The Deal

"Alright!" Quagmire said slyly as he got a pretty blond to come over him from a stripping pole. She looked to be probably in her twenties. "Jackpot!" The sexual predator grabbed his target and drove her to his home. "Nice place." She simply said as she stepped out and looked around cautiously. Her long blond hair flowed through the air as she walked quickly through the door.

Seductively she started taking off her clothes and laying them on Quagmire's kitchen table. Soon she was just in her black bra and panties and Quagmire eagerly caught her in an embrace thrusting his pelvis forward. "Jackpot…" the woman whispered as she placed her hand on his back. "Alrigh-oo!" Quagmire uttered as something pressed against his back. The needle from the drug slid right into his skin and affected him immediately. He slumped over onto the floor unconcious as the female got her shirt back on.

"I see ya got that raper huh Shelaunda?" Jack Kite asked grinning as he hopped down from the ceiling above, "Those sick freaks are just useless, but I believe we might have a place to put him." "Right, so how'd I look?" the woman scientist asked as she got on her pants. "Like any other female, now come on we need to get back, we're just making a quick stop here for this pervert and then off to Jump City!" Jack exclaimed and lifted Quagmire's body with one hand effortlessly, "Come on useless, we have some things we'd like you to meet." With that the two walked out of the raper's house and into a little painted jet. Jack layed him in back and they took off towards their great air base.


"Alright, let's see how our patient is doing." Jack sneered to Shelaunda and she ripped off the cover of the immense tube. There was Quagmire, floating in an unidentifiable liquid with his eyes closed. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he looked around in alarm. "Why hello Quagmire." The male scietist greeted with a grin, "Surprised to see your alive after all this time, thought some girl would have killed you by now." "What's going on!" he asked from within the liquid, "This isn't my house!" "No duh moron," Shelaunda told him putting her hands on her hips, "I feel like I need a chemical shower after holding you!" "Same here." Jack told her with an evil smile, "But we need to deal with this piece of trash at the moment."

"Ah yes, very much so!" Shelaunda agreed, "After all he does know where we can find that next power gem right Quagy?" "You talking to me babe? Come on in! Gigidee gigidee!" "You wanna or should I?" Jack asked with a frown. "I think I will." "ALRIGHT!" Quagmire exclaimed. Shelaunda quickly flipped open a swith and pressed the button within sending a thousand volts into the pervert's body at once. "Well, if he does know anything about the gem maybe we should let him see who it's for." Jack suggested with a wink. "Of course we should it's only polite!" Shelaunda grinned evily and took control of the canister's handle pushing the wheels forward.

"Take me to see what?" Quagmire asked while looking at her breasts. "Jake Amy! Victim here, place him in with you know what!" Immediately the two children appeared, Quagmire now turning his attention to the fourteen year-old's abnormally large boobs. The two kids grabbed hold of the containers handles and rolled him along some more towards a room full of opened pipes. "Nice boobs girl!" Quagmire blurted out causing them to look up. "Thanks?" Amy said confused looking at her friend and then back at the freaky looking man, "You're weird."

"Hey, no one says I'm weird! Later how's about you get away from that boy there and spend some time on my lap, Alright?" the man said with a wink. Amy and Jake just sighed and tipped the canister over. Quagmire tumbled out head over heals and landed naked next to one of the pipes. "So?" he asked with a sly smile. "Another raper," they said to eachother simultaneously with a smile, "Wonder what treatment he's gonna get." "Huh?" Quagmire asked and they kicked him into the pipe towards his fate below.


"Yo? Where the heck am I?" Quagmire said as he looked up into the jungle-like terrain. There were trees and bushes everywhere and far away he could see a glass window. Thinking it was a way out he threw himself at it but ended up just knocking himself down. Then he heard it, the low growl. A huge man-like figure with glowing eyes was prowling around the jungly area searching for something. "Hey, and who might you be? Know any way outta here?" Quagmire asked.

The creature turned its attention to him and began trudging towards the newcomer. "Hey buddy? Did…you…ulp!" Destro stood up on his two tall strong legs and peered down into the human's eyes with hate. His ratty robes twirled about his legs, arms, and torso menacingly while his light purple hand reached out towards him. "What are you!" he shouted and began running. In one instant Quagmire was pinned to the ground under the heavier being and slowly being crushed. "AH!" he screamed as the beast dug its claws into the back of his head where his neck and skull joined together. "Help!" he called out to no one when Destro yanked his claw out and threw him against a tree. Quagmire was almost drowning with all the blood that was trickling into his mouth now. "GLEP!" he called out one last time before going unconcious. The last thing he saw was Jack staring in with a grin from behind the window.


"Oh come on! He's still alive!" Jack asked angrily as he and Shelaunda carried him to the surgery room, "Man this sucks! Here you take him, me and Destro are going for that little game I promised him!" "Jack!" Shelaunda cried as he let the man drop to the floor and rush towards the beast's chamber. "YO!" Jack yelled opening the pipe to his environement, "Time to play with those supers I promised you!" Destro quickly slipped out of the cylindrical tube in a cloud of bubbles and got into the backpack Jack was carrying.

"Jack I can't take this man to the surgery room all by myself!" Shelaunda called out but he was already gone., "…Jake, Amy! Get in here now!"


"Well well, let's have a look at how you're doing." Shelaunda said to her patient, Quagmire. "I'm doing fine now that you're here hehe!" he responded in a sly voice and squeezed her butt. "Okay, remove your hand now or I will have to slice you open with my claws," She informed him holding up her three fingered clawed hand, "I agree with Jack you know, the only reason I'm keeping you alive is because our old friend and leader wishes to strike a deal with you." Quagmire reluctantly released his hold on the woman's butt and layed back down. "You shouldn't even be alive, guess we pulled you out a second to early you were drowning on your own blood you know." "Eh, thanks I guess, but about this deal what is it?" he asked her while grinning at her boobs. Feeling one of her scythe-like fingers under his chin, Quagmire relaxed his body and stayed glued to the bed. "I honestly don't know sir, but he will be here right about-"

"Now." A dark figure in gold armour with a head the shape of a V finished in an evil voice, "Quagmire, we have things to discuss!" "Ok, can ya let me touch your wife a bit though?" he asked pervertedly. "My wife? Who's tha-her! She's not my wife and no! Anyways we are hear to discuss your attitude. Now then, I wish for you to work for us Quagmire because you yourself have once come in contact with a jewel called a power gem. If you refuse to join us however or if you double cross us we will have you handed right back over to that monster that tore you up earlier." "Oh, um, only if you don't kill me." Quagmire told the evil lord of crime. "Oh don't worry I don't kill…not directly at least, but if I have to I might," King Shadow replied putting his arm around Shelaunda's neck and walking towards the door, "C'mon Shelaunda, we need to see how Jack is doing. Oh and Quagmire?" "Yeah?" "When you're with us no raping or sex at all unless you want to meet up with that monster again, who might have grown." With that Shelaunda was dragged backwards out of the room and the door hissed shut. If no soundproof walls were around you could hear a certain perverted sex-starved man screaming "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


Hello people, I hope you are enjoying this as you can see it's probably not like other Family Guy fanfics and to tell you the truth I hate the show. I luv all other cartoons (Except the smurf, scooby-doo, any girl only cartoons and some others) but this interlocks with my Destro series (Check mischallaneous for the whole story titled Destro). Anyways I don't think you people will like how Quagmire's part in my story ends, but it'll continue in Destro after his part's finished.