Chapter 4: Saying Farewell
A messenger had appeared at the doorstep of the Crickhollow house giving word of the funeral, which was to be held in Budgeford. Estella had retreated to her room for the rest of the day. Merry checked on her often that day, and Pippin went back to scavenging the pantry during mealtimes.
The next morning, Fredegar arrived with a caseload of Estella's clothes – most likely every article of clothing she had ever owned. Estella finally emerged. She greeted him silently, and they both went inside while Merry and Pippin helped the carriage driver haul in Estella's trunk. They were leaving that afternoon to travel to Budgeford; the funeral would be held the following morning.
Estella waded through the trunk, tossing out skirts and bodices and dresses onto the bed. Half of her wardrobe was made up of clothes owned by her mother. She let out a sigh of relief when she found what she had hoped was in there. She pulled out a pale yellow dress. It wasn't of any fancy design - just an old, plain, fitted dress - but her mother had loved it very much and wore it often. Estella laughed through her rising tears at the stain under the right sleeve.
It had been over twenty years ago, when Estella was a child; she had accidentally spilled juice on the kitchen floor. Rosamunda gently told her daughter to retrieve the mop from the supply closet. Before Estella could return, Fredegar had traipsed in, not watching where he was going, and slipped on the juice! It was a candid sight seeing Fred with a large spot of purple juice on the back of his breeches. They weren't sure, though, how it flew so high to actually land on Rosamunda's sleeve, but a spot of the purple juice was there for a whole two days before Rosamunda realized it. She was unsuccessful in extracting the stain on the sleeve (and Fred's breeches), but that didn't stop her from wearing it.
Estella hugged the dress close to her. She hadn't realized how much she missed her mother until just then. They were both gone now, and she would miss both terribly. Estella shook her thoughts away, and went to tell her brother she was ready to leave.
She found Fredegar, Merry, and Pippin in the great room sitting close to one another in armchairs. They were talking, and Estella pulled up short to listen when she heard her name mentioned.
"Has Estella been keeping herself busy?" That was Fred.
"She's cooked some of our meals," she heard Pippin answer. "I compliment her on her cooking, which really is very good. But, mostly, she has stayed in her room or the garden."
"I keep an eye on her." That was Merry. Estella moved a little closer to hear him better. "I know she will not do anything wrong to herself, but I hate to leave her alone."
"I do appreciate what you and Pippin have done for my sister."
"We will follow behind the carriage to Budgeford."
Fredegar waved a hand. "Merry, I don't want you to feel obligated to do that."
"Fredegar," Merry said, gripping Fred's shoulder. "We'll follow out of respect."
He was honestly touched, and Fred smiled because of it. Estella felt it was her turn to show herself, and she walked out from the hallway. "I am ready, Fred," she announced. All three lads stood at her entrance into the room.
They left after a short, quiet teatime. Fredegar and Estella disappeared into the carriage while Merry and Pippin saddled their horses. Then they started off for the ten-mile journey to Budgeford.
A closed, wooden casket sat at the front of a wide, brown field. Pavilions were scattered over the field. It was actually a sunny day with a slight breeze blowing. Estella did not desire to join the mass of hobbits that had gathered there. It was hard enough staying with the relatives.
Aunt Corilla, her father's sister, doted all over Estella until she felt as if she would be smothered to death from too much attention.
"Would you like some tea, dear? You're so pale; you need to lie down! I can see your father in your eyes."
The last statement was said through tears. Estella held back her frustration, and escaped to the guestroom. Aunt Corilla had been the only other caretaker for Odovacar, but mostly in his early stages of illness. Corilla was several years younger than her brother, and had a large family of her own. She had not the time to help with caring for Odo. But when there was time, she'd reprieve Estella of her duties for a little while.
Now it was time for the funeral, and Estella was dreading every moment of it. Fredegar was there, though, by her side. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, and he pulled her close to him.
"I do not wish to go through with this," Estella murmured in Fred's ear. "I will to mourn on my own."
"But, we aren't mourning, Stella," he assured, loosening his grasp to look at her. "We are celebrating Father's life."
Estella shook her head. "I cannot celebrate when I know how he suffered. Not even you, Fred, knew how he suffered in the last stages."
Fredegar did not argue. He frowned, knowing it was the truth.
When all were seated and quieted, Fredegar and Estella stood before the crowd to start the string of eulogies. Fred cleared his throat. "I thank you all for coming in respect of our father, Odovacar Bolger. I know he would truly appreciate all the fanfare just for him, and he would also hope that we celebrate his life instead of mourn him." He threw a sharp glare at Estella by his side, but she was looking at the ground. "We'll miss our father, but it is best that he is not suffering anymore. Let us feast and fellowship in his honor."
Fred turned to his sister, waiting for her to speak, but Estella shook her head and whispered to him, "I have nothing to say." Fred sighed then led her away. Corilla and her husband came up after them.
Many folks stood to say nice little somethings about Odo, but Estella paid no mind to the eulogies. After a while, it was over and the celebrating broke out. There would be no viewing of the body, by both Fred and Estella's request. They politely thanked everyone personally who attended, but Fred did most of the talking.
After their rounds of the crowd, Fred would not leave his sister's side, which all the more frustrated Estella. Fredegar had always gotten things backwards. 'He stays by my side when I least need him, and disappears from me when I most need him.' She bit her lips from bursting in anger, but she soon found a way to 'relieve' Fred of his watch over her.
"Why don't you go to her?"
"What?" Fred switched his gaze from the crowd to look at Estella in confusion.
"I know you have been keeping company with Melilot Brandybuck."
When Fred threw her a look that bordered on question and bashfulness, Estella answered, "I've been staying in the same house with Peregrin Took. Don't think his mouth doesn't run, especially after a mug of ale." She pushed Fred's shoulder. "Go to her. I'll be all right."
Fred cracked a small smile. "Thank you, Stella." He kissed her on the cheek and went to greet Melilot at her table.
Estella thankfully sighed. She wished she could vanish right there, but there was no hope of that happening. She could, however, leave. 'Hurry away before Auntie Corilla comes after me with more pity.' She thought for a moment that her attitude was too harsh, and slight guilt came over her. It didn't last long. She had a good reason to feel frustrated, and she wasn't going to cover it up for anyone.
She stood, locating the one person she did not feel maddened by. "Merry," she said softly, touching his shoulder. Merry turned from the group he was talking to, surprised.
"Yes, Estella?"
"I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving for Crickhollow."
He stepped away from the group, and murmured, "Right now?"
Estella nodded. "I can't be here any longer, and I do not desire to go back to my Aunt's smial."
"You want to go back to your refuge," he answered for her. Then he smiled and took her hands in his. "I understand. You are welcome in Crickhollow as long as needed. Pippin and I will be behind you shortly."
"You do not need to for my sake; I'll be fine. But please tell Fred I have left. I do not wish to hear his begging's for me to stay. I could not resist this time."
"I will inform him of your whereabouts."
"Thank you, Merry."
A messenger had appeared at the doorstep of the Crickhollow house giving word of the funeral, which was to be held in Budgeford. Estella had retreated to her room for the rest of the day. Merry checked on her often that day, and Pippin went back to scavenging the pantry during mealtimes.
The next morning, Fredegar arrived with a caseload of Estella's clothes – most likely every article of clothing she had ever owned. Estella finally emerged. She greeted him silently, and they both went inside while Merry and Pippin helped the carriage driver haul in Estella's trunk. They were leaving that afternoon to travel to Budgeford; the funeral would be held the following morning.
Estella waded through the trunk, tossing out skirts and bodices and dresses onto the bed. Half of her wardrobe was made up of clothes owned by her mother. She let out a sigh of relief when she found what she had hoped was in there. She pulled out a pale yellow dress. It wasn't of any fancy design - just an old, plain, fitted dress - but her mother had loved it very much and wore it often. Estella laughed through her rising tears at the stain under the right sleeve.
It had been over twenty years ago, when Estella was a child; she had accidentally spilled juice on the kitchen floor. Rosamunda gently told her daughter to retrieve the mop from the supply closet. Before Estella could return, Fredegar had traipsed in, not watching where he was going, and slipped on the juice! It was a candid sight seeing Fred with a large spot of purple juice on the back of his breeches. They weren't sure, though, how it flew so high to actually land on Rosamunda's sleeve, but a spot of the purple juice was there for a whole two days before Rosamunda realized it. She was unsuccessful in extracting the stain on the sleeve (and Fred's breeches), but that didn't stop her from wearing it.
Estella hugged the dress close to her. She hadn't realized how much she missed her mother until just then. They were both gone now, and she would miss both terribly. Estella shook her thoughts away, and went to tell her brother she was ready to leave.
She found Fredegar, Merry, and Pippin in the great room sitting close to one another in armchairs. They were talking, and Estella pulled up short to listen when she heard her name mentioned.
"Has Estella been keeping herself busy?" That was Fred.
"She's cooked some of our meals," she heard Pippin answer. "I compliment her on her cooking, which really is very good. But, mostly, she has stayed in her room or the garden."
"I keep an eye on her." That was Merry. Estella moved a little closer to hear him better. "I know she will not do anything wrong to herself, but I hate to leave her alone."
"I do appreciate what you and Pippin have done for my sister."
"We will follow behind the carriage to Budgeford."
Fredegar waved a hand. "Merry, I don't want you to feel obligated to do that."
"Fredegar," Merry said, gripping Fred's shoulder. "We'll follow out of respect."
He was honestly touched, and Fred smiled because of it. Estella felt it was her turn to show herself, and she walked out from the hallway. "I am ready, Fred," she announced. All three lads stood at her entrance into the room.
They left after a short, quiet teatime. Fredegar and Estella disappeared into the carriage while Merry and Pippin saddled their horses. Then they started off for the ten-mile journey to Budgeford.
A closed, wooden casket sat at the front of a wide, brown field. Pavilions were scattered over the field. It was actually a sunny day with a slight breeze blowing. Estella did not desire to join the mass of hobbits that had gathered there. It was hard enough staying with the relatives.
Aunt Corilla, her father's sister, doted all over Estella until she felt as if she would be smothered to death from too much attention.
"Would you like some tea, dear? You're so pale; you need to lie down! I can see your father in your eyes."
The last statement was said through tears. Estella held back her frustration, and escaped to the guestroom. Aunt Corilla had been the only other caretaker for Odovacar, but mostly in his early stages of illness. Corilla was several years younger than her brother, and had a large family of her own. She had not the time to help with caring for Odo. But when there was time, she'd reprieve Estella of her duties for a little while.
Now it was time for the funeral, and Estella was dreading every moment of it. Fredegar was there, though, by her side. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, and he pulled her close to him.
"I do not wish to go through with this," Estella murmured in Fred's ear. "I will to mourn on my own."
"But, we aren't mourning, Stella," he assured, loosening his grasp to look at her. "We are celebrating Father's life."
Estella shook her head. "I cannot celebrate when I know how he suffered. Not even you, Fred, knew how he suffered in the last stages."
Fredegar did not argue. He frowned, knowing it was the truth.
When all were seated and quieted, Fredegar and Estella stood before the crowd to start the string of eulogies. Fred cleared his throat. "I thank you all for coming in respect of our father, Odovacar Bolger. I know he would truly appreciate all the fanfare just for him, and he would also hope that we celebrate his life instead of mourn him." He threw a sharp glare at Estella by his side, but she was looking at the ground. "We'll miss our father, but it is best that he is not suffering anymore. Let us feast and fellowship in his honor."
Fred turned to his sister, waiting for her to speak, but Estella shook her head and whispered to him, "I have nothing to say." Fred sighed then led her away. Corilla and her husband came up after them.
Many folks stood to say nice little somethings about Odo, but Estella paid no mind to the eulogies. After a while, it was over and the celebrating broke out. There would be no viewing of the body, by both Fred and Estella's request. They politely thanked everyone personally who attended, but Fred did most of the talking.
After their rounds of the crowd, Fred would not leave his sister's side, which all the more frustrated Estella. Fredegar had always gotten things backwards. 'He stays by my side when I least need him, and disappears from me when I most need him.' She bit her lips from bursting in anger, but she soon found a way to 'relieve' Fred of his watch over her.
"Why don't you go to her?"
"What?" Fred switched his gaze from the crowd to look at Estella in confusion.
"I know you have been keeping company with Melilot Brandybuck."
When Fred threw her a look that bordered on question and bashfulness, Estella answered, "I've been staying in the same house with Peregrin Took. Don't think his mouth doesn't run, especially after a mug of ale." She pushed Fred's shoulder. "Go to her. I'll be all right."
Fred cracked a small smile. "Thank you, Stella." He kissed her on the cheek and went to greet Melilot at her table.
Estella thankfully sighed. She wished she could vanish right there, but there was no hope of that happening. She could, however, leave. 'Hurry away before Auntie Corilla comes after me with more pity.' She thought for a moment that her attitude was too harsh, and slight guilt came over her. It didn't last long. She had a good reason to feel frustrated, and she wasn't going to cover it up for anyone.
She stood, locating the one person she did not feel maddened by. "Merry," she said softly, touching his shoulder. Merry turned from the group he was talking to, surprised.
"Yes, Estella?"
"I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving for Crickhollow."
He stepped away from the group, and murmured, "Right now?"
Estella nodded. "I can't be here any longer, and I do not desire to go back to my Aunt's smial."
"You want to go back to your refuge," he answered for her. Then he smiled and took her hands in his. "I understand. You are welcome in Crickhollow as long as needed. Pippin and I will be behind you shortly."
"You do not need to for my sake; I'll be fine. But please tell Fred I have left. I do not wish to hear his begging's for me to stay. I could not resist this time."
"I will inform him of your whereabouts."
"Thank you, Merry."