to kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed / you drew stars around my scars, but now i'm bleeding

- cardigan, taylor swift (folklore)

even from inside the car, sakura can hear the loud thump of the bass coming from the bar in front of them. if she tries harder, she can hear roaring laughter and a united chug chug chug from a birthday celebrant's guests inside. on the rear, motorcycles and cars pass them by, all of them without an idea of who she is or what she's doing.

besides, she can barely give them any attention anyway, especially if sasuke uchiha is between her legs.

his hands are hot on her skin, roaming around her thighs and hips, leaving a trail of flame on their wake. his lips are feverish, too; tongue lapping up her neck and the sensitive skin directly below her ear, making her shiver.

it's friday night and she still has one class left for tomorrow which she needs to study for, but here she is studying sasuke instead.

sakura detaches her lips from his and proceeds to leave butterfly kisses on his chin up to his ear where she whispers her feelings, just like she always does—

"i love you…"

sasuke is not the type to be vocal but his i love you, too is spoken with his fingers tugging the waist of her underwear, whispered with his mouth going feral against hers, and shouted with his dark eyes looking into her soul.

and in the small confines of his car, sakura knows that sasuke loves her.

there's something different with the way he grips her body tonight, though. it started around a month ago where sasuke's always touching her in any way he can; like he can't get enough. this goes to her favor, though. she knows how important his personal space is. the mere fact that sasuke is letting her in that sacred space is a huge deal; what more with this.

the desperate push of his hips underneath hers makes her pull back. as much as she likes the feeling of him become this man of desire whenever they're together recently, sakura can't help but wonder.

"sasuke-kun," she calls him softly, pulling gently on his hair so he can look at her. once she sees his face, she cups his cheek with her hand. "will you tell me what's wrong now?"

sasuke distracts her by turning his face towards her palm so he can plant a kiss on it. as he moves his lips from her palm down to her wrist, he answers her back.

"i don't know what you're talking about," he murmurs, eyes closed as he continues his assault on her arm. "can't you see i'm busy here?"

sakura lets out a small laugh, "don't play coy with me, sasuke uchiha. i know you." she yelps when she feels him bite the inside of her upper arm. "sasuke-kun!" she berates.

he lifts his head so she can see him fully, then his eyes remain on hers for a while.

see, this is what sakura is talking about. yes, sasuke has these moments where he likes to just keep his eyes on her as she burns through it. he may have both the most expressive and the most reserved eyes she's ever known. if he doesn't want it, you'll never have an idea what's in his head because he will be completely closed off.

just like now— where his words are playful and his touch is holy, but his usual loving gaze is missing. it's replaced by something that sakura can't pinpoint.

her heart thrums in fear.

before she can confront him for it, his entire car rings from a call on his phone which is connected to his car. she's about to ask who it is but sasuke doesn't give her a chance and kisses her again. she gasps in surprise and he takes that chance to dive inside her mouth. his hands find the clasp of her bra underneath her dress and fumbles on it.

the ringing stops.

she can feel him shaking and her dread increases twofold. he's never like this.

"wait-" she mumbles against his mouth. she puts her hand on his chest and she can feel the erratic beating of his heart. "sasuke-kun, are you okay? you're scaring me…"

with those words, sasuke gently untangles their lips together. he breathes in heavily and releases it just as deep. she can feel that something's been weighing on him.

"you know you can talk to me, right?"

his phone rings again and the entire vehicle vibrates with the shrill of it. his head is down, forehead against her chest as he trembles from within. she can't take this anymore.

sakura moves his head to look at him and there she sees it.

guilt.

what is he guilty about? she thinks to herself.

she holds his eyes for as long as she can while the ringing continues for the second time. the caller seems to be more insistent this time for sasuke to answer the phone. it continues for a few more moments until sasuke's voicemail finally picks it up this time.

sasuke uchiha. leave a message.

beep.

sasuke.

a gruff voice comes through the speakers— his father. sakura feels sasuke's body tense under her.

your mother is worried. did you tell haruno, yet?

sakura's eyebrows meet in confusion. tell me what?

she feels sasuke move beneath her, lifting her body so he can grab his phone, but not until fugaku uchiha shatters her dreams of being with sasuke forever—

end it now before you leave japan tomorrow. you don't want to have some loose strings on your way to london.

the call drops together with her heart.

"sakura…" she hears him say, but he already feels so far away. she looks at him, incredulous and hurt, and moves to get her body back to the passenger seat.

sasuke holds her waist to keep her still, "please, hear me out. i-"

"do you have any plans on telling me?" she whips her head towards him, tears forming in her eyes. "or i'm just gonna be your loose string and watch as you stitch your life away from me without ever telling me why?"

his silence is as good as a confession that yes, there are no plans at all, and sakura feels her heart break.

sakura abruptly moves away from him, straightens her dress and opens the passenger door. she hears him call her and feels the ghost of his touch as he reaches for her, but she shakes it away before hailing a cab right away.

sasuke pounds on the window of the vehicle when she gets in, and she fights the urge to look at him and come back to his arms.

"please! sakura, listen to me! let me explain!"

she feels like she's underwater, hearing his pained voice calling her name. she closes her eyes.

maybe this is the consequence of letting him take care of her scars by carving star-shaped dreams around it. maybe this is the consequence of thinking that just because he drew these silly little dreams on it, they will come true.

a scar is still a scar no matter how much you decorate it. they will never go away.

maybe this is the consequence of loving sasuke uchiha— bleeding inside an old cab as it takes her home, when she knows her true home is leaving her instead.

a/n: boy do i feel rusty lmao