Chapter 5

Grace felt Atton's scrutiny from the shadows all the more because it was just the two of them while Allan meditated in the port dormitory. "You could join me if you found this so fascinating," Grace remarked as she pivoted and pushed away an imaginary foe.

Atton shifted into the garage with slow, smooth steps. "But I like watching you. I'm learning a lot about your style," he replied.

Grace stopped and turned to watch him as he walked over to the workbench and put his mug down by her discarded denim jacket. "Watching will not teach you like doing will," she said.

"Mm, True But watching can give you an edge. I've seen you practising with the lightsaber. I know you're a lot better than you're letting on. You've been letting Allan win when you spar. But as for unarmed combat? I'm curious to see how good you are."

A small thrill curled in her stomach as Atton removed his ribbed jacket and stepped near. No need to show off, Grace thought as she relaxed into a defensive stance and Atton brought his hands up. He struck with a quick jab to the face that she slapped away and responded with a palm in his ribs before sliding her hand over to lock his elbow and slipping her leg behind his and throwing Atton to the ground. He struck out with a leg. Grace blocked and kicked as Atton rolled up. She then moved in close and rabbit-punched him in the kidneys. As she moved past Atton swung his elbow and connected with her jaw with a crack. Grace staggered back and clutched her jaw in obvious pain. The fight was forgotten as Atton swore and moved to check on her. Her fist lashed out and connected solidly with his nose.

"Ow, damn it!" Atton cursed as he stepped back in surprise, blood flowing from his nose. "You fight dirty!" He wiped the blood away with his sleeve.

"Yeah, well not everyone's got long arms like you to keep people at a distance," Grace grinned as she worked her jaw and stepped forward. "Honourable fighting will only get you so far." She dodged back as Atton feinted with one hand and his other hand came around to grab the front of her shirt. Her hand slid over his as she moved forward and punched him in the face again. Atton jerked his head back at the last second and, pushing her hand away, continued his manoeuvre to spin Grace around and hard into the wall where he pinned her arms and pressed firmly against her.

His breath hissed through his teeth as Atton leaned in from behind. "I never said I fought nicely either," he murmured in Grace's ear. "But I can be very nice if you want," he added as he relaxed his grip fractionally.

"So I've noticed," retorted Grace as she snaked out of his grip and pushed hard against the wall with a foot. Grace lifted her other foot, ran up the wall and flipped herself over Atton's shoulder to land behind him.

Atton spun around as Grace took several steps backwards. He grinned. "I like a woman who's flexible."

Grace rolled her eyes and returned his grin. "Comments like those won't get me blushing. I may be a bit of a prude but at least I know your type."

Atton circled looking for an opening. "And what is 'my type'?"

"The type that's not used to having a woman say no," Grace remarked lightly as she launched a sudden foot at his knee as a distraction. Atton blocked the foot only to be knocked down as Grace rolled in the air and kicked him solidly in the head with the other foot.

Atton swam slowly back to consciousness. He felt surprisingly well considering he had got hit in the head. A hand softly rested on his forehead. He cracked open an eye to see Allan looking back at him.

"Not a view I want to remember thanks. You can take your hands off me now," Atton remarked. He sat up and scratched his hands through his hair as he looked around the garage. Grace stood by the wall, chewing on her lower lip as she watched him. Her gaze flicked to Allan as he stood up and lingered there. Atton saw the relieved look and the smile Grace gave Allan as he turned to leave.

"When you have finished here, could I speak with you Grace?" Allan requested as he gathered his robes around him.

"Of course."

Allan left the garage, leaving them alone again. Atton rolled over and got to his feet as Grace stepped to his side. She held out his jacket to him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you that hard," she offered quietly as Atton slipped the familiar weight of his jacket on. "I asked Master Berrun to have a look at you when you didn't wake up quickly."

That explains the look and why I feel fine, Atton thought. "Hey, first time for everything. Right?" Atton shrugged away the apology. "No biggie. You won the fight. That's what counts."

"Not really. I cheated." Grace looked at him. "I used the Force. Call it a draw. Accept my apology please."

Atton looked back and saw the truth and sorrows in those deep violet eyes. I have never met so deadly a woman who could look so sad yet so appealing all at once, he reflected as he stepped closer to her. "You won the fight because that's the way you fight." he said seriously as he slipped a finger under her chin. "Consider this your apology accepted and your prize for winning." Atton leaned in and brushed a kiss on her cheek. He dropped his hand and felt Grace shift her head slightly as he moved. He hesitated for once, letting her decide even though he had the urge to lean in again and kiss her on the mouth, and keep kissing her. Atton felt a pang of disappointment as she pulled away and moved to her jacket on the bench.

"Atton?"

"Yeah?"

"How… Can we try being just friends?" Grace asked as she put on the jacket.

"Sure. We can be 'just' friends. Doesn't mean I can't occasionally make a friendly leer at you I hope," Atton responded with a crooked grin. Doesn't mean I won't keep an eye on you either… His heart thumped a beat as she smiled.

"How about we stick with beating each other at pazaak for now?" Grace remarked as she moved out of the garage and he followed.

Allan sat on the floor, his robes wrapped around him from the cool air circulating throughout the ship. He closed his eyes and breathed deep and even, relaxed. He stretched out his senses around the ship out of habit. Atton is heading for the cockpit. Where is Grace?… Allan's brow furrowed as he sought out her quiet mind. His ears picked up a small scraping noise in the room and he focused his mind closer to himself. He opened his eyes. Grace sat a few feet away with an innocent expression on her face. Allan looked at her as the corner of her mouth twitched.

"You delight in this sort of behaviour do you not? Hiding your mind away and sneaking up on me," he demanded with more calm than he felt.

"I can't help it. I'm used to keeping a low profile," Grace remarked with a smile as she fidgeted with the toe of one boot. "Who taught you the lemon face? It's quite effective. I don't think I've met anybody else who's got so much out of me with just a look and no Force."

"I taught myself, with a little help from my last Master," Allan responded. He silently regarded Grace as she looked everywhere but at him. He slipped his hands out from his sleeves and tapped a finger on the floor to catch Grace's attention. "You could have killed Atton if you had hit him any harder. How could you be so reckless like that? And don't tell me it was force of habit. That excuse is getting a little thin." A trickle of anger flowed through his words.

"What do you want to hear Master Jedi? That I did it deliberately? Or that I regretted it the instant I did it?" Grace looked him in the eye. No emotion showed in her violet depths. No emotion flowed in her voice.

Allan felt a sudden urge to draw his 'saber as she continued to look but her eyes held him. The shadows in the room darkened as he felt something brush against his mind and wait at its edge. His breath misted in the cold air. Force! Is this what she used to be like? Is this what she still is behind that face?… his mind whispered as a familiar cold seeped into his bones. Is she like I almost was?…

Grace looked away and closed her eyes. The presence faded as light and warmth flowed into the small dormitory. "I'm not that person any more," murmured Grace as she shook her head. "I will not be that person again."

Allan stared in shock at her easy use of power. What has she done to me?…

Grace glared back at him, sudden heat in her eyes. "Nothing! I've done nothing to you! You're the one who decided to trust me. You're the one who forged our Bond."

"Bond?" choked Allan. Another Force-bond? What have I done?…

Grace was so surprised as Allan spluttered it chased away her anger. "You didn't know? I told you a Master never travels without a bodyguard, an Assassin. You are a Master. I am, was, an Assassin. When you agreed to my help at Gate-Way you forged a bond. You tied me to yourself. I tied myself to you. You accepted my oath of loyalty, even if it was in the vague terms of, and I quote, 'Get us out of here and I'll help you as best I can'. And when I told you about myself you asked me again to stay, to help you." Grace spoke with sudden anguish. "I didn't realise that's what we had done until a few seconds ago. If I had known at the start…"

Allan leapt to his feet and stepped back, a look of dawning comprehension on his face.

"I can't leave your service," Grace stated as she looked up at Allan. "I'm bound to your service to the best of my ability and until one of us dies."

"And if I say I do not want your service?" Allan whispered hoarsely.

"Then… " Grace shrugged. "A bond of this sort is supposed to enhance both the Master and the Assassin. If it's not done properly, like we did it, there may be side effects… Like my dreams getting stronger… Like your almost blind trust of me… Like my urge to see Atton as an obstacle… Like my slip in control before…"

Allan started nodding in understanding. "If this is left as it is, then you will be a danger to all of us. Is this bond going to be lethal if it is completed?" He looked cautiously at Grace as she moved to stand up.

"Not as far as I know. If one dies then the other may feel like a part of them is missing. When two are bonded so close there can be other effects such as memory sharing, enhanced skill ability, force powers used by one affecting both…"

"Pain transference…" whispered Allan.

Grace shook her head. "No. That would be detrimental to both. There would be the knowledge the other was in pain but not actual pain. That would be an unfinished bond similar to ours." Grace paused as she looked at Allan's face. "You've had one like that before! Who? Was this the one Atton said 'shafted you royally'?"

Allan looked at Grace with haunted eyes. "Yes," he murmured. "My last teacher, Kreia. She forced the bond with me without my knowledge and I barely survived her death. I do not want another like it." Allan scrubbed his hands over his face and walked the confines of the room in silence.

"If it is the will of the Force," Allan murmured after some minutes. He stopped and spun to face Grace, a look of determination on his face. "Kneel," he commanded.

Grace shifted down to her knee with a resigned expression, her hands dropping to her sides. Allan stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked back at him with some trepidation, knowing what he was going to make her do. I am sorry… she whispered in her mind.

"For all our sakes I ask you to repeat the oath as it was meant to be," Allan softly requested.

"All you need to do is ask me one more time. You have to ask me three times. The third time binds us until one of us dies," Grace whispered as she bowed her head.

Allan's hand slid off her shoulder and he stepped back. "Will you help me, binding yourself to me in my service to the best of your abilities?" he intoned quietly.

"I will not waver in my loyalty to you as my lord. My skills I offer to you freely to use as you see fit. All that I am I give in your service. My life is yours… " Grace whispered. "…My Master." She looked into Allan's eyes. Her world fell apart as the bond was completed and she sank into his eyes. Reality faded…

Awareness returned…

Grace sat in an upholstered, curved chair in a familiar room, the floor carpeted in red, the walls were cream with red trim, the cream ceiling curving gently overhead. She knew if she turned her head she would see floor to ceiling windows with a view over a cityscape dominated by a forested park and tall steel and glass buildings. She stroked a hand down the soft leather coat she wore, checking on her lightsaber hidden in its folds and the slender knife she used for close up work sitting at her waist. A datapad rested on a small table beside her. Her eyes focused on the door across the hotel suite room as her mind passively picked up the mindthoughts of a person in the corridor waiting near the lift fifty feet away. The mind registered a spike of lust, but Grace picked up no other mind to suggest there was a second person coming out of the lift. The Jedi has learnt to hide… she put away that bit of information as she stood up and walked towards the door and waited by the wall. She slipped the thin, wickedly curved knife into her hand as she focused into fading further into invisibility. Grace became the air, less than air, less than conscious thought. A small chill flowed around her hiding her heat. Her breathing slowed as she passed into silence. Her mind held no thought but became the feeling of the room - vacant but for the furniture and sunlight. The Assassin waited for her target.

A minute, two minutes passed. The door to the room opened and a woman entered, neatly dressed in a russet and ivory tailored suit, her long brown hair held back in a low ponytail. You could have mistaken her for a well paid clerk if you didn't watch the way she moved, didn't see the small nick scars on her hands as she placed the keycard on the small table and lifted the datapad to read it. The woman's head came up as the Assassin flowed slowly, silently forward, cutting off her target from the door. The woman turned and looked around the room. "I know you're here." the Jedi stated clearly as the Assassin felt a mind scan every corner and shadow. No anticipation, no excitement pulsed through the Assassin's body as she stood hidden beside the Jedi and brought the knife around in a low strike. The knife grazed the Jedi's ribs as the woman turned at the last moment and deflected the blow. The Assassin punched hard at the Jedi's unprotected face and heard the nose break. The Jedi staggered and the Assassin moved to grab her hair and slip the knife under her jaw.

Grace waited for the pain of a bolt of Force Lightning to whip through her, as she knew it had when she had got so close in reality, as it always did in her dreams. Instead, time stood still, she could not move, the knife hung millimetres away from its goal. A hand reached past her eyesight and peeled her fingers from around the knife hilt, letting it fall to the floor as Allan stepped further around to look with shock and recognition at the Jedi.

"Revan."

The memory faded… Another memory waited…

The same room, an hour later, as Grace recalled. But now the red carpet was blotted with a darker red, the cream walls carried abstract arcs of red slowing running down, three bodies lay in various poses around the room. Grace knelt before the Jedi and pleaded for her to accept Grace's oath.

"I cannot. Your oath is not mine to have. Another will have your loyalty and another will have your heart. I have seen it." The Jedi walked towards the window wall and looked out. The sound of sirens floated in from one broken window. Brown hair lifted and curled in the breeze. She turned back to Grace. "One gift I give you. Knowledge you will remember when you have truly given your oath. You will meet your destiny at Gate-Way and truly begin your journey to the light. What you do on your journey will decide how your life will end. Do not forget to listen to your heart, but choose wisely. There is a subtle difference between a fall and a sacrifice." The Jedi turned back towards the view.

Grace sensed a presence behind her and glanced up from her kneeing position. Allan stood beside her. He looked into her eyes as he moved in front of Grace. Memory faded… to become the reality of her kneeling before Allan in a small dormitory room on a ship heading towards an unknown destiny.

Grace wandered slowly through the corridors of the Ebon Hawk replaying in her mind the conversation with Allan after giving her oath, after reliving her hidden memory.

-You were there to kill Revan?…

-She went by another name… I swear I didn't know…

-I understand… I saw the truth in your mind… I know what you are to the depths of your soul…

She shook her head in wonder at the Jedi's willingness to forgive her a second time and his insight into her nature that had eluded even herself.

-The path of the Assassin was never truly your path to walk… You have always craved the Light, even as you walked in Darkness…

-Then what am I?…

Grace watched the droid T3 go about his repairs on the engines, doing what he was made for. She smiled in silent joy at what Allan had said next.

-If you will let me, I will teach you… Master and Padawan, teacher and student…

-The oath remains. All that I am, all my skills, my life - is yours…

Her eyes turned to look past the main hold, towards the cockpit and its current occupant. Her step faltered.

-Atton will not be happy with this new complication…

-I'll be the one to tell him…

Grace lifted a hand to rub a finger lightly on her cheek where the scoundrel had kissed her as she moved to the short corridor by the medical bay. When she moved through the main hold she barely registered the rust-red droid standing off to one side. HK swiveled his head to follow her movement but stayed silent as she disappeared down the corridor to the cockpit.

Atton waited in the cockpit flipping through his deck of cards, occasionally looking to the door to see if Grace had followed him to his refuge. How do you be friends with a woman? I've known plenty but I don't think I've been a friend to one… He stared back at his cards as if they held the answer. Atton turned around in the pilot's seat for the tenth time, his dark brown hair falling over his eyes. His breath caught minutely as he saw her standing in the doorway. Then Grace moved into the small room and he gave a wide, easy smile.

"Hey. Thought you'd forgotten about me."

She smiled quietly in return. "You're a difficult person to forget Atton." Grace rummaged in her jacket pockets and drew out her own cards to wave at the pilot. "How about a game of pazaak since you have your deck out?"

Atton flowed off the seat and perched on the floor as Grace sat down and shuffled her cards. There was a long silence as they played, occasionally interrupted by little sounds of triumph and disgust.

"So… how are things going with Allan? I mean, you two seem to have got pretty close in the past few days," Atton asked between rounds of their game. "Not that I'm insinuating anything."

"I'm sure you weren't," Grace remarked dryly as she flipped a card down to begin another round. She paused as they continued to place cards. "Actually there is something I need to tell you. I just haven't been sure how to bring it up, but since you opened the subject…"

Atton paused in the act of placing a +2 card down to take the game. "You don't have to say a word. I get it. You two have a thing going." He gathered his cards together, a scowl forming.

"I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. We're not…" Grace sighed in mild exasperation at his assumption, her cards forgotten in her hand. "We're bonded. We have a bond. As in Master and Assassin… and also Master and Padawan. Nothing more."

"Master? Padawan? You're joking right?" Atton demanded incredulously. "You're not," he stated as he looked into Grace's face, his hazel eyes flicked between hers as he tried to read everything in those violet depths.

"He's offered to teach me. I'll understand if you don't want to be my friend, not that we've managed to get very far in that respect. You don't really like Jedi after all."

"I'm surprised you'd want to be a Jedi, but if you think I'm that shallow you've got another thing coming Sister. I may not be happy with the situation but since I've been around Allan I've learnt not all Jedi are the same. Some are better than others." Atton leaned back against the side of the pilot's seat with a show of nonchalance. "As long as Allan believes in you, then I can't see why I should get in the way of what you want. I told you before I'd be your friend. This doesn't change what I said."

Grace smiled in relief. "Thank you. It does mean something to me, you know. I don't have that many friends these days."

"Hey, don't get too attached. I might start thinking you like me for more than my winning personality."

"No. I like you for your ability to play pazaak. You're also not bad in the dirty fighting stakes," Grace murmured as she looked resolutely at the cards in her hand.

"Yeah, I'm a multi-talented guy," Atton insinuated.

"I'm sorry, was that innuendo?"

"Yes. Yes it was."

"It was awful," Grace grinned as she visibly relaxed. She glanced up to see the matching grin on Atton's face. "I once knew a guy who could make a suggestion out of anything said. Actually, he was the one who taught me Pazaak years ago." She raised her head to look over at the pilot's console. "Which reminds me. How long before we reach Nexus?"

Atton rolled onto his knees and stood up to lean over and check the readout. "Not for another twenty-three hours." He turned and looked down as Grace looked away. Her eyes flicked back to see him still looking, the grin back on his face.

"What?" Grace demanded as a small flush colored her face.

"Nothing. I never said a word." Atton held up his hands in mock defense as Grace gave him the evil eye.

"Can we continue the game, please?"

"Sure." Atton sat down again. "So, this guy who taught you Pazaak. How good was he?"

Allan passed slowly into the main hold, his feet moving him automatically to the kitchenette, his mind on his recent conversation with Grace.

-Severed most of my ties to them when I ran… you have a place to start your search from… which is on Nexus, and a good source of information… if I make a deal with them…

-Who are these people you worked for?…

-Force Adepts, Sensitives… Dark, Light… a few Dark Jedi though. Some of them are out for profit, others for glory, and others because it amuses the hell out of them to play with others lives… In the end it's all about power… factions… not all see eye to eye on a lot of things… The amount of infighting that was going on before I left, I don't know, almost looked like someone was deliberately stirring them up, weeding out the weak and careless, getting them ready for something big…

He pocketed some snackbars, nodded absently at HK as the droid watched him and moved towards the cockpit.

-You don't mention Sith…

-Never heard that name used around these parts… what's in a name?… there's Sith'arii… rare species… Demons, pure Darkness… when I did a job years ago… haunts my dreams… presence can bring out the worst in you, make you forget… I sometimes wonder how she did it…

-Your progenitor?…

-Yeah… how she killed one… closest you'll get to Sith'arii these days is a mixed-blood, a halfbreed… you could call them Sith… at least a couple working behind the scenes that I know of… could be more… Don't know… look normal until you get right up close…

Allan stopped to watch the Pazaak game in progress, the contestants oblivious to anything else. A silent undercurrent flowed between the two. He watched Atton who watched Grace, his eyes following her, and his game barely suffered from his inattention. Grace was aware of Atton's scrutiny but chose to ignore it, however Allan could sense she was less relaxed than she appeared. I do not believe she has had to deal with such a blatant interest before, he thought in surprise. Has she hidden away behind disguises so long she does not know her own beauty? He took a seat to wait out the game and nibble on a snackbar.

Hours, games, and several conversations later, Grace finally said goodnight to the two men and left the main hold where they had ended up after Allan had suggested they grab a better meal than the snackbars he had brought with him. She shrugged off her jacket as she stepped into the starboard dormitory, tugged off her boots, removed her utility belt, and crawled under the covers of her bed. A sense of peace held Grace and she relaxed her guards as her face touched the pillow. Sleep claimed her quickly and blissfully. For the first time in over three years no bad dreams disturbed her slumber.

As Grace drifted up out of her deep sleep she felt a faint but already familiar presence nearby. Her eyes cracked slowly open to see Atton crouched down, out of arms reach, with a steaming mug in his gloved hands and a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Atton?" she mumbled sleepily. "What?"

A twitch of a smile slid over his face as he softly drifted nearer. "Hey," he murmured. "Glad to see you're not going to attack me. Thought you were considering all the other times with Allan. Didn't think you were going to wake up. You've been sleeping for eighteen hours solid."

"Mpfhh."

"Should be coming out of hyperspace in the next half hour. Thought you might like to know… but from the looks of it I'd say you'd prefer more sleep. Go back to sleep."

Grace closed her eyes and felt herself drift off again. Phantom fingers brushed along her cheek as sleep claimed her and she dreamt of what might have happened in the garage if she had given in to her impulse to return Atton's kiss.

Atton returned to the cockpit and sat in his old seat, the familiar sights and sounds surrounding him. He waited and watched the countdown on the console, playing pazaak in his mind again. After a while he closed his eyes and found his latest fantasy waiting. Atton let the sequence roll through his mind knowing the closest he would get was in his mind. A scantily clad dancer moved to the rhythm of an unheard band, her skin a dusky canvas touched here and there with thin scars that accentuated more than detracted from her appearance, her movements graceful as she danced for him… just him. A wave of lust surged throught him and he shifted uncomfortably. He opened his eyes. How he had managed to be so nonchalant when he had said her becoming a Jedi didn't change anything, he really had no idea. Plenty of other honeys. Can't get hung up on just this one. Only going to be friends, Atton reasoned. His reasoning held for a short while before he returned to pick over his physical memories of her. How she fitted neatly into his arms, what her hair smelled like, the softness of her skin, her laugh.

The memory of her voice intruded, offering opinions and observations, signs of a keen intelligence behind the merely physical that Atton was used to dealing with in most women. He wondered if she could have had more of an interest in him if she hadn't decided to retrain as a Jedi. A voice spoke in his mind, an old woman's voice, reminding him of what he was. I don't need to be reminded of what I am! I already know. Allan gave me a chance to change. Its not too late is it? I could learn… Atton lost himself in his thoughts until he saw the flashing light on the console, heard the proximity alarm, and felt the hyperdrive disengage to drop the Ebon Hawk into realspace. The sublight engines kicked in and Atton had his first view of the planet Nexus.

The Hawk had come out of hyperspace behind the single moon on the dark side of the planet. Atton piloted the ship towards the cluster of spaceships waiting for permission to land and his first impression was that it was reminiscent of Coruscant because of the number and variety of ships waiting, but the planet was less built up and still showed areas of darkness where there were few lights. He took a better look at the planet as he moved into stationary orbit. Lines and multicolored webs of light shone from the planet showing highways and centers of habitation spread over land. Reflected light danced off the surrounding water. Clouds tinted pink and purple as the sun began to rise on the horizon. Blues and greens began to appear as artificial lights faded before a new day.

Atton waited. Let's hope the codes she gave still work…

"Unidentified ship. Transmit ID and destination."

Atton flicked the transponder on and then answered over the comm channel, his voice neutral as he rattled off the codes as if he did this almost every day. "Ship ID Ebon Hawk, light freighter, private owned. Destination is Arc-Two, Port Haldale Base. Authorization code is Sierra Nova six-two."

He waited as long seconds passed and he thought back to the conversation earlier.

-They're codes I set up in the securitynet myself… used when I needed to be discreet… no questions asked… Port Haldale Base was originally military but hasn't been in decades… closest secure Port to where we need to go… safer than Arc-One which is the public shipping docks…

"Acknowledged Ebon Hawk. Authorization verified and granted. Transmitting destination entry co-ordinates. Adjust course to enter. Welcome to Nexus."