Author note: Okay, well…here's this chapter…
I found it hard to sleep that night. I kept coming in and out of nightmares, dreaming that Spot was hurting me. I'd wake up crying, or shaking from fear. I'd then watch Spot's chest fall up and down, trying to tell myself that he wouldn't hurt me…again.
I opened my eyes once more from a fearful nightmare, and was blinded by the little light the sun supplied. I rubbed my sensitive eyes and could only hear my heavy breathing. My hands were shaking, and I seemed to be crying.
Spot was still sleeping in my bed, his hair falling in his face. I blinked a few times as I stretched and got to my feet. I didn't bother to clean up the wound on the back of my head last night. I ran my hand over my head and winced when my fingers traced over the wound. I could feel the dry blood sticking to my hair.
I decided that it wouldn't hurt to leave Spot to wash up. I walked out into the hallway; nobody was up yet. I walked into the medium sized washroom, ignoring the pain in my head, and in my ankle. I stripped of my clothes and stared at myself in the mirror.
I looked different…almost like I was dead. My spirit was dead, to be in fact. I had scratches tracing over my bare body from where Spot pushed me down the stairs. My wandered down to the bruise on my wrist in the form of a hand. I brought it up to my face to see it better.
I bit my lip and held back more tears as I washed up, trying my best to stay calm. I couldn't let Spot know that I was afraid of him. I just couldn't.
I finished washing up and gradually changed my clothes. I pulled my wet hair back and stepped out of the washroom. I silently crept back to my room, and shut the door. When I turned around I nearly jumped ten feet into the hair.
Spot was sitting up in my bed, clutching his head. His eyes wandered over to my frightened form, and stared at me for a minute. I was pressed against the door, trying to steady my shaking hands.
"Y-you're awake," I said, trying to hide the fear in my voice. Spot blinked a few times as he struggled to his feet.
"What happened?" he asked, walking closer to me. I moved away from him, closer to the chair I had slept in.
"Y-you were drunk…" I said, trying to avoid eye contact. Spot squinted.
"No wonder I have a headache," he said. I swallowed and tried my best to smile. Spot then looked down at my wrist and shook his head.
"Sage I am so sorry," he said. He reached his hand out to me, but I moved away.
"It's okay, I-I'm not mad," I stuttered. Spot wrinkled his eyebrows.
"I hafta go wash up," he said, massaging his temples. He sent me one more glance before he walked out the door, and gently shut it behind him. I sank in my bed, and laid down. I laid on my side and hugged my knees against my chest, breathing heavily. This shouldn't be happening, this just shouldn't.
Spot's P.O.V
I stumbled upstairs and into the washroom. I splashed water in my face and did what I could to get rid of my headache. I haven't apologized to Sage properly, yet, but I couldn't do that when my head was spinning.
I felt guilty just remembering drinking so many bottles of alcohol. What was I thinking? I felt the small cuts on my feet from when I walked over the glass. I'm such a damn idiot!
I finished washing up and wobbled to my room. I changed my clothes, but I didn't feel like buttoning up my shirt, so my undershirt was in complete view, not like it matter. I kept my suspenders at my side as I rolled my sleeves up to my elbows. I tried massaging my temples again, but it only made everything worse.
My vision was quite blurry as I stumbled over to Spark's room, pounding on the door.
"What?" came Spark's voice.
"Lemme in!" I demanded. I heard something hit the floor, and stifled a laugh as the door opened. Spark rubbed his eyes and yawned.
"Lemme guess," he said. "Ya wanna know what happened?" I nodded as Spot moved aside and let me in, shutting the door behind him. I had told him to always watch me when I was drunk, and then tell me what kind of stupid shit I did. I sat on Spark's bed and prepared myself for another headache.
Spark sat in the chair in the corner and waited for me to listen. I waved my hand, a gesture to start talking.
"Well," Spark started, picking up the cup of water on his nightstand. He took a sip before he continued. "When Sage got back from Manhattan, she asked where youse were, so we told 'er." I shook my head; what dumbasses.
"Go on," I said.
"Well, I followed 'er upstairs, but didn't get ta see what happened in yer room 'cause she slammed da door shut so we wouldn't hear 'er yellin. She was pretty upset ta find ya drunk." I sighed and shook my head again. I didn't like where this was going.
"What happened next?" I asked.
"Well, I hoid da two of youse talkin, and den da door started ta open, but youse shut it and tried ta get 'er to stay in there with you," Spark explained. Man she's going to hate me forever.
"Continue," I said.
"Well she said somethin to ya, and den da two of youse came outta da room. She dragged youse over to da staircase, but youse stopped 'er and turned 'er towards ya, holding on to 'er shoulders."
"What did I do? What did I say?" I wanted to know. Please God, don't let it be something I'll regret.
"Well, ya told 'er dat youse had somethin important ta say, and when she wouldn't listen to ya youse began ta shake 'er. Well, she told ya ta stop and tell 'er, and ya did…"
"What did I tell 'er?" I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know, but I needed to know.
"Well, uh…youse told 'er you loved 'er."
"What?" I nearly yelled. My head began to throb again, so I shut up and put my head in my hands. "Damn it!"
"Yeah, well, we ain't to da bad part yet," Spark said. "She said youse were drunk, and youse didn't know what youse were sayin. Youse got mad so youse…"
"What? What did I do?" I demanded to know.
"Youse pushed 'er down da stairs." My eyes grew wide in horror. I hurt her…again.
"I…I pushed 'er down da stairs? Oh my God I'm a bad person!" I shouted. Spark put his hand up, a motion to tell me to shut up and let him continue. I sent him a glare, but let him resume his story.
"Youse rushed down and told 'er youse were sorry, and started ta shake 'er. She pushed youse away so she could catch 'er breath, and den she noticed dat da back of 'er head was bleedin-"
"Oh my God I coulda killed 'er!" Spark sighed in frustration.
"Would youse shut up and lemme finish?" I closed my mouth as Spark continued. "She den helped youse to 'er room, and I think youse kissed 'er, I ain't sure 'cause 'er door was shut. She was beggin youse ta sleep, and I think youse finally did. Anyways, dat's all I know." I let the last bit of information sink in.
"Dat's why she was so scared of me eoilier," I said. I closed my eyes shut and groaned. "She's gonna hate me forever." Spark shrugged,
"Can I go back ta sleep now? I'm tired." I got up off of his bed and walked to the door.
"Thanks Spark," I muttered as I walked out of the room. I felt horrible. I hurt her, physically and mentally.
Normal P.O.V
I was walking past the staircase, when I heard a loud bang. I jumped and looked up. Spot was standing at the top of the stairs, punching the wall. I stepped back as he looked down at me. His eyes were full of sadness.
"Sage," he said, walking down the stairs. "Sage, I need ta talk to ya." I stepped away from Spot as he walked towards me.
"What?" I asked, trying not to sound as angry and afraid as I was. He reached out to touch my face, but I moved out of the way. Spot flinched as he noticed my fear and let his hand drop to his side.
"Sage…I am so, so, so, so…" I tilted my head. "Sorry," he finished. I licked at the dryness of my lips and stepped back once more. Spot noticed this and his eyes filled with hurt. I cleared my throat,
"I-I have to go back to Manhattan," I said, pointing at the front door. "To go check up on Scout." Spot closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.
"I didn't mean ta hurt youse," he said. "Yesterday, and last night." He remembered about last night? "I know it must've hoit ta see me drunk, and even more ta know dat I broke my promise, but youse jus' don't understand me. I wanna be yer 'knight in shinin armor,' but I jus' can't."
"Why?" I asked, forgetting the fear that I had felt earlier.
"Because, Sage, I'm different from dem regular guys…I ain't so good at controllin my anger. I can't stand ta hoit someone, and I can't keep a promise. I disappoint people, and as far as I know…I can't be trusted."
"Spot…" I didn't know what to say. "You don't have to be perfect…not for me."
"But I wanna be, but I can't. Dat's why I never asked ya to be my goil, 'cause I'd jus' end up hoitin ya. I'm sorry…I let ya down." I looked down at the ground, feeling my heart sink. Spot was telling me that our relationship would never work out, and that we couldn't be together.
"Okay," I said, not sure of what to say. I held back my tears. It hurt to listen to the person you loved tell you that you could never be together.
"I'm sorry, Sage," he said again. "Youse jus' don't know how sorry I am. I never meant ta hoit ya…and I can't let ya live with me bein like dat, but what I said last night was true." I gave Spot a questioning look.
"What?" I asked, staying still as Spot stepped closer.
"Do youse love me, Sage?" he asked. "Do ya?" He pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, waiting for an answer.
"I…I…" Did I love him? I could say it in my mind, but could I say it to Spot? "I do," I finally said. Spot smiled and opened his eyes.
"Me too," he said, standing up straight. "Me too…"
"But…we can't…we can never…" Spot looked off to the side and sighed.
"Come back tonight…okay? When youse get back, come to my room." I nodded and watched Spot leave.
Was he going to give me a chance? It felt so odd telling Spot the deadly truth…my true feelings. But it hurt deeply to know that we would never work out.
I sighed deeply and walked to the front door. I pulled it open and glanced back. Well, whatever it was that he wanted, I had a feeling I was going to have the experience of a lifetime.
Author note: I hope you guys don't take that last part the wrong way. So…quit thinking nasty thoughts and read what's gonna happen next.
Next Chapter: Sage gives Scout a visit, and spends the day with her.
Spot decides whether or not he and Sage are going to try being a couple.
LONG LIVE EVERYONE WHO MATTERS!