A. N. : I will not stop making terrible jokes at Piandao's expense, his name is too much for me. Long chapter this time, next one will be much shorter. The end of the arc is near my friends, and the plot will pick up very soon... Hope you're prepared !
Snoozles did it.
It really was something, to feel each of his steps during that test, to hear his sword cutting through the air – the sound was higher than when Twinkle Toes used to move his staff around, sharper in a way. But really there was no doubt Snoozles would pass. He wouldn't even have a sword otherwise.
It's what happened during the test that makes Toph wonder. She doesn't think anyone else noticed, except maybe that Master. There was something in Snoozles' steps, a hesitation that slowly disappeared, before going away entirely with the thundering of falling bamboos. Snoozles did something, and while Toph doesn't know what it is exactly, she thinks it's good. Snoozles did good.
She still makes fun of him for stepping on that twig and falling on his butt, though.
Master Guandao invites them all inside for a last cup of tea before they leave, and Toph hears Sparky take a deep breath. He's been a bit shaky since yesterday. She thought it was because the Fire-Turtle spent a good hour crawling in ink and leaving marks all around – Toph got some on her face and it was weird, ink is weird, it has no business being so liquid – but Sparky was still like that this morning.
Whatever he has in mind, it's not a good idea. Why is Toph the only reasonable person in this group ?
But alright, she'll bite, if Sparky can't be bothered to actually talk, then she'll just nicely ask him what's on his mind. Come on Sparky, share with the crowd, what is it this time ?
It's not that she wants him to always talk about everything he's feeling at all times – spirits know that would be horrible for everyone involved – and it's not like Toph doesn't keep things to herself too – like how she sometimes checks on Twinkle Toes' pulse to make sure he's actually really alive, or how she misses her mom petting her head before bedtime – but none of these are things she can't deal with on her own.
Sparky isn't as strong as she is. He's not brittle like Stalker is, but he also lacks Toph's strong foundations – sure he's stubborn, but he's less like a mountains and more like a big tree – and he doesn't know how to change course like the three others – and that detail might make Twinkle Toes a terrible earthbender, but it also made the dance party happen, and that was fun. Sparky doesn't really do fun, not on purpose, not on his own.
Sparky is a big oak with shallow roots and that scares Toph, a little.
One time, there was a huge storm in Gaoling. One of the trees – it was a pine, she remembers walking on the fallen needles with bare feet and feeling them crisscross like some sort of weird rug, a little pointy at times but genuinely pleasant to step on – her favorite tree fell on a wing of the house. The noise was horrible – loud and broken and the wind kept howling like a terrible laughter and the tree creaked and cracked and whined even after crushing the roof. After the storm, the whole house smelled like pine for a month, strong and suffocating, tree blood sticking on the floor, on Toph's feet, wood splinters and broken tiles and needles everywhere.
It turned out the roots had been eaten by parasites, weakening the tree just enough for the wind to deal the killing blow.
It felt like murder.
Toph doesn't want this to happen again.
She doesn't really get why Sparky always seems to worry over the little things, especially not about the Fire-Turtle, not when he is being such a good dad – but she doesn't need to get it, probably. It's annoying that she can't do anything about it on her own, but she might as well take advantage of the group. Sugar Queen tries to put her nose in everyone's business and it gets on Tophs' nerves so much, but sometimes her mothering works. Snoozles is good at finding solutions, and Stalker just gets things sometimes. Between the three of them, someone is bound to get through Sparky' thick skull and make him talk and realize how absurd some of his worries are – or at the very least find the words to calm the winds a little.
Toph expects Sparky to worry over stupid things, or over non-stupid things it's useless to worry about. She doesn't expect him to bring up the Fire-Turtle – she thought that problem was solved already ! – and expects even less that he would ask Master Shuang Gou to keep her.
What the fuck Sparky !?
He talks about danger, about keeping Lin safe – and Snoozles acts like that's the most reasonable thing Sparky ever said, Twinkle Toes agrees totally, Sugar Queen balances awkwardly from one foot to another but she says she understands, and Stalker just goes completely still.
Toph feels a little sick.
Part of her knows the Fire-Turtle is a baby, all soft and squishy, barely a tiny candle that will go out at the slightest breeze.
Part of her hears Sparky's words and screams, and she – she shakes off her mom's hand, tears down walls and claws her was out of the house just to breathe and she –
She slams her fist down on the table.
And ouch – stupid wood table hiding things from her, stupid fine porcelain breaking into stupid sharp shards, stupid hot water, and stupid her for doing this without thinking. And now the Fire-Turtle is crying too. Great. Wonderful.
There's a little panic, confusion, Sparky shooshing the Fire-Turtle, and Sugar Queen's nagging voice, half why did you do this and half give me your hand I'll heal it.
Toph doesn't give her hand. She bends the tiniest shards out of the wound and then asks Sugar Queen to water the pain away.
She doesn't give an explanation for her action either – she doesn't have one, and it's not like her to act on impulse like that, but she guesses she just had to do something.
Stalker's hand is on her shoulder – maybe give a little warning next time – but weirdly it doesn't quite feel like he's talking to Toph. Or maybe not just to Toph. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking and Toph wanting not to be the only one upset by Sparky's decision.
He didn't tell them, not one of them, not her or Stalker, not when they were both by his side the other day telling him he wasn't alone in this.
Maybe she wouldn't have found a better way, maybe she would've just called him an idiot and called it a day, but if he had told her beforehand, she wouldn't be feeling like a moron for punching a tea set.
Toph hates being taken by surprise. She has spent her life trying to understand the world around her, the way it is and the way it works and the way it changes, waiting and seeing, feeling, anticipating, grounded in everything the way seeing-people can never be.
When something blindsides her, for the shortest of time, she feels the way her parents saw her.
And after all that, after Sparky made Toph feel terrible and she made a fool of herself, and after the Fire-Turtle stopped crying – after all this mess, Master Zhanmadao says no, he can't, he's very sorry.
Toph doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. She listens to the explanation though – the Master doesn't know how to take care of an infant, asking for assistance would risk attracting unwanted attention, and soon his surrounding won't be safe anymore.
He says the Order of the White Lotus, whatever that is, plans on retaking Ba Sing Se, preferably once the Dragon of the West breaks out of prison – and wow, cool, he's in contact with Uncle then, and also Toph would pay some actual money to see that escape, honestly – but if things don't happen as planned, then the Order will proceed nonetheless.
A battlefield is no place for a child, Master Ji Lian says, and Toph feels Stalker shuffle uneasily like he wants to pretend he isn't here. A battlefield is no place for a child, but if there is no choice, the better option will always be to keep her where her father will care for her.
Cue Sparky spluttering – Toph punches his arm sympathetically, even if she still doesn't get why he insists he isn't the Fire-Turtle's dad when it's obvious to everyone that he is. But alright. That's fine. She can't ask him to change, and this doesn't feel like a subject he'd want to talk about, so she won't ask.
She doesn't need him to talk about everything.
But she'd like him to share important stuff. She won't make him – she can't make him. But still.
A little warning would be nice.