Just as the earth has moons, most other planets have moons. A moon is a natural satellite that helps a planet to stay in orbit. Some find the moons are less important than the planets however I find that they are the martyrs of the solar system, floating in one place for eternity, forever giving themselves to the use of others. 3/23/06
Brushing a strand of her light blue hair from her eye and standing from her bed, the 18 year old girl looked over her decrepit apartment which contained nothing more than a hospital bed and a desk with a few scattered poems. This girl would sigh as she slid into a white business suit. She grunted and stepped into some white heels accented by blue and picked up a white umbrella just as she exited the door. She was on the 13th floor of the Imamaru Apartment Complex in Shinjuku and she would usually take the elevator but today she ran down the deserted stairs breathing heavily. "I've... Got a terrible feeling about this day."
Soon after she arrived at the main street she climbed into a taxi which led her to the Juuban Hospital. As it moved she watched the lights pass by in a hazy manor as the windows were veiled in rain. When she exited the cab at the hospital she approached the front desk and a large nurse came to help her "Can I help you with something" The girl, who didn't speak much, cleared her breath bashfully before speaking "I'm here to see my Father. Sosuke Yumenaka" The nurses mask smile changed quickly into a frown and her voice flowed into a much more compassionate tone "You're... His daughter...?" Again this girl spoke, when she very much hated the sound of her voice, She had from an early age been taught that "Children should be seen, not heard." the hard way. Should she even whimper in the house her father would throw her by her neck into a wall. She had always loved her mother but her father was a different story. Since her mother had been plagued with Tuberculosis she had died young but her bitter father had lived to be old and his cruelness had slowly eaten away at him. He'd slowly realized what he'd done to his only child his mental state slipped away from him. "Yes... I'm Kagami Yumenaka" The nurse looked to some of the other nurses and doctors, they all gave each other sad looks before the one she had spoken with stood and led her to the psychiatric ward. It was busier than usual and there was a police officer talking to a doctor at the front desk. When she finally reached her fathers room she peered in the window.
Occasionally the stars will align in such a peculiar way that one souls path becomes clouded. These clouds prevent you for seeing something for what it really is and getting to know yourself and those around you. Today was this day for Kagami. A day she would never forget. What this girl saw as she peered into the window was a lifeless figure hanging from a bed sheet which had been tied around an overhead air vent. His eyes were open and his head was tilted to the left. A doctor approached her and put his hands on her shoulder to keep her from fainting but the girl quickly turned and sent a fist directly at his face. She stopped it only inches away from his nose and looked down. "I'm sorry" she said. The doctor nodded and handed her a piece of hospital paper. In messy handwriting was a note.
"Kagami, while I was in my room last night. I saw an angel. I asked her if she had come to save me from the hell I was trapped in here but she told me that she was here to save you instead. She tied the noose and told me to step up when I was ready. She asked me to tell you to always remember her. Her name was Umbriel."
Kagami looked at the paper for a long time while her father's body was wheeled out. She sighed. His death seemed like a good thing... But... from the hospital he was no longer a threat to her and it seemed like sort of a waste.
We must wonder, When a person is alive their entire life is about the imprints they make on other people. With this man, Kagami thought he had only made negative impressions on those around him. From what she'd seen this may have been correct. Let's return to an earlier time, Shall we?
A young girl sat alone in a large room cradling a baby doll, tears rolling from her eyes. She spoke softly to the doll "I know you like it when I take care of you... But I wish someone could rock me back and forth too…" Her father entered the room looking tired and irritable. He had come from the next room where the girl's mother's hospital bed was. They had at home hospice care for her as they were financially quite comfortable. He stared at Kagami "You're five years old… I think you need to stop playing with dolls. You stupid brat. Your mother is trying to sleep and you just keep talking. Her illness is your fault. If her immunities hadn't been weakened by childbirth she would be fine. You selfish little runt!" With this said he grabbed her baby doll from her hands and held it in front of her, breathing fast before ripping its head off. He let the dismembered baby fall to the floor and just as Kagami thought he would finally leave her alone he sent a blunt kick to her ribs. She whimpered so he kicked her again. "You're worthless." With this done he left the room leaving the girl throbbing in pain with nothing to clutch. "I've always been alone but… Now I have nothing to protect...I failed."
You see, this girl had a terrible, terrible childhood… You'd find that if you became good friends with Kaga, She refuses to even call this a childhood and instead calls it her past. However… Depression is a demon and it works in terrible ways. Let's observe another time, only a few minutes before this.
"Darling… I know you're in pain… I'm so sorry." A man about 40 stood above the bad where a terribly thin woman who was thirty four but looked much older was shaking in pain. She tried to speak but her words came out in thin raspy whispers "I love you… And I love my daughter… She's beautiful… She'll… Be having a birthday soon you know. I hope I'm still alive by then." The man spoke again, as tears fell down his face. "Don't you see…? If you hadn't given birth you'd have never gotten sick. That child is your death." "But Sosuke, I would have died anyway… At some time… This girl will live on for me, and for our family." Kagami's father looked to the gray tiled floor. "I just love you so much"
So you'll see that this man was terribly depressed but still, He tried hard and donated most of his energy to keeping his wife at peace… Where there is darkness there is always light. When humans are in pain the first thing they do is blame someone or something. It can never be one's own fault, always its someone else's. My own mother killed herself when I was very young and immediately my grandmother blamed my father. My father was a lot like the father in the story. He never hit me and it was always clear that he loved me but he would often fail to perform tasks that normal parent's don't think about. He'd forget to cook dinner, or he'd not tell me where he was going when he'd leave the house. There are some… Larger things that I don't care to mention because this would take away from your opinions of my father, he was a good man, just a very sad one. His mother had killed herself as well and when his wife did I'm sure he snapped. So you'll see that depression is a terrible thing which only leads to negativity. Another scene I'd like to visit and possibly the most amazing is here.
A young woman stood, early in the morning, just after the sun had risen. She had light blue hair which was flying left with the wind. Her bangs were just above her eyes and the rest was around her jaw line. Her right hand shot up and held a silk folding fan with a blue and white pattern on it. As she opened it she spoke to reveal a confident and authoritive voice which made those around her feel very secure "Tethys Lunar Metamorphosis!" a white silk ribbon which had been tied around her neck uncoiled and dropped to her hand where it swayed gracefully in the wind for a moment before becoming rigid and straight like a sword. It pointed directly left with her extended left arm and then it dropped to the ground, cutting into the earth. The fan began to disappear and the girl spun making a perfect circle be cut in the rock around her. A stream of cold water shot smoothly up from the crack in a spiral covering the parts of her body which needed be. Soon the water spread and the only vision you could see of her was through the water and was very blurry. Soon the water lowered and then stopped completely to show a girl dressed in a full light blue and white kimono with long sleeves and a short skirt. The girl wore nor a smile nor a frown but pointed her hand out and let her sleeve come up slightly, showing her delicate wrist. "I'm Sailor Tethys, The Protector of the weak and defenseless. I will always stand where there is darkness and let a ray of shining light pierce the darkness. I am Sailor Tethys!"
You may not recognize this girl at all but I'll tell you who she is. This extraordinary woman you've just seen is none other than our subject. Miss Kagami Yumenaka. So if you're still reading. I'm asking you with all my heart to keep reading so that you can see what keeps this girl going. This story is the only thing that's stood by me when I've been depressed and when its done I'll feel ever worse and I'm sure I'll cry however as long as someone is reading it I'll always be grateful and my only wish is for my writing to bring joy and inspiration to others.
Returning to the hospital Kagami sighed. Though her fathers death was unneeded it proved to be a terrible relief to this girl, like her entire life she had carried 200 pounds on her back and finally they had dropped. She took a breath of air which was much crisper than usual and then left the hospital. Never again would she have to stare into his black eyes and wonder what kind of dark world they hid. Now she was free and could live her life as she wanted. She stared at her watch, lost in thought before she actually realized it was almost 3 o clock. "Damn… I'll be late." The girl rushed out of the hospital and again got into a cab. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining.
I love rainbows but when I see a real one in the sky I think of not the beauty itself but the fact that something that glorious has come from something so grim and painful as a thunderstorm.
Honestly rainbows make me sad. But on this day the sky was a new template and the only thing overhead were plump white clouds, a few doves and the shining sun which warmed Kagami's heart that day.
The cab driver was given directions and soon stopped at a huge two story building with a fence around it and a large field with basketball hoops and a track. This was Shinjuku Preparatory Academy. The woman ran up the fire escape to the roof where about 20 boys and girls around 14 were tuning and warming up on their stringed instruments. As the woman got to the top step they all turned silent. "I'm sorry, you can continue warming up for a few more minutes. I'm actually early today." She proceeded to walk towards an elegant black grand piano, her heals clicking as she walked until she finally sat at the bench and played a scale. She organized her sheet music and sat it on the stand before standing and looking to the group of children "I have a favor to ask of you all." The enthusiastic children silenced except for a few younger ones who were being sweet by saying such things as "Anything for you Ms. Yumenaka." Or just shouting "Of course we'll do it, whatever it is!" Again Kagami spoke "My father died this morning… And some of you know we didn't really get along however it is only right that I give him one last piece of me… And a little of you all too. Today I'd like us all to perform at our personal bests for the peace of my father, And I'd like all of you to try to be as nice as you can to every person you meet. Please turn to page 126 in your strings books and you'll find Bach's cannon in D. we've practiced this one for a long time and I think it will make him proud."
The students began playing an amazing song which followed an amazing melody which contained both incomparable joy and immeasurable sorrow. The beat was slow and fast all at once as the basses and cellos formed the heartbeat of the song and the violins and violas gave it life and emotion. Through it all Kagami pounded on the ivory keys of her piano which were wet, not from the rain but from her tears. As the song slowed to an end she gently removed herself from the piano and stood up. Tears were flowing freely. "Everyone stand up." The children did as they were told and again Kagami would talk "That performance was better than anything the entire Greater Tokyo Orchestra will ever do and I want you all to be proud of yourselves and never forget this day."