AN: Thank you again for the reviews and follows. Hope you enjoy.

I glance up at the clock again, it's almost lunch time and I've yet to hear anything about an appointment with Tris.

I fucked everything up.

The beds in the infirmary are at least marginally more comfortable than the cot in my cell, but the ache in my shoulder is awful and has kept me up most of the night. They've yet to give me healing serum, saying they have to get approval from the doctor on call, which seems to be impossible.

It's not like we have rights as prisoners, so I guess I'm lucky that they even put me in a sling.

I keep thinking about my conversation with Tris last night, and even though we had decent communication the damage of my actions may already been done. I wonder if there are arguments to be made that my behavior was in part due to being overdosed with the peace serum, and whatever else they were giving me.

"Hey man, how are you feeling?" Hector asks as he enters the room.

"I'm okay." I reply.

He wrinkles his brow at me, "Didn't they give you anything for the pain?" He asks, pulling up a chair to sit next to my bed.

"I refused it. If I can see Tris today, I don't want that shit in my system. I've been awful to her over the past week, I need to be clear-headed. Are you here to pick me up?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, just a social call." He replies.

"Tris?"

"Nothing scheduled that I've heard as yet." Hector replies.

"I fucked it up, Hec. I did all that shit to Johanna and to her, I refused seven visits, I fucked it up…"

"Eric, just give her time. The prison isn't very lenient on scheduling appointments after they've been cancelled. I know Tris, she wouldn't lapse on this. Last night should have reset you as far as your requirements for therapy. Just give her some time." He says.

I nod my head, and when I look at Hector he seems lost in thought, "Hec, what's going on with you?"

He chuckles, "It's that obvious, huh?"

"Kind of." I nod.

"I got the final approval this morning, I'm being transferred, and it's at my own request so I have some wiggle room as to the actual date." He replies.

"Wow. You're leaving?" I stammer.

He nods, "My wife Sara wants to wait until our son Leo is done with this school year. He's about to go into high school, so we wanted to time it really well."

"That's great, Hec." I offer.

"I also wanted to see this through for you too, I wanted to make sure you were out of here before I left for good." He explains.

"Hec, wow, I don't know what to say to that. If this is what you want, I'm very happy for you."

"It's definitely what I want. I'm done with this city, man. There's so much more out there, you'll see soon." He replies.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"Tampa Florida. Sunshine, warm weather, palm trees and beaches. Also one of the best school systems in the country, so Leo is excited." He grins.

"Damn man, that sounds really nice. It sounds like a great place for your family." I reply with sincerity. Hec has been such a great friend, and I will miss the hell out of him, but it sounds like this move is what his family needs.

"I've been waiting to tell you, because as angry as you were last week I didn't think you'd be receptive. But, the way it works out, you should be getting out of here before I ship out." He smiles again.

"You seem awfully confident that I'm getting out," I sigh.

"I saw a different person last night, Eric. I think you're on the cusp of something big with her. You've just got to be willing to open up to her." He says.

"It must be your lucky day, I'm here to give you the healing serum." A nurse says as she enters the room.

"How long does he need to stay after getting the serum, Toya?" Hector asks the nurse.

"An hour, at minimum." She replies.

"I'll see you in about an hour then." Hector says as he exits the room.

I recognize the healing serum by its bright orange color, and I feel the familiar burn as it enters my bloodstream, the same as it always felt when they patched me back together so many times before.

"Okay, you're all set. You lay here and get some rest until the guards come back to check you out."

I scowl at her retreating form. After another hour and a half of checking the clock constantly, Hector and Dalton come by to sign me out.

"Are you here for my therapy appointment?" I ask and Dalton shakes his head.

"Shower and back to the cell are our orders." He replies.

I glance over at Hector and he shakes his head at me. I follow them to the showers, both guards try to make conversation with me, but I'm not in the mood to talk.

Showering didn't go well, it's damn near impossible for me to move my arm so I have to do everything left handed. It's frustrating, and I'm in pain, but I had refused pain medications because if there's some chance I may be able to see Tris today I don't want anything messing with my mind.

I'm able to get my boxers and scrub pants on, but I finally sit on the bench and hold onto my shoulder. It's just too much, and I'm thankful for two easy guards who aren't screaming at me to hurry.

"Eric, she's here." Hector calls out, "Do you need help?"

"Yeah." I call back.

Hector comes around the corner just in time to help me get my scrub shirt over my head. He quietly helps me get into my socks and slides and then helps get my sling back on.

"Hec, I really appreciate you, I don't tell you that enough." I say quietly.

"It's not a problem, man." He replies easily.

They escort me to the room, and I see her glance up from her iPad. She looks tired, but beautiful, and I realize just how much I've missed her. Hector helps me out of my chains, and he nods down to a chair before he turns to make his way out of the room.

"I'll be outside, good to see you Tris." He grins.

"You too Hector." She smiles back at him.

"It'll just be me out there, whatever you two need you have." He says as he walks out the door.

"I didn't think you were coming." I say.

"Are you ok?" She gestures towards my arm.

"Pulled something in my shoulder when I was working out," I decide to stick to Hector's story.

"If you're in pain we can reschedule..." She says but I interrupt.

"I went to the clinic, they gave me healing serum, and I'll be fine. I just look like shit."

"I tried to schedule us for this morning, the best they would do was lunch. No peace serum today?" She asks. She's tentative.

She's afraid of me. I have to work towards changing that.

"No, none at all, they've followed your orders Dr. Prior." I reply with a smile.

She smiles at me, "Good. I know you said before it wasn't bad in low doses, so if you need it please let me know."

I shake my head, "I like how I feel without it. I feel like me."

I try to move my messy and tangled wet hair out of my face, but it's uncooperative, and Tris notices.

"I have a brush and some detangle spray in my bag. I could help you with it. I keep it for Miles' hair after his swim lessons. I also brought you some of the chili I made for dinner last night. I can work on your hair while you eat." She offers.

I nod and she pours me some chili from a thermos, "Can you eat left handed?"

I tip the cup up to my lips and take it like a drink. She chuckles and shakes her head at me.

I eat the chili, which is the best thing I've eaten in years. Tris sprays something into my hair then begins to run her fingers through it.

I stop eating. This feels amazing.

When she runs her nails across my scalp, I lose all focus. I lean back against her, and for a moment we're no longer in a prison. She's not my therapist, I'm not a prisoner, and we're just at home on a normal day.

We're raising our son. We're a family.

"I'm sorry Tris. It was a lot, and I did get jealous when I heard about another man with my family. I'm scared to start something with Miles, he won't want me in his life if he's an adult by the time I get out of here. He needs a father now."

"You can be a father now." She argues.

"How while I'm here, and once he knows why I'm here?"

"He's heard the good, and the bad, but he still wants you in his life."

She pulls my hair up, rummages through her bag, and slides a folder to me, "He's been doing these since Pre-K. Every time there's been any type of assignment where he can talk or show his daddy, he has."

I flip through everything, asking the occasional question. I'm seeing my son's version of our family. In every picture, I'm there, along with various others that Tris considers her family.

I'm always there. In crayon with nothing more than scribbled blobs, part of the stick family, and even homemade Father's Day cards.

He never forgot me, and I have the woman who is sitting across from me to thank for that.

I can feel tears leaking from my eyes, but I can't bear to look away. He even wrote a report on me, and not once did he call me a prisoner. Or a convict, or the piece of shit that I am.

Somehow, Tris and her family have made sure my son loves me.

I glance over at her and she's eating some of the chili and quietly watching me. I wish I could tell her how much I appreciate what she's done to keep me in his life, but words escape me. When I ask her if I can keep a few of Miles' drawings she readily agrees. How she's able to be this understanding and nice to me is blowing my mind.

She asks me if I want to be in my son's life and I easily agree. My own father was never in my life, I don't even know who he is. I'd asked Jeanine several times, and she always had told me she didn't know. I guess I pissed her off with my curiosity on that particular subject, because after I had pressed her when I was around eight years old or so she had told me in no uncertain terms that the subject was closed.

Tris opens a container that has a large slice of chocolate cake, and puts a piece on a fork. She holds the fork out to me, and I take the bite of cake.

She bribes me with food often, and I let her. Truth be told, I don't care about the food, I care about her. That fucking terrifies me.

We keep talking, and this time I take Hector's advice and I don't hold back with her. She peppers questions at me, and I answer, between the bites of cake she continues to alternate with me. It's such a simple gesture, but there's something about it that makes this entire situation feel like we've not spent the last ten years apart.

It makes me think of a life we could have had.

She asks me about Jeanine, and my relationship, or lack thereof with her. I explain to Tris how Jeanine had hired Harrison to train me, and how for the first time in my life I had a male figure in my life, outside of her ex-husband David Coulter, who I shared a last name with but nothing else. Harrison was rough around the edges, and he was Dauntless through and through. I enjoyed my time with him, and we forged a bond that was only broken once he solidified his allegiance to Jeanine when I broke away from her.

I wish I had of been strong enough to cut my ties with my mother when I spilled my blood over those hot coals. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, that's the saying right? I've had ten years to think about everything I should have done. Transferring to Dauntless was my chance to get away from Jeanine. I didn't realize it then, instead I just did whatever I was told.

Meeting Tris could have been what was meant to change my trajectory and I was too stupid to see it. I tell myself that had she made it to my office the night I asked her to talk, I would have told her that it was inappropriate for a leader to be involved with an initiate. However, if she had of actually been standing in front of me, there's no way I could have gone through with that speech.

Tris has always had this uncanny ability to see right through me, even when we were teenagers. Had I tried to lie to her back then, she would have called me on it. I never got the chance, because Four swooped in and saved her, and then turned her against me.

Maybe I deserved it.

"Did you love him?" I ask her suddenly, tentatively exploring her feelings for Four since I had decided to bring him up during this session.

"As much as a sixteen year old girl from Abnegation thought she could. I know that I didn't, because had I loved him I never would have had sex with you. I was raised in Abnegation, where sex equaled love, and until that moment between us I believed that to be true." She replies.

"I had a hard time with separating sex from something more too."

"I know in Abnegation, we aren't given any real direction when it comes to sex. We are told it is an act of love between a woman and a man to create a child. That's it. Was it like that in Erudite too?" She asks.

"I don't know." I look down at the table.

"You were a virgin too before that day in Erudite, right?" She asks.

"Yeah."

"There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at eighteen…"

I interrupt, "In Erudite, we are encouraged to explore anything that peaked our curiosity." I put my hands down on the table and touch her fingers with mine. This time, she doesn't pull away. She's looking at me with those intense hazel eyes and she entwines her fingers with mine.

"So does that mean you had some sort of sexual experience when you were there?" She asks.

"Not by choice. Tris, what I'm about to tell you is something that I haven't talked about in eighteen years…" I trail off.

"Eric, whatever it is, I'm here for you. You can trust me with anything, I promise you."

"I know I can." I reply softly.

I look down at our hands, her long thin fingers wrapped with my thick, calloused ones. My skin has the yellow pallor of someone who's been locked in a cage for years, not allowed to see the sunshine anymore, but her skin is pale and freckled, and just as soft as I remember.

These are hands that touched me so tenderly during our intimacy in Erudite. Hands that held onto me when we finally made it onto that train. Hands that have held and caressed the son I've never seen.

This is the woman who has raised a child she was never prepared for, and lost almost everyone in her efforts to make sure he knew who I am.

I can do this.

For him.

For her.