Another new chapter!

Instead of going straight home after he had got his bike from where he had left it hours before Charlie cycled to Cassie's house as he felt she deserved an answer as to why he'd been acting so weird and depressed recently. As he rode up her drive he could see Cassie's face staring out of the window waiting for him. For the past few weeks Charlie had not been the greatest friend to her that he should have been, he'd been cranky, moody and no much fun to be around at all but still she had put up with him. With their other friends he had been he funny, easy going guy that they had come to know and accept into their group, he was the same dutiful son to Jack and Sam as he had once been, helping them out when they weren't sure what to do and he also acted the same with Joey an Sean as before. But when he was alone with Cassie she seemed able to pull away all of his masks and expose the real Charlie O'Neill.

Charlie let himself into Janet's without even knocking as he spent almost as much time at her house as he did his own Janet had become accustomed to having him around. Cassie was sat in the same position as Charlie had seen her outside. "Hey Cass" Charlie said, unsure as to what mood she would be in

"Where were you today? You promised me you'd be at school by lunch, then I went round your house like you said to and you weren't there. Then I rang your house and Mrs Hess thought you were with me so I had to lie and say you were and you'd probably be home late tonight cos we were watching a movie." She said obviously very annoyed, "and I have no idea why I lied for you considering the foul mood you've been in with me lately."

"Sorry Cass I've had some stuff I had to work through but that's over now so I can just go back to being the lovable Charlie O'Neill that everyone adores." He said grinning, Cassie let out a strangled laugh she never could stay mad at him for long even when he'd done something absolutely terrible. "So where's Janet anyway?"

"She's at work sulking cos her mystery mad has had to go away again."

"So in other words it's defiantly Daniel then cos he's on a mission with SG-1and every time her mystery man's away so is Daniel"

"Yeah it's Daniel alright not that she'll ever admit it and don't think you're getting away with such a lame excuse as to why you've been such a pig lately O'Neill" she said poking Charlie in the shoulder.

Charlie's grin quickly disappeared although he'd promised himself he'd tell her it was still a big step from saying he would to actually saying it. Cassie felt his mood change instantly and knew that something big was up with him. "Ok let's say that recently I've been feeling…guilty."

"What have you done to feel guilty about?"

"Just let me say what I've gotta say hey Cass. This is hard and you're the first person I've told so do me a favour and just shut up for 5 minutes would you?" Charlie winced the minute he'd said it, he hadn't meant to be so harsh but like his dad he wasn't very good at expressing his feelings. "Sorry, I'll start again." He paused, "ok recently I've been feeling kinda like really guilt. Before it was ok because everything was so different here and this place didn't feel like home.

I mean I basically had to show Sam and Jack what we eat and how we eat it, they were dependant on me to tell them our routine and basically I had to show them how to look after us to cause the least disturbance to Joey and Sean, but now… Now they've got this parenting thing going really well and are used to living with each other and everything and the things they do remind me so much of my original parents that occasionally I find myself forgetting that they aren't my real parents and then when I remember I hate my self for it cos its almost as if what happened didn't happen and they didn't die. But they did so that we had a chance at a life and me forgetting what happened is almost as if I'm forgetting them." Charlie stopped and was quiet for a long time, Cassie had had no idea that he'd been going through this, her heart went out to him, he'd gone through it all alone.

"It was their wedding anniversary today. Dad would get so excited he could hardly sleep he'd have this big surprise planned for mom that he wouldn't tell anyone about, last year he took us all to Disney land for the weekend because mom said months before that she'd always wanted to meet Minnie Mouse. He bundled us in the car and wouldn't tell us where we were going until he pulled up outside it and she saw everyone waiting in the hotel lobby for us, including Minnie Mouse." Charlie smiled at the memory, "I thought that if I didn't remember the way that I last saw them then I would be forgetting about them but today I realised that my parents weren't just soldiers, that wasn't who they were so why should I remember them just for those few minutes of their lives when I saw them dead or dieing when I have so many other memories of them. They're a part of me they made me the guy I am today sure Sam and Jack are now my mom and dad but that's ok cos they're different people, mom and dad will always be with me but now so will Sam and Jack cos they're my parents too. And it's ok if I sometimes forget cos subconsciously I'll always remember.

So in conclusion sorry I've been such a jerk it had nothing to do with you and thanks for letting me get all that off my chest." Charlie looked up from the patch of floor he'd been staring at to find a tear running down Cassie's cheek. "Hey" he said softly "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry" he whispered walking up to her and gently brushing the tear away with the pad of his thumb before drawing her into a hug. Cassie gratefully walked into his embrace placing her head on his chest to listen to his heart beat she fitted into his arms perfectly and was amazed at how safe and content she felt just standing there.

"It's me that should be apologising you were going through all this alone and didn't even notice." She whispered back not wanting to break the spell she felt she was under.

"You helped me more than you'll ever know" Charlie said in a voice that was hardly audible. "I've gotta go but I'll see you tomorrow." He said gently kissing the top of her head before leaving. As he was about to leave he turned and grinned at Cassie, "See ya Casper" He said using the nickname he'd made up but knew she hated.

"Yeah see ya O'Neill" she grinned back knowing he hated her calling him O'Neill almost as much as she hated the name Casper, she had no idea where he got the name from but since he'd started calling her it so had all the other guys in her group. At least Charlie seemed to be back to his old self and felt that he could talk to her, now all she had to do was work out what the strange feelings for Charlie she had felt during their hug were and although really she already knew what they were she really hoped they'd go away because if they didn't their friendship could get really screwed up.

Kinda short I know but the next chapter should be longer. Please review!!