Disclaimer: All Bleach characters belong to Kubo Tite.

PA system Blues: The third Monday morning

The Kurosaki household residents were all fast asleep. Well, all save one. In the wee hours of the morning, a small shadow stirred and crept quietly across the floor of Ichigo's room.

Kon sneaked into a certain hot-tempered boy's school bag. An act that would no doubt incur the wrath of the owner, had he not been blissfully snoring in bed, 5-feet away. Kon was willing to take the risk. He had plans, and this was a mission.

As the first shafts of Monday morning sunshine peeped through the window, the sleeping occupants of Ichigo's room never noticed the sounds of muffled laughter coming from the school bag.

oooOooo

Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia stared up at the form blocking the entrance of the PA room. The one-man human barricade scowled down at them.

"You young upstarts had best behave today," he barked. "I'm going to be watching the pair of you with eyes of a hawk."

Really, it was much too early in the morning for this. Ichigo offered the average dismissive reply used by teenagers everywhere, "Whatever, sensei. Now can we get this over with?"

What cheek! Nobody gives Kagine-sensei anything but meek acquiescence. His word was law in this school, and he wasn't going to take any smart little quips spouted by this orange-haired punk.

"You watch yourself. Don't think you can mess with the school PA system every Monday and get away with it! This school, and students like you need discipline!"

Rukia tried hard to keep her sweet and innocent façade in place. An encounter with the power-obsessed teacher was not the best way to start the day. Was he actually flexing his brawny muscles as he spoke?

The teacher sat vigilantly behind them, arms crossed. Occasionally, he would make threatening growls to remind them that they were under the watchful eyes of a man who would tolerate no tricks.

So focused was he upon Ichigo and Rukia that he never thought to watch the school bags on the floor.

oooOooo

Rukia finished the announcements quickly, all the time feeling that oppressive force from behind. As soon as it was over, the teacher all but kicked them out into the hallway. Kagine-sensei turned the key in the lock and gave Ichigo a triumphant smirk.

"Hah! Ruined your plans, didn't I? Thought you'd get to it after my back was turned? Don't even dream! The door will remain locked 'til I give you permission to enter. And I hold the only set of keys!"

"Now, scram to your classes! No loitering in the hallways!"

With that, Kagine-sensei sauntered off to the faculty room, pleased with his own proficiency at discontinuing the weekly nonsensical announcements.

He would have to write a report on how well he had handled this case. Maybe he'd get that promotion he obviously deserved. As he leaned forward to begin the composition, -Monday. Date.., the PA system in the staff room crackled to life.

His pen stopped one centimeter from the paper.

It couldn't be! He had locked that door! Double-locked it, in fact! It was just his imagina-

The PA system crackled again and gave a high pitched whine as someone adjusted the microphone.

All the hairs on his arm and the back of his neck stood straight up. As if a chilling wind had just blown past.

"Goood morning, Karakura! You're listening to Radio Kon –Golden! Here to bring you the latest updates is the one and only.."

Kagine-sensei stood up so fast that his chair toppled over with a loud crash, causing the other teachers in the staff room to jump up in shock. Everyone had been held spellbound by the lively voice from the speakers.

oooOooo

Kagine-sensei slammed his fist on the door of the PA room. That no-good brat must have jammed the door with a chair. After-school detention! No, that was too good for the delinquent. Student Kurosaki, prepare to be suspended!

"Open the door this instant, student Kurosaki!" he roared, as he jiggled the door knob again.

"Whatever are you saying, sensei? I'm standing right here!"

The stunned teacher turned around to stare unbelievingly at the horribly familiar head of orange-hair. A look of pure stubbornness came upon his face. He ignored Ichigo and turned once more to bang his hand down on the door.

"I don't know what you think you're up to, student Kurosaki! But, you're going to be expelled!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. Sheesh, some people! He took a few steps back, pulled back his foot and gave the door a jarring kick, slamming it straight open.

"..time does not permit, my audience. Thanks for tuning in to Ra-!" Kon choked, as a fist closed around his neck and wringed him hard.

His beady eyes met Ichigo's angry ones. Gameover, Kon.

Ichigo hissed softly at him, "You. You are going to be thread when I finish with you."

Kagine-sensei rushed into the room screaming for the blood of the culprit. But, where was the guilty party? There was no one there. Empty -except for Ichigo who stood sullenly in the center of the room, a dirty toy clutched in his fingers.

Had it just squeaked? Was that thing alive?

The teacher felt all the hairs on his arms and the back of the neck stand again. There was a feeling of weakness about his knees. He knew it. All along he had suspected that there was something off about this awful boy. It had only served to confirm his suspicions that this delinquent was dabbling in the occult when he had recognized the familiar orange-headed face on that circus-freak Don Kanonji show.

And look now, the menace had attracted some sort of spook to the school PA room! Kami-sama, the place was probably haunted! That explained it all.

Ichigo coughed. "Maybe.. he jumped out the window."

Just before Kagine-sensei slumped to the floor in a dead faint, one thought passed through his mind.

Kurosaki, you fool! It's the third floor up here.

oooOooo

Kurosaki Ichigo stood before the school principal.

"Please, explain the situation to me, Kurosaki-kun. Kagine-sensei swears that you're somehow involved in that joke. Although, given that even your class teacher vouches for you, claiming that you were in her class, I'm prepared to listen to what you have to say." The principal smiled, "He wishes for me to grant him the permission to supervise your washing of all 80 school toilets. So, the truth please, Kurosaki."

The truth? You want the honest-to-goodness truth? My possessed soft-toy did it, sensei. Right, like hell anyone would believe that!

The damned truth was stranger than fiction. And that was the story of his life ever since the day Rukia had stepped into the pretty picture.

Kurosaki opened his mouth. And he lied. He lied all the way to freedom.

Scrub 80 school toilets? So sorry Kagine-sensei, but not in this universe!


Author's Note: Kagine-sensei was most sadly abused in this story. I'm sure the real man isn't so bad. Kagine is the discipline-upholding teacher who popped in shortly after Ichigo appeared on National TV because of Don Kanonji's show.

My apologies that this Third Monday morning was later than usual. Makino114 gave an 'idea' that was just too good to resist. So, I took apart this chapter to fit in an extra which will be up soon.

Much thanks to Procrastinator-starting2moro,Shi-Sha Hariken, Gigai-Gurl, Zefrn, Chen0412, Makino114, SHiNiGAMiLENNE, ruukii, RiaKitsuneYoukai, comanderlink, and XxLilyNGxX for reviewing.

Next chapter: The Third Monday morning: the extra chapter.