A/N: If there is anyone out there still reading this story, you have Tate Dean to thank for me finally updating. I was planning to in a while anyway now that I'm inspired again, but her reviews just put me in the best mood. I had no choice in the matter. They were too cute. And everyone else who's been prodding me…you guys are the reason I'm updating at all.

…………………

Ravings of a Madwoman

…………………

"That's really low." George said.

Lee nodded. "Dirty even."

I couldn't agree with them more. We were in their room where I had just confessed everything to them, like I had with Fred earlier. They were a bit more understanding than he had been surprisingly. Usually, it's as if they share a brain.

And the low, dirty thing they were referring to? Cedric's underhanded maneuvers. Actually, they were more upset than I was. Even more surprising-they were adamant that the whole thing was Percy's fault.

"He never should have said a word to Cedric. If he hadn't, then this whole thing would be far less complicated." George declared.

"But if he hadn't, then we never would have known how rotten Cedric really is." Fred pointed out.

"True." Lee, ever the voice of reason, said.

"I hate guys. The whole lot of them. They're not worth half the trouble they cause." I muttered.

Three pairs of eyes were glaring at me menacingly. "And what about us?" Fred demanded.

"Oh come on. I don't think of you guys as guys." I paused. "Hang on, that didn't sound right."

"If we're not guys," George inquired, "then what are we?"

"You're friends. Friends are people you trust who will help you pull off hair brained schemes that are likely to get you expelled. Guys are…nuisances." I explained.

They looked slightly mollified. Except George. "I still don't get it."

I sighed in exasperation. "I wouldn't date you guys. You're like my brothers. Kind of like…you dating Hermione."

"Gotcha." he said.

"So what are we gonna do about Cedric?" Lee piped up.

"I'm gonna kill him." I said simply. "A lot. And painfully. Then it's on to your dear older brother and our beloved captain. "

"Knew we should have packed those funeral robes." Fred said, popping a Fizzing Whizbee into his mouth.

"Maybe you don't have to kill them. Just make them think you're going to." Lee said. Gotta love him. In the past six years, he's been the lone voice of sanity amidst our lunacy. Every time a plan gets too radical or out of hand, he's always the one who makes us see what kind of trouble we're headed for before we get into deep.

But on this particular matter, he was entirely mistaken.

"I have a problem with that scenario." I told him.

"What?"

"I don't get to hit them."

George and Fred both collapsed into laughter.

Lee rolled his eyes and announced he was going to dinner. The three of us followed.

…………………

"Hot oil?"

"Too messy." Fred replied.

"Giant squid?"

"How would you catch it?" George asked.

"Trumped up charge for Snape?"

"That might work." Lee said.

Good. Now I had the preferable means of murder down. Now I just needed my victims.

I stopped dead at the entrance to the Great Hall, seeing said victims in a huddle in the far corner of the room, each with matching angry looks on their faces.

That's it. This means war.

I felt one of the guys reach out a hand to stop me, but I jerked away and charged right toward them.

Hanging out with the twins has given me the sort of reputation in school that makes people steer clear of me when I'm intent on doing something. And I suppose hanging Flint from the hoop didn't hurt, either. Either way, students were stepping out of my way as I made my way to the end of the room like I was six-ten and four hundred pounds.

"You three!" I yelled.

The boys all clamed up as soon as I spoke. Their angry looks all dissolved into fear as I approached.

I stopped about a half foot from them, almost breathing fire by now I was so angry. "What the hell is your problem! I never really thought guys in general were all that bright, but you guys, you could make a Slytherin look smart." Several Gryffindors nearby chuckled at this.

"Katie…" Cedric began, stepping forward.

"Oh no. Don't think you can charm your way out of this one. You are just as bad as dumb and dumber here." I pointed between Percy and Oliver.

"I resent that." Percy said.

"Tough." I replied. I overheard Ron cackling delightedly behind me. By then, the entire hall was quiet. I realized that everybody, even the professors, were glued to us like some sort of Muggle soap opera come to life.

"Katie, can't we talk about this in private?" Oliver pleaded.

"Why Oliver? Afraid someone will overhear about how the great Oliver Wood is nothing but a big chicken that has his best friend do his dirty work for him?"

Oliver paled, then blushed crimson.

"Or that everybody will find out that perfect Head Boy Percy warned Cedric off me like some sort of crime boss so that you wouldn't get your feelings hurt?"

I turned to Percy.

"What about you? You want to do this in private so no one will ever find out about that little conversation? Or the fact that you lied to my face when I asked you about what you said to Cedric?"

Who just happened to be my next target.

"And you. Cedric Diggory. Always going on about honesty and fair play. What's fair about going after a girl after you promise you won't. There's no honor in trying to turn me against Oliver by making sure I overhear just how horrible he is because he had Percy tell you that he liked me. And what did you do? You said you wouldn't do anything, then you rant about ho awful he is so I'll pick you."

Boy, did that feel good.

By this point every mouth in the room was hanging open and the guys each looked as if they wanted to just dissolve into the floor.

"Do you three have anything to say for yourselves?" I crossed my arms over my chest and waited.

No one said anything.

"If there weren't teachers here I'd deck you all!" I screamed.

Turning on my heel, I marched out of the Great Hall, leaving whispers and laughter in my wake. "I'm going to a convent!" I declared to Sir Nicholas as he passed me.

"Good luck." he called back.

Typical. Even when they're dead, men are pigs.