"Buffy?" Dawn's voice was tentative, as she was unsure of what sort of mood her sister was in. Buffy had been incredibly hard to read lately and Dawn knew that if she was going to broach the subject of Angel she would have to tread lightly, lest she get her head torn off. "Are you asleep?"

"Yes," Buffy muttered as her sister stepped fully into the room. She smiled at her afterwards to let her know her entrance was not completely intrusive. They were after all, sharing this room, and Buffy hadn't exactly been terribly attentive towards Dawn lately. Angel was certainly right about that much.

"You do a wonderful impression of someone who's awake then," Dawn replied with a wry smile.

"What's up?" Buffy asked, deciding to cut to the chase.

"That's what I wanted to know." Dawn answered simply. "What's up?"

"You heard everything I did about Adamson's plan," Buffy said, confusion lacing her tone. "I don't know what more I can tell you."

"This isn't about the big bad political candidate Buffy." Dawn told her seriously. "I want to know what's up with you. I want to know what's wrong."

"Nothing." Buffy told her firmly. "Nothing that you need to worry about OK? I'm fine."

"I don't think you are." Dawn persisted. "I think you're drowning and refusing to let anybody throw you a lifeline. Now I don't know what happened in that basement between you and Angel, or what went on while Connor and I were at Wolfram and Hart but..."

"What happens between Angel and I is nobody's business you got that?" Buffy snapped angrily, unnerved by Dawn's perceptiveness into the situation. "And don't even get me started on what happened while you were out stupidly risking your life on a mission I didn't even want you on."

"Don't turn this around on me." Dawn ordered with a shake of her head. "You're in trouble, Buffy. I want to help you."

"Since when did you become the one in charge?" Her sister challenged. "As for me 'not turning it around', you are sixteen years old Dawn, have you forgotten that? I have every right to be angry with you for doing something so dangerous as going with Angel's son to break into that law firm!"

"What was I supposed to do, let him go alone?" Dawn exclaimed.

"Yes!" Buffy replied, as if the answer were obvious. "He was raised in a hell dimension! He can take care of himself. You on the other hand..."

"He may be able to take care of himself, but that doesn't mean he should have to always be alone." Dawn said firmly. "It's not fair of Angel to just ask him to risk his life like that."

"What makes you suddenly the expert on the father-son dynamic huh?" Buffy was beginning to worry about just have involved Dawn was with Connor.

"I talked to him, it's that simple." Dawn replied in exasperation. "You've barely looked at him twice Buffy except to either threaten or bark orders so don't even try to tell me that you know him better than I do."

"Maybe you do," Buffy conceded darkly, "but maybe I don't want you to."

"Oh, so now you think you can control who I choose to be friends with?" Dawn exclaimed, unable to believe what she was hearing.

"You two are more than friends, and we both know it." Buffy stated. Dawn folded her arms, and glared at her sister.

"Maybe we are, but I don't see how this is a problem." She shook her head in confusion and anger. "I don't see how it's your problem."

"It's my problem because I care about you." Buffy shot back. "And I don't trust him. I think he's dangerous."

"That accusation is getting pretty thin." Dawn argued. "You have nothing to go on."

"Other than the simple evidence of where he was raised..."

"Which isn't his fault!" Dawn interrupted.

"And the fact that he tried to kill Angel! Or have you forgotten about that?"

"I haven't forgotten," Dawn admitted. "But he was a different person then. He's gone through a lot and it's going to take a while before he can learn to trust his father, but he will Buffy! I have so much faith in him."

"He's a loose cannon." Buffy said stubbornly. "He's violent and unpredictable, and not someone I want you around. You two could have been killed at that law firm!"

"You really can't stand it can you?" Dawn said, finally seeing through Buffy's words and into true heart of the problem.

"Can't stand what?" Buffy echoed, thrown slightly by the sudden understanding in her sister's tone. Everything about her right now was light years away from the whiny little kid sister she had been for so long. In this moment, Buffy actually saw wisdom and understanding beyond her years within Dawn's eyes and it frightened her. It was the type of wisdom that had been forced upon her when she was sixteen because of the burden of slayerhood. The last thing she ever wanted was for Dawn to grow up that quickly as well. One of them deserved to have a childhood at least.

"You can't stand me being with Connor because you're jealous!" She exclaimed.

"Me? Jealous?" Buffy's laugh was harsh and disbelieving. She seriously started to reconsider her previous thought's about Dawn's sudden maturity. "What could I possibly be jealous of Dawn?"

"You're jealous of what we could have." She replied, a sad note in her voice. While she was sure that she was right about this, it gave her no pleasure to point it out to her sister, even if she had been acting completely unreasonably. "Connor is a part of Angel. He's his son, his blood...an extension of Angel himself almost. I know he's not 'Angel'...he's not even really all that much like him, except for a few physical characteristics and mannerisms, but somehow he's a part of Angel. He's the part you can't touch. Connor and I, we're both human. We're not bound by any cursed soul, or vampiric immortality. I can be with him. I can be with him the way you can never be with Angel and you hate that. You hate that a part of you can touch a part of him and you can't feel it. You hate that we are free to be only for each other when you and Angel are both complete slaves to your birthright and your duties to the world."

"Dawn that's..." Buffy trailed off, feeling as if she had suddenly been punched in the gut and the air had been completely knocked out of her. "That's completely ridiculous. I'm just trying to protect you from making a huge mistake."

"Buffy I'm sorry." Dawn murmured, stepping closer and touching her sister's cheek gently. A tear escaped Buffy's eye and rolled down to where Dawn's finger still lingered. "The last thing I wanted to do was to point that out to you....to bring it all up, but you have to realize. It's not fair. I know that. I wish I could make it different, but I can't."

"I don't want your pity." Buffy spat out, ashamed that Dawn could so easily see just what it was that had been tearing her heart to shreds, when even she hadn't until now.

"It's not pity." Dawn whispered. "I used to envy you so much Buffy. I used to watch you fight evil and I wanted to be you more than anything in the world. You were more than just my cool older sister. You were a hero and not just to me, but to the entire world. I thought you had everything. Even your relationship with Angel seemed romantic to me in all its tragicness. I was just plain old ordinary Dawn Summers, while you..."

"I was the invulnerable action hero right?" Buffy said sarcastically. "The older sister with all the powers, all the attention and the cute, broody boyfriend right?"

"Something like that." Dawn said with a small smile. "But I see things differently now. I understand that the gift you were given, was not something you asked for. I started to see your sacrifices Buffy and I realized how lucky I really am. I wouldn't want to be you for anything in the world. I couldn't handle that responsibility. I couldn't be the hero. But you can, and you are. So I still envy you. I still think you're the cool older sister, but not for the same reasons I did before. You have had everything taken from you and still you keep fighting. I envy your emotional strength...your ability to go on when it seems everything you love is gone. And I think you are the coolest person because you continue to fight, even when it just keeps getting harder and harder and everyone is against you. It takes a real hero not to give up. And I don't pity heroes."

"I'm no hero." Buffy said quietly. "I'm just a slayer. One of me dies, another comes along. We're like a never ending supply of disposable evil fighters. I'll keep fighting and then one day I will die. And so will Faith, and another slayer will be called in her place. Everything we've done, all that we've been through....it'll be reduced to entries in a Watcher's Diary for some other watcher to go through, maybe to try and figure out our mistakes. The world will go on and the slayers will keep dying. Nothing changes. Not terribly heroic."

"Maybe you don't think so right now," Dawn said warmly, "but believe me everything you do, everything you are makes you a hero. It's the courage it takes to keep fighting that I think is so cool, not the actual slayer gig itself. And Connor...well, Connor is every bit as much of a hero as you and his father, not just because he can fight. He's had a life completely void of any joy or happiness and still he finds reasons to smile. He's been through hell, lied to by the man he cared about as a father and ostracized from his real father because of a two hundred year old battle between them. He's had to overcome so much and yet he still fights with us. That's what I believe in. That's what I look up to and trust about him."

"Dawn I..." Buffy was unable to speak any further, for fear of letting the tears overtake her. The despair of her entire future suddenly washed over her with mind numbing clarity. Dawn was right. Connor was a hero, and she had indeed been jealous. So much so that she could barely breath. Her sister had been given everything while she had only had her life ripped away. Her sister was made out of her, as Connor was out of Angel and they were the closest that she would ever get to living a life with the man she loved. All she would ever be able to do is watch them and that mere fact alone broke her heart all over again. She looked at the ground, wanting to disappear from this place, never to return.

"Buffy please don't cry," Dawn pleaded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"Could you..." she hesitated slightly, "could you just go? I kind of want to be alone right now."

"Sure no problem," Dawn told her with a nod. "I love you Buffy."
Buffy could only give her sister a half hearted smile as she left the room and headed back downstairs to help the others research.