The Old Folk's Home

A Trip to the Jedi Temple Cafeteria

After getting his tray of food from the droids on the serving line, Yoda went to sit at the table where the other 11 members of the Council were sitting. He then jumped on the seat right next to Mace Windu.

In a low voice, Yoda muttered, "So yeah, um, allowed Obi-Wan to train the boy, I did."

Mace threw down his bantha burger. "What? Yoda, how many times have I told you this? I'm the leader of this here Council, so all important decisions should go through me! This lunch is over."

Adi Gallia yelled at Mace, "Oh, sit down and quit trippin'. C'mon Mace, you know 'lil Yoda was just trying to make Kenobi feel better."

Saesee Tiin spoke up, "Yeah, he did see his Master gutted by a horny devil with a bad tattoo job. You know that's gotta be hard on a guy."

Even Piell interjected, "Agree with Mace, I do. Much anger, I sense in the boy."

Yoda yelled back at Even, "Stop trying to talk like me, you should. Always wanted to be me, you did, and look like me, you may, but green skin, you do not have."

Even looked down at his food.

Eeth Koth tried to change the subject. "So how about all those scoopball players getting busted for using steroydspice? Crazy huh?"

Depa Billaba put a quick end to that conversation. "Man! There's a hair in my ramanudles! Gee, I wonder where that came from…OPPO!"

Oppo Rancisis looked down at Depa, "My dear, I am 174 years old, so I believe I have an excuse to have long flowing hair."

Yoda yelled, "No! No excuse! What know you of old age? When 870 years old you reach, look as good as me, you will not. Older than Master Mathoosala I am, and well groomed, I keep my hair."

Yoda could have kept on, but a smile came to his face when he felt someone playing footsies with him.

Yaddle was grinning at him and giving him googley eyes from across the table.

Using the Force, she whispered to Yoda, "Like younger women, do you?"

Yoda raised his eyebrows and whispered back, "Half my age, you are. Something to talk about, we would give them. But warn you, I must. Performance issues, I may have."

Unfazed, Yaddle replied, "Worry, you should not, baby. Vigraspice, they make for that now."

Plo Koon whispered to Adi Gallia, "Look at those two. Always making Force love, thinking no one's looking."

"Actually, I'm looking at Yarael right now."

Plo Koon turned to look at Yarael Poof.

As every young female padawan walked by, Yarael's long neck always bended at the right angle to get a good view of the apprentice's backside.

Adi whispered back at Plo, "I know he's got two brains already. I'm wondering if there's a third brain in there somewhere we don't know about."

Mace stood up and began to walk away from the table.

"Finished, are you?"

"Somebody here has to unravel the mystery surrounding the Sith. And Yoda, I believe you spilled something on yourself again."

Yoda looked down, "Jawa juice, it is."

"I don't think so."