A. N. : Happy viper-birthday ! This fic is 4 now and I still can't believe it. I legally have to send it to school now, damn. Anyway, as always I wrote a short fic for the occasion, this time focusing on Phat (you know, Piandao's butler ?), called "Of gold medals and cold fire". Be sure to check it out if you feel like it ! As for today's chapter title, loti (lotuses ?) are among the most sacred plants in buddhism, even featuring in the Eight Auspicious Symbols. As with roses, a blue lotus symbolizes something exceptional, but in this case it's more "a rare but good happening" and less "an unattainable dream".

Katara could let it go.

She could. Most of the talking has been done already, at least the one related to the most pressing issues, like the executions – Zuko's sister, killing their uncle under her father's orders, what kind of twisted and sick family is that !? – or Jet's newest reminder that he can't really be trusted – habits !? Anger, she could understand, if not accept, but to think he wouldn't be able to stop himself from obeying his habits –

It disgusts her. All of it.

It scares her, too, reminds her of the push and pull of Jet's blood and the way his arm moved like it had a life of its own, under her control.

Reminds her of his face, of his voice when he asked her to stop, of how it felt somewhat far away, of how for a second she thought she wouldn't stop, thought she didn't quite want to, even if her whole being was revolted at the sight. Controlling Jet felt good. Felt powerful. Felt like drowning.

Maybe… maybe she can understand Jet's habits, even if just a little, even if it doesn't disgust her any less.

So yes. She could let all of this go. Could decide to call it a day and leave other talks for some later time, after they rescued Suki and Zuko's uncle and they're all in safety somewhere – Sokka said depending on how things went, they might try to head for Tongpan and see if there's a message left for them there, or they could go to the Western Air Temple to plan their later moves, or maybe even try and regroup with Dad and the others at Shu Jing instead, but that remains to be seen.

Katara could wait until then to break the ice that's been growing all over the group, encasing all of them and keeping them separate. She could.

But she is tired of it, tired of Zuko keeping everything to himself, tired of Toph refusing to act a little responsibly, tired of Jet always being on the brink of doing something terrible and Zuko acting like it's fine and he'll deal with it even though he's barely talked to Jet, or anyone other than Aang for that matter, in about a week.

If things don't change fast, the group will explode like a jar filled with water and forgotten outside. And Katara can't bear it.

We need to talk, she says, like they haven't been doing this for a while now, ever since they landed. Like they haven't been doing this at all since Jet's cueing back in Jang Hui, or even before that, since Zuko and Jet joined them and Aang fell in Ba Sing Se and Katara was so, so scared of losing him, of losing Tribe again and he was dead, if it hadn't been for the Spirit Water he would've been gone for good –

She breathes.

Aang's almost-death left her out of balance, like his wound somehow left an imprint on her own back, the same as mom's necklace sometimes feels like it's strangling her when she isn't strong enough to hope. It doesn't feel like something she needs to say now, like something worth saying at all, and it probably isn't, but she needs honesty from the others, needs them to talk and expose their own wounds and untold words and make the ice between them shatter.

They might not find the Avatar in there, but anything is better than keeping things as they are.

Katara needs honesty, so that's what she gives. She wishes Sokka hadn't gone to sleep already, wishes he were by her side, a hand on her shoulder, giving her strength. But she can do this. She needs to do this.

She talks about how she felt when Aang died – sees him wince and bring a hand to his heart, and that almost makes her stop – talks about how much she prayed in the seconds that felt like days while she waited for the Spirit Water to please please please heal him, talks about how scared she was, both of losing Aang and of losing the world's hope, and how scared she still is that Zuko's sister will finish what she started once they walk into her trap willingly.

She stops. She feels tiny, wants Sokka to hold her hand – he does, she didn't realize he got up when she was speaking but he did, and she doesn't have the words to thank him for simply being here, so all she does is squeeze his hand back and hope he'll get it.

Aang says he's scared, too, that he – he hasn't been able to get anywhere close to the Avatar State since… since Azula shot lightning at him. But maybe it's for the best, he says, Roku told him that if he dies in the Avatar State, the Cycle will end.

He looks to the ground. Katara tries not to think about what almost happened, about how there was almost no hope left at all, and she closes her eyes to chase the images from her mind. Sokka swears, and she elbows him.

There's a beat, heavy and dark like black snow, that Toph is the one to break, to Katara's surprise. She looks uneasy, head low and fists closed tight. Her voice shakes in a way Katara hasn't heard since that day they went to the spa together.

It smelled like burned grease – it takes Katara a moment to understand what she means by that, but then she sees Zuko's left hand hovering near his face, and Jet's hand on Toph's shoulder, and she gets it.

Katara remembers Aang's face, so pale and void of anything, his half-closed eyes and the red lightning-like marks crawling up his neck. She still dreams of it sometimes.

Toph remembers what she can.

She looks so fragile right now, and Katara knows Toph would hate hearing that, probably hates exposing herself this way – but she did.

So Katara takes a step forward, holds Toph's hand, slips her fingers through Toph's tightly closed fist, gently, and squeezes. Toph raises her head, presses her lips together for a second, then nods. She squeezes back.

Momo chirps from Aang's shoulder, and Aang smiles at him, then at Katara and her two companions in hand-holding, before grabbing Toph's free hand and pressing his forehead to her shoulder, eyes closed, seeking comfort as much as giving it.

And then Jet holds out his hand for Zuko, and Katara takes in a sharp breath. It feels like Roku's island all over again – and La, if she could get her hands on Roku and shake him until he realizes how much of a stupid move that was, no offense meant – feels like whatever ice she just managed to melt away is on the brink of re-growing, even thicker than before.

If Zuko steps out now, Katara thinks nothing anyone does will make him come back. It scares her.

Zuko looks at them, looks at Jet, then at Toph and Aang. His fingers brush his own cheek, right below the scar, and his eyes drop to Lin. He lowers his hand, gently pets the top of her head. He breathes out. His eyes and hand don't move from Lin when he presses the tip of his fingers against Jet's palm.

Katara hears the ice crack.

She smiles.