Jesse walked into Tommy's bedroom and sat down on the bed cradling his daughter who was fast asleep. He gently lay Pamela in Tommy's bed and kissed her goodnight.
Jesse was grateful that the toddler had fallen asleep so easily for her nap since bedtime had been a struggle as of late. The two of them had stayed up together many nights as Pamela cried out for Becky, who was still caring for her mother in Nebraska. Jesse didn't blame her. He missed Becky, too. They Facetimed with her every day, and sometimes multiple times a day. Since Pamela had been born into the age of modern technology, she knew nothing different and was perfectly satisfied to talk to her mother via a screen. But Jesse knew the difference, and it wasn't quite the same.
Another great thing about this modern technology was the ability to instantly share photos with his wife so that she could see what he and Pamela were up to each day while she was gone. He took out his phone to open the album "Pamela", which he shared with his wife and two older sons, who had also temporarily relocated to Nebraska to be with their grandmother.
He was about to start uploading photos and videos from the wedding, but as he typed in the album's title, another suggested album came up, one that Jesse hadn't looked at in years: "Pam & the Girls".
Jesse's breath hitched in his throat as he tapped to open the album. It was filled with scanned Polaroid photos ranging from DJ's first Christmas to Michelle's first Christmas. And Pam's last Christmas.
Jesse winced at the thought. He could still remember that day so clearly. Michelle was barely a month old and yet his sister had still insisted on hosting the whole family for Christmas dinner. Despite the fact that she was clearly exhausted from the holiday rush and having just given birth weeks earlier, Pam's smile was as bright and cheerful as ever as she sat in front of the Christmas tree surrounded by her three daughters. Oh, how he missed that smile.
"Michelle still has your smile," he told the picture. He sighed. "You'd be so proud of them!" he choked out.
"For starters, DJ's running her own vet clinic. And she's an amazing mother, just like you. She did inherit some of Danny's neurotic tendencies, but I guess that's to be expected." Jesse chuckled.
"Stephanie had a bit of a wild streak like I did," he continued, "but she also inherited my musical talents, so she's doing pretty well for herself, even went on tour with Lisa Loeb! And the way she stepped up when DJ needed her help with those boys…" Jesse trailed off, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You would be proud," he said again.
"Michelle's doing great, too. She got out of San Francisco the first chance she got, graduated from NYU, and started her own fashion line. She can't visit much with her crazy work schedule, but we go see her as often as we can, and of course, her nephews are always texting her their silly little memes and GIFs," he scoffed, pronouncing GIF with a soft G as in 'giraffe'.
Jesse sighed. "It's crazy, Pam! They grew up! One minute they were these helpless little girls stuck with the three of us guys who didn't know the first thing about parenting, and now here they are, three successful grown women with careers and families of their own. They're older than you were. Older than you'll ever be," he mused, realizing that the newborn baby in the photo was now six years older than the woman holding her.
"They grew up, and so did I," he went on. "When I first moved in I was the same carefree kid with a mullet and a motorcycle you saw that Christmas. And now look at me! I got married, had three kids of my own, finally got somewhere with my music career. I don't think any of that would have happened if I hadn't moved in here. Sure, I probably would have ditched the mullet eventually," he joked, "but I wouldn't have learned all the life lessons I had to learn to become the man I am today. So I guess you'd be pretty damn proud of me, too," he admitted sheepishly.
Jesse kept scrolling until he reached a photo near the end of the album. Danny and Pam were standing on either side of DJ's high chair as she devoured her first birthday cake. While Pam was grinning at the camera, a young Danny gazed adoringly at his wife and daughter.
"Danny's doing okay, too. He loves his job, and he loves being a grandpa. He's single again, but between you and me, I don't think that's gonna last much longer." Jesse smirked. "He'll be alright."
Jesse stared mindlessly at the picture for another minute before Tommy walked in.
"Hi, Uncle Jesse!" he exclaimed.
Jesse quickly put his finger to his lips. "Shh, Pamela's sleeping!" he urged. "Now, come here! I wanna show you something." He motioned for Tommy to sit in his lap.
"Do you know who this is?" he asked, pointing to the photo.
"Grandpa Danny!" Tommy replied cheerfully.
"Yeah, but who's that baby next to him?" Jesse asked. When Tommy shrugged, he said, "That's your mommy when she was a baby! And do you know who this lady is?" Tommy shook his head. "That's your mommy's mommy, Grandma Pam. She was my big sister, just like Jackson and Max are your big brothers," Jesse explained.
"Oh, your Grandma Pam would love you so much," Jesse told Tommy.
"You would have been the best grandma," he addressed the photo again. "You'd be spoiling these kids absolutely rotten just like Danny does. Well, frankly, all three of us do!" he confessed. He smiled and kissed Tommy's forehead.
DJ popped her head in the door. "There you are! We were wondering what happened to you. You missed a pretty emotional scene downstairs. Not in the mood for a Tanner-Fuller group hug?" she guessed, knowing her uncle's infamous disdain for hugging.
"Actually you missed a pretty emotional scene up here," Jesse replied. "I was just looking at some old pictures of your mom." He handed DJ his phone to show her the album in question.
DJ gasped. "Oh, Mylanta!" she whispered. "This isn't fair! I've already cried way too much today!" she exclaimed, scolding her uncle.
Jesse chuckled and embraced his niece. "Sorry," he mumbled half-heartedly, still smiling.
"I do that from time to time when I'm missing her," Jesse explained. "I look at old pictures of her and talk to her as if she's still here. I like to update her on what's going on, you know?" He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the bed. "And after yesterday, I just had to let her know what amazing young women her girls grew up to be. She'd be really proud of you, Deej."
"Thanks, Uncle Jesse." DJ wiped a tear from her eye. "You know, I think Mom would be pretty proud of you, too."
Jesse grinned. "Yeah, I told her the same thing."
DJ picked up Tommy and headed for the door. Before leaving, she turned to notice Jesse still wiping tears from his face. "You gonna be okay?" she asked.
Jesse nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."
DJ shut the door behind her leaving Jesse alone once again. He let out a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling.
"So proud."