AUTHOR'S NOTE Not much…hehe, poor Fred and George though…they definitely aren't prepared for this!

DISCLAIMER Still don't own any of them.

…

"Welcome to the Swamp!" Hawkeye announced ceremoniously as he opened the tent's door.

"Dah da da dah!" Trapper hooted his imitation of a trumpet's fanfare.

Fred and George looked around the tent appreciatively. "Brilliant," Fred finally commented. Hawkeye and Trapper lounged lazily on their cots as the twins walked around, admiring the Muggle lifestyle of the military.

Fred grinned at George. "Reminds me a little of home."

"Ah yes," George said fondly. "The good old Burrow!"

Trapper looked interested. "The Burrow?"

George nodded. "The house a la Weasley." He laughed. "The building wouldn't even stand up if we weren't all – "

Fred smacked his twin before he uttered the word "wizard" or "magic." They would tell Hawkeye and Trapper, but at the right time.

George glared at Fred. "If we weren't all…good at building things!" he finished, attempting to cover up his near slip.

Trapper and Hawkeye just watched the twins, amused. They were fully aware that there was something that Fred and George were hiding from them. If the two didn't volunteer the information freely, the two Swampmen would just find a more creative way to pry it out of them.

Fred and George finished their inspection and sat down a little uncomfortably. The awkward silence was broken when Fred muttered, "I could use a firewhiskey."

The twins first tried firewhiskey on a Hogsmeade weekend in their fifth year, although they didn't develop a taste for it until opening their shop. The numbing liquor easily melted away the stress of running a business.

Hawkeye lifted an eyebrow. "Firewhiskey? You two like to drink?"

"Some," Fred answered. "Why?"

"Well, we like to drink," Trapper replied. "It isn't whiskey, but it gets the job done." He held out two triangular goblets filled with clear liquid. "Ya up for it?"

The twins glanced at each other. George shrugged. "Why not?" They accepted the glasses from Trapper.

The first sip made George's eyes water and his esophagus catch fire. "Wow," he croaked. "Little bit stronger than firewhiskey."

Fred nodded his teary-eyed agreement. "What is this?"

Hawkeye raised his own glass in the air. "This is mother's milk!" he waxed. "The elixir of life! Our heart's blood!"

Fred's face paled and turned slightly green. "Please don't say blood." He remembered all too well his feeling of drowning in blood. As far as he knew, only Klinger was aware of how sick he'd been. He had no desire to relive it.

Trapper and Hawkeye just shrugged. "It's called a martini," Trapper said. He was busy pouring another for himself. "Bottoms up!" The four men lifted their glasses in the air.

"To the Americans, who send us here and we don't ask why. To the British, who send you here and don't tell you why!" Hawkeye toasted.

"Here, here!" George said and the four drained their glasses. The twins felt the liquid run like fire through their bodies and then fade into pleasant numbness much stronger than that of firewhiskey.

After a few glasses, the two wizards began to feel serious effects from the drink. They found it extremely funny.

"These Muggles really know how to make a drink!" George exclaimed between giggles.

"Uh…Muggles?" Hawkeye asked. He was still sober enough to be confused.

"Uh oh…George is in trouble!" Fred sang.

"No I'm–not," he managed to say.

"We don't know what Muggles are, if it helps," Trapper offered.

"You are!" Fred replied with a hoot. "At least, I think you are."

"We are not!" Hawkeye stated, feigning offense.

"Really?" the twins said together, completely serious.

"Uh…no."

"Oh." Identical faces fell.

Fred looked at his brother. "You couldn't even get us somewhere like Hogwarts, could you?" George just stuck his tongue out.

"You know," Fred slurred, drunkenly clutching his martini glass and turning to Hawkeye and Trapper. "We wouldn't even be here if George knew what he was doing."

Hawkeye was about to comment on George's injury, but he was cut off. "Hey!" George retorted. "I'd like to see you make a portkey out of a bloody Time Turner and set it right!"

"I think they've had enough, Hawk," Trapper whispered.

"They've had enough for the four of us!" Hawkeye turned to the twins. "Uh boys, I think you've had enough now."

Fred started giggling. "Okay!"

George's blurred eyes lit up. "Hey Fred! We should show 'em something!" He pulled his wand out. The two surgeons just eyed the wooden stick warily, then glanced at each other.

"Uh George, m-maybe we should wa-wait," Fred said, stuttering from more alcohol than he could handle.

George just shook his head and grinned. Pointing his wand at Frank's empty cot, he cried, "Serpensortia!"

There was a collective gasp from the other three men in the Swamp. Hawkeye and Trapper were staring aghast at the large black snake that had appeared from the end of George's wand. Fred was staring at his brother.

"That's a Slytherin spell!" he slurred, shocked.

"Nah," George replied, waving a hand.

"Did you see that?" Trapper whispered to Hawkeye.

"Do you see that?" Hawkeye said, pointing to the hissing serpent.

They hadn't noticed Fred pull out his wand also. "Petrificus Totalis!" The snake froze at his words, becoming stiff as a board. The alcohol took over the boy again and he picked up the stiff, straight reptile, brandishing it like a sword. "On guard!"

Dropping the bewitched animal, Fred collapsed onto the tent's one empty cot, laughing hysterically. George followed and it was only a moment before the two had passed out.

The Swampmen looked at them, bewildered. Only one thing could be said.

"Oh boy."