AUTHOR'S NOTE Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I do heart reviews. Here is the next chapter for your fanfictioning pleasure. The characters from MASH will enter in chapter three.
Sorry this chapter's so short. The next one will be longer!

DISCLAIMER Don't own them.

…

"Mum's gonna kill us," Fred repeated, surveying the scene before them. Sharp, dusty mountains accented the dry brown earth. The sky was bright blue, but there was nothing else pretty about the place. "Where in the name of Merlin are we, George?"

George looked around, utterly confused. "Uh…I don't know." He started walking.

One identical twin glared at the other. "Uh, you don't know? What the Hell does that mean?" George shrugged. Fred suddenly stopped. "You didn't set the portkey?"

"I've never turned something into a portkey before! I thought it set it for Hogwarts, that day in seventh year. Thought it might be fun to see Umbridge's reaction after we left." George grinned at the memory, then gestured helplessly around. "I don't think it worked right."

Fred glanced around the arid landscape. "I'm guessing not. Do you think the Time Turner worked right?"

George shrugged half-heartedly. "I was more preoccupied with making the portkey than setting either one."

"So you kind of set the Time Turner? Meaning we could be anywhere?" Fred asked incredulously.

"Anywhere and anywhen," George joked. He saw that Fred did not look pleased. "Oh come on, I didn't think it would work on the first try!" he said defensively.

"Since when has anything we've invented not worked the way we thought it would?" George gave Fred a look. Fred threw up his hands in defeat. "Fine. We'll just reset the Time Turner and go back home."

"Okay." But as he pulled the device out from under him, George winced. The hourglass was cracked in several places and the edges were broken. "It's broken," he reluctantly reported.

Fred's stomach dropped. They were stuck. He looked around hopelessly. "Then let's just walk. Maybe we'll find people or something."

"Maybe!" George said brightly. Fred glared at his brother, who grinned. Judging by the bright sun, it was nearing midmorning. They had all day to wander.

…

"How long have we been walking?" George asked.

"I dunno."

"Gred!" he whined. "I'm bored!"

Fred rolled his eyes. "Serves you right! You got us here!"

George looked at his brother, hurt. "I didn't mean to. Merlin, you sound like I did this on purpose."

Fred looked at his brother's wounded face. He sighed. "Somebody hex us the next time we decide to mess with bloody portkeys."

George continued to look hurt. There was not a soul in sight as they walked. The land looked remarkably the same, no matter how far they traveled.

Something appeared in the distance. "What's that?" George asked.

"I dunno."

George ignored his brother's obvious irritation and started toward the thing. As it got closer, he saw that it was a funny-looking car with no roof. It was on its side and small craters marred the ground. Looking around, the twins suddenly got a bad feeling.

"Uh, Fred?"

"Yeah. We need to get out of here."

Neither heard the whistle of the shell as they turned to leave. They only heard the explosion.

Fred rolled on the ground, coughing and trying to keep the dust out of his eyes. "What the Hell was that?" he asked as the smoke began to clear. "George?"

"Ugh…" George moaned, writhing on the ground. "Fred…?"

"George! Good Lord…" Fred scrambled to where his brother lay in the dirt. He held George's hand and smoothed down his hair. Tears sprang to his eyes. "What happened?"

"How – " George's voice caught. "How bad does it look?"

Fred reluctantly looked down at his brother's side. Crimson blood poured from the wound, staining the dusty ground. Fred blanched and struggled to keep the contents of his stomach down.

George saw his brother's face and nodded painfully. "I thought so." He closed his eyes and let his head rest on the ground.

"What should I do?" Fred whispered, tears running down his cheeks. He clutched George's hand tightly. "What should I do?"

But George did not answer. Fred muffled a sob. He didn't move. He just sat there, clinging to his unconscious twin in a land he didn't know, all alone.

He barely heard the helicopter as it approached.