Woohooo! Chapter FIVE! I'm beginning to get a big head.
Hermione didn't want to be near anyone. Her practical nature told her she was being ridiculous, which is why she allowed to healers to visit her day after day. They were making her scars heal and disappear. But she had wounds she thought would never go away. Every time one of the healers tried to touch her, she would jump. Her dreams were haunted with visions of his cold eyes and his icy hands running up and down her. She felt filthy and worthless. "I'm horribly scarred, and no one is going to ever want to touch me again." She thought disdainfully. She knew it was a stupid thought, but days in that basement had made her mood dismal.
This dismal mood also played host to a shameful thought. "I've been spending all of this time in here, and I'm getting in the way of Harry's task." This thought kept her occupied with hours of books. She hadn't showered since before she was taken, but the only thing she concerned herself with were the tattered old whispers of horcruxes in random spell books. Books were yet again her chosen escape.
She tried not to think of Ron. She tried not to think of the pained look on his face as he fed her the water. Of the panic and rage in his eyes when he lifted her from that awful room. Even of the anguish she picked up on as he tried everyday to come in and see her. Once or twice, her gray thoughts would float back to that declaration of love in the mirror. "He was just worried about me," she thought. "He would never feel that way if I wasn't in danger."
She shoved all thoughts from her memory as she braved a look into the mirror in Ginny's room. She looked atrocious. It was 3 a.m. Since everyone was asleep, she thought it would be a good time to take a bath. She needed to get out of this dimly lit room anyway.
She grabbed some clean pajamas, long pants and long sleeves so no one could see her scars, and padded cautiously toward the bathroom. She nearly tripped over Ron. "He's been sitting here all night!" she thought. But her surprise was stymied as Ron began to mumble, "Keep your fucking hands off her!" in his sleep. She feared she would try to comfort him if she stayed there any longer, so she went on to the bathroom.
The water was scalding, which suited Hermione just fine. She thought she would never get the filth off of her. She grabbed the fall spice bath gel from the cupboard to make her bubbles. As she was lying peacefully in the water, having scrubbed her hair and body, she heard a soft rapping on the door. She froze. She was naked and scared, now, feeling too exposed and too far from her room. "I'm busy," she said, simply. "Come back later." "Hermione?" Ginny's whisper could be heard outside the door. "Oh. Ginny. Come in. Just don't wake up Ron." The door opened and closed quietly. Ginny looked at Hermione with trepidation. "It's good to see you out and about." She attempted to say casually. "Well I figured it was time for a bath before the Malfoy stench was stuck on me forever." Hermione seemed shocked at the intimate thought she had just revealed. But she didn't feel frightened and she didn't want to run. Ginny's gaze was so warm and comforting that Hermione felt more at ease than she had in the past week.
"I hope you're feeling better." Ginny said as she sat down next to the tub. "It seems like you haven't even cried yet." Ginny added. "I haven't." Hermione said. "I'm too afraid to be so weak. I feel like my recovery is in the way of Harry finishing his task. I can't look at Ron without feeling guilty. I can't cry. I can't bring stress on anyone else." Hermione said weakly. "For someone so smart, you're being fucking stupid." Ginny said, and Hermione looked affronted. "Harry has been so worried about you he'd be pacing right now if he wasn't bedridden. And Ron. Well, Ron blames himself for you being taken in the first place. He won't leave that spot by your door. Your boys love you. We all do. Merlin! What is wrong with you guys? Why do I have to keep assuring everyone that they are loved?" Ginny said, very frustrated. "You're right. I've been a fool. I'll try to come out tomorrow." Hermione conceded. She jumped as she heard another knock on the door.
"Ginny? Whom are you talking to?" Harry said. Hermione sunk lower in the tub. "Hermione." Ginny called back "Oh. Um. Well. I'll leave you to it." Harry said awkwardly, though he wanted nothing more than to rush in and take Hermione in his arms. "Wait, Harry." Hermione said. She carefully got out of the tub and dressed herself in her pajamas. Ginny got a sight of her scars and began to cry. "Ginny, don't worry. They don't hurt anymore, and the healers are doing their best to get rid of them." Ginny embraced Hermione, and Hermione felt warmth in this contact. She'd missed all the hugs from her friends. "Okay Harry, you can come in." Hermione called.
Harry bursts through the door and rushed over to hug Hermione, but she involuntarily jumped back. "Sorry, I'm still a little squeamish I guess." She apologized. "I wish I would have killed Malfoy." Harry said through clenched teeth. "Don't say that, Harry. You did the right thing." Hermione said. "I'll get better. Or at least I'll try to." As she said that she walked over to Harry and carefully embraced him. He grabbed her enthusiastically and began to cry. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. I…" But Hermione had shushed him. "I don't want you blaming yourself. We're all in this together." Hermione said. This trip out was proving way more beneficial than books.
"Speaking of all of us…" Harry said. "Ron will be really happy to hear you came out. He's been driving himself mad with grief. Yesterday, I saw him just staring at your door. You should talk to him." Harry added. "I'll talk to him. But I can't tonight. I may lose my grip if I try tonight. I'll do it tomorrow."
Hermione left the bathroom and went back to bed, careful not to wake Ron. Tomorrow was going to be a hard day. Hermione began to prepare herself for that look in Ron's eyes.