Disclaimer: All characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.
PA system Blues: The fourth Monday Morning
Two shadows crept across the rooftop of Karakura High. Moving swiftly with practiced ease, they slipped into the PA system room on the third floor.
"Stop fooling around with those old documents. You're supposed to be assisting me, remember?"
The trespasser raising up a dust amongst the school files took the reprimand casually and offered cheerfully in reply, "But, look –records of Karakura High's disciplinary cases! Did you know, some kid actually attacked the principal with a microphone last year? Ah, the high school life!"
With his hands tangled in a mass of wires, the other intruder rolled his eyes heavenwards and sighed, "Why don't you ever show the same interest towards that tower of documents on your table? And here you are –so enthusiastic about some outdated files."
With a slight pout on her lips, the female trespasser reluctantly put down the folders. "Okay. Okay. Don't get your panties in a twist!"
Her cohort shot her a murderous glare and said in a strangled voice, "My what? Mind your language!"
In a few minutes, the two trespassers finished their assigned duty and left the room without setting off any of the school alarms, nor waking the sleeping residents of Karakura town.
oooOooo
"Good morning, Ichigoo..!"
Kurosaki Ichigo curled up into a ball and pulled the blanket over his head in a valiant effort to ignore his father.
"Wakey-wakey, Ichigo! There's a brand new day waiting out there for you!" the elder Kurosaki said, shaking the blankets.
Ichigo offered a muffled snarl in response from beneath the covers. Wiser men would have taken that as a warning to retreat.
The persistent pulling on his blanket soon escalated to an all out tug-of-war between father and son. The blanket tore loudly in two and Ichigo grabbed his half of the plunder.
He defiantly wrapped the small excuse for a blanket around his head. After a moment, he grabbed his pillow and buried his head under that too.
"It's Monday morning. Time to face the world, son!"
Ichigo groaned softly.
Yes, there must be someone on earth who could actually wake up first thing in the morning and wonder, what will today bring?
Ichigo did that too –only, not in the same sickeningly positive way. He knew better.
"Lea'-me-alone! I'm sick!" he yowled.
Finally, he heard his father's footsteps leave the room. Had he given up on the unsuccessful wake-up call? Ichigo waited a few seconds before peeking out to see if the coast was clear. He was suffocating under the stupid pillow.
He was met with the sight of one Kuchiki Rukia standing forbiddingly over his form, arms crossed. She stared back silently at him, a look of disapproval clearly written on her face.
Ichigo groaned loudly. Please, not her! He buried his face in his pillow. He'd rather breathe cotton than to face that. Rukia was giving him the silent treatment. But, it was the sort of silence that spoke a thousand words. And he could feel them pressing down upon him –nagging, and nagging, and nagging at him.
She looked as if she could stand there all day. But he couldn't stand it one second longer.
"What?" he snapped irritably.
"What are you doing?" she replied coolly. "There's no reason for you to cut school. We don't need to make school announcements anymore."
Ichigo mentally corrected her. We have both been issued official notices that we're banned from the PA system. There's a difference.
"If you're smart, you'll stay home today too," he said in a cryptic tone.
Rukia raised her eyebrows.
Ichigo continued in his doom-filled voice, "It's Monday. And something always goes wrong. There's something freaky about the whole business!"
Rukia rolled her eyes.
"It's uncanny, I tell you!" said the boy who was the furthest thing from normality himself.
Ichigo's bedroom door flew open with a crashing slam to the wall. Their attention was immediately centered upon Kurosaki Isshin.
His father stepped in proudly, brandishing a reagent bottle in his hands. He had even donned on his white lab coat. Ichigo's face darkened.
"Ichigoo..! No fear, Daddy's here to make you feel better!"
The boy in bed heard alarms going off in his head.
"Open up, my son!" Kurosaki Isshin cooed, with his hands in a death-grip on Ichigo's jaw.
"There's a poison label on that bottle, you quack!" Ichigo howled.
"All medicines can be poisonous. No harm taken in moderation."
"Do you even understand the meaning of moderation? That's a bowl you're using!"
The dark liquid came sloshing over the rim of the bowl near Ichigo's lips. The sharp smell would have made his lips curl in disgust had he not been so intent on keeping them tightly sealed.
"Why so scared, sonny-boy? I used to give you a spoonful of this when you were a little tot. This stuff works! You'd be out of bed in no time!"
Right. Like any sane man would linger long in his sick bed with that deadly concoction fed hourly? He'd be leaping out before that stuff put him in his death bed.
"Now since you're a grown man, I increased the dosage."
Ichigo stared, horrified. The man was trying to murder his own flesh and blood by poisoning.
There was a gleam in Kurosaki Isshin's eyes.
"An opening!" he yelled, pinching Ichigo's nose tightly shut.
Ichigo opened his mouth to gasp for air and his father poured the foul medicine down his throat.
The unfortunate Ichigo sprayed the liquid out in an effort to preserve his life. Rukia dodged the tiny airborne droplets with a cry of disgust. Kurosaki Isshin watched triumphantly as his victim jumped out of bed and into a school uniform in record time.
oooOooo
Ichigo gagged. There was a putrid aftertaste on his tongue.
"Was it that bad?" Rukia asked, as she walked beside him to school.
"You have no freakin' idea. It's beyond imagination," he said darkly.
Then, he caught her eyes and his lips curved into a mischievous smile. "I guess I could give you a taste if you want a sample of it," he said, voice layered with innuendo.
Rukia stopped, and stepped right up to him, her eyes perfectly serious. Ichigo swallowed hard. He could feel his heartbeat going crazy.
What in the world had he gotten himself into now?
She was so close, so close.. too close for comfort! Move, goddammit, move!
Rukia stood slightly on tip-toe. She reached her hand up and buried her fingers in Ichigo's hair.
She gave his tousled hair a hard yank, and whispered, "Don't ever say things like that to me."
With a parting smirk, she flounced off ahead of him, skirts flipping slightly.
When Ichigo had recovered from his momentary speechlessness, he yelled indignantly, "And don't you pull my hair like that again! What're you trying for? Don't give me a bald spot!"
Author's Note: The fourth Monday morning; Also known as the Last Monday Morning. Yes, PA system Blues is ending soon. Since this last episode is a little long, I'm breaking it up into 2 separate chapters.
You know the funny thing about innuendoes? You can never say them to the people you like. It gets stuck halfway in your throat. Because it would be so horrifying if it actually came out, unfiltered by the part of you that knows better.
Shi-Sha Hariken, inugrlluvsanime, Makino114, SHiNiGAMiLENNE, xXxMysticalDreamerxXx, ruukii, Classiccomeback , tenshi, the light of hope , dOkei... reviews much appreciated!