A. N. : From this chapter onwards, I am proud to announce that we are all caught up on AO3 ! So if you prefer to follow A viper-lizard's tales on there instead, it is now entirely possible ! Chapters will be posted on the same day on each site, with no change in schedule. Anyway, on to the story !
Zuko feels good.
For the first time in forever, he even feels safe – not like in Ba Sing Se, where he had to watch out for Lin's sparks and his own anger, where there was no war and a constant unease.
Safety won't last, in a few days they will leave for the invasion, to face Azula and the Fire Lord – but for now, this is good.
Jet and Master Piandao are still playing Pai Sho outside, Toph has decided to spy on Sokka's work, and Katara and the Avatar were practicing katas last time Zuko checked.
He is rediscovering the mansion's interior. Now that he knows to look for them, he sees many, many White Lotuses hidden in the various friezes and carvings, and even in a few of the gilts on the ceiling. This is ridiculous. Sure, the construction is balanced, strong and full of light, and the few carved pillars add a touch of majesty that isn't oppressive – but knowing the entire decoration is a giant game of where is the White Lotus just really irks Zuko.
He hopes he won't ever become like that. Though, given he still knows nothing about Pai Sho and doesn't want to learn, maybe he will be spared. Jet, on the other hand…
Now that's a thing Zuko never wants to experience.
There are pictures in this wing, paintings from various artists, calligraphy too, and – oh no. Oh spirits no.
Zuko knows some of the paintings.
There's a logic to the way the pictures are arranged, now that Zuko looks closer – he wishes he wasn't looking closer, fuck – calligraphy, painting, calligraphy, painting, a new name, a new painting style, calligraphy again, painting in the same style. It ends with a weird blob of ink, then a landscape in color – is that grass in the green parts ? But the series before the blob –
The calligraphy is horribly shaky. There are fingerprints all over the sheet – and Agni, was this picture painted with hands !? And at the start of this amazingly awful series, in the shakiest strokes possible – the characters for awaken and family. Zuko.
He doesn't know why he never considered the possibility of Master Piandao keeping these. The framing is a little much, but it makes sense. Zuko wants to set them on fire.
Spirits, his calligraphy was really, really bad. Sure, Zuko's writing has always been a little unsteady at best, but he knows he was using his good one for these. He probably wouldn't be able to do it again now, hasn't touched a brush with his left in years, but at the time there was no excuse.
This is awful. He shudders to imagine the result if Master Piandao hadn't insisted he used the best of his abilities – insisted he be truthful, even in his bad luck.
Maybe Zuko should try using his left again, in private. Maybe his writing would be better this way. Maybe he should ask Uncle to put up a decree letting people use whatever hand they're better with, once he's Fire Lord and the war troubles are settled.
Zuko knows if Lin turns out to be like him and her teachers try to tie her hand in her back, he will destroy them. Though, since she has the luck of Koh himself, she will probably be fine on that front.
He hopes she will be fine until then too. Luck can only protect her so much before it runs out. Zuko would sooner die than risk this.
Master Piandao's home is safe. Where Zuko is going really isn't. There is no choice to make here. It wouldn't have to be definitive, and even then Master Piandao is no stranger. It would be fine.
It would be fine, it would be the best thing he could do for her, and it would tear Zuko apart.
Would Lin miss him ? She doesn't mind being handled by other people, but she grows restless when she spends too much time away from him. But she is young, she'll get used to it in no time. Would she still recognize him after a few months away ?
Would she resent him ? Would she think he left her behind because he didn't love her enough ?
Would Zuko's attempts at protecting her only end up hurting her more ?
He closes his eyes. Sighs. He should talk with Master Piandao first, ask if he could even take care of Lin, before worrying about the details. And if it is possible…
Zuko doesn't want to part from Lin, but if he does, he wants to make the most of the time they have left.
Maybe she would have fun painting.