Elizabeth piled the folders on her desk. She was done with the first reports on the outpost. Aside from the camouflaging shield, they hadn't found much useful technology so far. The outpost was not much more than a bunker. The medical data might prove useful, but the analysis would take weeks. For the moment, Carson had other priorities. He had been able to shut off the Wraith implant inside Radek's head without incident, but they were still waiting for Radek to wake up.
In the mean time the new ZPM was keeping all of Atlantis busy. Elizabeth had just come back from a meeting with Sergeant Bates, the temporary head of the military, discussing the defence capabilities of the City. Their supply of drones was very finite, maybe enough to bring down one, if they were lucky, two Hive ships. They hadn't brought any large weaponry from Earth; no one had expected they'd need it. Missiles hadn't been on the packing list. Even if they had tried to manufacture them, they didn't have the materials for it. Short of asking the Genii for help, they'd have to do with the drones they had.
Still, even if Earth couldn't help them in the fight against the Wraith, the power expenditure of making contact would be worth it. The opportunity to write to loved ones would do them good after the trying months behind them. For a few families, she wouldn't have good news, but they deserved to know what had happened to their sons, daughters, husbands and wives. She would make the announcement later, giving everyone time to prepare a message.
oOo
Everything was white and wrapped in cotton. Radek was drifting slowly towards consciousness. The noises around him started to separate into individual voices. Something clicking. Teyla and Ford were there. What were they doing in his quarters? Radek was confused. He didn't understand what was going on. He tried to remember, but nothing came to him. He couldn't remember what had happened. Panic started welling up in him and he opened his eyes, searching for a familiar location.
Grey ceiling. Teyla and Ford sitting a few meters away, hunched over something he couldn't see. The clicking came from the other side of his bed. Rodney was sitting there, working in his laptop. When he saw Rodney, looking terrible, his left eye and hands bandaged the rest of his face cut and burnt, Radek knew that there was something that he should remember.
"Rodney? Are you all right?" It seemed like the right thing to ask. Rodney looked like he should be in bed.
Rodney looked up from his laptop. "Radek! You're awake. I'll get Carson." Rodney made to get up, obviously in pain.
"Wait." Radek stopped him. "What happened?"
"It's a long story. You had a Wraith implant inside your head. Carson found a way to disable it, using a localized electrical charge." Rodney explained.
Radek's shock must have showed on his face, because Rodney went on. "Carson told us it worked fine. I'm sure it's going to be all right." Rodney was floundering.
"I don't remember." Radek whispered.
"Carson!" Rodney called when he spotted the doctor at the back of the infirmary. Carson came over to them.
"Rodney, back into bed with you." Carson ordered, when he found Rodney still sitting in the chair at Radek's bedside. Rodney shot him a dark look, but got up. Carson turned towards Radek.
"Do you feel up to answering a few questions?" Carson asked.
Radek nodded.
"Do you know who you are?" Carson asked, testing Radek's memory.
"Dr. Radek Zelenka. I know I'm on Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy and I know that you are Dr. Beckett." Radek said.
"That's good to hear." Carson smiled. "Now, do you remember what happened?"
"No, Rodney told me something about a Wraith implant, but I don't remember any of it. What happened?" Radek asked anxiety in his voice.
Carson pulled up a chair. "First of all, you are going to be fine. The bulk of your memory is fine. The minor memory loss is a side effect of a procedure I used to disable the Wraith implant."
"Was there a Wraith attack on the City?" Radek asked, suddenly concerned.
"No, the City is fine. You were on a mission, with Sergeant Bates. You were captured by the Wraith. They let you go after implanting you with an implant. It acted as a homing beacon for the Wraith. I found a way to disable to implant with an electrical charge. It's no longer transmitting the signal."
"That's good." Radek said. "What's going to happen to the implant now?"
"Well, there is no way to remove it, not that we knew of. From what I can tell, it's not causing you any harm at the moment. The seizure you had a few days ago was most likely due to the activity of the implant. I want you to stay on Lamotrigin for at least another week, before we can try weaning you off." Carson explained.
"I see." Radek was still confused and not just a little frightened. Waking up and learning that he suddenly had some Wraith device inside his head, that he'd had a seizure, that he'd lost an entire week of memories. It seemed all too much to absorb.
Carson continued, not noticing that his patient was lost in thought. "I asked Dr. Biro to do a more detailed neurological assessment with you once feel up to it. Just some tests to check on your memory and concentration. I don't think there is anything to worry about, but I want to make sure."
Radek didn't ask, because he knew that if Dr. Biro's tests turned up something wrong, Dr. Beckett wouldn't be able to do anything about it. The doctor hadn't said it in so many words, but Beckett had been expecting complications when he'd disabled the implant. Radek didn't have all the fact, but he understood that it couldn't have been easy for his friends. An implant that transmitted a homing beacon to the Wraith was an imminent threat to the entire expedition. If the only way to disable it was a risky procedure, that might leave him with permanent impairments, it was a fair trade-off.
"Thank you, doctor." Radek said tiredly. Right now, he didn't want to think about the implications. Sleep sounded like a good idea. He still had questions about the time he'd lost, but they could wait.
"Get some rest, it'll do you good."
oOo
Radek was woken by the clatter of dishes. He'd fallen asleep with his glasses on and they'd been knocked askew in his sleep. Rightening them, he pushed himself up. A tiny redhead was brining in dinner. The smell of soomi root stew wafted over in his direction.
Ford was sitting in his bed across the infirmary, propped up on what looked like at least five pillows, accepting a tray from the red headed nurse. The nurse headed for his side of the infirmary. Rodney, in the bed left of his, was curled up on his side, facing away from Radek. He looked asleep, but Radek couldn't tell.
"Dr. McKay! Time to eat." The nurse announced in a cheery voice and placed the tray on the table beside Rodney's bed. Rodney just grunted in response and didn't rise.
"I know soomi root stew isn't exactly your Athosian favourite, but you have already missed lunch. You really have to eat, Dr. McKay." The nurse urged. "Well, I'll leave it here, in case you change your mind later."
She walked over to Radek's bed with the last tray.
"Dr. Zelenka. It's good to see you awake in time for the meal. Soomi root stew." She handed him the tray.
"Thank you, Erin." Radek read her name from her uniform.
Erin left to check on John. Radek started on the stew. It really wasn't one of his favourites. The Athosian cuisine was filling and simple, but not very tasty. He was half way through his bowl when his gaze fell on Rodney again.
"Rodney, you should eat. The stew is even nastier when it's cold."
Rodney didn't answer.
"You can't hide, Rodney. I know you aren't sleeping. Nurse red head with the loud voice woke you up." Radek said, putting his food aside. He slid out of bed, carefully putting weight on his legs. He was a bit unsteady, but he could walk. Three steps and he was at Rodney's bed. Something was torturing Rodney and Radek had the feeling that it was more than his physical injuries.
Radek reached out and placed his hand on an unmanaged spot on Rodney shoulder.
"Rodney! Let's go get some Athosian fruit rolls. If we hurry, there will still be some left."
Caught in surprise, Rodney turned around to face Radek. "What?"
"You obviously don't like the stew, so we get something else to eat." Radek declared. He had to shake up Rodney somehow.
"We can't go to the cafeteria." Rodney mumbled.
"I have seen you out of bed." Radek pointed out.
"You shouldn't be out of bed." Rodney countered. "You have a Wraith implant in your brain and Carson shocked you less than six hours ago!"
"It looks like I'm stuck with the implant and Carson said I'm fine." Radek lied. "Now get out of bed or the fruit roll will really be gone."
"We'll catch hell from Carson." Rodney protested.
"The nurse is in the office, eating. She won't be back until it's time for our meds." Radek argued.
oOo
Radek and Rodney had slowly shuffled towards the cafeteria. The day shift was still at work, so they had only run into one of the marines of their way. If the soldier had been surprised to see them, he had not shown it. He'd probably thought the scientists to be simply absent minded when they scuttled along the hallway, heads down, leaning close together.
The cafeteria was nearly empty. A group of soldiers sat in the back, but they were immersed in a conversation, not paying any attention to the two scientists entering the cafeteria. Rodney suddenly wasn't so sure anymore that it had been such a good idea to sneak out of the infirmary. There he had been safe from the prying stares and pitying glances of people. He had caught the first glance of his own face after the explosion when he'd gone to the bathroom. His vision had been blurred that first day after he'd woken up, but he'd still stood in shock at the red, blistered and cut mass in the mirror. Carson had said that a lot would heal, that the blisters would vanish and that the raw, red colour would make way to healthy skin, but he had also said that the deepest cuts would leave scars. Scars that would go from angry red welts to thin white lines as the years went by. But they would never fade completely.
While Rodney hesitated in the doorway, Radek walked up to the counter. He browsed the display of foods for the evening.
Private Deroche came out from the kitchen.
"Dr. Zelenka! I heard that you were better, but I didn't know that you were already out of the infirmary." When Deroche spotted Rodney, he stared for a moment, before he caught himself. "Good to see you too, Dr. McKay. I have a pot of coffee and some leva berry muffins left from breakfast. You look like you could use some." Deroche started putting the food on a tray.
"Here you go." Deroche out the tray on the counter.
Radek took it. "Thank you."
He and Radek headed to one of the back table. The military men still didn't pay them any mind, immersed in a conversation of their own.
Radek sat down and put the tray between himself and Rodney. He poured them both a cup of coffee and bit into a muffin.
"So, what has been happening?" Radek asked lightly.
"We found a ZPM on an Ancient Outpost. Elizabeth is preparing to contact Earth." Rodney said darkly.
Radek's face lit up. "That's great new. With a new ZPM, we can finally test all the Ancient systems..."
"Kavanaugh maybe. He and Jamison lead the science department." Rodney ranted. "We are damaged goods. I'm just waiting for Elizabeth to send us back to Earth."
"That's not true, Rodney. Why would she send you back to Earth? I hate to say this since it will only feed your big ego, but Atlantis needs you." Radek said.
"Atlantis doesn't need a half blind scientist." Rodney snapped.
Radek hadn't known that Rodney's eye was that serious, but it went to explain Rodney's behaviour. The scientist was afraid and didn't know how to deal with his situation.
"I don't believe what I'm seeing here!" A familiar voice exclaimed behind them. They'd been found out. Radek turned, smiling weakly. "Dr. Beckett! Rodney wouldn't eat in the infirmary, so I took him here."
Carson cocked his head. Now Radek noticed Elizabeth standing behind Carson. "Rodney, Radek. Back to the infirmary. I'm keeping you there for a reason. You could have just asked for someone to go down to the cafeteria." Carson scolded. "Can you make it back on your own or do I need to send for a gurney?"
"No." Rodney shook his head emphatically. He felt pretty terrible, but he wanted to be spared the embarrassment at all costs.
"All right. I'll call Erin to take you back."
oOo
Elizabeth sipped from her cup and grimaced. The Athosian tea had a unique flavour. She had been drinking it for two days now and if it was an acquired taste, the acquiring took some time. It was disgusting. She put the cup down and turned to her bowl of soomi root stew. Before she could eat, Carson spoke.
"I'm worried about Rodney. He isn't dealing well with what happened. He is withdrawn, won't eat. I was surprised to see him with Zelenka just now."
"His behaviour was pretty erratic when he first got back from the mission." Elizabeth remarked. „You think that this is related?"
"Possibly. This is not my field. We are all under extreme stress here. Rodney had been through an awful lot since we got here. I wouldn't be surprised if it started catching up with him. Now he has to deal with his injuries and I think he's afraid." Carson said.
"What can we do?"
"I'll inform Kate and get her involved. She was getting through to him earlier; she might be able to help him again. At the moment, Rodney has too much time to brood. As soon as he is up to it, we should try to get him involved in his work again. Only light duty for a few hours a day at the beginning, but I think it will help him get his mind off things." Carson replied between two spoons full of stew.
"I will get in touch with Dr. Kavanaugh. He will find something for Rodney." Elizabeth decided, taking another sip from her tea.
"I think you should let Rodney chose his own project. Now, I'm not in the loop with his research, but I'm sure he was working on something before this all started." Carson said.
"Rodney isn't in charge of the department anymore. Kavanaugh and Jamison will assign him to a project group like anyone else." Elizabeth said firmly, feeling that this conversation was headed for a confrontation. She didn't feel like justifying her personnel decision to Carson but she knew that the doctor cared about Rodney.
"Rodney has been under a lot of stress lately. Changing his work conditions while he's still recovering isn't a good idea. Rodney is used to being is own boss." Carson argued.
"From what I have seen in the last two weeks, Rodney is not fit to lead a department. It takes more than a brilliant mind. I have to do what's best for the expedition, Carson. Rodney has worked in research groups before; you know how things work in academic research."
Carson nodded. Elizabeth had a point, she had to look out for the expedition and Rodney hadn't been very stable lately.
Elizabeth wrapped her hands around her cup, letting the warmth seep into her hands. "Did you already write a message for your family?" Elizabeth changed the subject.
"No, I haven't. I have the night shift today. The night's long." Carson replied.
oOo
Sensations were slowly bleeding into the void John was floating in. In the beginning, there were just brief blips, micro seconds of sensory input that left him wanting for more. A sharp sound. Soft material against his skin. A flicker of pain.
The shards of sounds joined each other to form a chain of beeps. The pain took up constant residence in his head. Warm fabric materialized against his skin. John was confused. Something had happened, something important. His memories flitted past him like a movie. The pirates had captured him, drugged him, and prepared him to be sold into slavery. He had waited for the last of his freedom to disappear, but the memory wasn't there. All he could recall was pain, hunger, thirst and cold. There had been dreams, nightmares of a twisted Atlantis. That was what he could recall clearly. What puzzled him where the other memories. He had an image of the cell in his mind, but he wasn't alone. Rodney was there, but he was dead, on the floor, covered in blood. Aiden was there, too, pointing a gun at him. There were other memories that made no sense. He was back on Atlantis, standing on the North Tower with Rodney. Rodney was begging him, telling him that everything was real, that it was not a dream. Then he'd fallen over the edge. After that, something had happened, he had been conscious on some level but there had been nothing but cold and darkness. All knowledge of his past had been gone. Everything was fading fast from his mind, like a dream in the morning.
John opened his eyes. The lights were dimmed in the room. The ceiling was grey and didn't give much away. John turned his head, regretting the move instantly when it caused the pain in his head to explode. His eyes watered and his vision blackened for a moment. When he had recovered, he took in his surroundings. An IV was stuck in his hand and what looked like a heart monitor stood next to his bed. Another piece of machinery stood next to the heart monitor, but John couldn't identify it. The infirmary once again. John wasn't sure how that had happened. If his memory was correct, he couldn't have survived that fall. John tried to push himself up on his elbows, but found that he could hardly move his arms. His limbs simply wouldn't obey him. All he got was a feeble twitch. John frowned, somewhat alarmed. Spinal injury? No, he wouldn't be able to move it all. Still, he would really like to talk to Beckett right now. Concentrating on his right arm, he tried to will it to reach for the call button. He had moved his hand maybe two inches when the doctor appeared, making a round to check on his patients.
John noticed that he wasn't the only patient at the moment. There were three other occupied beds in the infirmary. When Carson checked in the patient next to him, John called out.
"Doc?" At least that was what he was trying to say. What came out was nothing more than a strangled gasp.
Carson heard him and was at his bed in an instant.
"Major Sheppard? Relax; don't try to talk just yet." Carson pulled out his pen light and quickly checked the reaction of John's pupils. Pleased that they were reacting equally, he put the penlight away and turned back to John who was starting to look pretty alarmed.
"Major, you have been unconscious for quite a while." Carson raised the bed to a semi-sitting position and held a cup of water with a straw for John. After John had drunk, he closed his eyes for a moment.
"This real?" John whispered, not trusting his voice yet.
"I assure you. This is as real as it gets. Do you feel up to answering some questions?" Carson asked.
John nodded. He had quite a few questions himself, but he had been through the routine before.
"Do you know who you are?" Carson asked.
"Major John Sheppard." John whispered.
"Do you know where we are?"
"Atlantis, the Pegasus Galaxy."
"Do you know what happened?"
"I think I took a header down the tower...I don't understand...the pirates held me prisoner. I don't understand why I'm still alive." John whispered.
"You are recovering from a severe head injury." Carson chose his words carefully. "You remember correctly. The pirates help you captive for three weeks. You took a bullet to the head in the rescue."
When Carson saw John's shock, he went on.
"It didn't penetrate your skull. You suffered a skull fracture. There was swelling and some bleeding into your brain. It took a few days before we could get you back to Atlantis. You woke up a few days ago, but...but you were confused. We think it was due to your head injury. You and Rodney got into a confrontation and you fell of the Tower. Luckily the City has a failsafe system and you were rescued. We all have been waiting for you to wake up ever since."
Images flashed through John's mind. He saw himself struggle for the gun with Aiden. It had been an accident. Rodney's body in the corner, covered in blood.
"I remember, sort of. It's there, but it's all jumbled." John said.
"Give it time." Carson soothed. "How's the pain?"
"Head's pretty bad." John admitted. "I can't move right."
"I'll get you something for the pain in a minute. Your muscles haven't had much of a work-out in the past few weeks. You'll need some physical therapy to rebuild your strength. But you're right; you aren't in the clear yet with your head injury. There is still some swelling, which is responding to medication. But to be honest, your injury has gone untreated for a long time. In our favour, the pressure in your skull has been building up over time, reducing the damage." Carson said. He delivered so much bad news lately. These people were his friends and he couldn't help them. He wasn't used to treating his friends. It made everything so much harder. He was no longer losing patients, he was losing friends.
"The bottom line, doc?" John asked in a hoarse voice. He needed to know.
"You will improve. After the swelling has gone down and you have done physical therapy, you have a good chance of being mobile again." Carson said in a low voice.
John turned his head away. It was over. Everything just gone. He didn't notice when Carson returned and injected a pain killer into his IV. He drifted off to blackness.
TBC