Chapter 9 - Reflection

Yahiko came home just in time to see Sanosuke storming out the door. He bounced past him, no eye contact made whatsoever, before grumbling an inaudible sorry.

"What's the matter with him?" Yahiko questioned Kenshin as he continued to peer at Sanosuke bewilderedly as he stampeded down the hall. He closed the door behind him and turned towards Kenshin who looked not too pleasant himself.

"You guys had a disagreement again or something?" He sunk his butt into the cushion of the nearest sofa with his knapsack still draped upon his shoulders. He was exhausted. The preparation for the party was taking a lot out of him.

"Here I came a-hustlin' over here to fetch Sano to come assist us and he storms off," he continued with his one-sided conversation. He already realized that whatever had happened a few moments before his arrival had to be a bit more than a simple bicker. "So are you gonna let me continue talking to myself Kenshin?" He shuffled his bag unto the floor and slouched lazily in his seat. "Jeez!" he sighed loudly and panted in exasperation. It had only been ten minutes and his lack of patience got the best of him. His temper began to flare.

"Kenshin!" Like a restless little child Yahiko now shifted himself forward and propped his cheeks within his palm with an elbow on each knee. "The party will be commencing in a few hours and we have no time for this right now. You and Sano better get your shit together and find your asses down there!" No longer able to remain in his presence, he walked away and headed in the direction of the bathroom. He had noticed that during those ten minutes that had passed never once did Kenshin make eye contact with him as well. Something serious had occurred and he would make it his agenda to find out.

B r e a k

Sanosuke was blinded by rage and heartbreak. He drove so recklessly to the one place he knew he would gain some answers. And as he finally stood outside face to face with the apartment building, his heart clenched with doubt and he wondered if he could face her. He knew he had to. He needed to hear the truth from her lips, from Megumi.

He made his way through the first entrance and hit the buzzer awaiting her response.

"Who is it?" her voice came through the receiver.

There was a short pause before he finally obliged a reply. "It's me Sanosuke." His heart raced as he heard the beep to let him in and he walked in hesitantly. He wondered why such procrastination overcame him so, as he made his way up the stairs. This was what he wanted he tried to convince himself. It's not that he didn't trust the words that his best friend relayed. He just needed absolute confirmation or rather just for her to tell him it was a lie, or a joke, a sick cruel prank conjured by she and Kenshin to piss him off.

He could not remember last when he stepped his foot inside Megumi's apartment. He climbed his eighth flight of stairs and was a bit surprised to find Megumi at the landing waiting to greet him. Was paranoia overcoming him or did it seem like she already knew why he was there. He questioned himself over and over until Megumi finally pierced his thoughts. "We need to talk right?" she inquired with obligation and he only nodded his head in agreement. He wondered when his anger had finally subsided. All he felt now was sadness.

He initiated the conversation. "Kenshin told me everything. I know what happened - - between you and him." He searched for any hint of denial in her eyes but found none. "So I guess it's true huh?"

"I'm sorry Sanosuke," she apologized with her head bowed. "I wanted to tell you but…"

"Save it!" he retorted. "I got my answer and you got what you wanted --- it's over!" He left her standing there and before he knew it he was back in his car again, clutching at the ignition, horrified. He never looked back once, never when he left her presence, never when he had exited the building. But he wanted to. Megumi still held on to a piece of his heart. And a part of him hoped she would come running after him. And that's just what she did.

B r e a k

"I'm heading back over to Tsubame's place," Yahiko stated. He stood near the door, which was already ajar and awaited at least just one word from his friend. But annoyance only consumed him as the room remained engulfed in complete silence. The only sound that finally echoed was a slam signaling Yahiko closing the door. Kenshin was finally alone and he sat there dwelling amongst the unnerving quiet.

He kept recapping the conversation he had with Sano over and over in his head. And he wondered if Kaoru already knew since Sanosuke obviously stormed off to her and Megumi's place. If so, he knew he was fated to be separated from her forever. It was the one thing that he dreaded. He cared for her so dearly and could not bear the thought of her being with another.

He looked at the coat thrown upon the couch alongside him. Should I go he thought to himself. He felt the urge to see her and just the mere notion quickened his heartbeat so unrelenting. "Oh, what the heck." He threw his jacket on quickly. He tightened his ponytail and checked himself in front the nearest mirror. Misery was the last expression he wanted coated upon his face. Contented with what he saw, he headed out the door.

B r e a k

"Sanosuke…" He and Megumi stood together face to face. She had chased after him after all. Maybe there was hope for them yet Sanosuke thought.

"I'm ready to open up to you," she offered. "I owe you at least that much."

"It's getting cold ---- and dark, you should go inside," he suggested. The notion stabbed at her heart immensely but her fears soon calmed as he said. "I'll come with you."

He followed her back inside the building and he surprised even himself as he draped his palm unto her shoulders. She tensed up at first but soon relaxed in relief from the connection. Her heart smiled thankfully.

They took a seat upon the staircase, side by side, neither one of them looking at each other. It felt awkward and Megumi could not help but twiddle her thumbs nervously as she wondered where to begin. Sanosuke clutched her hands comfortingly and urged her into the explanation.

"This is going to hurt once I say this," she advised. "But it's something that you need to know." He nodded for her to continue.

"I'm not sure if you remember but, just about a year ago you and I were not even as much as good friends. I was the pretty, long-haired girl but still somehow I was an outcast. Most girls hated me and all guys wanted to do was sweet talk there way into my pants. And I'll be lying if I said I didn't sometimes submit but that was only because of the low self-confidence I had. Kenshin was the first person to truly accept me or rather the one who really tried to get to know who I am. And for that I could not help but fall in love with him and I swore to keep it to myself. He had Kaoru and because of him she had also become my friend. And so did you and everyone else that seemed to surround the circle in which he dwelled."

"Little did you know that I had been watching you the entire time," Sanosuke cut in. He rubbed his palm over his face lightly then tugged at the little stubble of hair peeking beneath his chin. "I had always noticed you, even before Kenshin did. But honestly, I never thought I would have a chance."

"I have a knack for wanting things I could never have you know," she admitted. "I did eventually realize your feelings for me though and once I came to terms with my unrequited love I decided to settle for you."

"Whooteedoo, ain't I the lucky guy." He managed to crack a smile on her face. Not long did the tone get serious again.

"But you became more than just second best to me Sanosuke," she swore. "You brought out a side of me that I never knew I had myself. And I had fallen in love with you --- genuinely and deeply in love with you. But somehow, despite that, my feelings for Kenshin still remained."

Sanosuke motioned himself to leave but Megumi stopped him. She clutched unto his jacket tightly. "I'm sorry but you need to hear this." She stared at him intensely. Her eyes became glassy as tears settled to the brim of her eyes.

He caved in and settled back down. "You know Megumi, we've been sitting here for the last fifteen minutes and somehow you've managed to do nothing but confuse me."

"I care about you Sano," she pleaded. "You have to believe me."

"Well you've had a really great way of showing it have you."

"Two weeks ago," she decided to continue. "I was feeling down and my self-esteem was low. I remember it was that particular Saturday night, a few hours after you had confessed your undying devotion towards me. It tugged at my heart and had affected me so emotionally. It's like on that day it truly dawned on me how foolish I had been all those months. I had been wishing for something I could not have when the best thing had always been beside me. I felt guilty and it consumed me. I needed someone to talk to and so I turned to your best friend. He seemed to be dealing with some issues of his own but not one bit did he relay.

We had found ourselves at a bar; you know the one four blocks down from the school called Akabeko. We both welcomed each other's miserable company and there was no better solution than drinking our problems away. For me, I didn't feel like I deserved you. Not while for all the time we had been together, I had harbored those feelings for Kenshin. I knew it was wrong and I kept asking myself why I didn't just give up on it. And soon after, my envy of Kaoru's happiness had returned ten-fold. Because she knew not how it felt, how it felt to have your heart torn in two, while she earned the happiness of the one guy she loved.

That night when we had left the bar, we were wasted. My memory of what occurred still remains very vague. My only recollection was tossing my clothing aside to Kenshin's mercy. My subconscious knew of what was occurring but yet some part of me did not mind it at all. But the feeling I felt next was the opposite --- I felt worse. By the time everything dawned on me, on the both of us, it was too late. And Kenshin was so cold. And for the first time he gave me that look, the look that came from the rest of guys I had encountered – hate, pity, guilt, disgust. We swore to secrecy, to never bring up the transpiration, ever.

I was ready to give up on you Sanosuke. The guilt was too much to bear hence my reason for the resolution of a separation. But if you'd find it in your heart to forgive me, to give me another…"

"You think it's that easy? You think you can just tell me all of this and all the misgivings in my heart will just fade away."

"But I…" Megumi stammered. She sat there frozen. She realized nothing she said now would make a difference in his response. She knew what was coming.

"I'll need a little time…" He sighed heavily. He stood up and stretched lazily, his back turned towards her. "I'll just… I guess I'll talk to you later.

The tears finally began to stream down Megumi's eyes as Sanosuke left her behind, never once looking at her face.

B r e a k

A/N: Things are winding down now. Will Sanosuke and Megumi ever make up? What would Kenshin do when he comes face to face with Kaoru? And what about the secret of his infidelity? And after all of this, would Sanosuke still throw the birthday party for Kenshin after all? So many questions to be answered right? Hard to believe all of this is happening in one day. More will be revealed in the upcoming chapters. Please review