So I had sudden inspiration to write a Nagatoro fic. Not sure why, it just happened. This is merely an OC one-shot with my most popular OC, Anthony Messuri. Instead of going to Kuoh in High School DxD, he goes to Nagathro's. There hasn't been much planning behind this fic either, as I'm not sure I'll even continue it. In any case, enjoy.

Anthony Messuri/Nagatoro - Oneshot

Once Anthony got his tray of food, he was in for quite the surprise… the lunch room was packed! Not a single free seat was available.

*What the fuck? The cafeteria's never this full! Where'd the hell everyone come from?!* He asked himself then noticed out of the corner of his eye, a boy and a girl, a couple most likely, rushed in but the boy had kindly taken off his jacket and wrapped it around his girlfriend, whom was thankful. *No wonder… Jack Frost came early this year…* Anthony grumbled. He looked around some more, but every table was taken. For once, he needed a break from art and game designing, so he figured he'd eat out here instead of the art room, and look how that turned out. *Can this day get any worse?*

He regretted asking that when… "Senpai!"

He flinched… no. Not today. Not her again. Looking in the voices direction, he saw a certain girl that made his life a living hell ever since meeting her…

*Oh boy… Elemen-toro again…* He then noticed there was a free seat next to her, as she was sitting across from 2 other girls. Both had brightly-colored hair, but one let hers fall naturally and was orange, while the other was blonde and had hers done in ponytails on each side of her head. They also had noticeably bigger busts than Nagatoro's… her friends no doubt. *And then there were three… perrrrrfect…* He mentally groaned. He did have to admit though, like Nagatoro, they looked pretty cute… which he was 99% sure hid the same vulgar as she had. Least he could hope these girls were normal.

"There's a seat next me! Come on!" Nagatoro said, calling Anthony again and putting him on the spot, also tapping the seat next to her. This also caught some attention of other students, but they quickly went back to eating and/or talking amongst themselves, not really interested.

*Does she plan on this shit to happen, or does she just arrange it? I swear to God…* Anthony thought. He then looked around, thinking what he should do. He could just walk away, with his sanity and dignity intact; or he could sit with them and possibly lose his mind. He could deny Nagatoro, which would come across rude, which he also didn't care if it did; but with so many people around, it could spell disaster. Sighing/groaning, he took a seat with the 3 girls, then took a sip of his drink once he sat down.

Nagatoro's friends' smirked. "Your boyfriend?" Asked the girl with ponytails, smiling a silly smile as she did so and was obviously a jab, which normally would have gotten a gag reflex outta Anthony from both the drink if he not already had swallowed, and the ridiculous claim itself. Before he could answer, Nagatoro cuddled up to him by wrapping her arms around his arm that was closest to her.

"Yup. We're going steady," she answered, teasing back with that stupid smile. She then leaned up a little closer to Anthony. "Right, Senpai?" She 'asked' with a mock-loving stare.

"Oh, its steady alright," grumbled Anthony as Nagatoro kept nuzzling him afterward. He tried to ignore it, but a cute girl showing 'affection' did get his cheeks to heat up slightly; even though he knew this was an act.

The other two girls mere stared and blinked for a moment before they both laughed. "So, Paisen? How far have you both gotten?" Asked the Orange-Haired girl.

Anthony blinked once, but this wasn't a genuine one. Since Nagatoro already started, he felt the need to bite back. "How far? You crazy?" Anthony said, which did get Orange Hair confused, but then he pointed at Nagatoro with his thumb. "Any farther, she'll snap in half."

"Gah!" Nagatoro looked stunned at Anthony's witty responses as usual, and this got both Orange Hair and Blonde Ponytails laughed again, a bit harder this time, finding Anthony's sex joke genuinely funny. The tan-skinned freshman recovered and threw a new roast of her own. "Senpai… I'd cut off your circulation if we did that."

"That just proves my point." Anthony calmly said, them picked up the bun he got as a side dish. "If you jab me up there with you being so small…" he continued, ripping the bun upwards clean down the middle and making a ripping sound effect with his lips. Nagatoro was left silent again, and this only served to make the duo across from them laugh even harder, Orange holding a side of her belly and Ponytails banging on the table with a fist a few times. They've heard Westerns had no filter and were straightforward (despite all the complaining that comes from their side of Twitter), but this was a level they didn't expect. It was goddamn hilarious!

"So, who is this guy again, Hayacchi?" Asked Orange-haired girl, recovering from her laugh attack.

"Messuri. But you can use my first name, Anthony. That'd be preferable." Anthony said, also requesting they use his first name as he picked up some of his food with his chopsticks and popped the bit into his mouth... just felt weird being called by his last name, ya know? Of course, the two new girls looked surprised at this, someone having such a request upon first meeting them, which Anthony noticed. "It's really not that deep..." He took a sip of his drink again, then added upon putting it down and thumb-pointing to Nagatoro again: "then again, neither is she."

For the 3rd time, the duo on the opposing end of the table burst out laughing, in fact getting to attention of some nearby tables as well. This guy was great! He really knew how to kept the ball rolling, and then kick it again when it stops. Nagatoro just continued to stare at him, nothing strong enough of a taunt immediately came to mind. The ponytailed girl then recovered from her laughing after a moment. "Well, in that case..." she placed a hand on top of Anthony's, looking directly into the American's eyes. "Want to go out with me instead?" She asked, trying not to giggle as she asked it. She honestly never had so much of a laugh until this boy came around.

Nagatoro stared down at the touching hands... only this time it was a different kind of stare...

Anthony responded by putting his other free hand on top of Ponytail's, meeting her gaze as well. "I'd love to, Suzuka Dairenji," he said with a sarcastic smile, then glanced at Orange-Hair. "Annnnnnd, if you bring Orange Rias along for the ride..."

'Suzuka' couldn't take it, and fell back in her chair, her and 'Rias' laughing again. Just hearing the word 'ride' and its possible context made them duo lose it again. In fact, their laughing was so loud, the table behind and in front of them both emptied, those students apparently having enough and just wanted to eat lunch in peace. Despite this, Nagatoro continued to stare with that strange stare.

"Hey, Nagatoro? You going to speak up, or do you want him to have a girl on the side?" 'Rias' joked.

"On the side! Hahahaha!" Said 'Suzuka', pointing with both hands.

"Yeeeeah. So funny" Nagatoro smiled and tapped Anthony's head a few times, though she had not fully recovered from whatever emotions triggered that stare.

"Then again, he looks more of a pet than a boyfriend" said the orange-haired girl, an obvious jab.

"Well, I am cute and cuddly" Anthony said, mentioning when Nagatoro nuzzled him.

"Hear that, Senpai? Your my pet. A big, fluffy pet" Nagatoro said, now rubbing Anthony's hair a bit hard, still not having fully recovered from the strange stare she gave and trying to cover it up, not that either of the other girls noticed it as they were laughing so hard at the time to notice.

"Fluffy!" Said the blonde but as she reached to pet Anthony as well, her hand was stopped by Nagatoro's.

"His hair's full of gamer grease. You don't want to touch it." Was all Nagatoro said, giving another strange stare with almost blank eyes.

The blonde across the time looked a little confused, but retracted her hand away. "Uh… yeah, ok." Was her response.

"Ok, first of all: hands off the merchandise," said Anthony (still being sarcastic), lifting one his hands to wave off the one Nagatoro was rubbing him with. Once that was done, be continue. "Second of all, I take pride in my gamer grease! Its all part of the gaming culture!" He said.

Nagatoro started messing with his hair again after that, as Anthony picked up another mouthful with his chopsticks and tried to eat in peace… at least, as much peace as possible with the people around him. He ignored it though, praying she'll eventually stop.

The orange haired girl grinned, noticing the reactions and understood why Nagatoro was doing this, though admittedly didn't think the slender teen was a tsundere type. "You look like a slave" she said. This did get Anthony's and Nagatoro's attention, though one of Nagatoro's eyes suddenly became different colored.

"… I think she's talking to y-…" was his response while turning his head to look at Nagatoro, but she cut him off by tapping his head again.

"Hear that, Senpai? Your my slave. So finishing eating then do work for me!" Nagatoro said.

"Work!" Repeated the blonde with ponytails, lifting her hand to try and touch Anthony again… which Nagatoro immediately stopped by grabbing the wrist of the offender. The ponytailed girl was confused again, and Nagatoro just stared blankly at her. Eventually, she pulled back, which Nagatoro let go of her wrist once she felt the arm go in the opposite direction. Ponytails then looked down in what appeared to be shame.

"… I don't think she likes parrots." Anthony whispered to Ponytails after cupping a hand over his mouth. He felt bad for the blonde, but he couldn't help but cock an eyebrow in Nagatoro's direction and think the following to himself: *What is up with her today? Are these her friends or not?… Thought she'd love a group teasing each other.* The American was stumped at this new side to Nagatoro. She teased him over and over, joined in with a few jabs at him from the new girls, but NOW she had a problem? He couldn't figure it out.

Orange 'Rias' grinned a bit more before speaking up again. "This is great and all, but I can't see him as even a slave either… perhaps a bug?"

Anthony was about to answer back to that, and also comment how weak of an insult that was (pretty much every insult these girls threw at him was weak), but that's when the stare Nagatoro had earlier fully returned. "That's going too far." She said in a serious tone, which was very unlike her. The sudden tension between the two made the other two react, both surprised at the escalation.

"Sorry. Did I dis your boyfriend too hard?" Orange Hair 'asked', keeping her smile on her face.

"That's not the point." Nagatoro said, keeping her gaze locked on the orange-haired girl.

Anthony didn't know what to think. Was this girl, who cracked jokes on him daily, now defending him? Don't get him wrong, that was nice gesture and all, but it didn't seem necessary for her to get THIS worked up over it either… or maybe being called a bug in Japan was somehow the worse thing to be called. Oranges "insult", if one can even call it that, didn't have good delivery earlier. Compared to what he's heard in Morden Warfare 2 lobbies that kids wanted to do to his mom, these girls had ALLOT to learn.

"Yo, Naga? It's not that big of a deal… really." Anthony insisted, tapping her shoulder to try and snap her out of it. If wasn't working and the slender girl kept staring at the orange haired one with intent to kill. "Slender-Woman. I'm serious, can ya cut it out? I can see your tentacles." Anthony tried again, tapping slightly harder which did start making the girl look back to him, but still held the same expression. A fantasy of Nagatoro as the aforementioned creepypasta appeared for a few seconds but it has her current expression and hair.

"I've heard worse from 10-year-old rage quitters wanting to bend my mother backward like a pretzel than anything Donna Trump here says. Believe me." He insisted a second time, also jabbing at Orange Hair for good measure.

The thing Anthony said he heard about his mom seemed to snap Nagatoro out of it, but she looked shocked at what he said. Even Ponytails and Orange did too, none of them ever hearing something like that. "Eh?!" Nagatoro said, genuinely surprised at what she heard.

"I'll tell ya when your older." Anthony said to them, finally going back to his meal by taking another drink, then bite. They honestly thought that was bad? That was one of the more tame things he's heard in those lobbies!

XXX

After lunch and at the end of the day, Anthony went back to the art room to draw again, and of course Nagatoro had followed him and showed up after a minute or so, with Anthony commenting: "Oh look. A lost kitty!" before they spent time in said room. He had also learned the names of those 2 girls back at lunch. The one who repeated everything was named Yoshi (that opened up the door to many new jokes he'll throw at her later on), and the orange-haired girl was Maki. They seemed to like him and enjoyed his company, which he prayed he won't regret later on.

But even after all that time, he still couldn't figure out why Nagatoro had the sudden urge to play Mama Bear. As of right now, she was reading one Anthony's books on game designing, either out of boredom (most likely) or genuine interest. "So how were my friends, Senpai?" Nagatoro suddenly asked.

"Well, they didn't bug me…" Was his answering, mocking Maki's last 'insult'.

"Even if they didn't, you should smack them." Said Nagatoro, then visualized what she meant by slapping Anthony's shoulder with a backhand. "By smacking the offender and turning it into slapstick, you can turn a dis into a derp."

Anthony stared at her, not too sure about that. Where he came from, a smack or just merely tapping a woman in America turned into something other than slapstick or a derp: assault, harassment, sexual harassment, sexual assault, misogyny, cis-white male privilege… take your pick.

"I think it'll turn into a charge faster than a derp," he said, dryly.

"Come on! Just try it!" Nagatoro insisted.

Groaning, Anthony reluctantly agreed. "… fine." The sun was going down at this point anyway and he didn't have the energy to argue with her. The younger girl dragged him to a side of the room before clapping and sliding to the center of the room in front of the chalkboard.

"Thank yoooooou! Thank yoooooou!" Said Nagatoro. "So the other day as I was walking to school, there was a scarecrow standing in the middle of the road…"

"Stand-up?" Anthony asked, but didn't get answer for that question as Nagatoro just continued her routine.

"So then I thought to myself, why was a scarecrow standing there of all places, and in the city?" Nagatoro then gained a silly smile. "So I walked up to take a closer look and… it was Anthony-Senpai!" Ok. Anthony had to give her credit, that one was decent. Compared to the 1.2 out of 10 star jokes she usually comes up with, that was a solid 3.

"Come on! The smack!" She added, lifting up Anthony's arm and smacking her own shoulder with it.

"Or I can just toss your thin, lightweight, stick body out the window." Anthony's response triggered a laugh track, which Nagatoro reacted too, but then recovered quickly.

"Scarecrow Senpai! Scarecrow Senpai! Scarecrow Senpai!" She obnoxiously repeated a few times.

"You are the worst stand-up, ever." Anthony said. Seriously, he's heard better comedy from Purple-Haired Feminists'. Even that one anime that came out before he moved to Japan, written by said Feminists' (which had 1.3 out of 5 stars) was better than her… what was it called again? High Guardian Herbs or some shit?

"Smack, Senpai! Smack!" Nagatoro said. When he did not, she then grinned. "Or are you just a sheep? Want me to trim your fluffy wool for you? I'll need a HUGE electric razor! Fluffy, fluffy, buzz! Fluffy, fluffy, buzz! Fluffy, fluffy, buzz! Fluffy, fluffy, buzz!" The slender freshman then danced around a bit upon saying that, which while the insult was weak, it was her repeating that came across as VERY annoying.

"Ugh! FINE!" He said, finally having enough and wanted her to stop annoying him, so he gave her a smack…

Smoosh.

He missed, backhanding her bust instead! Both students reacted accordingly, both being shellshocked at what just happened, though it took a few seconds for the blow to register in their brains before they both yelped out and then turned away from each other, Nagatoro hugging her chest as her face became beet red.

"S-Sorry." He apologized, not wanting to do that. Nagatoro was still red in the face, but then put a hand on Anthony's shoulder.

"S-See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" She smiled, trying to play off her embarrassment. "Unless…" she added, then her eyes changed shape and size like they do when her teasing intensifies. "You hit me there on purpose?"

Anthony quickly defended himself. "Phffft! On purpose?" He said, then folded his arms and looked away again. "PLEASE! I don't have a thing for preschoolers!" He continues. Him slap her tits on purpose?… Yeah right! She was the LAST person he wanted to cop a feel from!

"You Hentai!"

"You wish!"

"You supposed to smack the shoulder!"

"It was an accident, just drop it!"

"Your a Closet Pervert, Senpai!"

"Yet I'm not the one who follows me like my shadow!"

"Were you enacting some kind of fetish?"

"Says the 'vampire' who tried sucking me!"

"Did my chest feel good, Senpai?"

"Can someone throw me out the window! I will momentarily jump off the roof!"

END

That's pretty much all I got. Not allot, I know. But if this does get attention, I guess I'll continue. Not sure as of right now. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see ya next time!