Buffy was in heaven. At least it felt that way. She had walked a little ways with Galendil, not really listening as he talked about how the first task would most likely be her undoing. Before she even knew it, he was gone and she was back in the heavenly place that she had been in after she had jumped off the tower to save her sister.
The idea that none of it was real only crossed her mind once, before she forgot about Galendil and her three trials all together. Suddenly everything that had happened to her in the last year was gone. In her mind it had never happened and all that remained was her sacrifice for Dawn and the peace she now felt, knowing that her journey was over and that she was complete.
It felt like she was drifting for a little while, content to just be here in this place, away from all the pain and difficult decisions that had plagued her human life. There was no pain, no loss, no suffering. She didn't have to fight, didn't have to kill anymore. She was so tired, but had eternity to rest, never worrying for herself or her friends again. Somehow she knew that they would be OK without her, and that feeling above all else was wonderful.
And then her mother was there. Buffy could not only see her, but feel her all around her. She could feel her love, her support, her gentle kindness. She smiled, feeling her heart swell and her mother smiled back.
"Mom?" Her voice was tentative, questioning, as if she expected at any moment for all of this to be a dream that would vanish at any moment.
"It's me Buffy," her mother said gently. "I've been waiting for you."
"I...I lost. I died." She shook her head, remembering her jump off the tower. Suddenly she was consumed with doubt. "I shouldn't be here. I killed myself. I should be..."
"You belong here sweetie," Joyce replied lovingly. "You've fought for so long. It's time you rested. Every slayer dies."
"Part of me wanted it too though," she admitted. "Part of me was so tired of fighting."
"I know," Joyce told her, embracing her finally and allowing Buffy to be a child again. "I watched you. I felt the pain you went through. I saw it all. But it's over now. You are finished and we're together. Everything is going to be OK."
"It is?" Her voice was unsure. Her mother nodded and smiled once more.
"All you have to do is make one last choice." She told her. "Then it will be over."
"What do I have to do?" Buffy was suddenly overcome with worry. She followed her mother, as she walked toward the edge of the paradise they were in and waved her hand over a pool of light, showing Buffy a very familiar image.
It was one of Dawn standing on that tower and watching the portal to Glory's world open before her, her eyes filled with terror.
"Mom what?" She looked to her mother, desperate for reassurance that this image was false, but her mother's eyes gave away none.
"You have to make one last choice Buffy." She told her.
"I already did." She exclaimed desperately. "It's how I ended up here remember? This already happened Mom, it can't be happening again! This is wrong!"
"No sweetie," her mother said regretfully. "This happened after you slit your wrists when Glory captured Dawn."
"When I slit..." she trailed off, not wanting to believe what her mother was saying. "No...I didn't....I wouldn't....I would save Dawn. I know I would save Dawn."
"You only think you saved her Buffy." Joyce continued, oblivious to her daughter's panic. "The truth is, when Glory captured Dawn instead of going into a comatose state, you drove the gang home, went up to take a bath and slit your wrists in the tub."
"No!" She cried out, "no I couldn't have! I wouldn't have!"
"Look at me Buffy," Joyce encouraged her daughter. "Would I lie to you?"
"Why?" She mumbled, tears filling her eyes. "Why am I here? I don't deserve to be here! Not if I...why show me this?"
"You're right Buffy you don't deserve to be here." Joyce said gently. "That's why I'm showing this to you. I'm giving you a choice."
"What kind of choice?" She wondered, dreading her mother's next words.
"A choice for you to set things right." Joyce replied. "Dawn is about to jump into the portal to save the world. She's about to make the sacrifice that you should have made. If she does that, she will go to a hell dimension and suffer unbearable torment. You will be allowed to remain here, on this heavenly plane with me, but you will forever know that your sister suffers so that you can live in peace."
"I can't do that to Dawn." She whispered softly. "What's the other option?"
"You can go back." Joyce stated calmly. "You can give up your life here, and go back to that tower and make the jump. You can save your sister's soul, but you will have to forgo your own because if you jump then you will go to hell. Dawn will live, while you will suffer. What is your choice?"
"I can't....you can't...." She was suddenly too overcome with terror and emotion to think straight. "How can you ask this of me? How can you ask me to leave heaven for hell? How can you ask me to choose eternal suffering in the after life, when that's all I've ever known in life?"
"I'm not asking you Buffy," Joyce replied softly. "I'm telling you that those are your choices. Nobody ever said that they would be fair. Look at your sister. She's getting ready to jump. Does she deserve to suffer in a hell dimension? This is the question you have to ask yourself."
"This isn't right." She whispered, tears coursing freely down her cheeks. "I can't do this to her."
"So don't." Her mother said with a shrug. "You can suffer in her place it's up to you. Why don't you look at the situation in a more objective manner? Dawn has lived a fairly easy life. She hasn't had the trials of being the slayer that you've had, and she hasn't lived long enough to become angry and bitter at the unfairness of it all. You might say that she's barely suffered at all, with the exception of my death. You on the other hand.....well, we both know that being the slayer has brought you nothing but suffering and pain all throughout your life. Who could blame you for ending it really? By that logic you could conclude that you deserve eternal peace far more than she does."
"No!" She cried, unable to believe her mother was even suggesting this. "I can't....I won't....Dawn is an innocent."
"And by that logic you could look at it in a completely different light. She is, as you just said an innocent. Being the slayer was never her birthright. It was never her destiny. It was yours. She shouldn't be standing on that tower giving her life to save the world. That's your job. You were chosen for it, not her. Does she really deserve to suffer for it? Does she really deserve to live in hell because you wouldn't save her when it really mattered?"
"Oh God," Buffy whispered, feeling her heart break cleanly in half as she felt the rightness of her mother's words. "You're right. I have to save her. I have to go back."
"Are you sure Buffy?" Her mother questioned, looking so heartbroken that Buffy almost changed her mind right then and there. "You could stay here Buffy. You wouldn't think about Dawn all that often and we could be together. We could have the time that we never had before."
"How can you say this?" She wondered, recoiling from the callous tone in her mother's voice. "How can you ask me to let Dawn go to hell?"
"She wasn't even real Buffy." Joyce reasoned. "She was created. Why should you die for her? Why should you suffer for her? It never should have been your job to care for her in the first place. That wasn't part of being the slayer. Why should you go to hell for her?"
"It doesn't matter how she was created." Buffy told her mother with a small sob. "She's my sister. I can feel that. The monks may have created memories, but they couldn't create love. That's real. I vowed to protect her because I loved her, not because I had to. And I failed her. I have to make it right."
"I'm your mother Buffy." Joyce pleaded. "I'm real. Are you really going to leave me here all alone?"
"You're in heaven Mom." She said sadly, "it's a happy place. There are worse places to be alone. I have to help. I'm going back. How do I do it?"
"How do you get back you mean? Just close your eyes Buffy and let your heart decide. Once it has, and the decision is final, then you will suffer the consequences."
"I'm so sorry." She told her mother. "There is nothing I would rather do than stay here with you. But I have to protect my sister."
"Goodbye Buffy." Her mother said, her voice completely void of any emotion.
"I love you Mom," she murmured softly before being ripped away from complete peace and happiness for the second time.
When she opened her eyes again, she saw Galendil standing before her looking incredibly annoyed. Suddenly it all came flooding back to her and she realized that none of it had been real. Her mother, the heavenly dimension, her slitting her wrists, Dawn jumping from the tower it had all been part of test.
"It seems you passed the first trial," the demon God said through gritted teeth.
"That was the test? To get me to give up paradise? Why?"
"I wanted to see if you could do it yourself." Galendil said with a shrug. "The first time it wasn't your doing. Your friends pulled you out against your will. I wanted to see if given the choice if you would do it willingly to save your sister. It was silly of me really. I was banking on you opting to stay in heaven instead of willingly leaving. It seems I foolishly underestimated you."
"Yea well a lot of people make that mistake." She said flippantly. "It's the blond hair...throws 'em off all the time."
"Since the first trial was perhaps too easy for you I might have to up the stakes." Galendil smiled maliciously. "Are you ready for your second trial?"
Buffy took a deep breath and shut her eyes, trying desperately to rid herself of the feeling of utter peace and contentment that she knew was now lost to her forever and to concentrate on the fight at hand. She still had two more trials to pass.
"I'm ready." She said confidently. "Bring it on."