Title: Never Gone
Author: D. Sollers
Summary: FIRST THREE CHAPTERS REWRITTEN- AU. Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott were high school sweethearts with their whole future ahead of them. The news of a baby drives the couple apart and years later they must come to terms with the present, the past and the future. Couple: It's BL in flashbacks, BL in the future but BN in the present. Hopefully you'll be able to follow (slight Naley implications and Jeyton as well)
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with One Tree Hill except for a few overly played DVDs and a poster of Chad Michael Murray, who at the present time I would like to throw darts at. So…another words don't sue me
Author's Notes: Wow, thanks everyone who have taken their time to send me a review!They all mean a lot but thanks Amanda, who stayed in contact with me even though I wasn't writing. This is chapter five and I already have five more chapters done. Hopefully, the reviews will keep coming :-)
CHAPTER FIVE- Yesterday's Letter
"Well, well. Peyton told me you were back in town but I guess I couldn't believe it till I saw it with my own eyes," Jake said as he approached Lucas on the basketball court. The sun was setting and there was a light breeze in the air. He reached out a hand to his friend and smiled when Lucas shook it.
Lucas brought his friend into a quick hug and then chuckled to himself. "I guess I should be glad that Peyton told you. That way at least I have one friend still in this town. Although if you want to keep your girlfriend, I guess that's a bad idea."
"Wife actually. We got married two years ago," Jake corrected.
Lucas smirked. "Wow who would have thought that out of all of us you two were the ones who were involved with each other after all these years."
"We all thought you and Brooke would have been the first to be married," Jake said. He realized what he had said a moment too late and sighed. "Look Luke, I didn't mean anything by that. It's too bad that you and Brooke didn't work out. And you know you made a mistake but you're here now and that's got to count for something."
"Hopefully it does."
Jake shrugged his shoulders. "Well your daughter is great. She'll come around after a while. But come on. Tell me how things are in New York."
"Loud and exciting. I never realized it till now how much I missed all of this," Lucas explained. Tree Hill was such a beautiful town and the people that filled it were nice and polite. And it was quiet. Something that New York never was.
Jake sat down on the picnic table and Lucas looked over at him. "How's Haley?" Lucas asked sadly. It was hard for him to imagine how his best friend since he was a little kid was someone he barely knew anymore. And the things he did know about her, he knew from the news and the magazines.
"Well she was great. You've heard her album. She's so talented. And it seems like she genuinely has a huge fan base. But Chris Keller did a number on her head, let me tell you."
Lucas shook his head. He had never liked that guy. Since the moment the scrawny singer had come into his friends life, Lucas had known he brought bad news with him. But when Chris helped her with her demo and even managed to get her onto tour with the Wreckers, Lucas had convinced himself that he had been wrong. He couldn't help but think how funny it was that years later, he was right the first time.
"The breakup is all over the news. How is she taking it?" Lucas asked, concerned.
Jake shrugged his shoulders. "Too soon to tell I think. Brooke and Peyton are holding down the fort though. You know how those three are. One's hurt and the others are the mother hens coming to pluck your eyes out." Jake laughed as Lucas nodded his head in agreement.
"How's Nate?"
Jake nodded his head. "Good. He works at Isabella and Jenny's school, so he's really there for Izzy."
"That's great," Lucas said kicking the dirt below his feet. "How's Brooke?" He hadn't meant to whisper his name, but it had come out lightly. Perhaps because it was the hardest person to mention, or perhaps even because he felt like didn't have the right to say it. He didn't look up from the ground and silently prayed that whatever Jake was about to tell him wouldn't hurt his heart. Not that he didn't deserve it, he just wasn't ready to hear the truth.
But still he had to know.
"You really want to know Luke?"
At that moment, Lucas knew whatever it was he wasn't going to like. Still, he looked up at his lifelong friend and nodded his head. "How is she?" A lump formed in his throat, but still he ignored it.
"On the outside she's happy. Her daughter means the world to her and they have a close bond that I wouldn't understand if I didn't have Jenny. And you know Haley, Peyton and her have been friends since high school."
Lucas nodded his head. He was waiting for the bad news that he was sure was to come. "And on the inside?"
"She never dealt with you leaving. When she realized you weren't coming back she told Peyton that she locked that part of her away and no one would ever be able to touch it again. The part that believed in "the epic love" and had faith in people. She took your break up hard Luke. She's never really gotten over it and with you back in town it's going to bring up a lot of problems."
Lucas squinted his eyes down and sighed. "Is she seeing anyone?"
"I'm not going to lie to you Lucas," Jake said as he stood up. "She's involved. Whatever they are its her business and I am not getting in the middle of it. But you couldn't have been single for the last ten years either. So does it really matter if Brooke is involved?"
Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "I guess it doesn't."
……
Brooke looked down at the white nightgown in her hands and ran her fingers over the material. Her and Haley had decided that they needed to get out and shopping was the perfect way to get over a bad mood. At least that's what Brooke had thought. But as she walked through the mall, she couldn't help but feel sad.
It had been a couple of days since Isabella's birthday and the words from Lucas had still sent tears to her eyes. She didn't know why she was letting herself get so worked up over it. It didn't change the fact that Lucas was still in another city and that at the present time, she was somewhat involved with his brother.
"Penny for your thoughts," Haley said as she snapped a finger in front of her friends face. Brooke shrugged her shoulders and Haley frowned at her friend. "Look this was your idea, it wasn't supposed to make you sad. This was a fun thing remember? In high school we would blow off fifth period and come to the mall."
Brooke smiled sadly as she held up a red bikini. "That was a long time ago. When I would wear something like this in order to make Lucas lose it." Brooke's eyes widened. Haley raised an eyebrow.
"What made you think of Lucas?"
"You. Just now, you were talking about high school. Lucas and I were together in high school," Brooke tried to cover. The last thing she needed was anyone asking why he was haunting her thoughts recently. Haley raised an eyebrow and Brooke knew that Haley didn't buy it. "Alright fine. It's just that…you know the letters that Lucas sends Is?"
Haley nodded her head so Brooke continued. "Well this years letter…he brought me up in it. And I have just been being bothered by it. That's all."
"Bothered by it how?" Haley asked knowingly.
Brooke sighed and pulled the garments she was buying into her arms before moving away. Haley followed behind her, awaiting her response. "I can't sleep. I keep having these visions of him here Haley. And I shouldn't. It's been ten years and I've moved on."
"Have you really?"
Brooke raised an eyebrow. "Nathan and I live together Haley. How can you even ask if I've really moved on. Of course I have. It's been years since we've been together. I love Nathan."
"You're not in love with him."
Brooke went to object but waited for Haley to finish what she was saying. "You can't be in love with him because you won't let go of Lucas. And until you do, Brooke sweetie you'll never be able to move on."
"Lets change the subject okay?" Brooke asked. Haley rolled her eyes and silently agreed. "Have you talked to Peyton? She hasn't returned any of my phone calls."
Haley nodded her head and sighed. "She said she was really busy with the gallery and that she would call you later today." Brooke nodded her head and paid for her purchases, unaware as to why Peyton was avoiding her.
……
Isabella threw her jacket on the floor and slammed the door behind her. "I hate Jennifer Nicole Jagelski, I am never talking to her again!" She sighed dramatically. Nathan came around the hallway and chuckled to himself at just how much the little girl sounded like her mother.
"What did she do now? Did she steal your Barbie?" He motioned for her to follow him into the kitchen where he was making a sandwich. She sat on the bar on the opposite side and waited for him to cut the sandwich into two and then handing her one side of it.
Isabella shook her head as she picked up the sandwich and began to explain to her uncle that her best friend what had happened that day at school. A few minutes later Nathan sat down on the other stool and sighed. Isabella looked at him, waiting for an answer and then finally screamed. "Uncle Nate! What do I do?"
"Well you're going to do your homework and I am going to go find something upstairs to teach you both a lesson," Nathan said. Isabella watched as her uncle climbed up the stairs towards her bedroom and sighed.
"Whatever."
Upstairs, Nathan made his way into his closet and looked on the top shelves. There was shoe boxes filled with memories of him and his friends in high school and he was sure that there were the letters that Peyton had written him some time ago, were safely tucked in there. As he took the lid off of the first shoe box, he noticed miscellaneous pictures thrown inside and a few cassettes that probably had Haley's songs on them. The next box was full of movie tickets and stuff that Brooke had kept from her cheer competitions to show her daughter.
He opened the third box and came across letters. They envelopes weren't addressed and he was sure he had come across the right box. But as he opened the letter to make sure, he instantly regretted opening the boxes. On the paper before him, was Brooke's writing. And the letters were to non other then his big brother.
Dear Lucas,
I'm sitting in English class and Mrs. Hahn's is quoting some author and I can see you perking up in your seat. She's talking about epic romances and I can't help but believe that she doesn't know what she is talking about. Cause the people in the fairytales…baby they don't hold a candle to us. I believe that.
Nathan put the letter back into the envelope and sighed to himself. He grabbed the next letter and opened it up, unsure why he was so perplexed to do so.
Lucas,
It's hard to believe we've been together for a year now. A year. Brooke Davis has been taken off the market and happily. It's even harder for me to believe that I haven't talked you into having sex with me yet. You keep telling me you want to make it special for me and I understand that. But you know what? I don't care what you do. I can't imagine losing my virginity to anyone else.
That was something he wasn't expecting. Nathan shut his eyes for a moment and held his breath realizing that Lucas not only had given Brooke her first baby but had also taken her virginity too? All the stories about Brooke's sexuality had been highly overplayed.
Lucas,
Tomorrow's our junior prom. Can you believe how long we've been together baby? I can't wait till tomorrow. You are going to flip when you see me in my dress. It's going to be perfect. You're perfect.
Nathan read through several others, including the one where Brooke went into detail about their first sexual encounter and he realized that he was invading her privacy. Still, he couldn't bring himself to stop looking through them. He pulled back one of the ones from the back and realized that it was dated. It was the night she had read his last letter. What could Brooke have possibly written to him then about? This letter was sealed, but Nathan didn't care. He ripped it open and couldn't help but get teary eyed at her words.
Dear Lucas,
I hate you for this. I hate you because I had finally gotten over it. I had finally accepted that you aren't coming home to me and that we'll never be a family again. And you mention me in her letter? God damn it Lucas, where are you? Why didn't you love me enough to stay? To work it out? I know I said that it wasn't working but you just gave up. You didn't even keep in contact with me and now ten years later here you are. Messing with my head. Mostly I hate you because I can't stop loving you. Every time I think I've stopped something reminds me of you. The other day Isabella was talking about some English author and that reminded me of you in Mrs. Hahn's class. Do you remember that? Hell do you remember anything?
I have all these letters for you, that you've never even seen. I've written them to you since we were first dating. There's 82 and most are long letters. And yet I've never been able to give them to you. Not because I don't want to, but because I have no address to send them too. Maybe if I was able to send them I'd finally be able to let you go.
Nathan read the last words and shoved the letter into the box. Isabella came to the closet doors and peaked inside. "Did you find it?" She asked him as he turned and shook his head no. "Are you okay uncle Nate?" Isabella asked, looking up at him with concern.
He nodded his head and sighed. "Yeah sweetie. I am going to keep looking for it," Nathan said.
"Umm about that," Isabella laughed a bit. "Jenny just called and apologized we're totally over it already." With that Isabella ran out of the room and Nathan laughed despite the situation. He leaned against the wall as he heard Brooke call out from the front door.
Nathan shut his eyes and wondered silently who got the better deal. Because he had Brooke with him, everyday. But Lucas- he had her heart.
……
"Izzy! Come help me bring in the bags from the trunk please!" Brooke called as she opened the front door. Her daughter darted down the stairs and wrapped her arms around her mother. "Wow, did you miss me?"
Isabella nodded her head and smiled. "Jenny and I had another fight. Uncle Nate tried to fix it but I we worked it out already," she smiled. Brooke opened the front door and walked towards the car with her daughter.
"What did you fight about?" Brooke asked her daughter.
Isabella shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing important anymore. Did you buy me anything?" She giggled as she peeked her nose into the many bags coming out of the trunk. Her mother shook her head no and laughed.
"You just got everything you wanted for your birthday. Why would I buy you anything else?"
Isabella pretended to pout before turning to her mother. "Because you're a great mom and you always bring me something."
"Well, if I always bring you something," Brooke pulled out a small box from a bag and handed it to her. "It's a makeup kit. It's got lipsticks and lip glosses in it. I figured you and Jenny could use a new one to play with."
Isabella wrapped her arm around her mother and took the makeup kit in her hands. "That's so cool! I am going to go show Uncle Nathan." Brooke watched as her ten year old daughter ran into the house and she smiled to herself. At least she had her daughter. A chill went through her and she looked over her shoulder. When she didn't see anything she sighed and headed towards the door.
Lucas watched until Brooke had safely entered her house and started the car as she shut the door behind her. He hadn't known why he felt so propelled to see the house again, to see her from a distance. But seeing her laughing and teasing her daughter, their daughter…had brought tears to his eyes.
He silently thought about the years he had wasted and the time he had spent away from the life he had always wanted and he made a vow within himself to change everything he could. He was going to become the man Brooke had always thought he was, the person deep down he already was.
tbc...