. "I haven't had tea since..."
The way Ramza's eyes seemed to laugh quieted what else she had to say. It had been a few minutes since the water had boiled, and the tea had been poured. After whisking in the dried fragments of leaves, Ramza had let the heated beverage cool in their cups as he and Agrias sat next to each other at their table.
Neither knew what to say, their words dying as they were spoken. The time came when the liquid ceased to steam, and the two of them took their respective drink. Agrias paused, watching Ramza, his eyes closed, take a silent sip from his cup. He is a noble, she observed from the way his hands were postured, before filing the thought away. Her thoughts wandering, she came to focus on the present.
Agrias was startled as Ramza gently tapped the bottom of her cup to her lips. After she snickered at her own moment of reflection, Agrias drank.
"Something on your mind?" Ramza probed.
"No... a little... well... its not what normally concerns me," Agrias said to him, her voice inquisitive, as if she was questioning herself. "I wish..." she trailed off.
***
"Shouldn't we be talking?" Agrias pointed out, well into her second cup. The tart bite of the tea interested her. It didn't burn the same way alcohol did, yet it still kept her from pouring it down her throat. She savored the way the heat bled from the liquid if she kept it in her mouth for any length of time. Somehow, the tea made her sleepy. No, Agrias concluded, I'm just happy, isn't that strange?
Ramza's reply was a shrug. He had already put the kettle, whisk, and the small box of leaves away. "Being with you here, now... its enough."
Agrias didn't know how tired she was until she felt her eyes open, unaware that they had even closed. She stared up to see Ramza shaking her back, saying, "I think we should get you to bed."
Sleepily, Agrias lifted herself up to sit straight in her chair. She had slumped forwards onto the table when she faded out. She laughed. "Meddlers," she remarked, "Alicia and Ovelia locked us out of their rooms," she said, yawning.
She looked at Ramza suspiciously when he seemed nonchalant about her revelation. What made him even more suspect was that he still looked aware, while she was beginning to tune out into the realm of dreams.
"Its alright... you can take my cot," he told her. "I already had it set up."
"You planned this?" Agrias joked. She wondered when had so many of her inhibitions washed away.
"You were passed out on the table; I set it up then," Ramza clarified, his tone jovial. She turned to look at the corner of the room Ramza slept in, seeing the arrangements he made for her.
Shakily, Agrias said no more, walking over to the cot and falling into it. When she looked at the rest of the room was when she noticed that only a single candle remained lit. When Ramza draped a blanket over her, Agrias curled up, awake enough to make sure her hands kept her shirt pulled below her knees before she was covered.
"Dream well," he told her gently, squeezing her hands in his as he kneeled by her bedside.
"I... you as well," Agrias slurred, before asking him, "Well, where are you going to sleep? If I have your bed..."
"On the floor by the front door," Ramza said casually, beginning to move away.
Growling, Agrias grasped at him, managing to snag his leg. "No, not by the front door."
"I understand," Ramza told her, sheepish, a look she had not see him display for some time. "I'll find another place in the castle to stay tonight."
"No..." she moaned, wishing she had the energy to slap him for his foolishness. Releasing him, she touched the floor just beyond her cot. "Here... sleep here."
When Ramza hesitated, Agrias grew impatient in her desire to resolve the issue of bedtime. She slapped the floor repeatedly. "Now..." she whined, beginning to fade out.
"As you wish," Ramza acquiesced, his tone going from nervous to caring.
Agrias watched him with the remainder of her awareness as he quickly moved his beddings besides the cot he had given to her. She thought she had fallen asleep when he blew out the last candle, and the crimson glow that the room was in descended into darkness.
"Ramza?" she asked, a few minutes later as her eyes popped open; she did not want to fade away yet.
"I am here," he whispered back, lifting his hand up to the lip of her cot, brushing her own, and their fingers intertwined.
That was all Agrias needed.
***
Ramza underwent the same period of unknown time. When Agrias' breathing grew audible as it deepened and slowed, Ramza sat up, his left hand still twined with Agrias' right. Twisting, he leaned up to the cot, savoring her presence. Beyond the physical sensation of their linked hands, Ramza could feel her.
He stared into where he believed her face was in the darkness. Tentatively, he raised his right hand, and when he realized that he was about to touch her face, Ramza pulled it back.
After an exhalation of bliss, Ramza carefully slipped back into the floor. Reluctantly releasing his sleeping maiden's hand, Ramza followed her into the realm of dreams.
***
***Author's Notes***
I'm thinking this should have been meshed with the SongScene that preceded it, but the two are distinctive enough that it would have diluted them had they been lumped together. The challenge, then the resolution? No... that would have been far too fairy-tale.
The chapter's title explains it... coming to terms. Everything hasn't been fixed, and hell, the problems are beginning to stack, yet, admissions have been made.
Most likely, a reader is probably going to be thinking:
*Why does Agrias seem so bipolar. Either she's interested in him or not... how can she both want Ramza and reject him?
*Ramza is too perfect, too suave, too etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...
*How come they are both dancing around each other? And wait... hasn't less than a week passed... they are going too fast!
*Why is the author bitching about his personal life? Like we care. Write more, dammit.
I don't really know why... that's just how their personalities have come to develop, and in a way, remain stagnant. I'm viewing this not over the actual amount of days that have taken place in the story, but in the time it took me to write this far... which is a period lasting over a year now... so that may explain it.
Admittedly, Agrias and Ramza were paired before either one met the other in this story. That's my bias. Going into a rant as to why I believe they should be together is as banal as going into a rant as to why the idea of Ramza and Delita having a romantic relationship is abhorrent to me.
I've wanted to write soliloquys for Ramza and Agrias, respectively, but that would be too decisive. Yes, it might solve the problem of defining their character, but I don't want to get locked down into the realm of the solid. I have the story of Lion War to use as my guide, anything more would be too constrictive.
The weird thing is... yeah... even I don't know where the two finally accepted each other. Somehow, it probably wasn't in this scene. I keep on being reminded of Scene 08, yet another nighttime event ^_^.
***
***Omake*** (for those of you who actually read past the notes)
***
When the banquet died down, Mustadio realized that he had been left behind. The engineer didn't mind so much. He knew he wasn't a part of Ovelia's entourage, and if anything, he only sensed hostility from a couple of the women in that group. It didn't matter to him. The princess and the cardinal were the ones that could help him get his father back, though he was grateful that Ramza had decided to help him as well.
Early on, Mustadio had slipped away, finding himself a companion to spend the evening with. The wine they served felt more like brandy, or another strong spirit. Still, as much as he fancied the tall and wide- shouldered woman who attached herself to him, Mustadio balked at what to do.
He had never danced with a taller person in his life. He forgot what they talked about, the conversation lost in the alcohol. Eventually, the time came when he had to retire back to his library.
"Good night, Tamina," he slurred out, wondering if he remembered her name right.
"Going to bed this early?" his companion replied. Mustadio thought he saw something in those eyes as he was drunkenly lead away. Mustadio leerily walked behind his companion, trying to be discreet as he stared, wondering why he felt something was wrong with the way she walked.
"Was the dance tiring, miss?" Mustadio asked, referring to the problem.
"Oh..." his companion replied, "I've had that problem all my life."
Mustadio lost track of what happened after that until they reached the room Tamina was quartered in. Something about the décor in the room, and the smell felt wrong to Mustadio. Yes, some of the scent was floral, but the rest was too familiar to be comforting. When the door latched behind him, Mustadio's unease finally verbalized itself.
"What's going on, Tamina?" he asked. "Do you live here with another man?"
"Oh no... it's just me... well, the two of us tonight," his companion replied, embracing him from behind, and it was then, as the sleeves of his companion's dress peeled away as they circled around him, that Mustadio realized that his companion's biceps were larger and hairier than his. "Why do you call me Tamina, my name is Thomas," a husky voice breathed into his ear as Mustadio felt Thomas hold him tighter.
***
A dull-pitched scream wrenched itself through the stone walls of Lionel Castle. Immediately, Agrias and Ramza jolted awake, becoming alert.
"Ramza!" Agrias screeched, reaching down to the floor to touch him frantically, feeling naked caught away from her weapon. Its locked with Ovelia! She raged.
Likewise, Ramza was also alert. Quickly, he groped for a small pouch he had placed on a chair, and in the darkness, his lit a match and lit up a candle.
"I think that sounded like Mustadio," Ramza murmured sleepily as the screamed repeated before it was abruptly muffled.
"Oh..." Agrias said, beginning to relax. A weird look appeared on her face as she reached over and took the candle from Ramza's hand. "We'll take care of it in the morning." The tone that she said it in was almost pleased, Ramza realized.
"But... he's in trouble," Ramza said, confused.
"In the morning," Agrias said, blowing the candle out.
"It could be an attack..."
"In the morning," she said, her tone happy as she curled back up into Ramza's cot.
***
***Omake*** (the end)
***Omake Notes***
Yes, I am a horrible human being.
Also, to the Mustadio fans out there... don't worry, none of the omakes actually happen in the story. Or so Mustadio would say come 'morning'... oh, okay, I'll stop it with the perverted jokes.
I don't know which was funnier, what happened to Mustadio, or Agrias' reaction.
***Omake Notes***
***Readers' Response Corner***
Well, not really much to say that hasn't been expressed in the notes...
Um, yeah, its become painfully obvious that Agrias and Ramza have become stagnant.
As to the pace of the story... its something I will not change since I am content with the rate that it progresses.
The point of how the characters could deal with the issues of betrayal when they are having problems with romance is a valid point. My cop-out excuse is well... I'll leave it to the next update. Damn... that questions causing me to think, and I'm reading my own print-outs of this story in my off-time.
Yeah, it must be awkward for a stranger to talk about his personal problems... its how I vent, though, and I don't write anything that isn't comedic unless it has personal significance to me (it's a metaphor for something in real life)
***Readers' Response Corner***